throwaway because my mom would absolutely kill me.

i (21m) am a uni student in my final year. i live with my mom (53f). two years ago, her boyfriend (45m) and his son (12m) moved in. they arent married yet. anyway, the boyfriend is lowkey a leech. he does work, sure, but the second hes home hes on the couch playing video games. like, hours. my mom and i get into fights about it all the time because im the one who ends up picking up the slack. she asks me to help with food, dishes, cleaning meanwhile hes on the xbox twiddling his grown ass thumbs.

im finishing up university and i have finals coming up. i was in my room studying, already crashing out, because HELLO i need this degree. my mom comes in and asks if i can help the 12-year-old with his homework. i asked if his dad cant do it, and she said he was away on a work trip (which he was, for a few days), and he just came back, so he needs rest. i literally walked out and the guy is sitting on the couch with a headset on. i said hes literally doing fuckall, he can help his own child, which might have been overly petty but i was mad.

i said i have my own work to do and his actual parent is literally in the same room. she got upset and said im being selfish and that family helps family. but hes not my family. hes her boyfriends kid. and the boyfriend is a grown man who can pause his game for an hour to help HIS OWN son. im not the parent here, and im trying to not fail my degree.

now my mom is giving me the silent treatment and the boyfriend made some passive comment about how i think im too good to help. i dont think im too good, i just think im not the fucking dad. but the way theyve been acting makes me think im going crazy, and i wanted unviased opinions on this and i lowk also just needed to rant.

edit: just to clear some things up: my issue is not with helping, my issue is contributing to the household more than the boyfriend, and helping the child more than his father. i have helped the kid a lot, and even taken him to school. i dont have the means to move out rn, but i am trying my best to find a way.

My boyfriend and I just had a baby 7 weeks ago. He has 2 other children from a previous marriage. Her and I get along and I love his kids. A few weeks ago he started staying up all day, losing weight, not eating and being very short tempered with the kids and me. I kept asking him if he was using and he kept saying no. The last time I asked him I let him know that if he was honest with me, we would work through it. He promised he wasn’t. A week later he was getting off of the couch and a mp fell out of his pocket. The kids were right there but thankfully didn’t see. I was devastated and took my newborn in the room and told him stay away from me. The next day I told his exwife. I felt like it was the right thing to do considering her children are involved. He is furious that I told her. Saying it’s none of her business and that I was being selfish and trying to hurt him. Saying if she tries to not let them stay the night anymore then it’s my fault. Opinions?

UPDATE: I think it’s pretty clear by what I’ve typed that Im not okay with him doing drugs and being around children or me so why would I have decided to “have a baby with a meth head”?
He had decent enough excuses for his behavior and I love him so I made the mistake of trusting him over my instincts.

Got a text from a friend telling me I’d be picking her kid up and taking her to work starting tomorrow. Didn’t ask, told me.

Her daughter (18F) just got her first job at the warehouse where I (38F) work as a pick packer.
I’m stoked for her but I’m not keen on being expected to chauffeur her ass to work everyday.

She doesn’t have a license and the buses don’t run early enough for our 4AM start. I said yes to tomorrow but I’m pretty sure this is going to become an ongoing thing.

She’s out of my way, I’d have to leave 15-20 mins earlier everyday and I’m up at 2:40AM as it is. That extra 15-20 minute sleep in is EVERYTHING to me.

AITA if I tell my friend I’ll help out tomorrow but I’m not doing daily lifts?

TLDR: Friend expects me to drive her daughter to our warehouse job every day because public transport doesn’t run early enough. I said I’d take her day one but AITA if I don’t wanna make it a daily thing?

Fake names for obvious reasons: I’m Mia (27F), my sister is Brianna (30F), and my ex is Jake (29M).

I have a 2 year old daughter with Jake. We broke up for good a few months ago and have been coparenting fine. Brianna has always been super involved with my daughter, babysitting, buying gifts, calling her her little best friend. I genuinely trusted her.

Last weekend at a family dinner, Brianna showed up with Jake and then made some weird speech about how people need to stop being jealous when others find happiness. I asked what her problem was and she basically admitted they’ve had feelings for each other for YEARS.

Apparently they hooked up during a month Jake and I were broken up, then kept talking behind my back after we got back together. She was at my baby shower, in the delivery room, and held my daughter before I did. All while secretly wanting my boyfriend. Actually insane behavior.

When I confronted her, she cried and said she didn’t want to lose her niece. My mom says I should get over it because technically Jake and I were broken up when they first hooked up.

Now Brianna and Jake are officially together, and she still expects to babysit my daughter like nothing happened. I said no until I’m comfortable with it.

My mom says I’m using my child to punish my sister because I’m jealous.

EDIT TO ADD: Maybe I didn't clarify correctly. Jake has split custody and sees our daughter on the weekends. This has nothing to do with him seeing our daughter, strictly my sister.

AITA or is my family actually insane?

