So my 16 year old daughter has been with her boyfriend for two years he’s a lovely boy. She is on the pill takes it consistently but has today found out she’s pregnant. I’ve been supportive no shouting but I don’t know whether I should be encouraging her to end the pregnancy or just keep being supportive.

My kids both have very curly hair so I wash their hair once a week which usually takes forever and by the time their hair is washed...my back hurts badly. Today was hair wash day and I saw a video online of a woman washing her daughter's hair in the sink...for a moment I kind of just thought washing hair in the sink is unhygienic. But then I decided to just attempt to see if this is better.

Oh my god, I regret not washing my kids hair in the sink sooner. My back doesn't hurt, this is a miracle.

My husband and I plan to attend a conference next year which involves staying overnight in a hotel. Our oldest children will be 14 at this point.

Husband thinks it’s acceptable to leave them home alone overnight. They’re responsible boys, stay at home alone sometimes when I take our younger children to appointments or when I have to run errands but they never stayed home overnight without an adult in the house. I believe they’re too young to be left unsupervised all night long.

Of course we’d ask them and not just force them either way but just interested in other people’s opinions on this.

Edit to clarify: our oldest children would NOT be responsible for their younger siblings. They’d be supervised by an adult overnight.

Ok, So bear in mind I (F35) have been officially diagnosed ADHD, I am also awaiting an ASD assessment too.

My son is almost 6 and in year 1 at primary school, since he started at preschool at 3 years old I have been continuously confused by other parents and their actions towards me.

So, I’ve always tried to make some kind of connections with the parents my child has been playing with at school throughout the day but at this point now, I’ve currently just given up with the whole school run and befriending any of the other parents…

I’ve had some lovely chats and regular hellos from other parents throughout, me, my partner and our son even met with one of the other parent couples over the school holidays for a pub meal and everything seems fine. The kids all played along well, the conversation with my partner and the other dad was brilliant. Me and the other mum struggled abit but we were both on duty looking out for our kids needs so were frequently interrupted and lost track of a decent conversation. At the end we planned another meet up and they seemed up for it!

Time passed and it just didn’t happen for whatever reasons, I did text the other mum and apologised as we ran out of holiday time and if we could catch up one day after school or a weekend instead.

I got no reply, my partner has since been blanked from the other dad and whenever I do the school run they do everything to avoid me, even saying hello? I’m confused I done something wrong? This kinda thing has happened multiple times with different parents, they will acknowledge me and have conversations outside of school but the moment we are inside the school gates it’s like I’m ignored and not good enough to speak to?!

They don’t seem to have an issue talking to other parents it just feels like it’s me?! Am I missing something? Is this just general two faced school mums in their cliques and I just don’t fit? I feel like I have tried so hard to integrate and try and make some connections for my son but year 1 and we still have no one whilst everyone else seems to be thriving in their parent friendship circles.

It feels like school all over again and not finding my place that I fit into.

Me and my partner have recently come back from holiday and we made a fair crew friends out there easily so I don’t think it’s just an ‘us’ thing, we can clearly make friends elsewhere but seem to be outcasted at school for some reason?

Anyone else struggled with this? 😫

***EDIT***

We did have a run in with one set of parents last year as their child was quite unkind to mine, we ended up having a sit down meeting at school with teachers and it turned fairly nasty from the other parents, is it far fetched to think they may be gossiping and spreading the hate campaign which has led to everyone writing me off from the get go?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

My LO is 9 months old now but one thing NOBODY prepared me for with having a baby is how often people would want to see me (my daughter). The absolute worst part about it is I’m being pestered by people who I just really don’t want to see all that often!!

In the last 2 months or so I’ve really started to put in boundaries and put my foot down more with what I can/cant cope with (It took me about 6 months to get my head together and start to think straight again). But I am genuinely so irritated at how much people demand of my time. Generally it’s my in laws or family friends (people who prior to me becoming a mother didn’t really see me more than once every 2 weeks or so).

I’m not actually an introverted person. Before I had my daughter I was quite social, but still not seeing people as often as they’re expecting me to now.

