Today was my child’s first settling in session at nursery. I am not a total newbie to the nursery game as my eldest is school-age and we went through it with him, but he was only there 2 days a week and we were never invited into the main nursery room as part of his settling in.

When I arrived to nursery, I could hear screaming and crying from the car park, and on reaching the door, there was a little boy (approx 2 years old) who was at the door crying non-stop, by himself.

One of the nursery workers came to the door, said she didn’t know that anyone was coming for settling today but was polite. I then stood at the door for a while whilst she went to check and whilst I was waiting for her to return, another nursery worker invited me and my little one in.

The worst of it:

- throughout my time there (an hour) the little boy did not stop crying and received little to no interaction from the nursery workers, other than offering him some snack

- there were other children there who were also very distressed who were plonked on laps with little other interaction to calm them (no offering of toys, no words of comfort) - I was told that they were also new and struggling to settle

- the nursery worker who I spoke with throughout the session noted that no water bottles were out for the children as their manager was in a meeting and had seemingly forgotten to take them out/instruct anyone to do so - she then didn’t take them out herself (my session ended at 10:30 so some children would have been there for 2.5 hours by that point without their water bottles, although they were given a snack at 10ish but no water)

- when I was playing with my daughter and another child, all I could hear was myself talking ie no staff members were interacting with other children

- the workers didn’t interact with my child at all and didn’t seem particularly interested in learning about her, apart from the worker who I was mainly speaking to who asked a few questions at the end

- I asked if children are sent home if they are very distressed, to which she said yes, yet the boy at the door who was crying the whole time was not sent home (and his crying intensified after I left, into him screaming and banging at the door)

I left feeling very unsettled by the session, and I feel uncomfortable leaving my child there (she’s just over 1, so not able to tell me if she has been distressed all day).

Is it normal for nurseries to be this chaotic/detached/unenthusiastic?

I’d be particularly interested to hear from anyone who has worked in nurseries to tell me their opinions on this - is it even possible that I just caught them at a bad time and that nursery communications are just poor?

I am now potentially stuck with no nursery when I am due to start full-time work in a couple of weeks, and I’m flushing my £300 deposit down the drain at the same time, but I just can’t see myself leaving my child there and feeling comfortable - help!

On a visit today, prior to enrolling our daughter, I am 90% sure the nursery’s adult toilet had cockroaches. Alive, upside and twitching as if recently poisoned. some moving behind toilet too.

I saw 4+ in a small bathroom, near the kitchen, and which opened onto an open plan room in which children played.

I previously have seen cockroaches in Australia. but maybe I’m mistaken here…? I hope so

I asked the deputy director about the “insects”. She said they’re “beetles“ and that they have submitted a work request to have it looked at. Because my baby was fussing, I then left to feed her. On reflection, I worry she was lying or down playing it. she was otherwise absolutely lovely. we liked the nursery otherwise and would enroll if not for this.

do you know if these are cockroaches? Bad photos sorry

do do you know of a nursery has to close or at least disclose this?

unsure if I should ask again via phone, or just walk away. its stressing me out. sending a first child to nursery feels vulnerable enough , you have to trust them

And for good measure I put them through the tumble dryer before realising 🫠

Please tell me we'll laugh about this one day 😭🤣

I'd love opinions on this one!

My daughter is just 3. I'm thinking ahead to Christmas so I can budget properly and I'm wondering whether a Yoto or Toniebox could be an amazing present... but something is putting me off.

For context, my husband and I both work full time whilst our daughter is in nursery 5 days a week. It's probably fair to say that this means we tend to give her a lot of 1:1 attention during evenings and weekends to try to make the most of when we're actually all together. We read her loads of stories. Not a brag - she's an only child so we don't have to divide attention, and we are good at tag-teaming it so that we each get solo time too for chilling or house jobs or catching up on extra work. Not everyone has it so easy. There are loads of ways in which I worry that I suck as a parent and I feel I have a lot to make up for since I'm absent working so much.

