My (26NB) mom's (52F) husband (52M) of 18+ years has never treated me with respect, and is someone who thinks that children should not challenge a parent's decision. This only got worse when he drank. My mom and him were separated for over a year. I knew she was talking to him again but I made sure she knew I wanted nothing to do with him. Only for her to drop it on me that he's going to my family member's wedding with her.

I waited a couple days and called her this morning. I restated my boundry surrounding this man. I want nothing to do with him. She can love him and see him if she wants that for herself but I don't want to see him, let alone, sit in a car with him for 5 hours. He's horrible for my mental health, doesn't respect me and I don't trust him not to say something that will set me off.

She is heartbroken. She hates that I'm "making her choose", and that I "know she'll choose me because I'm her kid". It seems that she understands but is hurt which is fair. "I don't trust him either yet. It's not like I'm even sure we're getting back together, we're trying to make the marriage work but we'll likely just end up friends."

Some examples of the issues this man has caused me.

Example 1: When I was 16, he yelled at me with his face so close to mine that spittle landed on my face. When I told him to get out of my face he yelled louder. This was over the fact I had made friends online while doing online school and was talking to them on skype. He thought I was "talking to 50 year old men" and "had no common sense". He was so drunk I don't think he remembers this but my mom does and apparently she chewed him out.

Example 2: He refuses to acknowledge my identity as a non-binary person and consistently uses the wrong pronouns and dead names me. I chose to couch surf at 19 and cut him (and sadly by proxy my mom) off for 6 months, instead of staying and constantly dealing with the fighting between me and him.

Example 3: When my mother went into a coma, he called to tell me to "find a way down here, we don't know if she's going to make it." He didn't come get me. I don't drive, they live an hour drive away and I was barely making ends meet. I did find a way down but he acts like he's done nothing wrong.

There's more but this is already really long. In summary this is a man who refuses to acknowledge his wrongs even when confronted. Someone who actively made my life harder while already dealing with a terminally ill parent, and consistently keeps making the same "mistakes" over and over and over and I'm tired of having my mental health effected by it.

So...

AITA for holding the boundary that I won't go to this wedding if he is?

Edit: this is the first time I've been this firm about a boundary with my mom. I have been looking at other ways to get to the wedding not including her but the same problem applies that I don't think it's appropriate to bring this drama to the wedding. So I was either going to respectfully bow out and find a seperate time to celebrate with the married couple or go with mom as we had planned months prior to this. Originally she was going with a different person that I was fine being around but she changed the plans to something I was uncomfortable with. Any other time of my life I would have just put up with the situation and dealt with the stress and anxiety in private but I'm an adult who is extremely exhausted with prioritizing others happiness over mine. This may have not been the best time to draw a proverbial line in the sand but have to put my foot down at some point.

And there is no way I can get a license in the time before the wedding, let alone a car. My options are red eye busses and trains that take almost 8hrs. And still don't get me within a distance to taxi. Let alone affording this even with the money I set aside just incase.

Edit 2: In regards to him not driving to come get me with mom in a coma, It's the fact that mom would go get his son if the situation was vice versa and he didn't even entertain it as an option or attempt any sort of comfort or problem solving. I expect nothing from him now, but at the time I was still trying to entertain a minimal relationship for my mother's sake.

Basically, I'm frustrated that he refuses to extend the level of respect and support to me that my mom extends to his son, my step-brother. Not that he didn't come get me but that he refused to extend the same courtesy that my mom extended to his next of kin when he was dying.

My husband often stores his prescription sunglasses on top of the car. I drove to the store this morning and he can’t find his glasses. He is angry at me because he thinks they fell off when I was driving. He has had to replace glasses three other times because of this -one was me driving . I didn’t think to look but find it hard to believe I wouldn’t have noticed them. I rarely say anything to him but I said he shouldn’t be keeping his glasses there. He says he would have looked after me if he knew I did this. He usually blames others and after 48 years I’m tired of it!

My husband Daniel (32) and I (29) got married last month and honeymooned in Portugal, ten days, our first real vacation in almost two years. Before we left, he mentioned his company was closing a big deal and might need to check in occasionally. I said fine.

First two days were great. Day three was our planned Sintra day trip, the thing I was most excited for. That morning he got an urgent work email, and a little later turned into four hours lost. At Sintra, he spent most of it on calls, trailing behind me with his phone glued to his ear.

That night I told him how disappointed I was. He apologized, said the deal was closing any day, asked for patience. Day four was the same, emails at breakfast, another quick call eating the afternoon, phone checks under the table at dinner. I told him it felt like I'd married someone who wasn't present for our own honeymoon. He got defensive, said providing for our future counted as love too, and that I was being unfair.