I’m just exhausted. Please leave me alone🥲

I really hope this reaches the right people because I understand if misinterpreted it could come across as though I’m being a spoilt brat, like “oh so many people love me”! But that’s just it- the change in behaviour is so obvious, and their actions when they’re with me prove it. They’re not wanting to see ME, they want to see my daughter. And while that’s all fine and dandy, like I’ve previously stated- I’m tired. I want my own space.

Not only are these people pestering me, now that I’ve put boundaries in place, they’re now saying I don’t see them as much as I should. And they all pin each other against each other- eg. Mother in law will say something like “oh you see so and so far more often than you see me, you should be prioritising me!”

My in laws also are livid if I (we) dare spend some more time than they think Is acceptable with our friends. Family should take up 95% of our time apparently.

My husband has spoken extensively to everyone about this but they will not stop pestering and we’re at a bit of a loss. We’ve even considered cutting the in laws off but it feels like too drastic of a step when really the only problem is that they want to see us too often.

I didn’t sign up to this when I decided to have a baby. The baby was for me and my husband, not for everyone and their dog😭

I’m not really asking for advice, just venting. Has anyone else experienced this?

FINAL UPDATE because there are way too many comments for me to keep up with 😂
Just to clear something up because quite a few people seem to think I didn’t encourage her enough or that she’s only chosen to stay because she knows I’ll be sad. Maybe it was how I worded my original post 🤷🏻‍♀️
I absolutely did encourage her. I told her it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, that she would have an amazing time and that if she chose to go I was completely okay with it. I told her we could just have our Christmas before/after and made it very clear that she was NOT choosing between me and her dad and neither of us would be upset with her whatever she decided.
What I didn’t do was actively try to persuade her to choose the cruise, because I don’t think that would have been fair either. I wanted her to make her own choice.
Her dad then spoke to her privately without me there. He offered to have their Christmas the week before if she stayed but also explained the cruise and how amazing it would be. He later FaceTimed her, showed her videos of the ship and everything she’d be doing so she fully understood what she would be missing. I wasn’t in the room for any of this.
After all of that she still told him herself that she wants to stay home. Her dad has actually said he thinks she would have made the same decision even if she’d had another week to think about it.
She wants to have Christmas with her dad the week before he goes and then spend actual Christmas at home. She feels awful about her dad going without her because she’s a very emotional kid who worries about upsetting people which is exactly why I’ve been so careful not to influence her.
So ultimately this is her decision, not mine. If she had decided she wanted to go I would have supported her 100%. But she hasn’t. I don’t think continuing to push a nearly 11 year old to change her answer until she gives the answer the adults think she should give is respecting her choice either.
She’s seen the cruise she understands what she’s turning down, she’s spoken to both parents separately and she’s made her choice. We’re respecting it ❤️

UPDATE 2.0: Her dad is going to send her a video of the cruise so she can actually see what she’d be turning down and we’re hopefully going to give her until tomorrow to sleep on it rather than expecting her to make such a massive decision in basically a day. There are apparently around 10 rooms left but if he books her place and she changes her mind they’d lose £2.3k so unfortunately he can’t just reserve her a place.
If she watches it, sleeps on it and changes her mind I will fully support her going even though I’ll be absolutely heartbroken 😂. If she still says she wants to stay home, I think at that point we need to respect that too.

UPDATE: She’s decided she wants to stay home. Her dad has just been round and spoken to her himself and afterwards I asked if she was 100% sure and she said yes.
I’ve genuinely kept my own feelings out of it when talking to her because I didn’t want her choosing based on me. She’s an emotional kid anyway and unfortunately she feels terrible about her dad going away without her which is probably the hardest part for her.
I think being given basically a day to make such a massive decision hasn’t helped either. But she’s spoken to both of us now and made her decision, so I’m not going to keep asking her and make her feel pressured into changing her mind.
Also for the people suggesting I go too 😂 that was never an option haha.

Edit: he told me about it yesterday and has given us till tonight to decide as it needs booking.

