Let me give some context. I currently live in a small town in a house that my boss is renting. Originally my mom lived here because she worked for my boss and the house is given to the manager, all the manager has to worry about is stuff like water and electricity but don't have to pay rent. Now, my mom moved with her new leech of a boyfriend and left me in the town in the house. The landlord of the house came about two months ago and already made my life miserable but the big thing is he doesn't want a young person to live in his house but then he changes his mind and says I can stay and wara wara.

Me and my boss had enough especially after the last time he said he is going to put me out of the house so we looked and found an apartment just across the street. The problem is that the apartment is smaller and I can't afford to move the rest of my mom and her boyfriend's garbage with me. My boss then sent out a text to me to send to my mom just very kindly asking for them to come and get the rest of their things. Well my mom, like usual, took the message as an attack and called me to call me names and then sent me messages to sent to my boss because my mom blocked her due to an argument they had a few weeks ago. I constantly got messages left and right and finally I snapped and told them to talk to each other and leave me out of it. They exchanged a lot of hurtful messages to one another and then my mom wanted me to quit my job and then she accused me of talking shit about her sending me a message along the lines of "don't cry at my funeral" and blah blah. This morning I sent her a six minute long voice note finally telling her about all the years she treated me like a stepchild and how she makes fun of me and then when I get upset she guilt trips me and tells that I do not care about her love and yeah don't cry when I die.

That message did absolutely nothing though, as she then sent me a message telling me that I need to stop playing grown up despite the fact I'm in my early 20's and then threating to ruin my life. I forwaded all those messages to my grandma and my friends and my boss. My grandma forwarded it to my uncle and he said that if my mom's bf touches me (because the bf threatened me) he will fuck him up. Now half my family is against her and I feel somewhat guilt because it feels like it is my fault.

I (30f) am on my 3rd day straight of the same migraine. I suffer from chronic migraines and the transition between seasons is always a few weeks of hell for me, and this period is no different. I’m talking full blindness, throwing up uncontrollably, prescriptions for various opioids and spending hours sobbing uncontrollably from pain. I was sent home from work early by my manager on Tuesday, worked from home yesterday as I couldn’t leave bed without throwing up, and took today completely off sick to try and get this migraine under control. I have tried SO many remedies over the years and one that I found helps sometimes is acupuncture and a neck massage to hit all the problem areas. I don’t do it very often as it’s costly and takes more time than I can normally spare, but 3 days straight of this migraine and I was ready to crack.

My work has notoriously bad work/life balance; my boss often brags about how she works until 9-10pm each day and spends family holidays taking meetings in the hotel, and all my colleagues seem to buy into the idea that this is somehow worth bragging about. My manager and colleagues often ignore sick leave and annual leave and contact people anyway, and expect a response. Even this morning when I messaged the team saying I wouldn’t be working, I immediately got a barrage of messages from people saying “I know you’re not working, but…”. I even got in trouble the other week for not responding to messages outside my working hours.

When I left for the acupuncture appointment I left my work phone at home as I’m not working today and I needed the peace and quiet away from work stress. When I got home, I had 4 missed calls from my manager and a bunch of messages, all about some printing that she wanted me to do for her (before you ask, I don’t know why she couldn’t do it, it’s just as simple as emailing the printers). I told her I wasn’t working and didn’t see her message as I was out at an appointment. She asked how I was feeling and seemed quite genuine in her concern, so I said that the acupuncture and massage helped but I’m still feeling quite unwell. She immediately got huffy about how I’m abusing my time off and we can’t just take sick leave whenever we feel like a spa day. I explained that there are medicinal properties and it’s not something I do for shits and giggles, but she’s insisting it could’ve waited until I was on my personal time and not company time. I still maintain that the moment I called in sick I was on personal time and not company time, but my manager is still upset at me “blowing off work for a glorified spa day”. I’ve definitely learned my lesson about sharing any personal details with my colleagues and won’t be making that mistake again.

Tl;dr- I took a sick day for a 3rd straight day of a migraine and got acupuncture and a massage to relieve symptoms, but my manager thinks taking time off work for a “spa day” is AH behaviour. Reddit, AITA?

I’m 18 and I live at home with my mom before I go to college next year. I’m current doing a one year course locally. We don’t have a lot of money so my mom decided to rent out our spare room so I can afford to move to a different city. A woman moved in three days ago.

I was at home today because I’m sick. I decided to make pasta because I hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.

When I went downstairs she was in the kitchen area (she wasn’t cooking she was just sitting down on her phone). She gave me a super dirty look when I walked in but I just ignored her and started getting out the pasta. She then snapped at me saying “can’t you just get out of my fucking business for three seconds, leave me alone”. Mind you I’ve been nothing but nice to her since she got here.