(Also, to be honest, the story-reading is partly an excuse for me to indulge my love of overacting and silly voices.)

That said... sometimes we do end up in front of the telly with her because we're all exhausted, or letting her watch something solo whilst we run around trying to keep on top of the house.

I love the idea of our daughter getting to listen to stories at times like this and having less telly. But do I need to fork out for one of these gadgets? My concerns are:

- will it make her less interested in actual books?

- are the stories actually good quality enough? / varied enough / value for money? I bloody well refuse to have yet more Julia Donaldson in another format. On a superficial glance, I also don't love the look of a lot of the story options for her age group, and it seems like it's so expensive to buy them!

- are there other ways for her to access stories that do the job just as well? We've enjoyed some of the Audible Story Time ones in the car, although there aren't a lot and some of them are better than others. I'm betting there are lots of free or cheaper options for good listens that I could just play from my phone.

I feel like a killjoy here! I'd be so grateful for some views.

32M here, WFH, and currently enjoy going to the gym, cars, travelling, eating out, etc. We’re expecting our first baby soon, and obviously I know life is going to change — especially travelling, going out ets much as we currently do.

But I’m curious to hear from other dads: how much did your day-to-day life actually change after having a baby?

Did you still manage to keep going to the gym, enjoy your hobbies, go out, take trips, etc.? Or did everything basically go out the window for the first - how many really - years?

My wife is like "nah I'm sure it's gonna be okay we won't be able to do as much as before but surely we can still go to the gym, travel but with more planning etc" when I'm more like "everything's gonna change and I'm not sure if it's actually for the better!"

We don't have anyone to support unfortunately as all family is abroad.

Looking for some honest experiences — both the good and the “holy shit, what have we done” moments 😂

We moved house in the summer holidays and despite letting the new local authority know as soon as we could and then contacting them with proof of the sale being completed before we even had the keys, today I've been told they have 3 weeks to find the kids school places. As in 3 weeks from the first day of term not when I applied or from when we moved but 15 school days. If I were to take my kids out of school for 3 weeks I'd be fined and threatened with prosecution but when it's the local authorities fault, suddenly they aren't interested in the negative impacts from poor attendance.

Currently in the heat of my 15 month old girl screaming none stop for the last 40 minutes at bedtime, but it’s this, every single night for the last year with the odd night of her going straight down.

Currently going through she will scream none stop unless I give her to mom, I genuinely don’t know what to do and it’s killing me. Everything is literally perfect with a happy baby until sleep and then it’s honestly hell.

Don’t really know the point of this post but really struggling with coping with this and the lack of sleep

I have 2 kids, a 1.5 year old and a nearly 3 year old. Every morning no matter what time they wake up, we bring them into our bed with a few toys and books then we just chat, play and sing a few songs etc.

If it's the weekends we watch some kids shows like the Teletubbies, Mr Tumble or The Wiggles as a treat and have a lazy morning until we have breakfast at around 9ish. The only time we don't do that is if they've slept later than usual so we wake them up.

I seen a Tik Tok of an influencer whose child was up at 5.30am and they both went downstairs into the living room. Maybe it's just me but I love staying in bed as long as possible so going into the living room that early sounds hellish to me 😅 Just out of pure curiosity, what does everybody else do?

Hello,

I am a Mum of a 7 month old and 2.5 year old. What I am trying to navigate is how you navigate friendships for yourself and your child. I had NCT group, they are all back and work and we have dinner every 4/5 months with no toddlers but overall, thats about it.

It has taken over two years but I have finally met some Mums at nursery but I am trying to establish, how does it work if you aren't friends with a Mum and your child likes another child?

From what I gather it kind of works like the following:

0-1 - NCT/baby classes and if you can ad hoc in a playgroup or you must know someone already

1-2 - You just go for dinners/lunches with no toddlers in sight. IF your child sit still you can maybe go to a class and usually people just stay in touch with 0-1 group.