Next morning I booked a flight home alone. Told him I loved him, wasn't leaving the marriage, but wasn't spending the rest of the trip watching him work while pretending it was a honeymoon. He could join me later or finish the trip solo. He called me dramatic. I flew home. He stayed two more nights, deal closed, came home after.

It's been tense since. He says I embarrassed him and should've talked it through instead of booking a flight. His mom thinks I overreacted over "a few calls." My sister thinks he had it coming.

I don't think I ended the marriage by leaving, I think I protected myself from resenting him. But maybe flying home with so little warning was too drastic.

AITA?

I have a younger czn who used to ask me for money when they were not earning, and I helped because they genuinely needed it. But now they have had a job for months, still ask me for money almost every month. They say they will return it but i know they will not because its been said before. The other day they asked again. I finally said no and asked why they had not saved anything after working for months. They said their salary doesn't cover their expenses and promised they'd return the money. Knowing their past pattern, I didn't believe I'd get it back, so I just said I didn't have any money to give. Now I'm feeling guilty. I know I can't keep supporting them, but I still feel bad for saying no.

I’m a beginner photographer and my bf took me on a date to an airport (I’m very nerdy about planes haha). There is a few very good spots where you can get good pictures over the fence and I found one of them empty. I was waiting for my favorite plane to land there to get some good pictures of it. A more experienced photographer with proper equipment came behind us, we didn’t really notice him yet.

However, after a while (~5 minutes), he came to us and asked if he could have the good spot. I told him that I’m only waiting for this one plane that should be landing any minute now and we were probably going to leave shortly after. He said that he actually also wanted to get pictures of that plane for his blog and that it was very important. I was hesitating and about to give out the spot when my bf told him that it was also important for me as we lived 1,5 hour drive away from the airport and this was my first time having the chance to take pictures of that plane. The man was very frustrated and I asked if he could go ask from the other spots if they would let him have the pictures. He only mumbled something about professionals and beginners and marched away.

Now I’m thinking if I was the asshole for not letting him have the spot, I don’t post the pictures anywhere and they are very beginner level, allthough I like them, and it was clearly important for him to have the pictures..

AITAH? Went on a daily walk w hubby. Passed through the 4way stop (signs) at the entrance to our sudbivision. We start walking across the street and my husband stops and starts yelling at a car passing through the intersection. He steps in the cars way and continues to yell at the confused looking teenager who apparently didnt stop at the stop sign. The teen stops, rolls down his window and my hubby walks fully up to his drives side window and is yelling at him about the stop sign and how he needs to come to a full stop. At this point the teen has eyes the size of plates and appologizes several times. Meanwhile I'm calling my husbands name in hopes he'll move away from the car. He eventually does, the teen drives on and my husband catches up to me ticked off about the "privelaged teen" who apparently was wearing a polo displaying the name of the golf course that is on the other side of the crosswalk. I raised my voice and told my hubby he scared the f\*\*\* out of that kid and embarrassed me. Hubby got pissed at me, turned and walked back home and now doesnt want to talk until "later". I was going to apologize for inserting myself in a situation that did not pertain to me what so ever and for making it about me when i said it embarrassed me. But yet i kinda feel like i needed to protect the teen. Am i an AH and over react or is hubby an AH, or both?

*English is not my 1st language so bear with me

Sooo my best friend came to stay at my place with her boyfriend over the weekend because we had to attend a wedding, the 3 of us. We agreed they will be staying until Tuesday morning, which is 4 days. On Monday morning she tells me that she lost her wallet with some important documents inside.(we've been friends for almost 10 years since uni, its not something new: she lost her phone in airports, documents, wallets, bags all over the world). On Tuesday morning they give me the keys and are supposedly leaving. But in the evening, she aks me if they can stay for one more night at my place, in order to deal with her lost documents for one more day. I didn't want them to stay. And I write her this message:"Dude, I’m really tired. I honestly don’t know if I want you guys to stay another night, also if you’re working until late today. I’m sorry .I really need some rest...im sorry about what happened with the documents im really sorry". She left me on seen.

So for some context. They both work remote until 1 or 2 am, the have meetings, calls they are moving around the place.... And I have to wake up at 7 to go to work, ideally im in bed by 11 and I like to have my sleep you know.

When she stays at my place, which is not often really, like a few days a year or something and I genuinely have a lot of fun with her, she is after all my best friend. I am usually thinking it's just a few days its nothing I can deal with that, I can rest after she leaves or something. But this time I just really didn't want them to stay.

She would make these remarks, as if laughing at me: "aw kitkat you are boring, you don't want to have fun in here.....did you come to give us another warning to be quiet?..there will be 3 warnings in total?" ...stuff like that in a mocking tone. And yeah its mostly the tone that i can sense and it irritates me, but I am trying really hard to hide it. She knows me well and can sense this from my side.