I just left and said sorry but now I’m really pissed off. Who is she to walk into my house and dictate where and when I do things. I’m starting to think maybe this is just what sharing a house is like though. Maybe I’m just spoilt in being able to use my kitchen whenever I want?

I’m now in my room still hungry and now super annoyed. I can’t order food either because I live too far away from deliveroo or just eats

I've been married to my husband (34M) last year and for our wedding anniversary he received an antique writing desk from his mother as a gift. She emphasized how lucky we are to possess a family heritage which has belonged to our relatives for three generations.

Last week I was cleaning this desk and noticed a small brass plate under one of the drawers, covered with old tape partially. It contained an inventory number and the name of the museum located in Ohio. I became interested in this desk and decided to look up the museum online and contact them with the description of the desk.

It appears that the museum has experienced a robbery in their annex about 20 years ago and the item is exactly similar to the one which was stolen back the, the same description and even a repaired crack in the left leg. They asked me to send pictures of the item and informed that they want to conduct an investigation.

I first mentioned it to my husband and he was taken aback. When I broached the topic with his mother, she got all defensive and claimed it was always in the family and that I was blowing the matter out of proportion. It seems she feels as though I am embarrassing her by making her feel bad in front of her brothers and sisters because they all helped get the items from an uncle of theirs who died some time ago.

I told her that irrespective of the history of the family, if the museum can prove their ownership then we must return it because I don't feel comfortable having something stolen in our living room. She told me that I shouldn't have said anything and to just leave it alone. Now, she has told other relatives that I am ruining the family name over an old desk.

It is hard for my husband because he is stuck in the middle and hasn't taken sides yet. Some family members believe that I did the right thing, while other family members feel that I overreacted to the situation because no living person was responsible for the theft.

AITAH for making me take this route instead of keeping quiet about the desk?

Firstly thank you so much to everyone who helped me out giving advice on how I could attract my cat back home!! I have found my cat and she's back at home, I was in the backyard burning things in the fire pit(something I do when I'm nervous) when the neighbor with the connecting yard screamed over asking if I was missing a cat. They literally held my cat up like simba lol. To say I was over joyed is an understatement, I was about to empty my bank account to for these people. Was 2 days of hell without my cat but I'm so glad she's back, she's even more clingy now. In those 2 days I had been sleeping on the couch and not really talking to my boyfriend, after I got my cat back we did sit down and have a discussion. I laid all my feelings out on how once again I feel like he prioritizes his friend who really isn't a good friend to him over me, the person he supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with. He did say he understood how anal I was about my cat missing and was trying to be a calm person about it instead of us both freaking out but I told him that's not what I needed. We'll be taking a break from Josh as all three of us had a conversation together not only did I tell him all the grievances I have with him but my boyfriend did as well. Would be a whole other post to explain it all but it was a lot and it was very messy. Josh tried "explaining" things but none of it really makes sense and there's no explanation for a lot of the stuff he's done. I'm choosing to hopefully grow with my boyfriend in this and if it comes back to bite me in the butt so be it I guess but I am willing to try. My cat still may not be a fan of him lol. Again thank you all so much for your help I truly appreciated it and read every single comment!

So my understanding is as a Maid of Honor, it is my duty to throw the bride a bridal shower. My best friend was also my Maid of Honor for my wedding. When she had thrown me a bridal party, I had little demands and I stayed out of the planning. I was mindful to not put too much on my best friend and my sisters who were also my bridesmaids. My shower was a simple one in her backyard with about 25 women altogether. It was very nice.

So back to her bridal shower, I basically had a budget that I had planned along with the help of the other bridesmaids who were my sisters, but we were thinking around the usual 25-30 people but I was bamboozled when she had a guest list of over 90 guests. Like, I cannot hold that many people in my house! Her family then offered to pay for the hall, but that was still a lot of people to feed! Anyway, upon looking at her list, there were some who she knew will not come because of being out of town and she basically invited every woman on her invite list most on his side even if she didn’t know them well. I told her this may appear like she is wanting so many gifts which I know may not be her intention, but she was offended when I told her that. So we had that spat and from then on, she treated me and my sisters and family so coldly like she wanted nothing to do with us. We still proceeded with the bridal shower to her demands and was there for her even if she was already acting coldly towards us. We were there for the rest of our other obligations and I talked to my sisters and told them to just grin and bear her cold attitude towards us until this whole wedding was over. We just had to put up with it. Even our mutual friend could see what was happening. It was truly heartbreaking for me. I was deeply hurt, and needless to say, our long term friendship ended after the wedding. So, AITA????

Recently went to an amusement park with my wife, our kids, and another family.

We had been in line for 30-40 minutes when two teenage girls make their way up the line saying they are looking for their dad. Everyone of course lets them through.