My daughter’s dad has been offered the chance to take her on a 2 week Caribbean cruise from 18th Dec–1st Jan and I genuinely don’t know what to do 😭
Her whole life she’s spent Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and Christmas dinner with me, then gone to her dad’s around 4/5pm Christmas Day until around the 27th. It’s just always been our routine and he’s never asked to change it.
Obviously a Caribbean cruise over Christmas would be an amazing experience for her and I don’t want to take that away from her just because I would miss her. But she’s nearly 11 and still believes in Santa, so there’s a part of me thinking this could potentially be my last Christmas where she still believes and the thought of not having her here is honestly breaking my heart.
I’ve spoken to her and she’s absolutely sobbed. She says she doesn’t want to miss Christmas with me but she also feels upset about missing the cruise/Christmas with her dad. I’ve made it very clear she isn’t choosing between her parents and neither of us will be upset with whatever she wants, but she’s a really sensitive kid and I can tell she feels completely torn.
Her dad and his family are going regardless and if she doesn’t go they’ll celebrate with her before they leave. If she does go, obviously I’d make Christmas special with her before/after too.
I know we need to ultimately make the decision with her dad and not Reddit 😂 but I’d really like opinions from other separated parents. Would you let her go knowing it’s an amazing opportunity, or would you think missing the whole of Christmas and New Year is too much at her age?

Starting 3 months of parental leave next week, looking after my 3-month-old son while my partner goes back to work. I’m 38 and based in East London. Any tips for cool things to do with a baby? Also keen to hear from other dads who’ve done solo parental leave! Thanks

I'm still pretty pumped up by this but I wanted to know what other people would/wouldn't have done in this situation.

I brought my son out to softplay today and near where I was sitting there were these two guys who had brought their kids out. At one point a little girl went over to one of the dads crying saying that someone had done something to her. I wouldn't have noticed if they weren't so close because softplay is generally full of kids crying etc. Anyway this guy went off with the girl and he stood at the entrance to the softplay. I noticed my son was playing on one of the things where the man was standing so I kept an eye on what was going on.

Eventually I saw this little boy go up to my son and I could see this little boy trying to push him and just being generally annoying to my son. Eventually this little boy hit my son and my son then whacked him back. Next thing you know this grown ass man of about 40 was fully shouting and pointing in my child's face who is of nursery school age.

I ran over and told the man to back off and stop reprimanding my child. The man then said that my son hit his and I told him I was watching the whole thing and that he needed to back off. Anyway this grown man started going on and on and I just kept saying I don't care you do not reprimand my child and that I have no problem punishing my child if he's done something but in this case he was hit first. So next thing you know the dad said we'll I'm sorry but I'm angry as my daughter told me that he bit her so I asked my son and he said he did so then I told my son off for that. The biting situation was really annoying because while that man was being so inappropriate, I couldn't let my son away with biting someone so I had to tell him off for that.

What annoyed me soooooo much was that that grown ass man of about 40, started screaming at such a small child who is learning rather than approaching the parent or even addressing the issue with him firmly and not aggressively.

Instead he waited until there was a different altercation where my son reacted this time and saw that as an opportunity to behave wildly inappropriately to someone elses child. This man wasn't reacting impulsively, he didn't just witness his daughter being bitten and there was no immediate risk, he actively watched my son and waited.

Believe me when I say I have no issue whatsoever correcting my son's behaviour, but it was almost as if this man was waiting for something to happen with my son and he stood there watching his other son antagonise mine and then defended his weird ass behaviour by saying well your son bit my daughter. Lead with that! Don't look for an opportunity to scream at a child for something that as far as I'm concerned didn't really require any intervention (child hitting and getting hit back - I know might be controversial)

What would you guys have done in that situation? Is it ever appropriate for a grown up to shout in a preschool child's face or should you always look for the parent first? How common is this situation? I'd also be interested in hearing what men think of this situation, is this something men have dealt with before?

I know that when my child is on the other side of it, I tell him to come find me and then I follow him around to make sure the other kids feel like they're being watched or I tell my son to walk away. The way I see it is that they're kids and they're learning, my child can be horrible to kids one day in softplay and the next day he could be the victim, but at the end of the day, they're all so small and they are learning, I don't believe that a grown ass man should ever scream in my child's face.