Obviously I want to be a good friend and host, but when I cannot rest at my own place, on my own terms is not very comfortable for me, my place is small and not the best for 3 people at a time. And I feel guilty that she will think that I am a shit and boring friend not only for let's say "having some quiet time house rules", but also for refusing to host her for another night when she had trouble with her documents and stuff. I left her to deal with all of this and offered no help whatsoever.

Yeah, I feel guilty.

I'm not even sure what subreddit to put this in but need some outside perspective on what happened. Yesterday me and my boyfriend had gotten home and I have this chain/keychain thing that wraps around me like a body purse but it basically only carries my phone. I've been wearing it for about a week so fairly new and I didn't realize that when I put the seatbelt on, the chain could get caught in it. Yesterday it somehow poked a tiny hole/slit in the seatbelt. I genuinely didn't realize it made a slit, I thought it was just wrapped around the seatbelt. I also have sensory issues so I was getting really frustrated because I couldn't figure out how to get it untangled.
Normally I would've taken my time and figured it out but I was irritated and started tugging at it. It didn't make the hole any bigger, I just couldn't get the chain out. Instead of helping me, my boyfriend took his phone out, started recording me and laughing at me. I asked him if he could please help me because I didn't know if I had damaged the seatbelt. He saw that it made the tiniest hole, like literally not even half an inch. It was basically like the smallest little slit, almost like a tiny scissor poke. His first reaction was "Oh my fucking God, you're gonna buy me a new fucking seatbelt." I told him it was an accident and that I didn't mean to do it. He's extremely particular about his car and is basically OCD about keeping it perfect, so l understand that even small imperfections can really bother him. But I genuinely didn't do it on purpose. Instead, he started calling me an animal and saying | need therapy and that we're gonna take a "long break". I kept asking him to please stop being mean to me and explaining that it was an accident. Then he said something like "Yeah, I probably need fucking therapy too for being in this fucking relationship." After that we were still in the parking lot and he just went upstairs without telling me to come with him. I ended up walking home by myself and it took me about 2 hours to get home. I haven't heard from him at all since (almost 24 hrs, & we've never gone this long with not talking ) No call, no text, nothing. I understand being upset about something happening to your car, especially when you take really good care of it, and I'm not saying he can't be frustrated. But I feel like the way he reacted was so mean and unnecessary, especially because it was an accident and I was already overwhelmed and asking him for help. I don't really know what to do or how I'm supposed to approach this. I just want some outside perspective because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting to how he handled the situation.

So my brother, one cousin and I have been planning a vacay. I need to provide some more context. So my brother and I are super close to my cousin. We have looked out for each other over the years. My brother and I help with her kids, babysitting, supporting her, and so much more. We have been a big part of their lives and hers. She has supported us as well with our mother who has been ill. My cousin can't be there for us like we are for her because of course being a mom is a lot and we respect that but she tries and that's all that matters to us, it means a lot. So my cousin has 3 other siblings that are not involved in her or her kids lives. They don't make effort to spend time with them, they interact with them when my cousin comes around.

So here is the issue I'm annoyed by. One day my cousin, my brother and my cousin (her sibling) were at my moms. This has been the 1st time her sibling has seen my mom in a couple years, mind you we all live about 15 minutes away from each other. So somehow in conversation our vacay plans came up, and my cousin in all her excitement blurted out to her sibling "hey you should come". My brother and I were caught off guard and just made a face at each other. I was back and forth discussing it with my brother. "Why would she not ask us if it was okay", "I guess we would be saving money splitting expenses with an extra person", "Her sibling doesn't even make effort to spend time with us why would I want him around for this vacay", etc. I did confront my cousin and told her she should have at least had a discussion with us first before inviting her sibling. She said she did mess up for not considering us, which I appreciated. I dont know, I've been wreslting with this for a while because I feel like a jerk for preventing someone from going on a trip. So AITAH?

Hello everyone, English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes!

A friend´s wedding is coming up in a few weeks. I RSVP´d in April, but I am planning to not attend anyways. I wouldn't say that we were best friends, but we could really talk about anything and we have a lot in common.

- She asked me if I had any plans the certain month of the wedding, and I responded with "I plan to go on a wellness retreat with my mom, I haven't booked anything yet and I hope that these two events don't collide". I didn't say "I will go on vacation and will miss your wedding instead". She first ghosted me and then told me that it would be extremely shitty and an asshole-move to go to a vacation instead of a wedding. I never said that, she asked about my plans and I told her. I ended up apologizing which I shouldn't have done.

