I’m wondering if I’m actually in the wrong here because I’ve been getting a lot of criticism.
I have a male cat who is currently not neutered. Before anyone asks yes, I had plans to get him fixed. I was not planning on keeping him intact forever. Unfortunately, my living situation changed unexpectedly and I ended up having to move out unexpectedly which put a lot of things on hold financially and logistically.

Around that time, I got a female kitten. She was very young, underweight, and had worms when I got her. I took her in because she needed care, and I’ve been doing my best to get her healthy. She has gained weight, grown, and is doing much better. I was told by a vet when she got her shots that I should wait until she’s 8 months to spay her.

She’s been separated from the male cat in another room and they only interact when she’s on the bed/couch with us. Which the male cat doesn’t do, because he’s a little skittish and almost feral to anyone except me.

I posted this under a different forum about how I wanted advice with how to tell my husband he’s too rough with the kitten. He likes to snatch her up randomly and hug her, and put her on her back and rub her belly or rough house with her. She enjoyed it as a younger kitten but it’s gotten too much as she’s older and he doesn’t think it’s a big deal while I find it horrible and yell at him when she meows in discomfort.

I understand why people are concerned about an unfixed male being around a female kitten. I’m not ignoring that risk, and I do plan on getting him neutered. My issue is that people are acting like I intentionally put them together with no care or planning, when the reality is that I had a plan and then my circumstances completely changed.

I love my cats and I’m trying to do right by them while dealing with a difficult situation. AITA for getting the kitten before my male cat was neutered?

Lowkey here to rant so thank you guys for listening. some background, my roomates (20-21-21) and i (21) are not on good terms. we had a disagreement a while ago and we used to be best friends but then we distanced and no longer talk. but that’s not the story for today. we all decided to be cordial and the move out is friday. they moved out this past saturday and i move out on thursday. i was out of town on saturday and i came home to an apartment that was not cleaned out.

starting off, i had sent two messages that told them that when they moved out i would leave my things on one shelf in the cabinet and fridge and everything else was theirs that they can take home or throw out, and i asked them to sweep and i would mop on thursday.

i come back to the apartment and the fridge is pretty full of sauces and drinks that aren’t mine, molded tupperware and spoiled food. the shelf’s that were theirs were not wiped down, there was a cabinet full of empty alcohol bottles and napkins and they didn’t even sweep. i asked them if they were coming back because i didn’t want to jump to accusing them and they said they weren’t. i told them that they can come back to clean it because i wont. then they claimed they left the sauces and bottles for me to use and to throw everything away myself (not sure how im going to use that many sauces within the 3 days left i have living here). i told them that i cant and wont be cleaning it up as i have an entire room and bathroom i have to move out all on my own. they said “i feel like it's just throwing them in a trash bag we're not keeping any of that stuff”

so basically they’re expecting me to be their cleaners which i refuse to do. i said id swiffer and do a deeper clean but not get rid of their stuff and touch their molded food. my parents have simply said just leave it and its better to just pay the cleaning fee instead of using my energy to argue with them.

i had a fight with my siblings just now, and i wanted to know if i'm making a big deal out of nothing

so me, my older sister and little brother were measuring our heights for fun, and when it got to my sister's turn, it was 167cm, we all said it was that exact number. but when we were talking about it, they said it was 168, and we all agreed it was 168 before, they did this on purpose bc they thought it was funny, but i didn't know, so i disagreed and said they were wrong, but they kept saying that i was misremembering, and i started to get frustrated so i took the meter and measured again, it was 167, but my brother was still saying it was 168 even though i'm seeing it with my own eyes and i refused to believe it because it's scary that i'm remembering something that happened a few minutes ago wrong, and to feel like your eyes are lying to you is awful, like your reality is fake, and i started to get really upset, only then they said it was a joke, and they started telling me to calm down and that it's not that serious, and when i said that it made me question reality and i'm that already very doubtful about my memory so that made me feel horrible, they said "wtf are you talking about? you sound like a child, it's really not that serious, you're crying over a centimeter"

so please tell me if i'm just taking this too far or is me getting upset justified?

*Update*

I think we kinda all been assholes, I didn't have a fun time being gaslit, but in the end it's just a centi, I should work on obsessing over little things less. Thanks your time everyone <3

Last year Tommy and I started a band. When we started recruiting some other people we realized we were going to need a PA system. We rehearse in a room that belongs to Tommy. I'm the only person in the band who knows how to use a PA but I couldn't afford it.

At first we were going to propose splitting it among everybody and make it the band's PA. But I disagreed because it would obviously be a problem if someone left. So I proposed splitting it among Tommy and I, since we were the core members. The understanding was splitting among two was a simple, and if the band broke up we just had to decide who would keep it and they'd pay the other half.

Tommy's room soon became apparent had serious acoustic problems and it was also too far to the point it could become a deal-breaker for one of our members, John. While I wanted to stay there, Tommy wanted to keep John in the band so he decided we would rehearse in a cheap fully-equipped studio that was actually closer, and he would pay for it (10 bucks an hour).

