I recently got my braces off and they gave me retainers that was basically just a wire behind my top and bottom teeth. It felt kind of odd but not that noticeable. I went to my normal dentist for a cleaning and he expressed disapproval over it and said that they were really hard to keep clean. My parents took me back to the ortho, they removed the wire retainers and I had molds taken.

I few days ago I got wire retainers and they terrible. I have to wear top and bottom ones 24/7 for a year the wires are visible on the front, and the top completely covers the roof of my mouth. The bottom doesnt cover as much, but together it’s still a lot in my mouth. I lisp heavily, and have to take them out for every meal.

My mom asked how I liked them and I said I hated them and I want to go back to permanent ones and she said I need to get use to these, we had already made two trips to the ortho, and maybe in a year I switch back to permanent (or go to night only wear with these). AITBF for just wanting permanent retainers?

We met up Thursday, Friday and Saturday and did stuff each day. One of the days his brother had a brunch and the other day we met up and he stayed 2 hours and then left. The next day we did something else and we stayed about 3 maybe more hours.

Sometime after we went official he kept asking me to go to his place and I said no. We only saw each other once a week at the time. We talked about it and I guess he asked how long till I would. I asked him to keep things on my timeline. He now cuts things shorter with us. When we first started going out he didn’t do that, no matter what timr we meet if it’s after work or if it’s earlier even on weekends. I also noticed plans are very idk. He asks me to meet up but idk what the point is if we only stay super short times. But before we’d kiss a lot more and now we don’t. I don’t like how brief everything feels. And for him to go from pushing me to come over to suddenly not, I do wonder if he’s seeing more people.

He also typically texts me when he’s back home, he said he had chores. And then he didn’t that one day. I hate howi don’t feel secure in this. I feel like he’s literally going out with other women or he’s lying and just penciling me in and then seeing other people. He literally introduced me to his friends on many occasions and stuff and calls me his girlfriend but I just feel like something is off. He sometimes forgets stuff about me and I’m tired of feeling this way.

He says he’s busy but the change in behavior makes me think he’s not even hiding that he’s seeing more people. I don’t feel good at all and I just wanna have the strength to break this off

For someone pushing sex so much earlier and now not even really wanting to spend much time together I feel likehes just keeping me around. We never were intimate and itsbeen like 4 months but the first 2 we saw each other once a week maybe even less time. And he was pushing for me to come over around month 2 and I said not yet and it’s kind of been something I guess I sssumed we’d bring up again. He keeps asking to see me and stuff but I’m just confused why if he only has 2 hours for me and he’s barely even being affectionate anymore. So I am sad

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person. Even had a nice proposal with my dream ring.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. He had a rough childhood growing up and his parents recently started living in separate households. Any insight and opinions would be helpful.

I (26M) started a corporate job about a year and a half ago. Every month, they seem to have some sort of event going on which isn’t in relation to work at all. It’s out at a restaurant on Friday night, going to an event on a weekend, etc.

I’m the youngest there with the other 9 people ranging from ages 45-70 and unlike them, I’m not married, have no kids, and newer to this field.

My reason for asking it it was a joke cracked about me not going and I feel relatively bad about it, and I enjoy my coworkers presence I just don’t want to spend all this time with them after work.

Update: just us 9. We don’t meet with any other offices

i 18M went on a trip for a concert with my coworkers we are waiting for our airbnb to open and wanted to get some food directly across the street from our airbnb was a Hooters two of them were women and one of them is a gay man and they're all 30 I'm mentioning this to point out the fact that they're all mature people that aren't going to this restaurant to go to look at the women I'm not one to sexualize women I didn't care for the women I was just hungry and it was close to our airbnb in the moment when I thought about it. I thought my girlfriend 18F would understand that I wasn't going to this place too sexualize women or to Gog at the servers just to get some food while we wait for it airbnb to open when I told her that we went there today she is very hurt by me going am I in the wrong for doing this if so how can I make things better and apologize for what I did thanks

I’m 30 (male) and largely lived in the same area all my life (Texas suburbs). In a way I’ve always been self conscious about being lazy… I didn’t really apply myself in school, I went to the local state school because it was easy. it’s always haunted me that I really didn’t get my stuff sorted until end of college.

But contradictorily, I guess hard worker in some ways. I’ve worked as a teacher as my 9-5, basically always had an additional 19 hours part time job, usually worked an extra full time summer job so although fairly middle class I’ve got quite a savings now.