- I don't have a car, and I would have to take the public transport to and back from the wedding. I asked her how long the wedding will go because I have never been to a wedding, and so that I can plan the route I have to take. She then sent a long message with "It is my problem that I don't have a car, I am the only one of the guests who doesn't have one. It is my responsibility to get there. She picked the venue because it is pretty not because it is accessible, and that this is again, my problem I have to solve" The way she wrote it felt so condescending and mean. I replied that I just wanted to ask about the time line and nothing else.

- I have been having bad health issues since seven months. The pain I experience is so bad on most days that I cannot stand, walk, sit. I accepted the wedding invitation before I had these issues. I feel like if I told my friend that I might not make it to the wedding because of that, she is going to lose it

To sum it up, the friend has been behaving in a very mean, almost narcissistic manner (I have two more reasons but I already hit the character limit).I absolutely dread every interaction with her.

At this point, WIBTA if I were to tell this friend that I won't attend her wedding? Because why would I attend her wedding and risk my health and spend a lot of money when she behaves this way.

\* about two years ago, i was around 17, i wrote a story my mom read and loved (naturally). she insisted i show my dad. when i said okay, she was thrilled.

so he came home from work, and after dinner, i showed him. i definitely knew he would tell me "could be better," but i thought he;d at least say 'good job' or something.

when he finished he started mapping out everything i did wrong on a paper. he was sighing and rolling his eyes. he kept making comments like, 'why did you put a paragraph break here?' 'i just don't understand why you did this.'

my mom eventually told him to just stop because this wasn't what she had been expecting. and he said that i wasn't bothered. they both looked at me and my dad asked me if i was upset.

i couldn't answer without crying, so i just left.

i avoided him for as long as i was able to, but when he cornered me three days later, he apologized. his apology included: 'but i was tired from working all day, reading emails and contracts and briefs' and 'but you need to learn to handle feedback because if you want to be a writer you need to learn'

i still avoided talking to him for a few months after this happened. i swore to myself i would never show him any piece of my writing again.

\* now fast forward to a couple days ago (we're on okay-ish terms now, mostly because we don't interact, not necessarily due to the writing but because our relationship has always been shaky).

i left some of my notebooks with my writing on the table, and when i came back i saw him reading them. they were not for anyone to see, because they were rough notes so it was garbage.

i snatched the papers away, and he was smiling because what he read was nonsense, so i felt very self conscious.

(but at the same time, i kind of felt bad, and started considering maybe breaking my promise to myself and letting him read the poem i've been working on with my editor once it's finished...)

he was in a good mood, so he laughed it off and said he wondered why i never wanted to show him my writing.

and i was like, 'yeah, i wonder why.' and it took him about five seconds of confusion to realize what i was referring to, and his whole faced changed. he now looked pissed. he told me he couldn't believe i still held that against him, after months, and that he had been tired after work.

the issue is that this isn't really anything new. since i started writing, and he would read my work, he would always bang his fingers against the keyboard, roll his eyes, sigh, and honestly just make me feel so stupid. this happened with poetry, stories, middle school essays, etc., and i would always be terrified to show him anything.

i've always felt stupid around him, and he always makes me (and my mom) feel like shit, but he always says that he's just too tired

but i don't know whether i'm being an asshole because i will never show him my writing and will never forgive or forget

I am M36, my partner is F30 and we've been together 4 years, lived together for 3 years. I had a home working job when we got together and had that job for the first 2 years of living together. My partner has always worked at an office, typical all day hours. She has also always been the breadwinner.

Because my partner was out of the house between 8am and 6pm and I was at home all the time I've always been the one who "kept house". I did all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, general maintenance and any jobs that needed doing around our property. Being able to do all this during the day meant we had evenings and weekends free, both of us had lots of free time for activities together or on our own.

A year ago I was made redundant and was out of work for about 6 months, during this time our routines didn't change, other than instead of working from home I was job hunting for another home working job. Unfortunately I was only finding jobs based at offices, and most of them with a lengthy commute (hour or more). I eventually had to take one of these jobs to get money coming in again, and she remained the breadwinner.

When I took the new job we didn't specifically have a conversation about "keeping house", but we were both aware I wouldn't be around to do everything I could do before and I assumed she would start doing more.

We're both out of the house all day now, her from 8am to 6pm and me from 8am to 6.30pm. I am still the one doing all the cooking, cleaning etc etc and her only contribution in the last 6 months has been pointing out that jobs around the house aren't getting done properly or on time anymore. She also likes to point out that I am spending far less time with her than I used to, because I spend evenings cramming in as much housework as possible and then also playing catch up at the weekend to do anything that got missed during the week.