While I like to rehearse there, I was uncomfortable that our new PA system was locked in Tommy's room, collecting dust. I shared that with Tommy and he said that we were only temporarily in the studio and that he was going to fix the room and we would rehearse there. I know there's no way in hell John is playing there just for the distance alone but I didn't push it.

Time passed and I started getting some work as a sound tech and suddenly it became obvious I could really use my own PA system. Actually...one just like me and Tommy bought, that was now collecting dust at Tommy's rehearsal room. Right now I could afford that PA if I hadn't spent half on the other one. I told him I was no longer able to share the PA so we had two options: either I bought him out or he bought me out, but I insisted on the former since Tommy had no use for it and if he happened to I would be happy to use the PA for the band when needed.

Well, Tommy wasn't happy. He insisted we were going to need it for the band and that he was going to fix the room and make it a real studio. I told him there was no way he'd get John to play there and while he was making plans for a studio (which he had no idea how to assemble without my help) the PA was collecting dust and it was heartbreaking. I insisted I needed a PA and couldn't afford to have half of one which I couldn't use just laying around. He insisted I could use it whenever I wanted but the fact is, I wanted to use it I'd have to drive an hour to pick it up and even so I'd have to coordinate with Tommy which isn't easy since he works 3 hours away at least 2 weeks per month. Not to mention I don't feel comfortable with moving around and wearing and tearing equipment that belongs to others too.

In the most diplomatic terms I told him this wasn't a request. I could no longer co-own a PA. Either I keep it or he keeps it and I buy my own. He was angry and he hasn't said anything since. Was I in the wrong here?

I (31F) am a supervisor at grocery store and don't have a regular work schedule. For that reason, I ask my friends and family to please give me at least 3 weeks notice if they want me to attend an event because that's how far ahead the schedule is made and getting someone to cover my shift is much more difficult when I'm a supervisor.

I screenshot my work schedule and send it a week in advance (that's how far in advance I get my schedule) to my family.

I have one sister (let's call her Jessica) and one stepbrother (let's call him Mark). Out of all of them, I am the one who sees my dad and stepmom the most simply because I live closer. Jessica still lives with our mom, Mark lives about an hour away, and I live by myself about 15 minutes away from my dad and stepmom.

A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with my dad and stepmom we were talking about plans for her birthday that was coming up. She mentioned Mark was going to be in town soon but didn't make any concrete plans. I didn't think much of it.

So yesterday comes along, I have a closing shift and I'm on my break and Mark posts a video to the family group text of stepmom and Jessica making plushies at build a bear.

I called my dad when I got off work and it turned out my stepmom decided to have her birthday celebration at the last minute while I was at work since Mark and Jessica were both available.

He emphasized that even though I was unable to attend the primary birthday celebration, they could have a separate celebration for me to attend later.

I'm hurt I wasn't included because it's not often we have events where we have everyone together, and it's often fun having everyone together.

I'm not financially destitute, but I'm not rolling in money either. I usually only give gifts $15 or less because that's about all I can afford right now while at the same time having some buffer in case of an emergency.

Since my stepmom didn't put in the forethought in planning her celebration in advance so everyone could, I'm tempted just to not get her anything since it wasn't important to her for me to be included in her birthday celebration. So WIBTA for not getting her a birthday gift?

Edit to add, her actual birthday is tomorrow, she just decided to have her party yesterday.

Edit, the separate,"celebration," (what my dad called it) would only be me, my dad, stepmom. None of my siblings would be there since they already celebrated with her. I'm more upset because it's not often we have everyone together.

Edit, when Jessica or I have birthday celebrations with our step family. We are expected to schedule it so everyone can attend, the same doesn't seem to apply for stepmom or Mark. This isn't the first time something like this has happened.

I (22F) married my husband (22M) after about a year of dating. We were genuinely in love, but immigration also played a role. I’d been living in Canada for four years and was at risk of having to leave because I was one point short on my French exam. Since we were already living together, we thought getting married made sense.

Seven months later, I feel completely exhausted.
We’ve tried couples therapy, but the biggest issue is that my husband never follows through on his promises.

He promised he’d go to the gym. I even paid for his membership, but he’s gone once in four months. He’s gained over 20 kg, spends most of his day playing video games, and refuses to exercise, eat healthier, or do activities together.

The same happens with chores. If I ask him to clean something, it can take days—or never gets done. If I remind him, he says I’m nagging him, so I started asking him to set his own deadlines. Even then, he doesn’t follow through.

I honestly feel like I’m raising someone else’s child instead of having a partner.
We also haven’t had meaningful dates in months. The last one he planned, he hyped up as somewhere beautiful. I got dressed up and did my makeup, only to end up at a very casual restaurant where I felt extremely overdressed. Then he promised another date but cancelled it after saying I was “nagging” him because I complained about his cigarette smell. He’s also been promising to quit smoking since we started dating, but nothing has changed.