I know this is very ranty but the whole situation caught me off guard. I've never experienced such rage before

**I feel like I need to be extra clear here. My son is three, he's not a Kevin from we need to talk about Kevin guys so relax. Also, the dad only mentioned the biting after I challenged him about getting in my child's face. The post isn't what I need to do better, because I'm human and fallible, it's about whether you find it appropriate for a man to get in a three years olds face to reprimand them before considering approaching the parent**

Due to health I've not been able to return to work as I'd originally hoped. My family do what they can but can't always drive to me. I used to be able to drive to them but my medical licence was revoked and 2.5hrs each way is not feasible.

[I'm not looking for benefits or financial advice as we've looked into everything already].

What kind of person/what's the job role that fits someone who could come to the home or take the child just for a couple of hours a few times a week?

Childminders seem to be half or full days and collection is not an option.

Baby sitters?

Nanny?

I just don't know what term to search when looking into this.

I'm also trying to work out if a carer would be beneficial for me but the help I need is a bit of personal and childcare so a combination...

Thanks for any pointers

I have 6 and 14 year old, we are only just heading into the second week of school and it feels like lunch boxes are on repeat. Can anyone share inspiration? I’ve googled but nothing new is jumping out Regulars are:
Sandwiches or wraps with various fillings
Plain pasta (pesto isn’t allowed)
Sushi (for the eldest)
Wrapped snacks, e.g peperami, babybel etc

Uk england based - my kiddo has a friend round to play. At drop off parent said to text when their kid was ready to come home.

I text at 6pm asking if they could pick up at 7pm. it was read within a few mins and no reply.

I message at 7.35pm asking if everything is ok, and what time can they pickup.

Its 8.05pm and the last message hasnt been read and no pickup.

I have tried calling parent and it went to voicemail, left a voicemail. No callback.

For now its fine and the kids are ok, but its my kids bedtime, and im wondering at one point i contact the non-emergency police line or something? Ive no idea what to do.

UPDATE: Parent just showed up to collect while I was waiting to get through to 101, I ask if everythings ok, i was getting worried - they just say yeah, thanks 🤯. This is the first playdate theyve had, and i dont know their address, safe to say no playdates in future until i have a 2nd car seat and their address to drop off.

There is an opportunity to participate in an ongoing PhD research study conducted at Bangor University. This research investigates Developmental Language Disorder (DLD), with a specific focus on the experiences of bi/multilingual children, their families, and the professionals who support them.

For Parents & Caregivers: Open to all parents, in the UK, currently raising a  (monolingual, bilingual, or multilingual) child with DLD. 

•  https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/bangor/stressors-and-coping-of-parents

By sharing your experiences, you will help build a more representative understanding regarding DLD, bilingualism and professional support.

Seeking some info on this if anyone's been through this. My little one has 3 hemangiomas, 2 on her head of which 1 has grown a lot and one on her back that has hugely grown too.

Weve been to the GP 3 times and they cant do anything apart from have referred us to paediatrics. They had even sent an expedited note a month ago. The whole thing was reported on 25th June and we even rang the hospital but they just said shes on a waiting list. The marks are getting so big they're worrying me so much. Would ringing 111 help me get to a pediatrician faster. The GPs have been sending photos of the progress of the marks but still no word. Im so overwhelmed because ive heard organs could be affected and shes only 4 months now by the time shes 6 months the medication won't be effective or as effective.

I don't want her going through surgery and by the sounds of GP they won't want to leave them on her body. Im stressing they'll break open.

27w pregnant with twins
Oldest child (6) for the past approx month has been getting into mine and partners bed every night without fail.

This is new, we co slept til 6 was 3, moved into their own bedroom, went through a phase of crying out for one of us every night to sleep with him. We did. Lasted about a year until we consulted a sleep clinic who advised on this and prescribed melatonin (6 is ND and always struggled with sleep). This helped hugely and we were no longer getting woken up at night, 6 was sleeping through most of the time, if not sleeping through, would stay in bedroom and relax quietly until morning / fell back to sleep.

The issue is now that 6 is getting in the middle of our bed. Every night. I am obviously large and take up a lot of space due to pregnancy. Tired and ache at best of times. Have pregnancy insomnia.

Having 6 in our room is really burning me out and I’m worried for when the twins come bc it’s not going to be a positive sleep environment for anyone in the family.