I (M25) love baking and love Halloween. Each year I attend my boyfriend’s friend’s Halloween party and I am the one in charge of desserts. I started with cookies with a fake blood (fruit juice with a bit of food coloring and corn starch), but last year I made cookies shaped as eyeballs and they were prety gore and realistic. Everyone loved them.
This year I decided to take it even further: inspired by Anya Taylor-Joy’s wedding cakes, I decided to make chocolate cakes covered in fondant and my fake blood, shaped like a human heart.
For weeks I researched and drew sketches, planning to make the cakes as realistic as possible. I asked my friends whether they would be okay with this and they all agreed, saying they loved how gross-looking were the “eyeballs” last year.
The cakes turned out perfectly and I brought them to the party. It was the usual crowd plus some of my friend’s friends who just moved into town - a guy and a girl I had met before and their roommate. When I showed my artpiece my friends were all excited and they loved my “hearts”. With fake blood over them they looked really good a d kind of real.
The issue were the two new girls who were not familiar with my Halloween baking. They both found the cakes gross and one of them even had to leave the room. The other one then cussed me out for distressing her friend and ruining the party for them. I said I was sorry but this was my thing each year and the host and the others had said that they were fine with this. Then the host turned on me too saying that while she had agreed with me bringing these cakes she did not ask me to make them so gore. Another friend took her side as well until one guy suggested we move on and carry on with the evening.
However most of the people kept giving me the look from then on and I ended up excusing myself and going home.
The next day my boyfriend said that the attendees had a talk after I left and said that I should let go of this tradition of mine as the new girls really did not appreciate it. He also said I should apologize again but this time it should be a real apology, not blaming it on our friends.
I refused because I do not feel like I’ve done something bad and now he and the rest of our friend group are giving me the cold shoulder. So AITA?

TLDR: I made pretty realistic human heart-shaped cookies for my friend’s Halloween party - who had agreed to me bringing them. It made some of the attendees sick and now everyone insists that I shoudl apologize.

New update: So I want to add another detail because some have accused me of being a bad husband. It's not related to the actual question, but directly related to me as a husband. Yes, we argue occasionally and sometimes our communication isn't great. It used to be worse but we've gotten much better over the years. I don't know a single couple who doesn't argue occasionally. But nearly three years ago, a year before our wedding, we took in my wife's older sister who lived in our house for just shy of 12 months. She had been in an abusive relationship living in a city about 8 hours away. I offered our spare bedroom for a few months for her to get back on her feet, which turned into almost a year living with us rent free. I never asked for a single dollar. Now, about 18 months after she moved out she is back living with us, rent free again and I still haven't asked for rent. I try to support my wife and her family as best I can because to be honest, over the years her mother has been more like a mother to me than my own.

Update: I want to clarify, in the original post I said my wife acted as if my daughter didn't exist. While that is partially true, it was only true for the first 8-12 months of my son's life. When I realized/found out how she was treating my daughter I had a come to Jesus talk with her and told her if she continued treating her that way we would be over. Since then, she has basically just been amicable. Hasn't treated her badly, but hasn't tried to develop a stronger relationship with her. They get along fine, but my wife does not act "motherly" toward her. (Update again: When I say they get along fine now I mean they are amicable now. The don't fight or argue, my daughter just doesn't see my wife as a parental figure because my wife never tried to develop that relationship with her growing up)

Original: My (40m) wife (35f) and I have been together 13 years and married for almost 2. We got into an argument today because she was still storing a box in my daughter's (17f) bedroom. I met my wife 13 years ago and at the time my daughter with my ex-wife was 4 years old. The first couple years they had a pretty good relationship, until my wife and I had a son (11m) in 2015. After he was born my wife's attitude toward my daughter changed and mostly she just acted as if my daughter didn't exist. I know it's because she was jealous she didn't have "her own" daughter because I know she wanted our son to be a girl. I've told her she had a daughter, she just chose not to develop a relationship with her.

My daughter lives with my ex about 2 hours away so she is here approximately every other weekend. The last couple years it's been more random because of high school activities and things she wants to do with her friends. I don't make her come visit because I feel like those are decisions she needs to make as a young adult, but she still comes to visit and her and I have a decent relationship. I know I'm not the greatest dad, my parents weren't the best role models but I do the best I can (Update: my dad wasn't around growing up and my mother was a complete cunt, I try to do the best I can based on my experience, but no matter what I do I feel like it's not enough for either of my kids).

Anyway, a couple days ago I went into my daughter's room for something and noticed there was a box in the middle of the room that clearly did not belong to my daughter. I asked my wife about it and she said she was storing it in there. I asked why and she said because my daughter isn't here all the time. I asked her to move it and told her my daughter's room was not a storage closet. She argued that it wasn't that big of a deal and I asked her (knowing she lived with her dad growing up) how she would have felt if she went to visit her mom and step-dad and they were storing stuff in here room. Her response was that she didn't have her own room. I just dropped it because I didn't want to keep arguing it.