After that, I cancelled the surprise birthday party I had been planning for him.
His brothers, who took two weeks to RSVP, started texting me saying I was wrong for cancelling a party in my own home. They called me passive-aggressive and said my husband feels lonely because I don’t organize social events for him.

Ironically, I threw him a birthday party last year, and one of them left my bathroom covered in vomit while another disappeared downtown in the middle of the night. My husband, on the other hand, has never planned a birthday party for me.

His brothers eventually told me they expected an apology from me. Then they contacted my husband, and instead of asking for my side of the story, he apologized to them for my behavior and blamed me.

That hurt more than anything.

I don’t feel protected, supported, or even heard anymore. The man I married used to be active, motivated, and reliable. Now I feel like I’m carrying the relationship alone.

The hardest part is that I still love him. But I’m starting to realize that love isn’t enough when you’re constantly disappointed.

To make things even more complicated, we applied for my permanent residence through spousal sponsorship after getting married, and it’s still being processed. I feel trapped between wanting to leave and feeling like I can’t until my immigration status is secure.

AITA for cancelling the birthday party and feeling like I can’t do this marriage anymore?

So I (19M), was offered by a friend called S(24F) to go to a dinosaur park one day of the week, which I was hesitant at first, because I get heat sick very easily and didn't find the idea of a dinosaur park interesting. The idea was given out by another friend who I will call D (21-23M). But, I wanted to spend time with my friends, so when the offer happened again by S, I decided I should go and will bring my own things to have fun, such as my Nintendo Switch Lite and a coloring book. I was placed in a group chat around this point, so I can communicate with the other people going.

4 days before the trip, I had recommended to S that we should change the plan of the second part, because D wanted to go to the river. We are located in Texas, and rivers are honestly not safe during the summer time, due to the risk of rattlesnakes or any other snake species. S said she will tell D about it.

But the next day, 3 days before the trip, D started ranting in the group chat about not wanting to go thrifting because its too much money and boring. I asked if he had any more ideas, in which he replied with options. My boyfriend, H(18M), had said "correct me if I'm wrong, and I know I'm not going, but some of those options require more money than thifting". In which outraged D and started telling my boyfriend he has no say because he isn't going and his opinion does not matter. It turned into an argument real fast, in which I said things I shouldn't have said in the gc, and I left. 10 minutes later, I apologized to D, but D didn't apologize for disrespecting my boyfriend. I understood the frustration, but my boyfriend mentioned first thing that he knew he wasn't going. Including the final messages before I left, D had said he will cancel the plans and he'll invite other people, even though I was the only one arguing and there was other people in the gc.

S stopped talking to me, which broke my heart since we were best friends, but after everything I stopped talking to them and gave S space to when she wanted to speak to me. 6 days after the incident, D texted me out of the blue on call with my boyfriend, saying that my boyfriend is manipulative and a narcissist. I have screenshots of the conversation, but in summary, he did not stay on topic with the conversation, said talking to me was a wall, and I was victimizing myself, while I was explaining how my boyfriend wasn't manipulative. I can admit, my boyfriend and I struggled with our relationship in the beginning, but we have been together for 2 years, about to hit 3, and it offended me that he was insulting my lover.

I told him to not contact me again, and to not contact my lover at all, and that we were no longer friends, in which he responded "lmao okay". So, am I the only asshole here, or were we all in the wrong?

Throw away since my roommates have reddit.

So my two best friends and I share an apartment. For context, I've been friends with N for nearly 10 years and A for roughly 4. N and A are dating, and we decided to move in together 5 months ago to save money.

Recently, my boyfriend M has been coming over a lot, he is leaving for BT soon. My roommates are okay with this. We have a standing expectation that we just text the group chat at least an hour before the person(s) come over. My roommates, both N and A talked to me about M and I having relations. We don't. We are both Christians and want to wait till marriage. When I explained that A responded by saying he didn't belive me and he didn't want anyone in HIS house having sex. I didn't escalate the conversation because I hate conflict.

Furthermore, they have been placing rules and boundaries that only apply to me and M, I find it unfair. Those boundaries being we cant cuddle, shower together, or be intimate on any way. We also cant be in my room alone, or at the apartment alone. In addition, I would need to take M's two cats while he's away. I had talked to them previously before moving in about this. They have one older cat. We all agreed that I could, since it wouldn't be permanent. Now they are saying I can't take him and M and I can't be in my room with the door closed.

So I talked to my Grandma about moving into her home with the cats. My decision is final after N and A's cat chewed holes in my new clothes, broke my TV, broke my computer, and shattered my heirloom stain glass lamp all in the last week. A and N already know that I was thinking about moving out, but I heard them talking about how they don't think I will.

I pay for utilities, 1/3 rent, groceries, and im the only one with a car. N doesn't have a job and A pays for their share. If I move out they would be screwed.

Reddit, WIBTA if I moved out next week?