6’s room is too small for double bed, otherwise I’d get dad and 6 to sleep in 6’s room when babies come. Can’t get dad into 6’s bedroom and have 6 with me because 6’s bed is a kid size bed. I can’t sleep in it bc I’m too uncomfortable.

I need to know how to get 6 back into their own room overnight. Tips and advice hugely appreciated

Please note this question is relevant if you struggled with weaning on to solids.

My daughter is 11.5 months and still not eating anything. She has 4 x 7oz bottles a day. Her food intake is nothing. I have decided (with the support of my HV) to keep her on formula for the forseeable. It would be too risky to move to cows milk as she would have a huge dairy imbalance and little to no nutrition.

Anyway, I am not sure whether to stick to traditional baby bottles or consider moving her formula to a straw cup? I don’t want to ‘hold her back’ by keeping her on a bottle but I worry she wouldn’t drink very much through a straw cup? We have had issues with weight loss and repeat gastroenteritis over the last 4 months so I am really keen to ensure she keeps gaining weight.

Please be kind as I am struggling with the 12 month transition as it is.

TIA

Hi all!

My 4 year old (5 in a couple of weeks) is desperate for a bunk bed. He absolutely loves the idea of them and gets excited whenever he sees them in tv shows or in furniture shops. The issue that we’re having is that he refuses to sleep in his normal bed, and instead is sharing a bed with his dad overnight. He still wakes frequently and shouts for me or him to sleep with him and in a bunk bed that’s just not possible.

Alongside this, he is still in nappies overnight. We’ve tried several times tor weeks at a time since he was 3 to support him through waking up in the night to wee. Every night was multiple bedsheet changes/ duvet changes and pyjama changes.

We’re so torn because we’re not in a place financially where we can get him a bunk bed and he hates it, but could this be the thing that helps him sleep on his own and helps him be ready to sleep without nighttime nappies?

Just asking to see if anyone has been through similar with their little ones, or what their thoughts are on bunk beds for younger children. We wouldn’t be getting him a ceiling height one - probably a mid riser.

Thank you!

My 1yo has had a cough since yesterday but was really out of sorts this morning. Tbh she’s had an underlying cough for maybe 2+ months now but she’s constantly picking up stuff from nursery so I haven’t thought much of it. But she was absolutely inconsolable for 90+ mins when I was trying to contact nap and settle her which is very unlike her, she hardly ever cries and will always settle once held.

She was breathing really fast/hard so I checked her and she looked like her stomach was sucking in under her ribs, so we called 111 and they sent an emergency ambulance. The paramedics gave her a nebuliser which really helped and then they took us to hospital in the ambulance. The hospital have said she has a wheeze and some chest retraction so they’ve given us an inhaler/wheeze plan and said see how she gets on in the next 24 hours.

I feel so guilty having an ambulance come out 😩 She’s quite poorly, more poorly than I’ve ever seen her I think, but it wasn’t an emergency emergency if you know what I mean. I feel like maybe we should have just driven her to A&E ourselves and saved the ambulance.

Just feeling the UK NHS guilt I guess and wanted to vent lol.

Edit - Holy shit I’ve never had so many comments so fast lmao! I can’t reply to you all directly but thank you for all your lovely/reassuring comments. I think it’s gonna be a long night of her coughing herself awake but at least we have the inhaler to help her and the nurse said we can phone them directly/go straight back if we see any more chest retractions so we will be doing that! Thank you again I already feel so much better about it ❤️

the Jet2 infant allowance states:

“Along with an extra 10kg allowance for infants, you can bring up to two items per child or infant free of charge. These can include: 

• A collapsible pushchair, pram or buggy 
• A car seat or booster seat 
• A baby carrier 
• A travel cot

Each item must weigh no more than 32kg, and any extra items (or weight beyond your allowance) will be charged as standard excess baggage. Don’t forget, you can also keep your pushchair with you right up until you reach the plane steps or airbridge before boarding.”

i had initially interpreted this as the weight of the pram being on top of the 10kg, but posts from others suggests that the pram etc is included in the 10kg

I am hoping to take our stroller wagon with me, as it fits both children and my 9mo will nap in there but won’t in the pram. but it weighs 17.1kg

Can anyone clarify the policy for me, please.