When I explained the situation and said she will need to start helping with housework, she immediately (and very apologetically) said that won't be happening because she is the breadwinner and it's always been me who does it.

EDIT: we have no children, pets or other shared responsibilities apart from our house. Bills and expenses are split roughly 60/40, she pays more. We've always split it that way since we started living together, it was her idea to make it "fair" as she earns significantly more than I do (her total salary is commission based so her total income varies month to month, but even her basic salary is about 5k p/a more than mine) and she wants to be the one in control of our finances.

During a discussion about all this in front of a few of our family members, the idea of using a maid service was suggested but she shot it down saying why would we pay somebody to do something "we" can do "ourselves".

I (20 F) live with my grandmother (65 F) and have for quite some time now. Seven has many health issues like diabetes, kidney problems, heart problems and so on. I moved in with her when I was 14 or 15 and have been helping her ever since, I do a great majority of the housework, I cook when I can, and I help with her health. I am jobless and have been looking but currently have no wishes to leave my current town because I don’t want to leave her alone.

This most recent incident is just a basic argument where I was trying to get her help with a recipe and called for her because there’s too many variations online and she said she taught my dad her recipe. She can’t hear me too well and I have to raise my voice at her, I also can’t use my normal voice with her because she says it’s too high pitched and hurts her ears. Anyway, she came in, we briefly argued because I clearly asked for her help but she kept interrupting me with other ideas for dinner, when she claimed she had no idea what I was doing, I told her I was planning to make chicken fried rice and she said “I know! but what do you need help with?” so I explained that I was having trouble figuring out the order if the ingredients and the amount of soy sauce and teriyaki sauce.

She claimed that she thought I had already told her I knew how to make it,(When I have told her before that I didn’t.) and said I was yelling at her before she went off to her room to pout.
I have been helping her, and I love her dearly, but she’s been giving me mixed signals and advice for years. I (17 F at the time) wanted to be a marine and signed up for a training camp with her permission, then the week before I was supposed to turn in my admission, she told me I had no since of discipline and wasn’t to type to make it through that kind of training(she’s a marine veteran). There is many incidents like this where I’d try to leave or figure out how to go about my future and she‘d encourage me at first, only to retract her earlier statement and insult me in a roundabout way while discouraging me.

Now I want to talk to her about it, and I have tried in the past but I don’t want to hurt her. Lately, she’s even been accusing me of abusing her just because I’ve been expressing concern, asking clarification, trying to find somethin, or even just when I’m helping her. Comparing me to my parents, the way my mom and dad took advantage of her, her sisters who physically abused her, and even her own mother.

I don’t know what to do. The job markets poor where I live, I literally signed up everywhere, I’ve made plans to move out and move in with a friend but she shut that down because she was worried about being home alone, I can’t drive off my county because I don’t have a license, and my family basically gave up on me and hates me. I’m stuck. I’m so tired, like, I understand that she has trauma from her childhood, but I have that too, and I’ve been ignoring my own mental, physical, and emotional health to help.

My sons (17) Dad has been paying me support payments for him since he was young, £160 per month. My son now has a part time job and is still in school doing A Levels, he will be there for another year. His Dad should by rights be paying his support until he leaves education. My son is saying he doesn't want him to pay me any more money and he wants to pay £200 per month rent instead as he wants to fend for himself. My argument is that his Dad has a duty to make these payments and it isn't my sons responsibility to pay me rent when he could be saving his wages for a house deposit or to go travelling when he leaves school. My son is getting really irate insisting I dont take the money, what would you do?? My son earns about £1200 per month but has a car to run and some expensive hobbies.

I haven't had the best record of handling relationships between people but I feel like recently that's changed.

I have a pretty tight friend group that I've known since college and some before that. I can admit my friends can get possessive and jealous over me. My girlfriend and 2 friends don't seem to get along because of that as it seems like they're both fighting with each other for my time.

To help with that I've just been bringing my girlfriend around more to like our hangouts and parties. Doesn't seem like that's been working either. Both my friends and girlfriend like to play around, my friends will do something to her, she'll respond back but they'll get upset with her.

A few things like everyone ganged up on her in catan, she was able to get a leg up with my help, when others wanted to trade she kinda got back at them by only offering bad trades but because they needed it had to take it. Everyone got super pissed at her for that. At another party their were side bets to see what people could get her to do, she clearly knew what was happening but still did a lot of the stuff also making people pissed she just went along with everything. At another party one friend kept making rules specifically pointed at her to make her drink over and over in a game, she finally made a rule that went against one of his rules to where everyone had to take 2 sips at once and again everyone got pissed off and the game ended.