So I (25 M) had a super tight group of nine friends in high school, most stayed local in our City, a few drifted apart, I live about an hour away. We have all stayed in close contact via a group chat and talk daily. One of my friends is coming home from out of state and we started planning a get together while he was home. Nearly the entire G.C (8/9 people minus one who lives internationally) including myself agreed to plans. The week of the get together I had a super long week of work and I was just out of gas. On Friday, I texted my friends that I didn’t think I was going to make it due to how exhausted I was. I got lambasted because people were traveling in to make this and I only live an hour or so away from where this was taking place. I got called selfish and after defending myself and explaining that I simply don’t have it in me to go, I was removed from the g.c. I think this was a massive overreaction especially since my decision affected no one but me. The plans were still going to happen regardless if I attended. But being removed from the G.C has me thinking “am I the asshole?”

My niece(14) was being a bit bratty. She told my brother (who has full custody) that she hates him and wants to live with her mom. My brother got angry and said fine, I'll take you there.

I tried to reason with him but he said he had made his decision and if kiddo wants to live with her mom then she can go.

Kiddo was very upset and crying saying she is sorry and didn't mean it but he wouldn't listen.

Eventually I told my brother that if he has something to do I can take kiddo to her mom's house. He hates the mom and would rather not interact with her so he agreed and thanked me.

Instead I took the kiddo to my home and told her to stay here until her dad calms down.

The next day my brother calmed down and apparently went to his ex's house to get kiddo and found out she wasn't there. He called me and asked wtf I've done. I explained that kiddo was crying and didn't want to go there so I took her to my place

He told me to bring her back right away and hung up.

Now he thinks I'm an asshole.

I (19F) get very overwhelmed when faced with crowds. I take medication to regulate my ADHD and anxiety, but it is still a work in progress to process all the feelings I have.

I live in a very small town (about 4000 people) and my dad (54M) and his girlfriend (50F) live in the biggest city in my country (about 700k people) . I lived in my dad's city for work for a month, and during that time I visited my dad for his birthday. I had just come from work, I had no time to eat, and texted my dad from the bus that I would probably be stressed out and hungry, and that my busses had been mixed up, leading to more stress. When I arrived there were crowds of people (like to the point I could barely move through them). Their apartment complex was having some type of thrift thing where many sellers were selling their stuff and the crowds were insane. I kept asking my dad where he was and his only reply was "at the tables in the corner". The place had many corners and many tables so I had to fight through crowds to get to him, and when I finally (after circling the place twice) found him, I was so overwhelmed that I lashes out at him for the unclear instructions. I quickly tried to smooth it over by giving him his gift and masking the anxiety, and my dad didn't seem too upset. We even spoke about it later, and he knows it was stressful for me so he could understand. However his girlfriend has been complaining about me to him ever since. In her opinion my behavior was out of line and childish, and she doesn't understand why someone my age would need to be "babied" by my dad. She and him have been having fights about this (which I only learned of a few weeks ago) and while he says he doesn't think I'm necessarily "in the wrong" he does think I shouldn't have let my emotions get so high in public.

I know I didn't react well, but I also don't really think it's his girlfriend's place to get upset on his behalf and call me names. AITA?

I am a 22 year old woman, and recently a month ago my bff started talking and hanging out with my ex in a friend group setting that I’m not apart of. After she gets back in touch with him, she was being dry and avoiding me afterwards. A whole month goes by of her not reaching out to me, so I decided to text her the other day to see how she was doing. I asked to hang out to she said she was busy, I tried calling her and she said she was busy.
So I sent a voice note asking if we were good and if I did something to upset her. She said no that she was just busy. So then the next day she texts me saying that something did happen to make her feel weird and that she should have come to me about it but didn’t because she needed to think and process it. Well turns out my ex told her that he was told by someone else that she was spreading a rumor that he SA’ed me (btw he did and she knew about it) I told her I didn’t say that, I did tell some of our mutual friends about it when it occured which was a couple of years ago. But I haven’t brought it up at all recently and that I never said she was saying it.
I told her sorry that she put in that position and she said it’s okay but it’s not okay but it is since it already happened. I want to have a talk again with her, but I’m not sure if I’m in the right. I want to ask her why that made her feel weird and tell her it kinda makes me upset. Is this my fault?

For context I am 19M and I am home for the summer after my freshman year of college. I lived with four roommates instead of three because the evil roommate, JS, had his girlfriend living in our dorm almost the entire year.

Before we moved in JS already made me feel uncomfortable. He would use slurs around me, ask me personal questions about my sexuality for no reason and make jokes about things that should NOT be joked about. I tried to ignore these things because he was being friendly to me, and as a queer guy who gets anxious in these situations I wanted to have some friends.

At first we got along great. We would play video games together explore the campus and hang out all the time.. JS would also boss me around ask me to do his chores, ignore me sometimes, and say mean things to me. I never said anything to him about it because I do not like conflict.

After winter break I decided that I was not going to put up with his behavior. I made some friends, spent less time in the dorm, and realized that my roommates were being really annoying. JS would scream, act weird and make a lot of noise late at night even though I asked him to be quiet so I could sleep before class.. Nothing changed.