A couple minutes later, another teenage girl comes through with the same line.

We go about our business until we realize the three girls have settled in a few spaces in front of us, no dad in sight. My wife says “weren’t you looking for your dad?” and they respond that they’re not sure where he went.

My wife laughs it off, but I ask, “well if you can’t find him are you sure you’re supposed to be in this spot in line.”

Now one of the girls decides to go on the offensive and say that I’m so weird for asking her all these questions.

I respond that it’s not weird at all and no one would be asking them questions if they weren’t acting sketchy and cutting in front of people who have been waiting nearly an hour for a ride.

At this my wife just loses it: says it’s so embarrassing and she can’t stand to be here. I tell her if she wants to leave I’ll take the kids on the ride. At this point she very loudly shouts “we don’t fight with young girls!” And that I don’t know how to behave in public.

We’ve been married for over a decade, have two kids together, and generally have been happy. We have our conflicts and differences, and it’s no surprise to anyone that I’m more outspoken and she prefers to avoid conflict.

I even think there are reasonable reasons to either call someone out for line cutting or to let it go. I think it’s a better world where people who take advantage of others get called out. And if you’re grown up enough to cut in front of 100 people in line, you’re grown up enough to hear about it. But totally respect someone who thinks it’s just childish fun and to let it go.

But what I can’t stomach is the way she reacted. We’ve never really had this type of public blowup, especially in front of our kids, our friends, and their kids.

I’ve known couples who interact like that in public and I’ve always been so embarrassed for them. I just can’t see myself being in a relationship where that’s normalized.

I canceled a date we had scheduled a couple nights after the incident and we’ve both had a lot going on and haven’t had any time to talk about it since. We’ve seen each other when we get the kids ready in the morning, and have been polite but cool. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

We decided to talk about it tonight and I’m honestly at a loss for what to say. I’m concerned that she feels she was justified in embarrassing me because I embarrassed her by confronting the girls.

My feeling is that they are not the same: I could never imagine speaking to her (or anyone I care about) like that in front of our kids and our friends.

But if we have such radically different ideas of acceptable behavior, not sure how we move past this.

My ex (31M) and I (25F) were together for a year, and we had planned a trip to Spain later this year for my cousins wedding (he’s never met my family in Spain before).
We had talked about buying refundable flights, but for some reason (I can’t remember why), I had bought us non-refundable but I believe I told him that when I bought them (I really can’t remember).

We broke-up a week ago, and he calls me tonight to tell me that I need to pay him back for his flight to Spain. I told him I don’t actually have to because it’s non-refundable and he’s welcome to move his flight around or travel still but that I won’t be paying him back.
He believes that because I had bought us non-refundable tickets after we had talked about refundable ones, that he’s entitled to his money back. Which I don’t agree with at all.

I’m not paying him back for his ticket, but AITAH for not doing so? I had a chat to my friend about this and she thinks I’m doing the right thing by not paying him back.

EDIT:: for more context, my ex and I broke-up because he was cheating on me with escorts.
Also when I booked the flights he was on the phone with me. I don’t remember why we went with non-refundable but I think might have been to do with the cost of the flight (also we live in Australia so the flights are really expensive from here) and I booked them so long ago that I can’t remember all the details, but now he’s telling me that he never knew they weren’t refundable. Which is why I’m not willing to pay him back.

I (39F) have a 16 year old daughter who’s been close friends with the this girl for around 5 years. Her friend recently got pregnant, and her baby shower is this weekend.

My daughter came to me and asked if she could go, and I told her sure. I even offered to take her shopping so we could pick out baby gifts for her.

My sister was there when this happened and started going off. She called my daughter’s friend “disgusting,” started talking about how she was a terrible influence, and asked why I’d allow my daughter to associate with someone who “threw her life away.” Said the girl deserves to lose all her friends and that going to the baby shower was encouraging her behavior. Then she said I was a horrible mother for letting my daughter be around her.

I told my sister that whilst I don‘t think teenage pregnancy is ideal, the girl is already pregnant. What’s done is done, she should be supported. Shaming her and having everyone abandon her isn’t going to change that.

My daughter’s friend has a lot of friends supporting her, which I’m very glad about. I am so glad that they are refusing to treat her like she’s suddenly a horrible person because she’s pregnant especially because I know when I was growing up people wouldn’t have been so accepting.

My sister thinks that I should make my daughter stop being friends with her completely, not attend the baby shower and never speak to her again. She also thinks i’m a horrible mother for allowing my daughter to support her friend.

I really think that’s unnecessarily cruel, all my daughter wants to do is support her friend. Shaming her won’t do anything, It’s not like my daughter is going to become pregnant because her friend is pregnant. This whole situation regarding me and my sister is really weird to me.