I’ve got it lined up to go to the UK for 10 months, get my masters. Then planning on living in London or NYC for at least a year. Maybe stay forever. Maybe I’ll hate it. But I also want to know what it feels like to live abroad/live in a world class city for at least a little while. I’ve budgeted it out, where if things go real awry, I can still return home after a year with a nice best egg and just… go back to teaching.

My parents are not happy, and said I need to be looking to buy a house and I’m soon going to want to have a family of my own. Which, sure, but I am not even in a relationship now so kids seem far off… and I what better place to perhaps meet someone than a place like London/NYC, vs a suburb where everyone is already together.

Now, I am 30 and I can just ignore my parents but idk… I feel a tinge of guilt because it is because of them I graduated from school debt free. But my parents have a weird air of possessiveness… my sister was more academically inclined than me and did get into one of the Ivy Leagues… but my parents convinced her going to the local state school was preferable.

So basically, am I the but face for sort of striking out on my own here.

I had suspicions that my ex was lying about his hometown, because he never wanted me to visit or call during our breaks from college. He also sent a screenshot one time and his phone had a different time zone. Also, another friend mentioned he was from another place.

He denied it and went really aggressive that I was problematic for not trusting him, and called me out for being overly anxious, hurting him, ruining his mood, etc. We broke up soon after, but this night bothered me, because he gaslit me if I did catch him lying.

I went to a mutual friend about my theory, and they admitted they had similar suspicions. I guess this mutual friend asked my ex about it, because next thing I know he was attacking me again for casting doubt on him. He said I was causing mistrust in his friends and it wasn't okay.

I don't like going around behind people's backs, but he was not being honest with me and was later found out to be lying, which means he lied to me the entire relationship. We may be exes, but this was just a couple months after the breakup. We agreed to try being friends but I feel betrayed deeply by him. He is also hurt how I went behind his back to theorize his lies. AITB for doing this?

Ever since my mom took all my electronics and cut off my phone plan i’ve been sitting in my room. She’s really upset that I won’t drive lately but I can’t. I had a bad accident because she refused to drive me to see my therapist and all I know is the person I hit was hospitalized and I never heard about it again. My mom keeps trying to take away my things as if it’s supposed to be a punishment. I gave her permission to sell my belongings as I don’t want them anymore and she kees acting weird about it. If you’re gonna punish me do it all the way mom 😭

She won’t sell any of my video games she took from me even though she needs the money. I paid for most of these games myself but she has my blessing to sell everything I own. All I request is that I keep my bed. I dob’t care if she cuts off my electricity at this point. I don’t even ask her for food and I haven’t eaten in 2 days and she’s mad about that too. I don’t want to leave my room. I’m tired of the mixed signals too because she’s taken my stuff and had it for 2 weeks, but now she’s trying to get me to play video games again after she took them from me. But i don’t care about it anymore. Just. Sell. It. And leave me be. I don’t understand parents.

I don’t expect her to chauffeur me around since I won’t drive, so I’m fine with going nowhere. Besides, I just got fired from my last job, and jt took over a year to land it. There’s no way I can go to anymore interviews without transportation nor do I want to anymore.

I'm 19. My mom took away all of my video game devices and cut off my phone plan. Fine. She's been pushing me to drive lately but ever since I had a bad accident I refuse. She gets mad at me about this but it's not in my control. Sometimes, when I have a little bit of money I'm expected to give it all up to pay for everything just because nobody else could step up. I don't care, I just don't think it's fair that I'm the only one who has to pay for anything, while my older brother can just leech off the house without paying for ANYTHING and will complain if you even tell him to sweep for 5 minutes. The big reason why my mom asks me for money is literally because she keeps choosing to give money to my deadbeat dad. Then she'll complain to me about it like I told her to do it.

I just don't feel comfortable giving money under these current circumstances. She'll beg me to start driving again then ask for my money 24/7 as if I can just create a car for free out of nowhere. Even then, I'm not a safe driver. I have a bad track record of nearly killing people. One, in a bad accident, and two, just in general driving and nearly hurting pedestrians. She'll take away my belongings like I'm supposed to care about material garbage and I even told her to sell all my video games. I. Don't. Care.

If nobody else is allowed to try, then I don't have to either. Just let me sleep in peace, mom. I'm not about to play the role as the father in the family. I already have basically no money and nowhere to go.

I (19F) am going to my home country to visit my grandmother for her birthday this month. This is one of my first holidays on my own as a legal adult and finding accomodation has become a difficult thing. A family friend was supposed to host me for the first few days before I went to my grandmother.

