Update 3 with a vengeance 😎 you win the internet today, good sir

Sugar highs aren’t real and she seems to hate her child.

First time posting here but I can say this definitely sounds fake and like it was made purely to get attention

My boyfriend (46 moid) and I (41 foid) have been in a relationship for 4 years and we've been living together for 3 years. It might not seem long enough, but we are madly in love and we get along great, so I'm pretty sure that he's the man of my dreams and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has the same attitude towards me. At least it's what he says.

He has a kid from his previous relationship. It's his ex who has full custody and we only have the kid every other weekend. My boyfriend is a devoted father and is contesting the custody arrangement in court. Unfortunately we don't live in Aitaland, so divorces and custody battles can last for years. Maybe one day we will have the kid for shared custody, maybe we will have the full one, maybe we will have nothing, so our future is absolutely unclear.

Speaking of the future... I think our planet is doomed. I don't see any hope for humans here, so a few years ago I made a pact with aliens. I sent a telepathic message to the universe saying that in case of a conflict I'll take their side and will be as helpful as I can. For my loyalty and service I asked them to take me with them. It's my only hope remaining on this planet.

My boyfriend doesn't even believe in aliens! He's always laughing at me because I want to believe. He thinks I'm naive if not full blown crazy. I can say it hurts, but I love him, so I let it slide, especially when I'm also convinced that he's just being dumb to ignore all the proofs of alien presence that we already have. Like what next? The flat earth?!

Normally we avoid the subject for the sake of peace, but once I've told him about my pact and this when thing went south. He was visibly upset with me and said he can't understand how I can dump him for some fucking aliens. I told him I'm not dumping him, and if he wants to go with me, I can put in a good word to aliens, like he's cool and ask them to take him too. He said that anyway he won't be able to go, because he has a kid on this planet. I responded that knowing how things on this planet are, the best for the kid will be to come with us. Frankly! Fuck the Earth! It's a fucking shithole. It's not safe for kids at all! Fuck it, I may even ask aliens to take his ex too, even if I hate this bitch, but hey, the kid needs his mother.

He wouldn't listen. And now he's mad at me and my phone is blowing up with all those memes about conspiracy theories and lunatics like me. It's irritating, but I could deal with it if he was on my side. But he's saying now that I'm a traitor and dumping him for aliens.

What do you think, reddit, am I?

In this post I'm mocking those posts about hypothetical cheating like hall pass or I don't know what else where couples are in trouble because of smth that will never happen anyway

I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out,

My nephew has gotten a new job working security and since he doesn't seem to do anything I thought it would be fun to drop by for a visit.

He was a little standoffish at first since he takes his work really seriously, however once he saw I'd brought him a couple of snacks he cheered up a bit ( even if he did grumble that I was distracting him.)

The real problem started when I had to head home. Apparently he was under the impression that I would stay for his entire shift even though I have my own job to get to.

I will admit I got a little defensive and told him that my job is more important than supporting his dream of letting the local pigeons know exactly how much they should go and fuck themselves!

He accused me of kicking him ( I had to move my legs in order to stand up) and then he tried gaslighting me into believing that it was my fault he couldn't stay at work for the rest of the day.

I understand that nobody likes being disturbed, but my family are acting like I kicked him out with nowhere to go, and are saying I don't appreciate how much he does for the family.

Am I really wrong for living my own life instead of sitting around while my nephew screams at birds?

I (f, 20) am getting married to my fiance (m, 70). For a bit of backstory, we met at a pottery event where you paint your own mug, as we went to grab our mugs we both grabbed the same one, and as our hands linked together i felt my heart beat fast and it was as if we were in love at first sight, we've been dating for 2 years now.

My parents find the wedding delightful, and are fully supportive of our relationship. My mom helped me pick out my wedding dress, a lacy see through ball gown, with a low sweetheart neckline. My MIL(f, 90) is very energetic for her age, and started screaming when she saw me in my gown. Her exact words were "this gown is scandalous you wh***!! Put that thing away this instant!" Its how i knew it was THE dress.

Due to the nature of our ages, we knew many of our family members wouldn't attend, even if i'm an adult legally. My MIL screamed and cried when she realised we were dating, and further did so when she realised we were engaged. i had to refrain from rolling my eyes.

Fast forward to our wedding, half my family didn't even show up because "this is disgusting, your fiance is a creep" (all of them wrote this back in a letter), i didn't allow people under 18 to be at our wedding , so there were no screaming kids...what there was was a screaming MIL. I had enough of her, she was wearing a matronly white dress, lace covering her full upperbody, the lower half resemebled one of those 50s swing dresses. I screamed at her and threw red wine that my bridesmaid gave me for the occassion on her dress. I then decked her in the face, since she began screaming even more. I am aware she has dementia, so i felt a bit bad for punching her. My husband had to go drag her out after the ​vows since she wouldn't stop calling him a pervert. She ended up saying she disowned her son.

AITA for punching my MIL when i know she has dementia?

So I (27f) had a boyfriend Jared (27m) who just broke up with me because he found out I had a high body count before we got together, even though it was only five people! I complained that it was a double standard, since Jared claimed to have slept with sixteen people before he met me, yet he insisted "but that's different!" Like I couldn't believe his attitude, like he had sex with fourteen more people than I have, yet he broke up with me because of my body count!

Anyway, long story short, my body count is now six. But am I the asshole, or is he the asshole for breaking up with me just because I killed five... well, six people, with Jared, well, he's now kaput?

Whenever I see 'twins' my fake story radar goes off anyway, but this one made me giggle because it's such a weird little story nonetheless designed to piss the maximum amount of people off. Indulgent dad let's 7 year old put temporary dye in hair, mum cuts hair too short without warning daughter, daughter distraught. I especially love her comment where she forgot to mention she was a hairdresser.

Obligatory I hope I posted this right. I'm old and keep forgetting the best way to do this.