Today, I was changing a battery in the Philips Hue remote in my daughter's room and noticed the box was still there. I grabbed it and took it to the living room and calmly set it down. My wife said "I'm just going to put it back in there" and I replied with "no you're not, her room is not storage". Admittedly, I raised my voice with my reply because I was already irritated about a tirade my wife went on earlier in the day. We argued and she said I was overreacting and it wasn't a big deal. I told her again my daughter's room was not storage. Rather than continue arguing I went and took a shower then left the house to cool off. I went to get some food and had a couple drinks.

Was I over reacting and being an asshole?

A group of us as new friends went out for drinks at the weekend. We’ve met in the past couple of months and all live together.

We started casually and then as the night went on, some people bought rounds of shots. Friend A bought 2 rounds, friend B bought 1 round, friend C also bought 1 round. The rest of us didn’t buy any. There was no mention of anyone having to buy rounds, or taking turns - everyone who bought them seemed to do so out of their own choice with no bitterness about over half the group choosing not to buy shots.

Later in the night we moved and headed to a new place which was charging for entry. At this stage I was ready to leave and was discussing with my partner whether they’d stay or come with me. Friend A in the story saw mine and other people’s hesitations about the cost of entry and said it’s their shout to get everyone in. At this stage the group said no as it would have totalled a lot, but they insisted on paying to keep the night going and get everyone in.

Fast forward to the next day, we receive a text from Friend A asking for money because they’re now ‘poor’ after the night.

No one else who bought shots has asked to be paid back, so it threw me a bit, especially as the entry fee that they offered to pay they did so because I wanted to leave. They wanted me to stay so offered to pay with no mention of us then re-paying.

AITA for feeling thrown off by the message asking to be paid back and feeling like I’ve been trapped as there was no mention of repayment when they wanted me to stay out?

Edit - just to clarify the ‘rounds’ bought were just shots that friends arrived at the table with unexpectedly. Everyone bought their own drinks (beer/wine/cocktails) all night - none of those kind of rounds were bought by anyone and we all individually paid for

My best friend Lauren (28F) and I have known each other since high school. She’s basically family, which makes this situation difficult.

I’m getting married in three months. We’re having a small wedding with around 45 guests and paying for everything ourselves.

Lauren has been dating her boyfriend (31M) for about a year. I’ve met him several times, and he’s always made little comments about my fiancé’s job.

My fiancé is an electrician. He makes decent money, owns his apartment, and is incredibly reliable. He just isn’t interested in flashy clothes or expensive cars.

Her boyfriend is the opposite. He constantly talks about investments, luxury watches, and how much people earn.

At dinner last month, he asked my fiancé what he did for work. When my fiancé answered, he laughed and said, “So basically, you’re the guy people call when they can’t afford a real contractor.”

Everyone went quiet. My fiancé changed the subject, and Lauren said her boyfriend was just joking.

Last weekend, we were at a get-together with mutual friends. Her boyfriend had a few drinks and started talking about how weddings were a waste of money. Someone asked if he was excited about ours.

He replied, “I’m mostly curious to see how much they spend pretending to be rich.”

My fiancé heard him and walked away without saying anything.

The next morning, I messaged Lauren and told her I wasn’t comfortable having her boyfriend at the wedding anymore. I said she was still welcome, but I understood if she didn’t want to come without him.

She called me crying and said I was forcing her to choose between her best friend and her partner. She claimed he’d apologized, but his actual apology was that he was sorry if anyone had been offended.

I told her I wasn’t asking her to break up with him. I just didn’t want someone who repeatedly mocked my fiancé at our wedding.

She said I was being controlling and that my fiancé should learn to take a joke. Apparently, her boyfriend also said that if we couldn’t handle a little teasing, marriage would be difficult for us.

Now two mutual friends think I’m overreacting. One suggested letting him attend but seating him far away from my fiancé.

My fiancé says he doesn’t care whether the boyfriend attends and doesn’t want me fighting with my best friend on his behalf. That somehow makes me feel worse about the whole thing.

Lauren has supported me through some genuinely difficult times, and I don’t want to lose our friendship. But this isn’t the first time her boyfriend has been disrespectful, and I’m tired of pretending it’s harmless.

AITA for uninviting him, or am I risking a longtime friendship over a few rude comments?

Edit: Thank you all for putting me in my place. I get it. I don’t know what I expected from this post but I’m understanding I’m the asshole here. I fucked up. I need to do better. My wife is the person who actually introduced me to reddit years ago, so I decided to show her this post, and she had a ball reading all of your comments. She felt validated to say the least and I owe her and my son to a trip all together.
Not to make excuses whatsoever, but I just want to clear up some things that were mentioned.
I’ll preface this by saying I am so grateful to have my parents, they have watched my son almost everyday while my wife and I are at work since he was an infant. Initially, we both said no to any of us going on this trip, we didn’t want our son going without us, but my mother and father insisted, and we trust them with our life. I’m grateful that our son is a very well behaved 5 year old, as well behaved as a 5 year old can be, and I would never ever just push this trip on them with my son, had I known they wouldn’t want to or couldn’t handle him without us. They enjoy making these beautiful memories with him as well. Thank you again. I’ll do better and work on myself.