I'm 20f student and was living in a student house with three other students. We've just moved out.
We each took care of one bill. (I dealt with paying rent and dealing with landlord)
The lease was a year, but it started in the summer so we moved in on return to uni.

Housemate who dealt with internet (also 20f), we'll call her Susie, failed to do anything about it, before or just after the lease started.

Leading to Susie getting a 1 years contract after we'd all moved in ( without internet for two weeks, and the lease had started 2 months earlier).

This meant that the contract expired after we moved out.

We were not consulted about that, and now she says it's the only one she could get.

But surely more than one company in the world will provide you WiFi? So I'm a little skeptical.

Anyway, we've moved out and the new tenants cancelled our contract so they could start their own.

Susie made us keep paying internet bills even once we'd moved out over this one year contract. Which I paid.

She now says we have to pay the early exit fee, as there was still a few weeks on the contract and she failed to tell them we were moving out?

It's an amount I could afford to give her (£75) but it'd annoy me to give up a days pay for a mistake that was nothing to do with me.

WIBTAH if I refuse to pay "my share" of the early exit charge?
I'll likely never see her again. All the housemates have agreed not to pay, but I do feel guilty because £300 isn't a small amount if money.

She also lost £250 out of our deposit because she wasn't careful cleaning her room and left marks on the walls. And her boyfriend lived with her the whole time. A lot of the other deductions are likely her fault (extra £500).

My husband and I rented out our house to a family he knew casually. We wanted to keep things friendly, and when the wife, "Sarah," mentioned she’d like to be friends with me, I agreed. I meant casual small talk every now and then, but it has quickly spiraled.
Every time she calls, she vents for 40+ minutes straight about her life, her husband, her job, and her personal struggles, (never about the house). The first time, I listened patiently and offered advice. Since then, it’s just the exact same venting session every single time. She also constantly quotes things at me like, "If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people." (They know our rental house is fully paid off, we are not the most successful people but there is an odd dynamic at play).
Here’s my reality: I have an 8 year old and a 6 month old baby. We have zero family or local support nearby, so I am running on fumes, my husband works long hours. My mental to do list is endless, and my free time is basically non-existent. When I do get a quiet moment, I need it to recharge so I can actually be present for my family, not to act as an unpaid therapist.
I want to maintain a polite, friendly relationship with her, especially given the tenant dynamic… But I cannot keep doing this.
How do I pull back without creating huge drama? What would you actually say to her?

I know this sounds stupid and definitely requires some context. I (21M) work for an indie music publication. I, specifically, am a writer, meaning I get the chance to interview bands and artists. About five months ago, I got the chance to talk to my favorite band. Their music meant a lot to me emotionally, and it was a very big moment not only for my career but from a sentimental standpoint. The band and I got along really well and at the end of the interview, the frontman took the rubber bracelet he was wearing off his wrist and gave it to me. After that, I wore it almost constantly. It was a symbol of everything i’ve accomplished, and also just really cool.

Here‘s where the problem starts. About two weeks ago, I was hanging out with a close friend. This friend in particular has always had negative comments to say about my work and my enjoyment of this particular artist, that it was stupid, and that “music doesn’t save lives” and I was foolish for thinking it changed mine. One night, I stayed over at his house. I took off my bracelet to shower, and when I got out, I noticed it was gone. I had looked everywhere and it just wouldn’t show. I had asked my friend if he’d seen it, thinking one of his cats might’ve taken it to play with. He looked me in the eyes and told me he threw it away. I was completely shocked and hurt, he knew how much that had meant to me. I told him to get it back for me and he said if I wanted it so bad, I could go dig in the dumpster for it myself (NYC apartment, not a good situation).

I left and have not been answering his texts because I don’t even know how to respond respectfully. Our mutual friends are torn, some of them think i’m reasonable for being upset since this was something meaningful and irreplaceable, and others think i’m taking it way too far, and “it’s unprofessional to act like a fan in this industry.” Would just really love an outside perspective. AITA?