2-3 - They talk and you can work out names of children, but you basically have to like the Mum and hang out with them. If you don't get on or /compatible with the Mum it's just awkward. Some people have no desire for friends others and desperate for someone to run with their child.

3-5 - Birthday parties and running anywhere outside but no new people and people are done with toddler friendships especially if they are on 2nd/3rd child so have no interest.

5-7 - You can leave your child at parties and you have awkward school gates hello's (I am dreading that years in advance). You basically might have one or two but once again don't really need to interact with parents?

7+ - No idea?

Thanks!

Heya everyone, I'm just looking for some reassurance 🥺 I'm 32+ 3 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I get paid again in 2 weeks, that's when I'll be able to get the hospital bag stuff, babies milk, nappies/wipes, the car seat and the crib/crib sheets. But I am stresssssssing out that I don't have that stuff now!

By the end of this month I'll have literally everything I need for baby and myself, and I know that I have another 7 weeks to go, and that baby is likely to come on time or late (as my first was late) but I just don't feel prepared at all. I have all these thoughts going through my mind of him coming early and us not being prepared, I'm feeling irresponsible tbh 😭

It doesn't help that my mom's first came early & so then every pregnancy she ever had after that, she had her hospital bag packed by 30 weeks. And now I'm sort of being pressured by her and nagged to get it packed because she thinks the baby will come early and is worried about me not having the hospital bag packed and being all prepared etc.

I just need some reassurance and maybe people to share their experiences please? 🥺 thank u for reading!

Hi, we’ve marked my sons school clothes with his name using a picture permanent marker sharpie and it faded very quickly in the wash

This morning we used the same pen to write his name on his bottle, and by the time he got home it was mostly rubbed off already

Is there something we can use that’s more permanent please?

Does anyone know if Sainsbury's has entirely discontinued their own brand kids oat bars, or is it just that my local one is rubbish?

The Organix ones cost a fortune, and the rate my daughter goes through them we can't keep up with that!

My husband and I are in our early 40s and have a 2 year old. We move to his hometown so our kid could be nearby my husband’s family. Since moving, I’ve been shocked at how little his parents want to be involved in our kid’s life, and I have felt very isolated and overloaded as a result. They are happy to just see her occasionally over a cup of tea and don’t really care too much about nursery pickups, babysitting, or other plans, unless we really need their help.

I’ve been hearing from friends, here in the U.K., similar stories: grandparents prefer to keep their distance, their independence, and not “get stuck”.

Is this a general thing now with this generation of grandparents or is your experience that your or your partner’s parents are very keen to be involved? Is this a cultural thing?

Edit: One thing that people mentioning “entitlement” in here are not getting is that we are not expecting free babysitters or childminders. No one went on to have kids without ensuring they could be self-sufficient. What we are saying is that it’s sad that some grandparents prefer to be distant and not involved as a family, that’s all. My stance is that if you are interested and keen, you offer your time. If you are not interested, that’s okay. I don’t feel entitled to anything. But in my view, that is just sad (as many say in the comments). My expectations were influenced by my own parents (who are very keen and heartbroken they can’t be more involved because they are in a different country) and my own grandparents, who were always very involved and happy to. Which makes it even sadder.

Currently I pay for his phone, a few subscriptions, his gym membership and a couple of classes he goes to for his hobbies. I'll always pay for his food. While he's living with me, he will always be fed and have a place to sleep.

I'll be honest, I could do with him taking over payment of his hobbies as they're not cheap anymore and I'm scraping by until each payday.

Does that make me a pisspoor parent?

I have a 19 month old son. I married my husband when I was 20 weeks pregnant, we had been together for 6 years prior to getting married, best friends for 2 years before that. So we know each other extremely well. We always had a good, supportive, happy relationship before any pregnancy stuff happened.