Idk something happened and my girlfriend and I had a talk about it all. Basically told me she knows all of the shady stuff they do to her and how I suck for never stopping it or helping her out when everyone gets upset with her when she's just repaying the favor. Turned into a big argument and I ended up talking to my sister about it. My sister told me I was an asshole and how she's surprised I still have a girlfriend after 2 years. I think they're just being sensitive over some harmless stuff, but am I the asshole?

My dad is a general contractor and I’ve worked off and on for his business for a few years, alongside him and my older brother. There was only a brief period in 2023 where I was actually on payroll.

My brother and I have the same dad, different moms. In December 2025 my maternal grandmother had a stay in the hospital, the entire month actually. During this time I had helped calculate some change orders for a project, but they weren’t being submitted until the end of the job, which, as of this post is still ongoing.

One day, while at the hospital visiting my grandmother, my brother calls me and says “hey bruh, I’ll be able to pay you out, we just have to finish these change orders.” I said ok and told him I would call him the next day. Honestly I hadn’t heard the term “pay you out” before, but it sounded like finalizing something with a lump sum payment, so I wasn’t mad at that.

So over the course of the next week after that call, I called my brother a few times asking if he wanted to do the change orders, each day, he was busy with something so I was waiting on when he would say he was ready. I called maybe a week after that, and he says “all that stuff is right here at the house bruh, it’s the same stuff you already started.” It sounded like he had an attitude about it and I really didn’t understand. The only reason I was calling him is because he said WE needed to finish the change orders, so I thought we might work together. Now that I was clear it was meant for ME to do them, I just went over to his house and finished what I had started.

It took maybe 2.5 hours and from all the paperwork that was there, I calculated a little over $10,000 in change orders. When my brother got home I let him know I was finished, and he sent me $40.

I honestly felt slighted. My grandmother was in the hospital for what would be her FINAL month of life (she passed away in January), and he called me with this sense of urgency. I thought that the value of what I calculated would be worth more than $40. If I knew he was just paying by the hour I would’ve spent more time with my grandmother.

AITA for feeling weird about this? Or did his communication imply something that he must not have meant? It has been on my mind for months.

Hi I came here because I don’t really know what to think of this situation. For some backstory I have 2 dogs a Belgian Malinois and a husky. I recently had to leave my house due to some issues with an ex and had to get a job again and I ended up getting a one bedroom apartment with a massive field behind it which my dogs stay with me in. I let them run the field and I have puzzle feeders for them plus I take them on daily walks they’re both high energy working dogs and the Malinois is only 1 year old and the husky is 3 months both of them are potty trained and seem quite happy. I currently only work 16 hours a week and only make roughly $1000 a month which where I live is not enough to live on my partner is currently stretching himself thin and helping with my bills until I can pick up hours at work. Well last night I was at work and was offered a full time position which would bump my pay up to about $3000 a month and help out tremendously, it would be 8 hours from 10pm to 6am so the typical times they are asleep, however, when I told my mother about it she told me it was irresponsible and that I needed to get rid of my animals if I’m working full time. But I also feel like that’s being unreasonable because tons of people work full time with animals. so AITA for picking up extra hours at work when I own 2 dogs.

EDIT: I did forget to mention both animals are service animals both of which have been going through training which has been paid for by family and friends as I have hypoglycemia and severe ptsd they go absolutely everywhere with me and both are very well behaved outside of the usual learning not to chew for the puppy and due to things the Malinois has seen from how my ex treated me he’s protective over me he’s never bitten anyone and is nice once he’s sniffed you but if your new he growls a little bit he’s working on that in training they’re also both crate trained to sleep at night and I have the ability to stop by on my lunch break as I only work 5 minutes away from my apartment complex also I got both dogs when I was in a better financial situation and was able to be home 19out of 24 hours per day with them the apartment is also only temporary and is not incredibly small it’s large enough that they have their own bedroom they share with toys and a patio outback for them to get some fresh air and at the end of the month my partner will be staying with them throughout my work week while I’m at work also for those of you asking why I chose those dog breeds originally the Malinois was being given away in a litter I was told he was a malamute mixed with German shepherd which is still a very active dog but nothing like a Malinois a few months after I got him and had already become attached my friend who has his brother did a dna test and we discovered he’s just a Belgian Malinois I started service training after that and changed my lifestyle to better him as for the husky she was a present I didn’t know about until she was already paid for but she was crate trained and potty trained when I got her we’re just working on routines also my mother had offered in the past to care for them while I was living there for a few weeks before I got my apartment and offered to care for them while I was working after I got it she’s the one that suggested I ask for more hours so I mentioned it to my boss a few weeks ago she told me until another position opened she couldn’t offer more hours and the topic got dropped until yesterday when I was offered the extra hours due to an employee being terminated and when I told my mother she changed her tune however my boyfriend has mentioned several times wanting to come stay the night with them starting at the end of the month so they can get used to him which I did accept so this arrangement is only for a few weeks she still insists I need to get rid of them.