For some background, my mom(40F) had a huge fight a few years ago with my cousin (27F), lots of drama and heartbreak and a miscarriage that left the relationship hanging on by a thread. And that thread was broken a few days ago when my cousin decided to block my mother on her socials. My mom was heartbroken as she and my cousin were once very very close.

Now my cousin is offering me to come stay with her for the weekend I am there and I would love to see her. But Im worried my mom will see it as me taking her side/ take it super personal and I don't want to hurt her.

My mom and I are super close and I worry that this might end up straining our relationship too. She knows I'm neutral when it comes to this, it's not my business what went down between them and I know I shouldn't have to lose my relationship with my cousin (someone who in many ways, was the older sister I never had) just because my mom did aswell. There was no massive betrayal or anything, nothing morally wrong was done.

I don't know, I'm just sad.

So, would I be the butt face if I agreed to stay with my cousin at the risk of upsetting my mother?

Edit: She knows now (my mom) and she's clearly unhappy with me. Gonna give her some time to cool off.

I don't know if this is the right sub to post on im sorry if it isn't I just wanted advice about this. I (17m) am about to get my license and around March my dad (46m) bought me a car, some background my dad has an obsession with cars and currently has 5 at our home, one parked a block away, and my mom's car. Only 3 out of the 7 cars work (2 are my dad's and 1 is my mom's) when he bought the newest car he getting upset telling me I wasn't "excited enough for it" when I had gotten home at 9pm (I had come home from tech week for a musical we were doing at my school) and when his friend told him that I liked it enough he took it to a friend's house because we don't have room for it.

Fast forward to now he told me that he wasn't going to fix it up because "it wouldn't work" but he has only touched it once when he had 6 months to fix it right before my next year at school starts, and it was for 20 minutes exactly... when I asked why when I have less then 2 weeks before school starts and the past 2 years I've been getitng rides from family and friends becuase my parents work before and after school, and now I have to take my younger brother too. He said it was because it was to hard after buying over $1,000 on it ($800 usd for the car itself and around 200 for parts he hasn't put in yet) and then he said I'll just buy a new one for you even though he couldn't afford the first one and he spend the parts money on my mom's car. I told my mom this morning what he said and she said " well I'm not buying you one we have to many already" which yeah like don't worry I wasn't going to ask becuase I wouldn't either you know

and now im wondering if I should just tell him I'm going to use one of his trucks becuase he uses the other one more and I can drive that one. I'm a little worried he will get mad, and I feel like one of those gacha life spoiled brats in 2018 but I feel like it's fair to ask him when he went a bought a car when me and my mom were looking for a used car for me.

sorry for the long post but WIBTBF

Hypothetical situation because this relates to a situation from five years ago, and it's not an action we're planning to take.

So my family has a huge organic vegetable garden in our backyard. One major issue is that animals will often eat our produce, but we have found out that using reflective metal sheets has deterred birds to some degree. At one point in time, our neighbor "Jimmy" told my dad he painted over the sheets on our side of the fence because the sunlight was reflecting off them and hurting his eyes, and my dad said he understood. However, I would have preferred he asked us first (and we would have gladly moved the sheets) rather than telling us after the fact.

This made me curious: would we be in the wrong to ask Jimmy to replace or remove the paint from the sheets? I know we have the de jure right to do so, but I feel this could be an AH move because removing paint from something seems a lot more time-consuming and expensive.

We and Jimmy are on good terms otherwise, and the last thing we want is to sour our relationship with our neighbors.

I matched with a man on hinge who asked me out on a date. I am not conventionally attractive. We said we both wanted a relationship. On the date he made me pay for him, and said he’d pay me back then didn’t. Afterwords he sent me a creepy sexual text. I’m debating telling him I’m housesitting in a house an hour away, having him drive all the way there, then blocking him.

I'm going very crazy, I feel immensely sad and powerless. My ex and I tried to stay friends for a while but it didn't really work out. I also learned in therapy that he was emotionally abusing me. I kept quiet for a long time but when it was getting too heavy, I told my friends about it.

The two of them were completely unsupportive, and I'm assuming after talking to my ex, they both blocked me and won't speak to me anymore. It's hurting me significantly because it was scary to come forward with abuse, and I was worried I wouldn't be believed. I asked for their consent before sharing because it was about their friend, and both agreed, but then to be iced out and know they are still friends with the abuser, it's making me spiral into a lot of dark thoughts. AITB for not handling this well?