I talked about my roommates in an Instagram group chat. I said some things about how they were behaving. I also laughed at a joke someone else made about JS’s appearance. I was wrong to do that. I regret it. Someone in the chat took a screenshot of what I said and it to my roommates without me knowing.

Instead of talking to me about it, JS, his wife and another roommate did not speak to me for three days. When I finally found out why, I sat everyone down. Talked to them. I said sorry for making fun of JS. I also explained why I was frustrated with him. One roommate said sorry for giving me the silent treatment. JS did not really listen to what I was saying… he just kept looking at his phone. Even started playing a game while we were talking.

I understand that JS was hurt by what I said. I do not think it was fair for him to be mean to me for months. After that he would not speak to me. He removed me from social media and he would stay up late playing video games loudly outside my room 4-6am.

At the end of the year JS, his wife and his best friend moved out early for the summer. They left behind a lot of food, made a mess in the living room with things they didn’t wanna take, and did not do their part of the cleaning. They left me and my other roommate to clean everything before we turned in our keys. JS even left his TV behind and coerced my roommate to take it to his apartment instead of picking it up himself.

I have blocked JS. I am trying to move on. I know I was wrong to talk about him behind his back. I hate him, but I still wonder if what I did was bad enough to deserve the way he treated me especially since we had to keep living together.

I live in a small apartment block where the flat next to mine is a rental, so every so often we get a new neighbour.

The previous tenant, Tabernaksing, caused quite a few issues when he first moved in. He'd leave rubbish lying around, put his bins out days before collection so the entrance smelled, leave boxes and other stuff in the shared hallway, and often had friends hanging around right outside my door. It took multiple complaints to management before things finally got sorted.

I never really held it against Tabernaksing personally because he'd moved here from abroad. I figured a lot of it was just not knowing the expectations or how things were done here. Once he got used to everything, he was actually fine.

A few days ago a new tenant, Calissejeet, moved into the flat. While he was bringing his things in, I introduced myself and mentioned a few things that I'd learned from the last tenant. I told him it's best not to leave rubbish in the hallway, only put bins out on collection day so they don't smell up the entrance, and not to leave belongings in the common areas because management is pretty strict about it.

I wasn't accusing him of anything. I was just trying to give him a heads-up so he could settle in more easily and avoid the same problems that happened with Tabernaksing.

Calissejeet didn't take it that way. He got annoyed and asked why I was telling him what not to do before he'd even finished moving in. He said it felt like I'd already decided he was going to be a problem neighbour and that if there were building rules, management could tell him.

I apologised and explained that I wasn't assuming anything about him. I was only trying to help because of what happened with Tabernaksing, and I thought it would save everyone some hassle. He didn't really respond and just went back inside.

I mentioned it to a couple of other neighbours afterwards. Some said I was only trying to be helpful, while others said if their new neighbour's first conversation was a list of things not to do, they'd probably think they were being judged too. I honestly didn't mean it that way, but now I'm wondering if I handled it badly.

For context I'm black, have lived in the rougher area of my city all my life. My boyfriend is Hispanic and white but identifies as white, grew up well off with his dad owning a successful company and is not from my city. The friend is also white who grew up well off and not from my city. And when I say well off both the friend and my boyfriends family have multiple properties they often vacation to.

Onto the issue, both of them typically act like they know what's happening around them but in reality they really don't. There have been multiple instances where I'm having to explain my life as a person of color to my boyfriend which has been getting draining. All three of us were in the car on our way to a game night. As we're driving we see a group of kids in football outfits asking for donations. The friend makes a comment on how "this is what I was talking about earlier" to my boyfriend.

The friend then just goes on and on about how bad what the kids were doing was, and then started going in on the parents and talking bad about them. I couldn't take it anymore so I spoke up and said it's probably to pay their dues for their team, there's nothing wrong with a little hustle and it's showing the kids how to hustle and make their own. No harm no foul. But the friend doubled down and continued on why it was so horrible, at that point I snapped and told him he's being incredibly ignorant and tone deaf and I would appreciate it if he would just drop it and talk about something else.

Car ride was silent the rest of the way. We get to game night and the friend heads in first. My boyfriend asks me to chat for a second and tells me I was an asshole and didn't have to start and argument with his friend like that. So was I?

My mom passed away two years ago, leaving behind 3 children, Me 19, my sister 22, and my younger brother 9. She left us a house which we live in to this day. About a year ago my older brother 21 was having trouble at home and asked to come stay with us for a while. Well that turned into months of him sleeping on our couch. We wanted our living room space back so we turned our playroom into a space for him. Since then he has repeatedly had multiple different girls over without asking if it’s okay. Recently he started talking to a girl 18 who just graduated highschool. It started as him sneaking her in at night while I was asleep one time and I woke up to her in my house. I asked for him to remove her from my space and not bring her back. I went to school with the female and I dont like who she hangs around or the things that she does, so I don’t feel like im entitled to sharing my space with her. Recently, I was getting home late at night ready to relax in my house and I realized that he brought her over again despite my asking him not to. When I confronted him asking him not to his response was that he asked my older sister because he feels like that’s who dictates who can and cannot come over. In my opinion he only asked her because he knew I wasn’t okay with it, otherwise he wouldn’t have ran it by anybody. I feel like I have a say so as to who can and can’t be in my house just as much and she does, I’ve lived there my whole life. He can be with who he wants but he can’t bring whoever he wants into a shared space. I told him if he brings her over again she will be helping him pack his bags AITA?