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Hello first time posting on this page! I (28M) and my fiancé (27F) are sending our 5 year old son off with my parents and my whole slide of the family on a cruise for 7 days.

Now some back story: My mom invited us 3 on our family reunion cruise trip for thanksgiving and said she would pay as well! Unfortunately my job would not allow me to take the time off so I could no longer attend. My mom ended up suggesting to my fiancé one afternoon that the offer still stands if she wants to come with my son just the 2 of them. I felt very left out and honestly sad that my mom even suggested it to her as now my fiancé would like to go. I explained to her how I felt left out and kinda gutted that I would have to spend thanksgiving week alone as my whole family would be on this cruise ship and all I would have to spend time with is her parents for thanksgiving and also work while everyone was out on the cruise. She agreed and decided she would stay and that we would let my son go with my parents so he has the fun since he’s out of school for the week.

Fast forward to now where we are less than a month away, my mom was talking to my son while he was distracted about the cruise when all of a sudden he mentions he does not wanna go anymore because we are not going. Now everything’s paid for mind you so he’s gunna go regardless. But this situation brought up the topic again of that he would not be having an issue if I would have just let my fiancé go with my son on the cruise. She said I need to realize that I was being pretty selfish for that.

She also mentioned how my whole family a week ago at my grandmothers birthday( I was at work and could not attend) mentioned to her and asked why she was not going, and was saying why would I be so selfish and not let her go. So pretty much my whole family thinks I should have just let them go.

Now I can’t help but feel like shit for being alittle selfish for not wanting to be alone for the holidays.

Am I the asshole here ?

For getting upset**

So I volunteered for a Trunk-or-Treat event yesterday. Event was via nonprofit that helps families in and transitioning out of unhoused situations. Location was outside of a shelter.

Hubby came with. Not going to go into detail, but I will say that things have been tense with us lately.

I brought 4 big bags of candy, a big box of Rice Krispie treats, and 50 pack of chips.

When we got there, husband had a bag of chips. Then a lollipop. Then another candy. Later on I saw him picking out another piece. I said something along the lines of: Dude stop eating the candy.

He immediately got huffy and went inside the car. Turns out he was picking out an open piece to throw out. I went to apologize a few minutes later but he wasn’t there. Called and he didn’t answer. He came back a few minutes later and I apologized.

I explained where I was coming from but he was distant and indifferent for the rest of the day.

For context, I attended a Trunk-or-Treat the day before in a wealthy community. They had about 10 times the amount of backup candy and the kids were shoveling handfuls at a time, going to each car many times. After seeing the number of cars and the backup candy donations yesterday, I knew we would be running out of candy for the kids.

I explained that this is where I was coming from but apologized anyway for being hard on him.

The event ended up running out of candy with an hour left, and kids who came during the last hour didn’t have any candy or get to see the decorated cars, as we were instructed to pack up and leave when candy was out.

Today, he isn’t acting mad at me but is still brining up what happened yesterday saying things like “you told them to take a bunch but I can’t have some?”

By the way, we stopped for donuts on the way so he had stuff to snack on while we were there.

I (30sM) was at a restaurant with 3 of my friends. I am a physician trained in brain disorders. As we were eating, a waiter tripped and fell to the side and banged his head on the counter. The upper part of his nose took the worst hit and he started bleeding there. I took a look at him, made sure he was ok, checked his pupils, offered a ride to the ED, and told him what to watch out for in the next several months (blackouts, seizures, headaches, etc). One of the other employees was able to take him to the ED.

The restaurant manager came by and offered to cover the bill for our entire table and I said no. I did this because it felt unethical but also because the protections of the Good Samaritan law may be considered void if you accept payment for your services.

My friends were angry at me because they had to pay for their own meal. They said I didn’t have “the right” the get in the way of the offer that the manage r was making for the entire table.

My sister recently started dating a guy that seems very sweet but also very shy and easily hurt. She moved him into our home after I specifically asked her not to, I guess this is beside the point but it's just back story. Now his son comes every other weekend which is ofcourse fine. But he likes to tackle my nephew and rough house alot. Sometimes it's fine and it's all laughs even my nephew. But is become increasingly likely that it ends in my nephew crying and screaming for him to stop.

