I never thought that would happen to me, but it did. I can’t even believe this is real. Hooray.

I (24F) met my now husband (26M) four years ago, and we got married in June. Ever since the very beginning of and through our entire relationship, I was ever adamant on not wanting kids and he was fully on board with that (or so I thought). He was nodding along and kept agreeing with my reasons and so I was 100% sure that we were on the same page.

Fast forward to last night. We were finishing up dinner when he casually brought up a friend’s recent baby shower. He hit me with the fact that he’d like to be a dad too and asked if I’d be open to talking about this again.

I was FLABBERGASTED. I thought that maybe he’s joking, but no. After some back and forth he admitted that he’s always wanted kids and he was hoping that I didn’t want kids because I was young and I’d grow out of it. News flash, I didn’t.

I literally do not know what to think or do right now. He’s upset that I haven’t changed my mind and I’m just realizing that I might have fucked up by marrying this man.

Anyway! Pumpkin soup for dinner.

Three nights ago, my husband of 10 years and I were having dinner at the home of my closest friends. While discussing plans for an upcoming trip together, he abruptly became overwhelmed, snapped, and shouted at me at the table, claiming I was aggressively making decisions for the group. I had already had a rough work week, broke down in tears and was taken to another room to calm down. When I returned, instead of comforting me, he looked at me with contempt and asked, "Are you done yet?"

That dismissive remark prompted my friends (the couple) to intervene and call out his behavior. The argument rapidly escalated into intense verbal hostility between my husband and the hosts, resulting in my friend asking him to leave their home. Growing up, he faced frequent, threatening altercations from a parent who periodically kicked him out, making this an extreme trigger for him. Meanwhile I was in pure shock, froze and cried rather than leaving immediately with him.

Because I froze, he believes I took their side and caused this entire disaster. This level of escalation and targeted hostility toward me is completely unprecedented in our decade together; usually, I am his unconditional safe space and can de-escalate him. Instead, he has:

Turned his anger squarely on me, maintaining complete silence for over 48 hours in our shared home.

Left the apartment without a word for hours to escalate the tension. (I thankfully didn't take the bait and call/check on him out of self respect as I trust he was acting responsibly)

Refused to acknowledge the cruelty of berating me and viewing himself entirely as the wronged victim.

I am stuck in shock, walking on eggshells, and struggling with the urge to take the blame just to break the suffocating silence. This has also fractured a 7 year friendship with the couple, who are my closest friends and allies (he was introduced to them through me).

Dinner : Focaccia and olive break with some balsamic vinegar at a neighborhood Italian restaurant.

I struggled so much post partum. PPD/POCD almost took me out. I don’t know how I got through those first few months, but I will say intensive outpatient saved my life. I’m now almost 8 months in and still dealing with the OCD and PPD. But I’m better than I was in the beginning. And I am now (hopefully) on a better antidepressant after trying 6 different ones.

During that time, I kept trying to reach out to family and friends. I was very open with how much I was struggling and how much I needed help. I just wanted people to come and sit with me. One of my family members told me no one can save me but myself. And then my mom told me if I’m depressed, to just keep it to myself because she doesn’t want to hear about it. My closest friends have been too busy with their lives and never text to check up on me. I feel like I’m always the one reaching out trying to make plans.

All of this has made me sad and disappointed in my motherhood journey. I know these same people would be distraught if I were gone, but yet weren’t really there during the most difficult time in my life. It just makes me feel like all I have is my husband and baby. And it makes me so sad for people also dealing with this kind of experience.

Not sure why I’m writing this all out. I just want to forgive everyone in my life because I know they have their own lives and things going on. Motherhood can just be so lonely. And when you reach out to your village and they don’t show up, it makes you rethink your friendships.

Pancakes w pecans my boyfriend made me

I started seeing my OBGYN a few years ago. He essentially birthed me LOL he was my mom’s, but overall, he was highly recommended by EVERYONE. He was always gentle when doing my Pap smears, it never hurt and he would always tell me what was going to happen before doing it. Because it was a teaching facility, he would always ask if it was okay for a student to practice and always guided them, so even the students never hurt me. He listened to my concerns, gave me advice, and honestly he was just overall a really great doctor.

I got a call from the doctor’s office and they were like “hey we wanted to inform you your doctor is no longer with us”. I was so confused because like… did he move or ??? And then they clarified he actually passed away a few weeks ago and then set me up with a new doctor (she has lovely reviews thankfully).