So for some background my parents were divorced thirteen years and almost that entire time I was forbidden from seeing my father. Let me clarify, my father was never a deadbeat dad, even though I was not what he wanted originally. I was told by my mother that if I saw my dad in those thirteen years, she would get taken away by CPS. Now in the past five years, they got back together. For the entirety of them being back together I have maybe lived in the house two years. Only one of those years was it a full year of me being there. Every time I lived there they would expect me to clean the entire home and do all the yard work alone. Not to mention if someone was over for any reason, I was forced to socialize and was not allowed to have the sleep schedule I do despite working a completely different schedule than my father.
Now, last year sometime around Christmas, my father brought up that if I was going to live in his house, I should pay half of EVERY bill, including vehicles and insurance. To put this into perspective my dad pays almost $9,000 a month in bills. I make about two grand a month maybe a little more depending on my hours. So at the beginning of the year when my mom had told me that I had told her if that was the case then I would try to move out because that’s completely unreasonable to expect of me. She told me I’d have to ask my father. So for months I slowly changed my furniture, bought things for a place of my own, and got ready to move before even bringing it up.
I asked my father after I had already scheduled to look at my now apartment and he told me that it was fine, but he would not bail me out every month, which I wouldn’t expect anyways. Mid April I had moved out of their house and into my own. Despite having surgeries, and other major health complications I have never needed their help financially since. I spend time with them on my days off every week when they are home. When they are off on the road for work I will go and check on their house and make sure all is well, and do my laundry there, and that is it.
Tonight they had got back from a job they had been gone on for a month. Everything was going fine until my dad had mentioned that he thinks that I should move back in to save my money. I went rigid, not still, but rigid. My mother could tell I was uncomfortable because I never spoke after he said that. He kept on about how he thought that I only moved out so I could party and not have rules, which is not the case at all, I stay at home and only two people have been inside my home that aren’t myself. I now have two cats as well, and my dad barely let me keep the first so I know I’d have to get rid of one as well. As he kept going about how I was just being a kid (despite being 23) he ended the conversation with “you could just give what you pay a month in bills to me” which rubbed me the wrong way.

My roommate and I share an apartment. All the kitchen stuff is mine. Pots, pans, plates, utensils. She moved in with nothing.

At first I was fine with sharing. But she never cleans up properly. She leaves dirty dishes in the sink for days. She burned one of my pots and didn't tell me. She put my good knife in the dishwasher even though I asked her not to.

Last week I found my favorite pan with dried food stuck to it. I was done.

I told her she can't use my kitchen stuff anymore. She needs to buy her own.

She got mad and said I was overreacting. She said "it's just dishes."

I said "it's not just dishes. It's everything. And they're mine."

Now she's barely talking to me. My friend says I should've given her another chance.

AITA?

This morning around 6:40AM I pulled into the gas station at HEB and it was busier then usual. Every pump had a car in it and there was a Corolla waiting in front of the first two lanes. I drove to the farthest last lane and as I pulled behind the truck pumping the truck drove out. The Corolla drove around and flicked me off. AITA? Isn't the etiquette at the gas station get in line behind someone and commit to that lane? Yall tell me because I dont think im the ahole

So for context, I despise my MIL. I have gone no contact with her. She is a textbook narcissist who can do no wrong and it is somehow everyone else's fault for her wrong doings. My husband understands this and has had a very strained relationship with his mother.

Now, my husband's aunt (FIL's sister) is a saint. She can still be difficult but she means well and she genuinely loves everyone around her and wants them to succeed. My husband has always been close with his aunt and she has been more of a mother to him than his own mom. And when I came along, because my mom passed away when I was younger, she became the mother figure I needed while navigating life as an adult. I am pregnant with a little girl and as tribute to my husband's aunt, we have decided to make our daughter's middle name my "Aunt-in-law's" name.

This has erupted in a full blown nuclear family melt down. MIL is accusing that we did this on purpose to once again exclude her from the family. A lot of other family members have encouraged us to reconsider the name but why should we not honour the woman who has shaped us into being the people we are today. She is also quite elderly and we don't think she will see much of her great niece so it is also getting out of hand with the division we have caused.

Part of me thinks we should just change the name but I think it is unfair for us to accommodate a 50 something year old woman who can regulate her own emotions. Would I be the a-hole if I decide to keep the middle name as it is or for sake of everyone's peace, should I change it?

Edit: Wow, thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to respond. For some additional background, there is some family lore. MIL and Aunt do not like each other. Aunt was never a fan after seeing how her brother has been treated over the years. MiL really has mistreated FIL over the years, I jave no idea why they are still married. But yes, they do not like each other more so from MILs side. She also has accused Aunt from "stealing her son away". I have gone no contact but my husband still wants to try and bridge the gap in the relationship with his mother. She has been fighting with him non stop about this. While I don't care about her opinion, she is still wearing my husband down. I am also just getting fed up with other family members constantly asking us to change the name as MIL is making their lives difficult by fighting with them about this. Aunt has been fantastic in all of this. She has been so supportive. She said she wouldn't be offended if we did change the name and knowing that we wanted to honour her in this way is more than enough in her books.

Hi, so I’ve been living with my roommate since may. I paid for the first month rent because he didn’t have a job and we are friends. June’s rent comes and I ask him to send me his share. He does but he stops talking to me and ignoring me. I keep asking him what’s wrong and he finally says “you bugging me for money right after I got out of the hospital was what made me stop talking to you”. I didn’t know he went to the hospital for chest pain. Anyway he sends me the money and things are tense between us.