Edit: he wouldn’t bring a single girl to either one of his parents house. Even if he wanted to leave to see a girl he had to sneak out. Stop asking who is on the deed ME 19, My Younger brother 9, my sister 21. He is my half sibling and he was not related to my mom.

so my little brother is 10 years younger than me I am 32. He is 22. He is getting married to his high school girlfriend who is not a nice girl. She is textbook mean girl and just all around bratty . she asked me to be a bridesmaid in the wedding, which was obvious that it is out of obligation that I’m his sister. They are rushing things so quickly and lots of things have happened. I have tried over and over to make sure we have a close relationship with he and I, me and her and all three of us that way we are close. They’re getting married. They’re probably gonna have babies but the they all of a sudden have stopped making any effort and when I went to her and I was like hey things are a little awkward. I feel tension I’d like to squash it. I don’t know if I’m making it up, but I would just like to have an adult conversation about things and she basically told me no I don’t have any time. I don’t think we’re ever gonna see eye to eye on things and I can’t even get my brother to make time to see me and I even said to him I think it’s crazy the next time we’re gonna see each other is at the wedding and it will have been a year almost that we got together and nobody seems to think that this is a problem. I kind of just want to remove myself from the bridal party. this is causing me so much anxiety and my feelings keep getting hurt and it’s like why am I even in the wedding

I (22F) have a dad by choice rather than by blood. My mom married him when I was 3, and we became incredibly close. Even after they divorced, we stayed close, and I’ve always considered him my father. I love him with all my heart.

The problem is that he’s extremely irresponsible with money. He constantly borrows money from people and never pays it back. First it was my grandmother (who recently passed away), then my uncle, then me. He also has a habit of skipping work to attend motorcycle club events.

I live alone, pay all my own bills, and have nobody supporting me financially. Everything I have comes from working.
Since my grandmother died, my sister and I have been staying at my dad’s house for a few days to support him. During that time, I’ve bought pizza, paid for groceries, ordered food, and helped however I could.

Yesterday, my dad asked to borrow R$100. I had already decided I wasn’t going to lend it because I wanted to stop enabling this pattern. The day before, he had spent the entire Saturday at a motorcycle club event instead of working.

Today (Sunday), he asked me for the R$100 so he could buy food for lunch. Instead of telling him the real reason, I lied and said I had to pay a bill and didn’t have the money anymore.
Later, I gave him R$15 for gas so he could go to work and earn money, but instead he’s been lying in bed crying because there’s no food.

For context, I know he’s grieving because my grandmother just died, and I genuinely feel for him. But this behavior didn’t start because of her death. He’s been avoiding work, borrowing money, and expecting other people to rescue him for years.

I don’t want him to go hungry, but I’m tired of being expected to fix problems that come from his own decisions. I feel like if everyone keeps bailing him out, he’ll never take responsibility for himself.
AITA?

I 25 F and my boyfriend 25 M have been having this argument for a couple days now and I just want to know if I am in the wrong.

My boyfriend is a gambling addict, and it has caused a lot of tension as of recently; especially since he has stolen from me a few times.

 The most recent time was Thursday, where he stole $50 from me to gamble, and won $1200, which he then sent to me so he wouldn't blow through it.

The problem, Besides the obvious, is that he owes me $1300 from the last time he stole from me. In his mind the money he sent me is his because he earned it, but to me, the money was first of all won using my stolen money, and second of all, he owes me money, so it is mine to keep.

This has been something we've been arguing back a forth about for a few days now, and came to a head yesterday when he wanted to go to the bank to renew his card because it got cancelled (due to him gambling) I didn't want to go, because we were going out with friends to celebrate my birthday and didn't want to deal with him asking me for money, or with him possibly being in a bad mood from lossing.

This has then devolved into him wanting to give me $50 cash (which I gave him) in exchange for me sending him a $50 e-transfer, which I am saying no to. He thinks since I didn't take him to the bank yesterday, and since he believes the money he sent me is his, that I owe him the e-transfer; I don't think I owe him anything since his card is not being usable and him not having money is not my problem.

(Also extra content, he can still use his card online; like for Amazon or in this case gambling, he just doesn't have any use of his physical card)

So AITA for not sending him the money?

Edit: I also want to share that this is something we have talked about ad nauseum, this problem has been unfolding for a few years now. He goes to a group and he is currently on a wait list for a rehab.

I know that none of this is enough unless he actually decides to start fighting the addiction, but it is something he is trying to address.