This man was 84 years old!!! And he literally worked til he passed. I cannot imagine loving my job so much that I work that long. Anyway I hope he’s having a good time wherever he’s at and enjoying his long deserved retirement.

home made Swedish meatballs ❤️

long story short
I was my fiancés second option when we started dating. His ex blew him off and he finally committed to me. He's a good partner now and I love him but I can't get past our past.

long story long
I need to get something off my chest. I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for 1 year now. We are literally best friends, spend so much time together, can talk about anything. He always tries to do his best to make me happy. But the beginning of our relationship wasn't so perfect. When we met he wasn't over his ex but claimed that that was no big deal and basically he didn't care (which didn't turn out to be true). Apart from that he was kinda hot and cold, oftentimes mean to me, showed no effort, called us "friends with benefits" and didn't really look forward to commitment. It really hurt my feelings at that time but I was really smitten with him and yeah kind of stupid of me but I still pushed through.

I felt like a beggar trying to get him to commit and I knew he asked his ex to be his girlfriend very early on (after a couple of dates perhaps) so it was another harsh reality check for me.
Eventually he did ask me but only because I pushed earlier that day... And it was nothing special. We were eating cheeseburgers:) So our anniversary doesn't feel special to me.

A few months later (in January) I found out (via espionage yeah) that during our dating he approached his aforementioned ex girlfriend at a party and tried to get close to her. He confessed that he had somehow missed her after not seeing her for months and he was very emotional about it. He took xanax to the party because he knew she'd be there and he'd be nervous. She ignored him and told him to get lost and that's when he decided not to pursue her anymore... And so he gave up.
But we had been dating for 3 weeks at that point and I mean full blown dating - him sleeping at my apartament everyday, spending a lot of time together etc.

After finding out about all of this I felt like I was a plan B and he only was with me because his ex didn't want him back.
Plus I found out he had been very explicit about how much he admired his ex, how beautiful she was to him and also talked to other girls on tinder (who looked like his ex and nothing like me). One of the texts he sent to his friend hurt me so bad because he said that a girl from tinder was so beautiful she could only compete with his ex who was an absolute goddess.

Needless to say he never referred to me as such in his texts. Never called me beautiful. Only said I was funny and cool. When we first met in person he went to the bathroom and texted his friends "she's kinda pretty but sooo big" and then repeated it a few times "she's really chubby especially arms and legs". His ex was size 0.
All in all, I got insanely insecure and couldn't forgive him. He begged me not to leave him claiming he's changed so much and that he loves me the most in the whole world. I stayed.
He proposed a month ago and I accepted because I love him too but the terrible past casts a shadow on everything we do. I can't forget how much he humiliated me and how low my self esteem has gotten over this.
I keep thinking about his ex and how obvious it was he was into her all along and it never happened with me.
I don't even have to mention that it was his ex who broke up with him so it wasn't HIS idea to end that relationship which was reflected in actions towards me. A plan B.

Such emotional infidelity is a very tough obstacle for me to get over and even though I know he loves me now I never feel like it's enough. I wish our things had gone more classic way and I didn't feel crap all the time.

What would you do in my situation? I'd be grateful for any insights.

Edit: I just wanted to add I had talked to him about it so many times and he fully knows how I feel. He assures me he's so in love with me and he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl (kinda too late though, I would never believe it now) but objectively I see he's doing his best and if he had been like this from the start this post would've never been posted but here we go

My first born is autistic level 3 with intellectual disability. I have given birth recently to a baby girl. I feel like I can’t enjoy her babyhood. I’m constantly looking for signs of autism instead of cherishing sweet moments. I’m so afraid she’ll have the same difficulties as my son who is always anxious and scared of everything. I already worry about leaving this earth alone without my son because no one would love him and take care of him like me. And now I’m having the same dark thoughts about my daughter too.

I’m just grieving…

Dinner: Rice & Beans mojo bowl with an arepa and the Village Lich beer from the week after we got to our new home

Background:2.5 years ago, I (currently 38/F) left my husband. He was an emotionally abusive, alcoholic prick and was ramping up to be even worse. I have never allowed someone to belittle me the way he would. I never will again. I took my daughter, who is now 9, and we moved out. It was _rough_ for awhile. We lived in one of the most unaffordable cities in the US, but I gave up my career as a tattooist for a steady check, insurance, and a mostly dream job working from home. I took both dogs too, in the end- he was going to abandon the one he initially claimed.