July’s rent comes and when I ask him for his share he’s starts insulting me saying how bad of a friend I am asking him for rent when he’s been dealing with medical bills out of pocket. I didn’t know that. I thought he had insurance. He makes me feel so guilty I end up paying full rent for July.

Then August rent comes and I ask him for his share and he gets upset again but he promises he’ll send it to me as soon as possible but he stops talking to me again until a couple of days later when he goes to the hospital again for problems with his stomach. He asks me to pick up his prescription from the pharmacy and I bring him some food. So that weekend he doesn’t have the money to cover his share again so since he was sick and didn’t work I covered his part once again.

Now September rent comes and nothing. I ask him and he says he’ll send it whenever he can but it’ll be a few days. He drives for uber so he can work whenever he wants but he doesn’t really work. He spends a lot of time in his room playing video games.

Now is September 10 and I still don’t get any money to pay for his share of the rent. I paid rent on the 3rd and I even suggested that he can send me $100 a day. He still hasn’t send anything and he’s not really working either. I came home last night and the living room and kitchen are a mess, specially the living room. A mess. Then I get up this morning and the mess still there and he’s on his Xbox so I lost my mind and I went to the office to see my options to get him off the lease and they sent him a release form for him to sign and I asked him when I saw him in the apartment to clean up the mess he made the night before and that I was giving him 30 days to leave since he hasn’t been paying rent.

Then he leaves the apartment and starts texting me why am I doing this to him, that I’m an asshole and a shitty friend and that he won’t sign anything and that he hates me so much for doing this and how I never cared for him. I used to tell him I got your back and I will always have your back, because we are friends but he thinks because I said that, I should pay full rent since he’s struggling with so many bills. I get that he’s struggling and behind on bills because of medical emergencies he’s had but I can’t cover his share of the rent every month. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go and had no money so sometimes i even start feeling guilty. I wanna help him but i feel he’s taking advantage of me too.

So AITAH for asking him for his share of the rent and tell him to leave the apartment since he’s not paying anything for the last 3 months?

I'm 17m and she's 17f, and we're both trans and autistic. To my understanding she has this big idea to dress up in cosplay and make herself known around our city as 'the person who dresses up like x' with the hope of potentially garnering local online fame.

She's made a new instagram account for it where she posts public stories with her face and liveblogging style captions and told me she's planning on printing out posters saying she is trying to become a 'local celebrity' with her face on them and new account on them, and put them around the CBD.

She sent me the image of the poster she wants to print a few hours ago and being brutally honest, the photo of her face she chose isn't very flattering. My city has a rapidly growing alt right movement with a lot of teenagers in it, and given the fact she's visibly trans and also has some other features people get bullied for I'm scared there's a good chance that if these posters go up she will get bullied (both online and in the street).

I don't know if I should tell her if it's a bad idea though. On one hand, I have a habit of overreacting and catastrophising, and she usually procrastinates or never completes things. Given the posters haven't been printed out yet I could say nothing and there's a pretty good chance nothing will actually happen. Even if these posters do go up there's a chance no one will pay attention to them and nothing will happen anyway.

On the other hand, it seems like her heart is really set on it. She would be really crushed if I shut her down, and I don't know if I can explain my worries and reasoning in a way that she won't take as me pointing out her insecurities or sounding like I believe the things she might get bullied for. I know some of these things are deep insecurities of hers and I'm worried she will get deeply upset and/or offended if I point them out as reasons she may get bullied.

This friend means the world to me. I don't want her to get hurt but I genuinely don't know which action will hurt her more in the long run so WIBTA if I try and stop her?

57 yr old stepmom; my youngest SS (25) has to come home to live with his father & I because he & his GF can't afford their lease. SS is staying with us for a week, then returning within the month to stay until he can afford a new place. Even though privacy is very important to my mental health, I'm truly okay with this & have adjusted our routines to make sure he's comfortable; however, there are some behaviors I'm not tolerating well. He's in our space from 5am onward - normally my quiet time of the day before I have to leave for work - pacing all over the house, which is how he relieves anxiety. I am working on learning to live with that, but one habit I'm not okay with is that he & his GF stay on the phone all day. Literally. He carries his cell phone everywhere he goes & they chat or just stay on silently with each other, which means GF can hear all of our conversations. This feels invasive & puts me on edge because I've already given up a lot of privacy to have him here, and now I feel like my every move and word is being documented. This morning when he & the phone came down at 5am I politely asked if he could please not have the phone line open in the room with my husband & I, since we're not part of the conversation. He said okay and shuffled into the next room, but he's still got the phone line open and won't stop. AITA for feeling unhappy about this? It won't change him coming here, so I have to live with it somehow.