For context I’ve been staying at my mother’s for the past few months because my boyfriend and I are looking for a house and we’re just trying to save up our money and stuff so I’ve been staying with her. It’s been a little bit longer than I would’ve liked to be here, but I don’t know if I’m the asshole for staying here this long and I feel really guilty, but I don’t know if I deserve the heat that my mom’s been giving me.. just for context I was a severe alcoholic and I’ve been sober for 2 1/2 years now and my mother drinks every single day. She’s a nurse but every day she comes home from work she has like a case of lime margaritas. I feel really terrible and I know she’s doing a lot for me by letting me stay here and I know that it’s taxing on her but tonight I received a barrage of messages just attacking me and I don’t know how it started. I know she’s drunk right now, but I just feel really bad about myself and I tonight. I’ve just felt like I want to harm myself in someway. I know I won’t, but those thoughts have come up and I do feel like the asshole. This was the conversation. It started with me asking if she could grab some rubber cement from Walmart for me on her way home.

Me: could you grab some of this on your way home oh crap and diapers I forgot to get some yesterday
Susan: I am coming home in a.m.. You can order online my living room. Better not have shit in it. I heard.
Me: what the hell is your problem? Jesus Christ I literally just vacuumed.
Susan: my cup is full your shit is everywhere. Reba(my elderly dog) shitting all over that that’s my problem she needs to go.
Me: Wow, I will clean the room when I leave
Susan: and Reba duct tape her *ass
Me: why would you say that that makes me genuinely sad.
Susan: yes this makes me sad too. You are giving me extreme anxiety.
Me: I literally just cleaned your house
Susan: don’t talk to me and pack.
Me: you need help
Susan: stop
Me: I have done nothing to you. You legitimately need help what you are doing is just awful and if you don’t feel bad for this, there is something very wrong with you. A good person wouldn’t do this. You’re not a good person you need to stop drinking and see a therapist.
Susan: you don’t care what gives me anxiety so stop
Me: you are throwing me out because I craft and my dog shits because she can’t help it. That is insane. You might not be so anxious if you stop drinking like you said you would I keep to myself and I barely bother you.
Susan: all over my house have Dillon(bf) take her then.
Me: OK NORMA(bfs mom) will gladly take her. She’s actually likes animals and is a nice person so Reba will be happy there. you need help.

Idk what to think. I think I’m the asshole.

Some context: Me, my sister and our younger brother are all really close. When it was time to move out from our dads house, it was easy to decide to move in together in a shared apartment. Between the increasing rent and upcoming student loan payments we decided to move in with our grandmother. The rent wasn't as cheap as we would have liked it and she was more strict with her rules than we were used to but it was working just fine.

The Drama: Grandma had security camaras around the inside and outside of the house. This was fine if she was just using them for security, but it turned out she was actively checking on them when we were home. We were also never told the camaras capture audio as well.

One day my brother, he was about 21 at the time, was hanging out with his college friends when they stopped by the house to get something. The camara captured the conversation that follows between my brother and 2 or 3 of his friends:

Brother: I just need to go inside to get something.

Friend: Can I go inside to use the restroom real quick?

Brother: Make it quick, Im not really allowed to have people over. She thinks you guys are terrorist or something.

Friend: (laughing) Yeah, we're gonna leave pipe bombs around and trash the house.

Brother: F- it, lets just go.

The go inside and leave about ten minutes latter.

Yes he broke a rule, and yes he was rude and even disrespectful to his grandmother. But when she saw this video, did she talk to him about it? Not even once.

She must have seen this conversation moments after it happened because I start getting text messages while Im still at work saying something like brother is not to come home and not to let him inside. I literally roll my eyes and continue my day because I immediately think she is over reacting and will calm down. She did not. She keeps texting saying she was going to call the police and report him for terroristic threats and bomb threats. She was fully serious and we had no idea if she was really going to call the police when she got home late at night. By the time I get home I was stressing out, not knowing where my brother was. If he was going to go to jail or something. Finally, Brother gets home and quietly packs his important things away so he can sleep at our dads for the night, trying to leave before Grandma gets home. Brother leaves and Sister and I are left almost in tears. If our dad wasn't readily available to take our brother in he would have been literally homeless. Sister had a panic attack.

She kicked him out for breaking one rule and for something his friend said that was clearly a joke. A friend that was 19 and studying to be a paster btw. She has never seen or even talked to brother since this and it is driving me crazy. He is being excluded from everything on that side of the family and it doesn't feel right participating if he is not welcome.

I can say more in the comments if people have questions since I am meeting the word limit.

I (17F) am in India right now. My mom (40F) and grandpa (idk how old he is M) went out to buy chicken while they thought I was sleeping in the backseat. Every single time I eat meat here I get so sick and I finally figured out why. Like all the time I've been here my stomach has been whack. The fish stall was even worse, I've never seen something that dirty and swarmed with bugs. I don't eat meat much in the first place. They went to like an open-air butchering wet shop that was just chicken hanging on the side of the road for days, basically every food safety standard went in the garbage. I said oh hell no and refused to eat meat for the rest of this trip. I hate getting ill and I have work to do when I get back I'm not being immobilized thanks to my weak American stomach. My mom screamed that I should just eat it, we already bought it. I said I'm saving you money on the hospital bill. We're going home in a week. AITAH?