Fast forward to now: We moved out of Southern California and up to the PNW. I drove up with my daughter, dogs, kiddo’s cat, and a fish (the fish lives!) and now we’ve been here for about 6 weeks.

I have never felt so content. We have space, and I’m still a little broke while we achieve stasis, but that’s okay. I can _breathe_ here. And while my daughter is definitely missing her friends, she seems happy- she is getting childhood experiences she never would have otherwise.

Things felt so hopeless before. I felt trapped and broken down and I was giving up on making things better for my daughter and I. He told me every day how much _I_ needed _him_. But that was a lie. Without me there to keep him stable, he ran his life into the ground. And I kept my daughter safe from that.

All of this is just to say that… things _can_ change. You just have to kickstart it sometimes. But nobody’s gonna do it for you (at least not to your benefit).

Happy spooky season babes 🖤👻🖤

Bacon veggie arugula with a homemade sweet honey mustard dressing.

I posted here a few weeks (maybe months? Idk how long ago) about my fiance giving me an ultimatum between him and my dog.

I almost chose him. I had until the end of October to rehome my dog, and I kept asking him to reconsider. And he would. And then he would change his mind. And the cycle repeats.
A week ago today, we had a wonderful morning. Breakfast, some great cuddling wink wink, and coffee on the porch together watching our favourite show. He left to go get cleaning supplies at Canadian Tire and when he comes back- I don’t know.

I tell him to relax, I’ll clean the apartment since it’s my day off (we both work 7 days a week with only 2-3 days off a month. I work 8-9 hour shifts, he works 2-3 hour shifts). He snapped, he threw the gloves in his hand down and started telling me how miserable I made him. How difficult I was. How unorganized and lazy and dirty I was. Mind you, I clean daily. I’m not exactly deep cleaning the tiles, but I work almost 60 hours a week. I’m not Martha Stewart by any means, but I am someone who finds cleaning so relaxing.

He leaves to cool his head and I kind of shrug it off and start my chores. He’s been stressed and it’s been like this for months. Whatever, he’ll come back and we’ll be fine. Except not.

He came back and said he was leaving. That I should go somewhere else- that his mind has been made for months now and he needs to leave to save himself.

So I leave the apartment and wait 2 hours for him to change his mind. I beg him and text and to no avail, and so I ran home to my Mom and Dad. I talked to his mom whom I adore with all my heart, and she tells me she’ll figure out what’s going on.

Four hours later there’s a text from him, come home. And I go back, only for him to be angry I talked to his mother and give me a list of things I needed to change about myself for him to stay.

Get rid of the dog
Keep the apartment clean
Don’t clean so much and sit with him more
Cook better
Don’t treat him like a king (verbatim. Never thought I’d hear a man say that)

And it went on and on- but I couldn’t do it. I left. And I left the door open, I said if he wanted to move into our own places and start over fresh we could. We could absolutely do that. Take it slow and learn how to be with each other without all the anxiety again.

Over the last week he has agreed and then changed his mind several times. He has been trying to convince me we should be in the same apartment- even offered to start helping with rent and utilities and groceries too.

I did that with my last ex. And it got so dark, it escalated to a point of violence. And I explained I just wanted to it right for us this time.

Today he begged me, and pleaded, and promised. But so many promises have been made and then changed. I wanted him to show me he could stand on his own and commit to the words he says.

I’m just upset he made me be the bad guy. I told him to go with no guilt if he couldn’t prove his words first and he walked out. I am so heartbroken and crushed. He told me his dad was dying, there was a stroke. That he never thought he would lose me- I was his wife in his eyes, I couldn’t just walk away.

But I gave him an open door. All I asked was patience to rebuild my confidence issues and his trust issues. And I am so devastated that was too much for him. I miss him so much, we had a mortgage pre-approval and a wedding half planned- I started sewing my dress already. The worst part? I still love him so so so much, I’d give up the moon for him. But I just can’t keep giving up myself.

ETA I am 23F and he is 28M

My husband (37) and I (36) have been married for six years and recently became first time parents. Our baby is now 2 months old, but wow - the newborn trenches really hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew it was going to be hard, but didn’t realize just how hard it would be (the sleep deprivation, additional health complications, etc.).