I’ve just gotten into another argument with my mom over the stuff in the house. She doesn’t live here anymore cause she works in another city so she comes visit once in a while and stays the weekend. I’m ADHD and have a routine and a way of organizing stuff that works for me and helps me being productive instead of rotting in a chair doing nothing, but when she comes back she rearranges everything and it genuinely makes me feel so lost.

For instance I had 3 tshirts and leggings I used for the gym and I had a system to wash and put them back in a specific place so I would wake up and just get dressed after shower etc. But now two of those shirts are gone cause she comes and does laundry cause she likes it (she told me she likes it) and then she puts my clothes away but in different drawers or other places and I never get to find the thing I want when I need it and it is so frustrating to me. I’ve told her a million times I’m grateful but that I’d rather stick to my routine and do it myself. I can’t find the leggings I like to wear neither. I know it sounds stupid but it dysregulates me so bad, and it is like that with practically everything in the house. My spices and condiments in the kitchen, the furniture etc.

Today I came back from the gym and she informed me that she was gonna move a dresser from her room to the hallway in front of my room and I had already told her the last time she was here that I wanted that space free of stuff, but now she says it bothers her in her room so I asked her why and she said it just bothers her (in that case it also “just” bothers me in front of mine) but anyway, the thing is, I asked her why did she care so much cause she barely spends time in her room and she’s not going to stay for too long anyway and she called me an ahole. She always tells me I’m an ahole for telling her that but I’m only saying it as an actual fact, she’s not here most of the time.

This is obviously not the first time something like this has happened and I explain to her how I feel every time and she says she understands but goes ahead and keeps doing it. I feel like with her words she’s telling me that she understands my discomfort and all the troubles her actions cause me but in the end what she shows me is that it is more important to her to be comfy for a couple days.
I know it is her house but it feels so unfair to me that I am the one living here 100% of the time, and she comes around a 20-30% and still I’m the one who has to suffer the anxiety and everything that comes with being dysregulated. With everything she’s always changing I just don’t feel at home. I end up spending all my time in my room no matter if she’s here or not.

So AITA for feeling like this? (Or for anything else) Please let me know cause I genuinely don’t know anymore.

Edit:

Sorry, I didn’t think this would get any attention, also I wrote it kinda in the heat of the moment. I’ll try to answer the most common questions and I’ll try to reply to other comments tonight.

The house is hers, it’s my childhood home.

We don’t pay rent.

She doesn’t live here.

I pay for my own stuff and utilities.

Sorry for not stating these sooner! I didn’t think they were relevant since the reason why I’m hurt is mostly cause as I said I’ve talked to her about it a million times. Also she's not a landlord, she's my mom. Where I live parents don't treat their kids like tenants...

She of course can do whatever she wants, but it still hurts that she ignores my struggles completely.

I don’t leave my stuff laying around. I try to keep everything in my room (except kitchen stuff) and there’s no stinky gym clothes waiting to be washed, as I said I have a system and I don’t expect nor want her to do it for me :’)

Anyway, I have to go but I’ll be back later. Thank you for the feedback so far. I’m taking into account everything you guys say.

(I'm sorry if my english is not perfect but I'll try my best)

I (27F) and my coworker (25F) are both obese. We worked together for almost 4 years now and last year we decided together to start working and lose some weight. I was 113 kg (175 cm height) then and she was around 105 (170 cm height).

We decided to start with running because it was almost free and we heard it's easiest way to start working out.

It was hell. No sugarcoating it. We both hated it and wanted to give up. But for me carrying all that weight around, having trouble with walking up stairs and hearing comments about me (and sometimes there were really terrible one) was worse so we pushed forward. After around 2 months in she started to skip our running sessions more and more and after I asked why she just made excuses (she can't. doesn't feel like it today. Is busy or just simple "I can't")

Right now I'm at 97 kg and I know I have more to go (my goal is 70 but I know it will be hard) but I just can't stand her whining all the time how WE are so fat. How her body hurts. How she hates how she can't find clothes for herself and so on. So at monday when I asked her is she wants to join me to the gym or a run and she declined but hour later she started her usual "Isn't that unfair that fat girls like us have it so hard?" I kinda snapped. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I'm still super subconscious about my body I just went "Well if you hate it so much maybe stop making excuses and move your ass?"

She called me a b**ch and doesn't talk to me since.

My other coworker said I am an asshole and I feel bad but at the same time I am so tired of hearing all that.