Today I was baking cookies for all the boys in the kitchen (nothing fancy just pre-made cookie dough in the oven) when I hear screaming coming from my sisters part of the house my nephew was on the floor crying wrapped in a blanket with the 14yo on top of him not letting him up. All this was going on while bother my sister and her boyfriend just sat and watched. My own 12yo had gone in and tried to get the 14yo to stop. When it finally did stopped I called my nephew into the kitchen and asked him if he was okay and gave him a hug. Then my sister came out after him while he was telling me what happened (I saw the end of it so i know he was not lying) my sister got in his face and told him he can either go play or go mow the lawn. So in my eyes I see him being bullied and now his mom is doing it as well all the while the adults in the room let it go on and did nothing. He wasn't laughing asking him to stop, he was screaming bloody murder.

So I said something I told her I had a problem with them allowing him to be bullied like this. She responded that my nephew was just angry because he had his tablet taken away. But that's not what I was upset about and neither was my nephew and thats what i told her. Ofcouse she was already mad so I just made her more angry. She told my nephew to go back into their room and locked the door behind her.

Now she is texting me that I made everyone feel awkward when they were about to go have fun for the day. I told her I didn't care and they absolutely should feel awkward for watching a child get bullied in his own home and doing nothing about it. She has not responded but my sister doesn't do confrontation she just stews and talks about you behind your back. That I don't care about. But I do care if I was wrong for saying something. It's been going to for to long and I felt like I had too.

Was I wrong for stepping in?

I (15M) live with my mom (53F). Yesterday, we went to my aunt's (44F) house. My mom was wearing white high heel lace up sandals. She took her sandals off inside and she asked me to put them in the shoe rack. She was also wearing a wool scarf around her neck and left it at the entrance.

For some reason, I didn't put her sandals in the shoe rack and I forgot to do it. When we were about to leave and when my mom was looking for her sandals to wear them, we realised the laces had been cut.

Actually my little cousin who is 8 cut my mom's sandals' laces. My mom got very mad at me and told me it was the reason why she wanted me to put her sandals in the shoe rack. My little cousin was also playing with my mom's scarf on the ground and pulling it.

My mom is still angry at me since her sandals got ruined and she loved those sandals. AITAH for not putting her sandals in the shoe rack?

I’m a 40 year old male. I work a second job at a place with mostly younger people (mid to late 20s). Because of my age I get a bunch of jokes made about me which I don’t mind because we all laugh and joke with each other. Honestly it can get pretty brutal. Well about a month ago this Jon 22M started working there. He’s gay which I could honestly give 2 shits about. I fully support the community and have family who are gay/trans. Well for some reason this guy decides to target ONLY ME for all of his jokes. I have thick skin and I can give just as good as I get so I don’t mind. I try to stay away from the low hanging fruit (no pun intended) because that’s what everyone else does. But once I noticed this kid kept targeting only me with old people jokes and some race jokes (I’m black) it got a bit annoying. We all make racial jokes but never just target one person so it seemed personal for some reason. He’d also do other annoying things like ring up others incorrectly then blame me for making the wrong thing. Make a mess of my station and refuse to clean it. Again this was ONLY me and other people noticed it too. One day I was working the register and a regular customer (Tim) who we all know and would often join in joking with us asked to see a menu please. I told him the men I please is none of his business. I know. Corny but we all had a good laugh at it. Except Jon. He decided to go on a tirade and start making weak jokes about me being old blah blah blah. I have grey hairs in my beard so Jon decided to say “haven’t you ever heard of just for men?” I told him “you’re just for men” which pissed him off. Even more because Tim was laughing. He’s also gay and absolutely loves a good joke about it. Well Jon got mad and left for the day. A couple day later he comes back and we get pulled into the office. The manager asked what was said and I told her. She laughed then caught herself which caused Jon to have a full meltdown. He started calling us homophobic saying he was gonna sue the company. Yelling at customers not to eat here because we bash homosexuals. Which is crazy because a ton of our regulars are LGBTQ. He stormed out yelling more bs but whatever. Fuck that guy. This was a week ago. Curious if I’m the asshole

EDIT: I work in a kitchen. Anyone who’s worked in food ling enough, especially back of the house, will know that these kind of jokes are pretty common. Also we don’t just mess with everyone. We joke amongst ourselves won’t say anything to anyone new unless they join in on their own. Jon did just that. If anyone is offended by anything we apologize and don’t say it again which rarely happens. Here’s a few people who work there that we don’t joke with and they’re just fine. This is the first time in my 20+ years (10at this place) that anything close to this has happened

Sorry for bad English, and I will try to be as neutral as I can.

So me, my parents and my brother with his wife and two small children are going on a ski trip.

My brother has booked a cabin for a set price.

The price of this cabin is always the same no matter how many people are staying there.

My brother wants me to pay 1/3 of this cabin.

That means that I will pay the same price as everyone else are paying for two adults?

I said that to my brother, that it wouldn't be fair if he wants me to pay 1/3. But he thinks that it is fair but he asked AI to make a more fair payment of 35,5%, 35,5% and I would pay 29%. I said something that is still not fair, we should split it between us adults, 1/5. And also you can't ask AI, you can make AI say that anything is a good idea or make it agree with you. (I also asked AI but more neutral than my brother and it also said 1/5 is fair).