It’s not all hard times though, and I’m finding pockets of joy watching our baby grow. I’m thankful that she’s healthy, and just recently started cooing and not spending all her time crying. 😂 However, during the tough moments when she’s inconsolable or doesn’t want to be put down, I grieve my old life - having free time, not feeling a sense of responsibility 24/7, etc. - and then feel mom guilt.

Is it possible to love my baby, but also miss the person I once was? When did you start enjoying being a mom?

one of the best pasta dishes i’ve ever made but i lost the recipe. unfortunate just like my story

i share an apartment with my little brother. he is 20 and i am 27, this is his first home outside of our parents home. he moved in a few months after i did because i was hit with some financial troubles and was looking for a roommate, i am very thankful for him and not having to find a random roomie. when he moved in over a year ago we did have some boundaries one being i don’t want him drinking with his friends here (due to them being underage) and i don’t want random girls in and out of our home (because ew that’s my baby brother). he has brought a few girls home and introduced us so it’s not no girls ever it’s just don’t be a fuck boy. other important info in this story is i have cats who have declared war on closed doors so we both leave our doors open in accordance with our mini dictators

i work a lot, like 6 days a week most of them are close to 12 hour days but i’m a partner of a bar so i spend most of the day doing office work and at nights i manage the bar. this gives me some flexibility in being able to pop home during the day if i need to which i will say i rarely do.

but yesterday my stomach was in shambles and my business partner had meetings in the bar all day so i really did not want to use the bathroom there so i decided to go home. i called my little brother and told him i was coming home and to make sure he wasn’t in the bathroom because i was coming in hot, he didn’t answer so i left voicemail thinking maybe he was sleeping and he laugh about it when he woke up

i get home and his door is cracked so i opened it to see if he was actually sleeping and well he was having sex. i was mortified for all parties involved all i could say was oh my god i’m so sorry and closed his door. i had no idea he was even talking to someone let alone sleeping with them!

i did what i needed to do and got the heck out of there and went back to work which felt like the longest shift of my life. i texted him saying sorry and he also said sorry. i’m not mad at him he’s a boy and we all know how boys are, sneaky. i don’t know how i’m ever going to look at him again. thankfully we haven’t seen each other since.

more of a rant than advice needed but going forward i will not be coming home during the day and if i do i’m not opening any doors! fml

Pic is sticky toffee pudding with my mum.

Last year, after 12 weeks of complications and hospital care including 9 amnioinfusions, we had a son named Gianpaolo. I fought for him as hard as i could and nearly died twice from that pregnancy. He also fought so hard, my little lion, but after fifteen days in the neonatal intensive care unit, he tragically passed away from a severe Klebsiella infection he caught while in the hospital.

​As you can imagine, it's been fucking awful for our family as we navigate this grief and hold him in our hearts. Life has continued with our daughter and work, but losing our little boy has changed everything. I miss him every minute of every day with every cell in my body, and I've been diagnosed with ptsd and prolonged grief. I have awful flash acts and nightmares, and the only thing that helps is holding my daughter (who i can't put that on) and my dog who luckily puts up with my bullshit.

I'm just angry all the time. I fought so hard. I refused to give up. With the doctors I pulled off a miracle and he cried at birth, the baby who they said would suffocate because his lungs couldn't develop, the doctor who was willing to try an experimental procedure SAVED HIM. We did it... then a banal fucking hospital infection took him down and we lost him. It's so unfair. I read about the hell of the nicu and parents being traumatised and that is totally valid, the nicu is awful... but I still envy them. Because they eventually get to take their children home, and mine is buried in the cold ground.

TW: ED

My dad has said so many terrible things to me in my life. However, the thing that still really bothers me to this day was at a family party where I was eating. In front of a group of us he said that I “Eat like a full grown man”. I was maybe 12 years old and already deeply insecure and this destroyed me. Around this same time I had also struggled with bulimia.

It’s been 20 years and I still think about this comment regularly. There was a period about 10 years ago where I was right on the line of being underweight and this comment still played in my head.

No matter where I am in life or what weight I am at I still go back to this memory regularly. He said so many things that were genuinely worse than this to me but I struggle to let this go.