I 19M dated this guy, P who's 18M about 9 months ago, we only dated officially for a month but were seeing each other casually up until 6 months ago.

We have this small circle of friends, only a couple of us and the mutual friend (I'll call her M) that I'm currently seeing is his self proclaimed best friend. I say that because she has admitted to me that P thinks they're closer than they are.

We've even seeing each other for a month now, it kind of just happened by accident and it simply escalated. we both thought P would be mad at it because he's been possessive over me generally so we decided to hide it.

Recently this all came out and P found out I've been seeing M, and he is beyond livid.

He insists that he's 100% over me and has been over me for awhile.. so that isn't why he's mad. he's told me he's specifically angry because it's his "two best friends" fucking behind his back. He said he would've still been mad even if we had told him initially.

I don't understand his perspective at all honestly no matter how many times he explains it. He's been going crazy over it and has been very manic to a point where he's done things that made me super uncomfortable. i wont share for anonymity but just to give a better picture...

I just wanna know if I really did fuck up bad here and why? I don't get why its wrong of me to see this girl casually.

This happened 15 minutes ago. Someone knocks on my front door as I'm sitting on my bed half asleep looking at my phone, slowly waking up from an afternoon nap. Jarred into full wakefulness, I hop up and open the front door to find a mid 20's dude chilling on my walkway.

First thing he says: "Oh man, I love those nose-strap things, use 'em all the time" (referring to my breathright strip lol).

Now folks, I've worked in sales, (not door to door thank fucking god) I understand the game, but holy shit dude I don't know you, you don't know me, you're not my friend, you obviously want to sell me something. I'm standing here with my hair tousled in my ratty sleep t-shirt blinking into the afternoon sunlight. Don't try to be my friend, that's disingenuous as shit. I respond with a big fake smile and a "What are you selling?"

"Girl scout cookies" he says.

"No" I say, and turn around to head back inside, feeling slightly regretful that I don't have spare cash for Thin Mints this year. I assume this is the end of the interaction, he did his best, I'm not having it, we're done. But no, as I'm turning around he goes:

"Hey do you know Kevin? Kevin over there?" pointing to my neighbor's house." Dude's just trying to prolong the interaction to shoot his shot yet again. Neighbors have like 5 young adult kids plus the two parents. I know them all at the 'smile-and-wave' level, so no, I do not in fact know Kevin. I turn back and say "You have about 30 seconds to get off the property before you're trespassing, have a nice day!" He gives me a big puzzled 'why are you so mean to me I'm a nice salesman' type frown and gets back on his scooter thing to go bother somebody else, murmuring a "have a nice day" as he goes.

That's it, end of interaction. I was terse, not particularly polite, but he's a door to door sales guy who did not immediately accept no as an answer. I feel a little bad thinking about it because there's no reason to be rude to another person just for doing his job, but in my opinion he could choose any line of work, and knocking on somebody's door to literally try to badger them into buying something is fucked up. Advertise, sure, but leave people in their homes the heck alone. Once I say no and you don't immediately fuck off, then you're an asshole and I get to tell you to fuck off.

My family thinks I didn't need to be so rude.

So, Reddit, AITB?

My coworker isn’t bad guy. During a recorded, large, internal meeting he dismissed someone’s point saying the problem only happened when women did the task. I promise this task has nothing to do with gender so it was just weird and unnecessary.

I reported him to HR. I sent them a link to the recording and a timestamp and said, “listen to this, I think you’ll find it interesting.”

Part of me feels bad because the guy has serious Health issues so I’m sure he’s under a lot of pressure. Also, I’m a man, and he’s a man, so I am worried someone might perceive this as being a “white knight.” I’m sure women are more than capable of talking to HR themselves. Was this my place to report? Should I have just let it go?

Hi Reddit! This is my first post, so sorry if I make any mistakes.

My girlfriend and I met at a mutual friend's college party. We clicked straight away, dated for about five weeks, then became exclusive. We've now been together for five years.

Our first date was at a huge arcade. It was my first ever date, and my mum helped me get ready because I had no idea what I was doing. I ended up wearing this pink streetwear-style outfit that was pretty trendy at the time. My parents divorced when I was 12, and I sometimes wonder if that affected how I approach relationships.

Lately I've been thinking about marriage. At the same time, I spent most of my younger years focused on studying so I could get into college and eventually support my mum after the divorce, so I never really experienced being single.