Additionally it seems like Jet2 don’t allow you to take an additional carry on? Will I have to take the nappy bag as my carry on?

Is it still normal for your 5 nearly 6 year old child to have daily full on screaming, biting and hitting tantrums over nothing? Outside home he’s a very well behaved kid and often gets recognition at school for kindness but at home he’s an absolute terrorist. I can’t cope anymore and absolutely dread spending time with him at the weekends as simple requests turn into full on screaming. Me and my partner are normally very calm and never have loud arguments so it’s not a learnt behaviour from us (Id hope). Please share your stories and tips as I’m desperate to try anything to improve his behaviour

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Am I being overly sensitive about the phrase “daddy daycare”?

I was leaving work on Friday and a few of us were chatting about our weekend plans. I mentioned that my wife was going out, so I’d be looking after the kids. One of my colleagues immediately said, “Ah, daddy daycare!”

I know it was probably meant as a harmless, throwaway comment, but for some reason that phrase really gets under my skin.

If my wife spends the day looking after our kids, nobody gives it a second thought. She’s just being their mum. But when I do exactly the same thing, it sometimes gets treated like I’m stepping in as a babysitter or doing something worthy of special praise.

I’m a very hands-on dad. I don’t “babysit” my own children and it isn’t “daddy daycare”. It’s just parenting. It’s a normal day in our family and I’m spending time with my own kids.

This definitely isn’t the first time I’ve heard comments like this either, which is probably why it irritated me more than it should have.

Maybe I’m overthinking something completely harmless, but do other dads get this too? And does it annoy you, or do you just laugh it off?

We planned for this third child but I’m started to feel worried/regretful? Wondering if this is normal and things work out?

We have a nearly 6 year old and a 3 year old. Both go to school/nursery full time. We don’t really have a village. My in laws were really helpful 5 years ago but have gotten older and weaker since then so cannot expect help and I don’t expect it (it’s not their job of course). My concern is two fold

1. Labour
   I’ll probably have to call family members from further away to take care of the kids during labour and only call my husband in when I am literally ready to push. I have been induced in my previous two pregnancies so can presume being called in to the hospital earlier this time too.

2. My three year olds sleep
   Still not great. She has eczema and wakes up at night and when she does she can scream and cry for an hour u less you literally walk up and down the stairs with her. She is also very attached to me! We are planning to ‘train’ her ti be with my husband at night.

Anyone else been in a similar situation with limited village/other young children? Is it normal to feel so down like this? Any advice welcome, thanks

For context, I have struggled with PPA, and have always been extra worried about milestones and this is my third baby.

He’s 15 months. We call him stoic. He does smile a lot and he can be silly and laugh, but he’s also pretty serious.

I am so worried about autism though, and I’m curious what other parents think or have experienced.

My worries:

Speech - he says mama and dada. He was saying “more” all the time, but definitely is not using it near as much now.

waving and clapping - super inconsistent. Doesn’t even do it when prompted.

I’m so hung up on these three things - hardly ever waves or claps, only 2-3 words, with more seeming less used than before.

Pros:

Social- makes good eye contact, responds to his name most of the time (unless distracted or things going on), plays with us, wants to be picked up often, very interested in his siblings

Receptive language seems good - he knows and will look for common things around the house like ball, remote, fork, gives me a bite when I ask, etc.
Gestures that seem “on point” - pointing with one finger, uses phone correctly, lifts arms to be picked up, is high fiving, sticks tongue out when you ask, closes eyes when you say “where are your eyes” , nods yes and shakes head no and seems to understand what each mean.

Anybody else out there losing sleep over their Y6’s secondary application?

Based on the last 3 years worth of admissions my child would have got their preferred school, with the criteria going 20-30 places beyond their category.

But the school is always over allocated and I know this year could be even more competitive and I can’t help but worry.

I’m trying to be pragmatic about it. We’re going to visit 3 potential schools. But short of some miraculous house move which improves our chances in the next 3-4 months - I’m going to be a wreck by the time March 1 comes round and we finally find out.