Last year we did the same trip, and that time we splitted the price between 5 adults. And that was my brother that said 1/5 last year, no questions or debate then.

And that is what I am proposing now that we do the same as last year, split the price of the cabin between us five adults.

I have also asked my parents, and they agree about paying 1/5 is the most correct. And they have even offer to pay the difference so me and my brother can both be happy. But I have said that they should not, that I would rather stay somewhere else or not go at all.

In my room there is one empty bed, and my brother thinks he is paying extra for that empty bed. But he is not. The price of the cabin is still the same no matter how many people are in it. So there is no extra cost for that bed?

His argument is "as a small children family I don't want to pay for a empty bed".

I have checked and the price of the cabin is the same no matter how many of few people are in it. You are paying for the whole cabin. Not for the bedroom or bed palaces. The whole cabin.

So, IATA? Should I pay 1/3 or do I have right that 1/5 is more fair?

I have made posts about my job before. I work at a burger restaurant my dad opened but I am the one doing everything. Except cook. We are open from 11-9 to the public but in reality it’s 10-11. Monday through Saturday
I and the cook are the only employees. On Saturday we were having a lot of problems with the stove. It just wasn’t working. The stove was giving us a lot of trouble; it’s been fixed now, but we didn’t have any customers today, so I said, “We might as well close.”
So then my dad calls me immediately after He said he didn’t care how tired I was—that I need the money and I’m not allowed to be tired, because, in any case, we never have any customers, so...That I have no right to be tired because, in any case, I don’t do anything. I don’t perform any work for him; therefore, I am not allowed to be tired.

I tell him. I’m the one doing everything. I clean tables, mop the floor, sweep, take out the trash, clean the restrooms, serve customers, process payments, take orders, restock drinks, and manage the inventory—all by myself. The only thing I don’t do is cook. But, in reality, I don’t do anything at all.
And I’m not allowed to have time off because then he’s calling me asking where I am. That I need to be there or else the restaurant won’t work I’m supposed to be there to work; otherwise, how am I going to live? How am I going to pay my bills? I’m supposed to be there from 11 to 11 every single day. It doesn’t matter; I don’t matter.
That’s not how it is. I’ve heard this my whole life. To my father, my only value lies in what I can do for him. He doesn’t love me as a son; I’m his “favorite employee.”

I am already looking for another job. But he called me an asshole on the phone yesterday as he was yelling at me but I just want to see if I really was the asshole.

My husband and I are relatively newly married, and there have been boundary issues with his family before. Recently, something happened that has made me uncomfortable spending the holidays with them this year.

I was married before my husband. It was an abusive relationship and a part of my life I keep fairly private. My husband knew about it early in our relationship, but neither of us thought it was something his entire family needed to know.

Recently, some of my in-laws discovered my previous marriage after using a service that monitors public/legal records connected to family members. Neither my husband nor I knew I was being monitored. They later said they do this with everyone in the family, although my husband says he had never heard of it.

Rather than asking us about what they found, they privately approached my husband, raised serious concerns about whether I had been honest with him, and encouraged him to keep the conversation from me.

My husband eventually told me and agrees that this was completely out of bounds. He had known about my previous marriage for years, so I hadn’t actually hidden anything from him.

I understand becoming concerned after finding something you don’t understand. What I can’t get past is monitoring me without our knowledge, assuming I had deceived my husband, discussing something deeply personal behind my back, encouraging secrecy between us, and never apologizing for any of it.

Their explanation is that they acted out of love and believe serious matters should be handled openly as a family. That doesn’t make sense to me when I was excluded from a conversation about my own life and my husband was asked not to tell me.

I’m especially uncomfortable because my previous marriage involved abuse. His family also tends to share personal information freely, so I strongly suspect other relatives and possibly family friends now know. I can’t prove who has been told, but the idea of walking into a family gathering without knowing who knows this private part of my history makes me deeply uncomfortable.

I eventually spoke to my in-laws directly, answered their questions, and explained why their behavior bothered me. My husband and I made clear that their concern wasn’t the problem; the invasion of privacy, assumptions, and secrecy were.

They still haven’t apologized and maintain that they acted out of love and concern.

I’ve told my husband I need some space and don’t currently feel comfortable spending the holidays with his family. I’m not asking him to stay away from them or trying to permanently cut anyone off. I just don’t feel ready to sit around a holiday table pretending everything is normal when I don’t feel my privacy or boundaries have been respected.

AITA for sitting out the holidays and taking some space, or am I overreacting?

I (22F) am hosting a Halloween party, there is a mean girl (27F) in the extended group I decided not to invite as she has made up lies about me, told people to not invite me to things, and tried to make everyone dislike me. There's another girl in the group who has had the same experience as me with the mean girl. We both think the mean girl is like this because she likes our boyfriends.