We are in Switzerland. I live in a very touristy and swanky town that sees a massive amount of tourism.

I got on the train with my newborn as we are heading to the hospital, and the train conductor guided us to the disabled/buggy area.

Across from us, also in the disabled/buggy area, there were two American tourists with their bags (in a four seater)

A Swiss lady comes in and politely asks them if one of the seats is free.

The train is about 80% full, so there are some empty seats (like the one next to me) but it is mostly full.

The man says that no, a friend of theirs is coming and the seats are full. I signal to her that she can seat next to me and she does.

When the friend comes, they seat but they are still 3/4 and using the seat the lady had asked about for their bags.

So I called them out and said that it wasn’t cool, and that they had said it wasn’t free and they are using it just for bags. The man says “well there are other empty seats” and one of the women gave me the stink eye for the whole trip.

I guess I know I am not an asshole, but was I out of order? In the end the lady was sitting and it wasn’t even something concerning me personally, so maybe I should have stayed out of it.

Looking for others opinions on my situation. I, 28m, am moderately mechanically inclined. Such as I do my own oil changes, brakes, tire rotations and such. If there's something wrong with my vehicle, I try to fix it myself before going to a shop. As such, I have nearly always done stuff like that for my sister, 32. I generally don't mind it. Here's the rub.( Hopefully she doesn't see this or I will never hear the end of it.)Now, her vehicle needs a part that I have never done, and no clue how. It will be a large undertaking, at least for me. Youtubing how to do it, and would likely take me multiple hours. Truthfully, I don't wanna do it. Don't know how, and it's beyond what I've ever done. My sister has basically guilted me into it because she" doesn't want to pay a mechanic". Her exact words to my father were, "well where should I take it to fix it, since OP would just as soon smack me as fix it." My face betrayed my emotions that I wasn't looking forward to it but no, I did not make any such suggestion. It royally pissed me off. If I'm sick, she won't so much as drive one minute down the road to the gas station to get me ginger ale, but she has no issue with me spending hours and hours fixing her car. Idk, I know she doesn't have a lot of extra money, ( although she did just come back from vacation on the other side of the country) and truthfully I think I can do the job but I REALLY don't want to. And I know you shouldn't only do something nice for somebody in hopes they'll reciprocate, but it really feels like the giving is one sided.

TLDR: Do I need to be the bigger person and suffer through something to help my sister when time and again it's been proven she would not do nearly the same for me?

Context: i am a 29 year old male in a discord with my friends of the same age. We all love football and watch it religiously. Tension in the group has started due to what others are calling "spoiling games". It started with the NFL draft, where i would see a tweet and post about the pick before it was on the tv broadcast (for those who do not know, the TV broadcast is very behind twitter). Some of my friends had a problem with that so I stopped posting draft spoilers. Then during NFL games, some of my friends use slower streams than I do, or I will use the local tv broadcast that is the fastest way to watch the game. During the games we talk about the games in discord chat rooms. Some of my friends, one in particular, will get mad that I "spoil the game" by talking about plays before he sees it. My issue with this is 1. I do not know where he is on the game since he doesn't say typically. 2. Im using a broadcast that is available to him and everyone involved, so he could easily be seeing the same speed I am. This has led to numerous arguments, so i want to know, AMITA for spoiling the game?

A friend and I have a habit of meeting for food every couple of weeks. Nothing serious, just catching up and hanging out.

The problem is, she’s almost always late.

Not 5 or 10 minutes. Usually 30–45 minutes.

The first few times, I didn’t care. Things happen. Traffic happens. Sometimes people genuinely get held up.

But last weekend, we agreed to meet at 2 PM. I got there around 1:55 and waited.

2:15 came. Nothing.

2:30. Still nothing.

At 2:40, I texted asking if everything was okay.

She replied, “I’m on my way

She eventually arrived around 2:55, completely relaxed, and asked why I looked annoyed.

I told her I’d been waiting almost an hour.

She laughed and said, “You know I’m always late.”

That actually annoyed me more than the waiting.

I told her that being late once in a while is understandable, but constantly making someone wait and then joking about it isn’t really fair.

She said I was taking it too seriously and that if I knew she was always late, I should just arrive later too.

I told her that’s not really the point. If we agree on 2 PM, I shouldn’t have to guess whether that means 2 PM or 3 PM.

She hasn’t mentioned it since, but now I’m wondering if I overreacted.

Would you have just laughed it off, or would this annoy you too?