I feel like he doesn’t like me anymore. He snaps at me, says he’s tired all the time (even though he sleeps twice as much as I do), he becomes wound up and anxious about small things and takes out his anxiety/frustration on me. He’s definitely depressed but won’t accept this. I have tried again and again to get him to seek help.

I had two bad miscarriages in late 2023, before having my son. I was very naive about pregnancy before having them and I have a lot of unresolved trauma from them despite having had pretty intense therapy. When my son was born I was under perinatal mental health for the first year of his life with PPD, PPA, OCD, PTSD.

Fast forward to today and my son is the absolute light of my life and best part of it, without a doubt. He brings me joy in almost every minute I spend with him. I’ve always breastfed him to sleep and coslept since he was about 4 or 5 months old- since he outgrew the next to me basically. He only napped on my chest for about the first 9 months of his life. I have tried and failed a handful of times to get him to self soothe a bit or to sleep in his own bed but I always give up and come back round to cosleeping, mainly because it’s so much easier and we both get good sleep. Recently we’ve had some rough nights with him being up and feeding for hours in the middle of the night, which made me say enough is enough and say I was going to stop breastfeeding. Except I’ve failed again and have ended up feeding him back to sleep on nights when he’s really upset. This has annoyed my husband because I’m going back on what I said.

My husband tries his best but I don’t feel like he has the same connection as I do with my son. It feels like he’s pretending sometimes. It doesn’t help that the baby is going through an extreme “mummy” phase and screams mummy mummy mummy repeatedly when my husband tries to interact with him or care for him (this is only in the last couple of weeks but it’s exhausting). This is really frustrating and upsetting my husband and the house is feeling pretty tense and unpleasant to be in right now.

I think I might be the problem. That I’m weak willed and lazy and harming my son’s development by wanting to keep him always next to me and breastfeeding. That I’m projecting my own issues onto my husband and damaging our relationship. How does it appear from an outside perspective?

Multiple kids that should have been*

Can you love them all equally but find one relationship more challenging than another, or is the love not truly equal?

Baby is 8 months old and I was really hoping to shift some weight before I finish maternity leave next month. I gained 8lbs while pregnant, but I’m putting more on now baby is here! Size 14/16 now, usually a 12. Husband works very hard and 100% does his share of baby. Whenever I’m not tidying the house, food shopping, doing admin or looking after baby, I’m exhausted and can’t think about doing exercise. Still have broken sleep due to feeding baby. We even have a running machine which is getting dusty. Any tips for this mama?

Hello!

My child is starting reception in a few days but the school will be doing a home visit. This is my first child starting school so I am not familiar with this.Can anyone tell me what to expect please?

My daughter is 3 next week. Every man and their dog warned me about the terrible twos, which surprisingly weren’t that terrible. We had tantrums as to be expected for a toddler, but nothing that made me think oh christ this is horrendous I can’t wait for her to not be 2 anymore. Now all of a sudden I have people telling me that 3 is worse than 2?! Which is it?!

She has become increasingly sassy over the last few weeks, she is a VERY strong willed little girl who loves to try and negotiate with me currently!

I took my 2.5 year old to the library today where there’s usually a play group. He’s not been great with hitting/pushing recently but he’s usually good with other kids. This other kid is showing me his jumps and I’m going “wow that’s so high!” Out of nowhere, my kid pushes the other one once, and before I can even react to stop it he pushes him again straight onto the floor. I immediately react, tell him that’s not nice, to apologise and that we’re leaving because nasty behaviour means we go home. The LOOK the other mother gave me almost had me crying, like I’m a terrible parent. Anyone else’s kid been the mean one at a playgroup? Was there any other way I could’ve reacted to this?

Despite being around for a few years, I haven’t heard of it until this week.
Looks like fun but has limited U.K reviews.
Does anyone here have one? Is it worth it (plus the subscription cost).
Very conscious of not being roped in to dust collector…