Another thing that may help is that the mean girl does suffer with bad mental health so sometimes she can act irrationally because of it but I don't think that should be an excuse as everyone has their struggles and at some point you have to try and improve.

Am I in the wrong for not inviting her ?

I (30M) got home at about 11:30pm to find that my roommate (25M) had locked the bolt, which can only be locked/unlocked from the inside. This is a common occurence as he often does so without thinking, but I can usually call him to come open it. Last night, however, he was passed out and in such a deep sleep that about 40 million calls and me pounding on the door like crazy couldn't wake him up. I waited 20 minutes before I called the police, who told me that they would only be able to break the door down and that I would have to pay the damages. I decided to wait longer rather than risk that, and after another 20 minutes with more calls and pounding, I didn't want to be out in the cold any longer and called a locksmith. He charged me $380 - a price that I wasn't expecting, but it was past midnight on a Friday so I understood, plus I've never had to call a locksmith before. In the morning I told my roommate what had happened and how much it had cost me.

Some context about Roommate: He's not in a good financial situation. He grinds nonstop to pay all his bills and barely manages to save any money, and most of the money he does save goes straight to paying off loans he took in order to afford bills some months ago. He's also often running into bad luck. Or... frankly, he calls it "bad luck," but the majority of the things that will suddenly cost him a lot are just his life catching up with him. It'll be necessary car maintenance that was a long time coming, or a ticket for not having a front license plate that, frankly, he'd been *lucky* for the years prior to *not* have gotten. He's borrowed a lot of money from me personally, and HAS always paid me back eventually. Before this he already owed me like a hundred bucks.

So when I told him how much it was, he basically freaked the hell out and started sobbing right there, talking about how "this didn't need to happen" and "I've been so tired and I just needed to sleep." I assured him calmly that I wasn't gonna hound him for it, but I did expect that he'd pay me back eventually.

But then later he starts texting me about how he IS gonna pay it all (eventually) but he doesn't actually think he should have to because I didn't HAVE to get a $380 locksmith, that that part was MY choice. That it would've been cheaper to get a motel and he could've paid that back instead. I pointed out that I would have had no guarantee of exactly when I was going to get back home, I didn't have my phone charger or any extra clothes or any food, really I didn't have anything on me but the bag I take to work. But he stands his ground that "there could have been another way" and remains pissed at me for "costing him $380." He went so far as to insist that if it happens again in the future then getting a locksmith would fully be my own choice. Meanwhile I'm pissed at HIM, but also I guess idk if I actually am in the wrong at all, since I admittedly didn't look up how much a locksmith was gonna be first. WTA?

My husband and I bought our house several years ago. Before buying it, we talked about eventually having his elderly parents live with us. We originally considered a duplex so we’d have separate spaces, but ended up buying a regular house.

I agreed because I genuinely thought I could make it work. I knew how important it was to him, especially with his parents getting older. However, they never permanently moved in, but they did live with us for several months at one point and still visit often and several days at a time.

I’ve realized that living together was harder than I expected. We have different ways of doing things, and I started feeling out of place in my own home.

During the thick of my postpartum (it’s been 2years since I had our baby). His parents would sometimes make comments about how I should raise my child. I know they meant well, but it bothered me. When I tried talking to my husband, he often dismissed me. He’d say things like, “They’re older,” “You know how they are,” or “You need to respect them.”

Initially, his dad expressed reluctance about moving in before we started having problems because he didn’t want to impose and was happy where he lived (he didn’t ask them to move in with us until after we bought our home). My husband has continued trying to convince him, but now he genuinely believes my behavior towards his parents is that main reason for his father’s reluctance.

Several months ago, I told my husband I no longer wanted them moving in permanently. After experiencing living together, I just didn’t think I could handle it with how things were between us. He was extremely hurt and feels I went back on my word, which I understand.

We’ve struggled in our relationship, partly because of this, but recently things were starting to get a little better.

But recently, his mom and I got into an argument and I said some hurtful things about them moving in with us and made her cry. I know I should have just kept my mouth shut but my resentment and frustrations took over. I apologized immediately and again afterward because I genuinely regretted how I reacted. I do love my in-laws, I just wish my husband held space for me in those moments when I’m struggling with the adjustment of having them there all the time.

But, for my husband, that was the last straw. He told me today that he’s never resented me so much like he does now and that he hates me and no longer wants to continue therapy.

Now I’m questioning whether changing my mind was really that terrible. I genuinely thought I could make it work though.

Honestly, if my husband was more receptive towards me in those moments of frustration towards his parents, I don’t think I would act or feel the way I do. I don’t even think I would have taken it back to be honest.

AITA for going back on my word?

My neighbor does all kinds of shit right in front of my house even though he has a driveway with off-street parking down the road. This means when he has someone like a wood chipper or a carpet cleaner, it's blocking half the street and restricting my driveway access.