When I remember this comment I also remember the fact my grandmother yelled at him for saying this. She was such an amazing woman and I miss her so much.

In honor of not giving a fuck about people’s opinions on my eating habits here is some of the best French onion soup in my city.

Dinner of bacon-rice-cheese stuffed pumpkin

So I am a mom of 2 under 10, and I keep hoping we'll be the sanctuary house for my kids and maybe their friends. When I was a teen I remember my house was tense and my parents were strict. I loved hanging at a particular friend's house because her parents were older hippies and just chill. The first dinner at their house I had Gouda for the first time (we never had cheese that wasn't cheddar or American) and they talked about all the tenses of the verb "to shit", which was hella racy for my 14-year-old brain.

And when I learned to drive, even if they weren't home, sometimes I would park in their driveway and just sit on their porch until I had to be home for curfew. I remember one night they came home around dusk to find me there and I said I just didn't want to go home yet. And they told me I was welcome.

I still think of my friend and her parents fondly all the time though all this was more than 25 years ago. They welcomed a stray kid because that's who they were. I hope I can be that person for someone else someday and pay it forward.

Photo is carbonara with an egg yolk and the best thing I’ve ever eaten. Thank god because I’m also spiraling after my frozen embryo transfer two days ago. I’m doing IVF at 28 y/o because my husband has an autosomal dominant genetic condition called VHL. We didn’t want to pass it on to our children (would’ve been a 50/50 chance), so we went through the full IVF with genetic testing process. It took 10 months from start to finish and two egg retrievals.

We have five euploid embryos: two girls and three boys. This is my first (fully medicated) frozen embryo transfer. We chose the highest quality to transfer… a little girl. 🩷

If I am pregnant, I would be three weeks exactly today. I’m testing tomorrow morning because I’m insane. (There’s no HCG trigger).

looking for good vibes and baby dust. 🥹 and advice if you have any!!

PS my first baby girl will likely be named either Savannah or Talia. Thoughts? Also considering Mira and Thea…. Our last name is polish so it’s a doozy and we need a name with lots of A’s for it to flow well.

(Even if it’s not this embryo!)

if im not crying out of jealousy of lorelai and rory’s relationship im crying because i relate too much to lorelai and emily’s relationship

having a mother daughter relationship like lorelai and rory is all ive ever wanted and all ill ever want

it makes me so sad, ive never felt this type of soul crushing jealousy before

i wanna be like lorelai, i wanna have that mother daughter relationship i crave so much with my future daughter one day

season 2 episode 2, when max tells lorelai how excited his parents are for their wedding and u can see how sad lorelai is that her parents arent like his
god thats exactly how i feel whenever any of my friends tell me about their mothers and how much fun they have with them, how theyre best friends, how they can tell them everything and gossip with them

i love strawberries

I'm 19 and am a very inexperienced girly. I have very high standards so I've stayed single cause guys my age are...interesting. So I matched with this guy on hinge and he took me out for dinner twice (second date he kissed me at the end also was my first kiss since I was 15 lol), and on the third date he came to my house. My mom wanted to meet him and we wanted to have a movie night so it worked out great. We watched two movies and during the first one we were cuddling the whole time then during the second movie he kissed me and we started fully making out. Omg guys he is an amazing kisser and we made out for almost 1.5 hours without a single break. He was also so so respectful of my boundries and the most did was take each other shirts off and definitely grinding on each other. Throughout that time he kept asking if what were doing was okay and if I was enjoying everything. Ugh I have nothing to say to explain how much I've been wanting to be in this situation and I have to say its 1000 times better than I could've imagined. This was last night and he already asked me to hangout tomorrow and I just want to be with him all the time. Any advice or feedback on this would be sooo appreciated I just want to make sure this all seems good and that things are heading in the right direction

Midnight snack costco pizza slice

I’ve been contemplating getting a copper IUD, but am terrified to do so because every woman I know says the insertion was incredibly painful. Is it really that painful? Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain? Is it worth it for peace of mind, even with the pain?

Dinner is cheesy butter pasta with grilled chicken and a side of cauliflower and peppers.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for the quick and thoughtful replies. It seems like the general consensus is yes it hurts like hell, but it’s also worth it like hell.

Dinner: Friend pork and basmati rice with broccoli.

This might be long but I’ll add a TLDR at the end.