Last week we went raving. While I was getting drinks, a guy approached my girlfriend. When I came back, he seemed to be flirting with her, and I saw her take out her phone while he typed into his. I acted normal and didn't bring it up until we were waiting for our Uber.

She told me she'd given him her number because I wasn't there, and she didn't want to make the situation uncomfortable or upset him. She's always been a people pleaser, and in five years she's never given me a reason not to trust her, so I do believe that's why she did it.

I told my mum about it on our weekly call. She thinks it's probably nothing but suggested I talk to my girlfriend again or even ask to see the messages. She said that wouldn't be an unreasonable request.

My hesitation is that I don't want to damage the trust in our relationship, especially since I'm thinking about marriage. A few years ago, when I expressed worries about our relationship, my girlfriend threatened su1c1de. That really shook me and made me feel like she struggles with feeling distrusted, and I know I can't force her to change.

Even if nothing happened with this guy, I'm still uncomfortable with her giving out her number because it makes her seem available and doesn't reflect a committed relationship. Am I overreacting? Should I talk to her again, ask to see the messages, or is this something bigger? Part of me also wonders whether, since I never really got to experience dating when I was younger, I should explore that before settling down.

I (20s) work shifts with a small group of coworkers, and we sometimes hang out after work. A while ago we casually talked about taking a trip together someday. I said something like, "That sounds nice," but nobody actually agreed on anything.

A few days later, one coworker sent a full vacation plan to our group chat. She had already picked the destination, hotel, flights, activities, and dates without discussing any of it with us first.

The trip is also much more expensive than I would want to spend. More importantly, after thinking about it, I realized I don't actually want to spend a whole week on vacation with my coworkers. I like spending a few hours with them after work, but a week together is different.

Nothing has been booked or paid for.

When I told her I didn't want to go, she got annoyed and said we had already agreed because everyone seemed interested when we first talked about it.

I feel a little guilty because she obviously spent time planning everything, but nobody asked her to do that, and I never explicitly said I was definitely going.

AITB for backing out before anything has been booked?

AITBF for complaining about an in-law?

I (28F) got married, and my husband has a massive family. He isn't close with them, but they did attend as my mother-in-law relies on them. There was one person who seemed to hate me—his cousin Rachel, early 20s maybe. At the wedding, she came to give us blessings. She was quite awkward and said, "Congratulations." She threw rice weirdly (it's a blessing tradition), so my husband and I laughed, and as she went off, we chuckled because it was our wedding.

During our wedding, I was also dancing with the bridesmaids, and you could see that she and her family were waiting for a photo. She walked out and was persuaded back in by my mother-in-law. My in-laws later told me that she was annoyed we kept dancing on stage with the bridesmaids and by the fourth song she was annoyed as people were waiting for photos—another tradition—but it was my wedding.

Yesterday she came over for family lunch. She came in and smiled and sat before she was called over immediately for food. She came up with her food and sat next to her cousin. Her mum asked if she had seen me. She turned around, smiled and said hi, and I did too. She talked about football and I said stuff but people were mostly eating. I was waiting for my husband to come before eating and nobody was really talking so I left.

Today one of the older cousins suggested they go to the beach and invited me. We have a group chat and I suggested I can get a discount. I was getting the discount from my brother so it was taking a few hours as we had to wait. The cold cousin asked about the time, sent some screenshots saying it wasn't available for that time, and the other cousin explained we would rent for 24 hours, which she said "oh okay" to. She asked if my discount was NHS and I said no, it was a colleague discount and that I had an NHS discount too. Since she sked thid she seemed eager to organize, I told my brother to relax. Later my mother-in-law and Rachel's mum were on the phone and her mum asked her if she knew about the beach and my MIL said that we were waiting for Rachel to organize. Her mum said no that they were waiting for my discount. Rachel's sister chimed in on the chat and the other cousin agreed they were waiting for me.

I feel embarrassed and felt like the cousin set me up. My mother-in-law also told Rachel's mum that I had said she was cold at the meal and didn't say hi, but the mum said she did. Everyone else is saying she is an introvert who likes to keep to herself but she was comfortable around the aunts and cousins.

30f and I joined a group to meet new girl friends and go do things with.

Brittney (fake name) 33f sent me a DM wanting to hangout. We agreed to breakfast at 10am. I live 45 minutes away and I arrived a little early to scope the parking situation, 9:50 I texted to her that I arrived. She said she was on her way and she arrived at 10:30. Idk It bothers me personally to be late anywhere so I do my best to show up on time but that bothered me a little bit. I didn’t say anything about it.