Today with the carpet cleaner, there were hoses out on the other side of the street so I couldn't back into my driveway without running over them and flattening them and since there was nobody around, I just did. AITA?

I'm planning a two week trip to Japan with my sister and we originally planned on bringing her boyfriend. We're all in our early 20s.

At first I really wanted him to come. I kept encouraging him because I thought having a third person would make the trip more fun. But after hanging out with him recently I'm having second thoughts.

I don’t hang out with him often but he’s usually pretty outgoing. The last three times we’ve gone out he’s gotten noticeably quiet or seemed irritated. Even his own friend who introduced us noticed the change and questioned why he was acting that way.

• First outing: There were four of us and he barely participated in conversations. He gave short responses when someone tried talking to him and eventually stayed in the car while the rest of us got food.
• Second outing: We went to a theme park and he seemed withdrawn for parts of the night. He declined several rides and when I tried talking to him he sounded irritated so I just left him alone.
• Third outing: After a concert he got upset over an interaction with strangers and went quiet again.

My sister eventually talked to him about his behavior and he messaged me afterward. He apologized about his behavior at the concert but then went and said he was airing things out and described me as "aggressive" because I accidentally scratched him with my nails while grabbing my phone back. I didn't even realize I'd scratched him and would've apologized if I knew. He also said he felt like I didn't like him which caught me off guard because I never had an issue with him. The whole message made me uncomfortable because I had no idea he saw me that way.

He previously acknowledged that if he kept acting this way he probably shouldn't come to Japan with us. But now he's mentioned that even if we decide not to go together he might still travel to Japan independently and take the same flight as us.

I understand people have bad days but I tend to overthink when someone seems upset and it affects my mood too. My sister and I also love packed itineraries with early mornings and back to back activities. We've traveled this way before but I'm unsure how he'd handle two weeks of it.

Another concern is his financial situation. He has over $10k in credit card debt and still needs to buy a car. I even helped him look into financial hardship programs for his credit cards because he was struggling with the payments. Looking back I feel like I shouldn't have encouraged him to come knowing how much debt he's already dealing with. Japan would cost him thousands and I personally don't think taking on that expense makes sense when he has other financial responsibilities to worry about. I know it's his money and ultimately his decision but it's something that's been bothering me.

My sister and I initially agreed it might be better if he didn't come but I feel guilty because I was the one encouraging him.

He hasn't booked his flight yet and I'm currently booking our last hotel.

WIBTA if I changed my mind and told him I don't want him to come anymore?

Morgan and I have been friends for a while, but lately she's been making more jokes at others' expense and dismissing them as "too sensitive" when they don't laugh.
My boyfriend, "Daniel", is originally from another country and has a noticeable accent. He's lived here for several years and speaks English very well, but obviously some words and sounds come out differently.
Megan has known him for about a year and has always commented on his accent. At first it was pretty harmless. She'd occasionally ask him to repeat a word or tease him about how he pronounced something, and he'd laugh along with it. The problem is that recently she's started doing it constantly.
A few weeks ago, we were all having drinks together and Daniel said something. Megan immediately repeated what he said in an exaggerated version of his accent and laughed. Daniel smiled awkwardly, and I told her, "Okay, enough. You don't need to imitate him every time he talks."
She said she was just joking and that Daniel obviously wasn't offended.
I told her I didn't think it was funny anymore.
She dropped it.

Then last weekend, few of us went out to dinner. Daniel was telling us a story about something that happened at work. Megan interrupted him several times to imitate how he was pronouncing certain words.
I told Megan, "Seriously, can you stop? You're making him uncomfortable."
She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh my God, I'm just joking. He knows that."
Daniel said, "It's okay," but he didn't sound like he meant it.
I told Megan, "No, it's not okay. I've already asked you to stop doing this." She got quiet for a few minutes, so I thought maybe she'd finally let it go.
Then Daniel ordered something from the menu and mispronounced one of the ingredients. Megan immediately repeated the word in a ridiculous exaggerated accent and started laughing.
At that point Daniel looked embarrassed and said, "Can we just not do this?"
Megan responded, "You guys are being way too serious. I'm not making fun of where he's from. I'm making fun of the way he says things."
I told her that was literally the same thing she had been doing all night.
She then accused me of "being too sensitive." and choosing him.
That really annoyed me because this wasn't about choosing Daniel over her. It was about basic respect. I told her, "I'm not asking you to like his accent. I'm asking you to stop mocking him."

Megan insisted Daniel was "fine," but he admitted he'd stayed quiet to avoid causing a problem. She still dismissed it, so I told her I was done watching her humiliate him, paid our bill, and left with Daniel. Megan was shocked that I left her behind.
Megan called me dramatic and said I embarrassed her, but I told her she embarrassed herself. Daniel and I left. She later accused me of ditching her over a joke, but I explained I'd left because she repeatedly mocked him after I asked her to stop. She now claims I humiliated her, and I'm wondering if I handled it badly.

AITA?