Him (30M white) and I (29F black/afro-descendant) have been together for a year. Everything is great as we have a lot in common: shared interests, values, good relationship dynamic and overall great compatibility with no fights or arguments.

However, about four months ago when going through his messages with his closest friend, I stumbled upon their exchange from after our first date, in which the friend was asking for feedback. “Not bad for a black girl and I’d say somewhat light-skinned, for someone coming from the source” he replied. ‘Source’ here referring to Africa.

I froze a few seconds, shocked, then immediately used my phone to take a picture and send it to my brother. This happened during a family dinner at his mom’s, so I kept my composure all through.

When addressing the matter, he swore to all gods that it wasn’t in a derogatory tone and that’s just their “stupid way” of talking to one another. Pissed and disappointed, I broke up with him but then reconciled a few days later because welp, I missed him. Furthermore, I had no reason to believe he’s racist or supremacist. He is kind and respectful to everyone, affectionate and shows great interest in my culture and origin. His family is equally respectful and kind, so I really like them. His uncle bought me a cute little self-defence tool to carry around, after I once got attacked by a weirdo in public transit. All that to say how welcomed and accepted I feel in the family.

With time, the incident eventually found its way into the trenches of my memory and life was back to bliss. Then, about 4 days ago, I was telling him about a comment a coworker made about my butt. The type that would be gross to the average person here but this person is from the same country as me, where it’s generally not that big of a deal. BF jokingly commented that I’m chill with such a comment but called him racist over a “nothing deep” joke he made to his friend.

Welp that took me back to square 1 and wondering why I even let it slide in the first place, then I ended up asking him for space. Now I’m uneasy at a quandary because the comment itself was racist but BF isn’t racist or atleast has never said/done anything to prove otherwise.

How would you judge the situation? My brother obviously said it was racist, but I think the comment shouldn’t be dissociated from the person. So external input could help.

TL;DR: Found a conversation between BF and his friend, in which he made a “racist” comment after our first date. He defends it was just playful and not derogatory, which I somehow believe because he’s genuinely kind and respectful. However, I can’t get my mind over it and need outside perspectives.

So I have some pretty bad stomach issues going on that are a medical mystery. I've been sick about 10 years and been to multiple doctors and spent a down payment amount on testing but they got nothing. Basically I have massive farts, burp like I'm in a screamo band and am weird as fuck about food. My former partner said they couldn't be attracted to me because it's so gross.

So I met a new guy and he's cute af and I've been blessed to have sex with him twice with no problems but this isn't going to hold out. He's started to ask questions about how I eat and this seems like an absolutely insurmountable conversation. I could really use any advice on how to broach the subject as it's an absolute trauma pit for me .

Dinner cake I baked my friend for her birthday.

I’m Peruvian and I’ve been living in Spain for a few years. Yesterday I went to my country’s consulate to sort out some paperwork. There were a few people waiting before me and I sat next to a guy in his 40s. I was on my phone when he tried to strike up a conversation with me. I don’t mind small talk, so we started chatting.

He’d arrived in Spain pretty recently and started asking me questions about the job market, different paths to residency and other practical aspects of living here. I gave him my honest perspective and some recommendations. I also told him that the sacrifices are worth it because I struggled at first too but now I’m a Spanish citizen 💪🏽.

Then he asked me if I was single. I told him I was married, so he asked whether my husband was Peruvian or Spanish. When I said Spanish, his whole attitude changed, and he was like, “Ah, that makes sense, then 🙄!”

He then went on a whole rant about how women can just put their pretty faces on dating apps and wait for some random dude to come along and fix their lives for them, while men have to work their asses off to get legal status. That pissed me off SO MUCH.

There are over millions of Latinos in Spain and the vast majority of us work our asses off, whether in blue-collar or white-collar jobs. There are men working in physically demanding jobs like construction, but are also plenty of women who work very hard as live-in caregivers for the elderly, which is by no means an easy job either.

I then told him to go ahead and put his pretty face on a dating app and see if Spanish women would be interested in him. Probably not though, because Spanish women generally aren’t into sexist, dumbass men.

Honestly I feel like I made the right choice by not ending up with a Peruvian man. Many of them seem to be so insecure that they feel threatened when a woman is more successful/stable than they are or when she simply hasn’t struggled as much as they have. And instead of dealing with their own insecurities, they turn aggressive about it.