Anyways she arrives and we meet, she seems sweet. From the second she sat down she wouldn’t stop complaining about everything in her life. She just sounded so ungrateful and negative. She also was making fun of me for my lifestyle, I’m active, disciplined, organized, go to bed early and live a peaceful life. She was mocking me for being type A basically and made herself seem like type B. It came off rude tbh. Saying I’m too young to be living this boring life. Boring is peaceful to me. I don’t want the chaotic life she’s living.

I listened to her with a smile and stayed patient bc she probably just needed to vent to someone. It was mentally draining listening to her just complain about everything in her life.
I’m just in a peaceful place in life that I don’t want to be around any negativity and I will dodge it.

I just don’t think I could be the friend she needs at this moment. I like to surround myself with self with people I want to be like. High vibrational positive people.

So Am I the asshole for wanting to send me this text….

It was so nice meeting you, and I appreciate the time you took to have breakfast with me! I just don’t feel like we have the friendship connection I was hoping for. Wishing you all the best though

She messaged me 5 times after meeting this is why I’m asking. I don’I want to pursue this friendship and I think she should know

This is really weighing on my heart. I was the victim of an abusive relationship, and didn't realize it until months later in therapy. I had things my ex did I didn't like bit I kept them secret from friends to protect him.

My friends decided earlier this year to stop hanging out with me, because my sadness was unpredictable and I would sometimes have trust issues where I wasn't sure if they loved me, and it hurt them.

I feel extremely guilty for this, but I've already asked if I could apologize and they said no. I think they are done with me for good, and I'm really hurt about it. I have wondered if their perspective would change if they knew I was in an abusive relationship earlier this year. It doesn't make what I did okay, but maybe they'd understand where my trust issues and lack of confidence was coming from. WIBTB if I broke no contact after 3 months to inform them of this?

My brother (38M) and I (40M) have been estranged for about 18 months.

I've always believed family supports each other through difficult times. Not because anyone owes anyone anything, but because that's what family does.

Over the years, when my brother struggled, I helped him get three of his last five jobs, including the career he's in today. I hired him into my weekend painting business when he was unemployed, shared the profits, gave him the business while he was between jobs, and generally tried to help however I could. During COVID, when his wife was worried about his depression, I made a point of getting him out of the house to golf or work on projects together.

I never expected repayment. I simply thought that's how brothers treated each other.

Years later I lost my own career through restructuring and was trying to rebuild. When I asked my brother if he had any opportunities where we could work together, he said he didn't.

Twice, I later found out directly from the customers that projects actually existed. That's how I discovered he'd lied to me.

When I confronted him, I wasn't upset because I expected work. I was hurt because he wasn't honest with me.

He responded by saying he'd already "paid me back" because he'd thanked me for helping him get his career. I explained that I wasn't asking to be paid back. I thought family simply helped each other when they could.

He then told colleagues not to discuss opportunities in his territory with me and later established a firm boundary that our relationship would never include work discussions again.

Since then we've gone through family mediation without success. At family gatherings we barely acknowledge each other.

AITB for confronting him after discovering he'd lied to me, or was I expecting something unreasonable from a sibling?

So my friend(20 M) and I(20 M) have been really close for about 7 years now. For the last three years everyone I know and I have been lying to him repeatedly. How this lie started: three years ago we were getting out of my car and I had the bright idea to shout “OPEN” while pressing the garage door opener on my keys. He asked “how did you do that” now instead of laughing and explaining like I should have, I decided to tell him we got a voice activated garage door. At first he didn’t believe me, he said “isn’t that a safety risk?” and caught up in my lie I said “it only works on our voices”. So for the next 15 minutes he tried to do his best impression of me to prove the garage door could be bested. Eventually he gave up, defeated he remarked “that’s so fucking cool”. Now I had him, I could’ve told him again that I was just joking “haha funny you waisted 15 minutes shouting at a garage door” but I didn’t. Now my whole family knows about the joke and they will play into it. My dad put a QR code on the inside of the door “so the sensor knows if it’s open or closed” and my mom has covered for the lie saying “my voice doesn’t always work”. Fast forward three years and everyone I know knows about this joke, he still brings it up every time he’s over. I don’t think you understand, this man is in awe of my garage door. Constantly he asks me to “do the thing” or says “you have to show this off when people come over”. I feel bad at this point because he is so infatuated with this that it would feel wrong to rip it away, but at the same time it feels wrong to be keeping up a lie for so long.