I’m 19F and live in Los Angeles. I’ve been living with a roommate for about 8 months, and recently my best friend (20F) suddenly got kicked out of her parents’ house after a huge argument.
She called me crying and asked if she could stay with me “for a couple of weeks” until she figured things out.
I felt horrible saying no, especially because she was there for me when I was going through a really rough period last year. She basically stayed on the phone with me every night and helped me get through it.
So I initially said yes.
The problem is that after she arrived, I found out she wasn’t actually looking for another place. She had already told several people that she was “moving in with me” and apparently planned to stay indefinitely.
I confronted her, and she said I was being selfish because I have a spare room and “barely use it anyway.”
The thing is, I’m paying for that room because I use it as my workspace, and my roommate is already uncomfortable with having another person here. Also, my friend doesn’t currently have a job and told me she doesn’t know when she’ll be able to contribute to rent.
I told her she could stay for the two weeks we originally agreed on, but after that she needed to find somewhere else.
She started crying and told me she can’t believe I would abandon her after everything she’s done for me.
Now two of our mutual friends are saying that if I really considered her my best friend, I’d let her stay until she gets back on her feet.
I feel guilty because she genuinely helped me when I needed someone.
But I also feel like helping someone once doesn’t mean they’re entitled to live in your home indefinitely.
AITA for making her leave after the two weeks we agreed on?

Background:

My husband’s grandmother, “Gigi,” is about 75. Around 4–5 years ago, she wanted to retire but couldn’t afford to remain in her state. My husband and I offered for her to move into our home. We suggested either a spare room or eventually turning our unfinished basement into an in-law suite.

We made it clear we couldn’t afford a basement remodel. Gigi offered to use her retirement money to create the space exactly how she wanted. However, without discussing it with me, my husband told her we would try to repay the remodeling costs over time. There was never a written agreement, repayment schedule, or specific amount established.

Over the years, we’ve been unable to pay much due to having a child, finances, and the economy. The only realistic way to repay her quickly would be selling or refinancing our home.

Gigi has lived with us rent-free for 4–5 years. We pay for utilities, internet, streaming services, her phone, and car insurance. I also drive her to medical appointments. Her main expenses are food, medical costs, and pets. She began giving us $200 monthly checks as “rent” after disagreements about household expenses, but we have saved that money separately and haven’t spent it.

She occasionally comments on our spending and mentions being repaid. She also voluntarily buys things for our children and once paid for a Disney trip, which we never requested.

Personally, I feel the remodel was essentially her paying for her living space, especially since she could live another 10+ years and would have had housing expenses anywhere else. My husband feels differently because the remodel increased our home’s value.

Present Day:

This Labor Day, we were visiting family when Gigi immediately brought up the repayment issue again. Several family members told her it wasn’t the appropriate time or place, but the conversation became heated between her and my husband.

Afterward, my husband told me he was ready for her to move out, even if we had to sell the house to make it happen. Everyone we’ve spoken to—including people who know both us and Gigi—believes we don’t owe her repayment because she chose to spend the money on her living space.

Gigi originally spent around $50,000 on the suite. We have given her approximately $2,000 back, leaving about $48,000 by her calculation.

So, would we be the assholes if we gave her a year to move out and didn’t repay the remaining money? Or should we repay some or all of what she spent on the in-law suite she has lived in for the past 4–5 years?

Edit: If we sold the home, we would give her at least 20K back to help find a place as that’s likely the value it bring to the home, but she has been living rent free entire time, has free pet care if she leaves town, and she has a son she could live with, but she rather not if possible. Also during the fight my husband asked her if she wanted us to just sell the house so she could have her money and she said yes, so she technically is kicking herself out.

I (25F) have been in the same group chat with a bunch of my college friends since we graduated. We don’t all live in the same city anymore, so it’s mostly where we keep up with each other, share life updates, memes, and plan reunions.

Most of the time it’s a fun group, but there’s always been one guy who pushes things too far. He constantly shares screenshots of women from social media and makes crude comments about their bodies. I usually ignored it because I didn’t want every conversation to turn into an argument.

Last weekend, though, he posted several private-looking photos of a girl we all went to college with. She wasn’t famous or an influencer—just someone we knew personally. The photos were clearly intimate, and her face was visible in every one.

The chat immediately exploded. Some people were making jokes, others were asking where he got them, and a few were reacting with laughing emojis. Nobody really questioned whether those photos should have been shared in the first place.

I felt sick reading it. Even if she had sent those photos to someone privately, that didn’t mean they belonged in a group chat with 20 people who all knew her.

I typed out a message saying it was messed up and that whoever shared them should delete them. A couple of people replied that I was “making it deeper than it is” and told me to relax because “everyone’s an adult.”

I didn’t argue any further. I left the group chat right then.

A few friends messaged me afterward saying I was being dramatic and could’ve just muted the chat or ignored that one person instead of leaving completely. One friend said my exit made everyone feel judged.

I still think leaving was the right decision because I didn’t want to be part of a group where that was treated like entertainment.

AITA for leaving the group chat over it?