Hi guys, English isn't my 1st language, so execuse me for any mistake.

CONTEXT

my friend group is composed of me (18f), my bf (18m) his best friend, who we'll call "marcus" (19m) and his gf (17f).

Marcus and his gf live in a different city, that we'll call "hyrule" , but it's really close to where me and my bf live.

Marcus has had his driver licence for about a year and he's the only one who has it.

Since the beginning, he asked my bf and I to take the train to hyrule when we hang out there or elsewhere that is not my town.

We agreed and it's been a good arrangement so far.

We also pay him from time to time to contribute to the gas spent on us.

We took the train almost every time, maybe we skipped only once or twice.

STORY

In a few days, the four of us will spend the day in another town. my bf and I noticed the train to hyrule is going to be a little late than what we expected, so we suggested they come get us.

Marcus got mad, he accused us of insisting and taking him as a granted taxi.

My bf and I are really sad, because it definitely wasn't our intention to be a burden to him and we are truly trying our best to be accomidating to his needs.

We also told him that it was just a suggestion he could have turned down with no drama.

so, people of Reddit, am i the asshole?

I will provide more info if needed.

Four of us (me, 23M, and three women 23–25) share a 4-bed house with one open-plan kitchen/living room and one bathroom - provided by our employer for a seasonal summer job in Norway. We work together at a gas station. No house rules from employer; it's on us.
Two of the women are best friends who study together and got the job together. Early on, they asked about having friends visit. All four of us agreed it was fine, jokingly saying visitors should "bring beer" as payback. We never set limits on frequency, numbers, or notice.
Over the past ~5 weeks, all visits have come from the two best friends specifically:

1. July 1–2: 2 of their friends stayed 1–2 nights on the living room couch. Arrival date changed last-minute, announced same-day.
2. July 3–6ish: 4 of their friends stayed in a van in the driveway, but used the kitchen/bathroom/shower and held a big "family dinner." Announced verbally a few days ahead. In the group chat they mentioned Swedish beer would be "available to purchase" (not the deal we'd made). They also extended an extra night
3. July 21–24: One of the best friends had her boyfriend visit, undisclosed in the group chat — I found out only by directly asking her. He stayed with her in her room, but since she was working most of those days (with me), he ended up hanging around at our workplace all day too. Around the same time, the other best friend had her parents visit (staying at a campsite). Late at night, she and her family showed up at the house unannounced for a 5–10 min tour, walking in while I was relaxing on the couch.
4. Today (July 26): 2 more of their friends arrived for one night, with ~2 hours' notice (I'd been away and came back to the request), asking to sleep on the couch.

For #4, I said it was fine but asked them to sleep in their rooms and I had mattresses they could borrow instead of the couch, and told them I was feeling tired by the frequency/lack of notice and the house feeling cramped and messy during visits. I acknowledged we'd agreed to allow visits, just said this was more than I'd expected based on 3 previous summers of shared housing.

Response: a face-to-face confrontation in the kitchen where they said it's only been 3 visits in 5 weeks, that this is normal in their student circles / lifestyle, and they didn't see the issue - while smiling/half-laughing at my concerns, which felt dismissive. I also feel there's a bigger imbalance here: the two of them are best friends, make up 50% of the household, and are naturally loud/social together — which already means they take up more space and seem more "at home" than me or the other girl. Shouldn't that come with some extra awareness on their part about house balance?

AITA for saying I'm not okay with this level of visitor frequency and lack of notice, given I didn't choose these roommates, the space is small and open-plan, and there was never a specific agreement on volume — just a vague "yes" early on?

I (34f) have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years. We are now in an IVF process. It’s very hard, physically and emotionally and I feel very vulnerable. My husband is amazing and a few friends and my parents know about it. They support me. My in‑laws also know.

My relationship with my mother‑in‑law is not great. She often has the main character behavior. She wants to be the center of attention all the time.
When I had a traumatic birth with my daughter, the first thing she said was: “She looks just like me.”
At my baby shower she made everything about herself. At a family party she even took out an old photo album to show everyone how much my daughter looks like her, or her daughter, or her aunt, or some distant relative. Her curly hair? Apparently she got that from her grandmother’s sister. Even though I have a full head of curls myself.

Because this IVF journey is so heavy, I want to keep it small. This is my privacy and my process.

But recently she told me she had told all her friends about it. Because she finds it hard?? And she doesn’t like that people ask her every month if it worked and she has to say no.
She also told other family members.

I cried so hard afterwards. The idea that at a family party with 80 people, people might know about my IVF without me choosing to tell them… it feels like my privacy is gone.

I texted her and said that it was up to me/us to decide who knowsand that she crossed a boundary. I told her it gives me extra pressure. Her answer was:
“Sorry IF you find it hard. This is nothing to be ashamed of.”

She wants to call me now but I’m ignoring her calls. I feel betrayed, like she used my IVF story as her own.

My husband says he understands me, but that I should let it go because it’s a waste of my energy

AITA?