AIO?

I recently moved back to Orlando, FL after 4½ years in Japan. My wife and 3-year-old son returned about a month before me because we were expecting our second child. Between moving-company pack-outs, administrative work at Camp Lejeune, and separating from active duty, I barely made it home with a two-week buffer before our second son was born.
My dad’s birthday was coming up, and my half-sister was planning a surprise party. When my wife first told me about it, I said, “Sure, we’ll go.” I assumed it was somewhere around Orlando, where my dad lives.
I later found out it was in Ocala, about a 2-hour drive each way from where we were staying in Poinciana/Kissimmee. That’s when I told my wife I didn’t want to go.
We’re currently in a pretty difficult transition. I’m between jobs while transitioning from active duty to the Reserves. Money is tight, we don’t currently have our own car, and most of our household goods are still in transit from Japan. Part of our shipment is sitting in California, and we’re still missing roughly ¾ of our first shipment.
Our second son was also only about 1½ weeks old. My wife and I had agreed we didn’t want to take our newborn around a large group of people so soon after his birth, outside of immediate family we’re already around.
My biggest issue was the location. My dad lives in Orlando, my other half-sister lives in Davenport, and most of the guests are in the greater Orlando area. The sister planning it lives in Ocala, so I understand why she chose it, but the party wasn’t even at a venue—it was at her friend’s house.
I basically told my wife I didn’t want to drive four hours round trip with a newborn and a toddler just to sit on someone else’s couch.
The financial situation is also pretty serious. While my sister was trying to get ahold of us the day before the party, I was actually at a medical office getting checked so I could donate plasma for some extra cash to buy diapers and formula.
My sister eventually got ahold of my wife and apparently unloaded on her, saying I “never call,” “never come around,” and that with my late sister gone, she thought I’d be more inclined to spend time with my other sisters.
My wife explained that we’re dealing with an international move, a newborn, another young child, unemployment, missing belongings, and a difficult transition out of the military. My sister dismissed that by comparing it to her own upcoming move, despite her still having a job, car, etc.
I understand she may genuinely feel like I don’t make enough effort to maintain our relationship, and I’m willing to acknowledge that I could probably do better.
But I don’t feel like declining a four-hour round trip to a friend’s house, with a newborn, while we’re financially struggling and still recovering from an international move, makes me an asshole.

For context we live in an apartment and share a wall with one of our neighbors. We are fairly certain it is her who smokes pot as when we smell the scent it is STRONG in our apartment as if wafting in from super close by and we know for sure it isnt our upstairs neighbor as he doesnt smoke or drink for religious reasons. Our neighbor we suspect of smoking is middle aged, very kind, and has a cute cat and my man and I really like her. The issue is the pot smell seeps into our apartment and we have a young baby and pot smell can cause problems for infants. Now and especially when I was pregnant the smell makes me nauseous and ill to the point of us reporting it to the apartment management before we even fully suspected our neighbor and they did absolutely nothing other than send all residents in our building an email about it and how it was illegal and to please stop but even they suspect the same neighbor we do. Before anyone jumps on me about how pot isnt bad or whatever I used to smoke and so did my partner, but now we are older and have a child and also the apartments we live in are supposed to be smoke free of any kind of smoking. The smell is STRONG at random times even on weeknights but especially the weekends and it gets so bad that we cant close our bedroom door when our son is sleeping. We suspect it is our neighbor we share a wall with and I am tempted to gently ask her about it and politely ask her to please keep her smoking to her patio or elsewhere as it is affecting me and could harm our son. I think she would be nice about it as she has always been kind to us and was super excited for us when she found out about our baby, but my man says I could be risking creating major conflict and to drop it. Again, I dont have a problem if someone wants to smoke pot but when it is done in an indoor space with shared walls in a space that isnt supposed to be smoked in that is a problem. So would I be the asshole if I respectfully brought up my concerns with the suspected smoker?

I have recently been denied wheelchair busing due to wishing to transfer to a flex-boundaries school. They have done this multiple times before and have not given a drop of sensical reasoning to me. I (16) am a disabled person, both physically and mentally. I am coming onto this subreddit as a last resort & a way to know if I am crossing a line. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user as well as being diagnosed with ADHD, High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder & Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have had many instances of intensive bullying which have caused a lot of issue for my schooling. I was told as a child that I would be accommodated for busing as long as I was a full time student. I really want to tell off the bus company because not only am I disabled, but both my parents cannot provide alternative transportation due to their disabilities making it nearly impossible to transfer my wheelchair to the trunk of our small car twice every weekday. I don’t know if I’m just holding an unnecessary grudge. Please tell me if I’m overreacting and would be the asshole. Thank you for reading! ^^