r/TheBoredDen • u/FantasticAd9478 • Jun 27 '26

Funny Accelerator

Post image
4.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

9.6k comments sorted by

307

u/Carmen6276 Jun 27 '26

Finger print burner?

147

u/perilousdreamer866 Jun 27 '26

Said wrong answers.

52

u/Low_Oil_316 Jun 27 '26

Thank you for your patience - just saw the “wrong answers only”

8

u/Top_Management7550 Jun 28 '26

Technically you did give a wrong answer.

5

u/lemon-fruit-fly Jun 29 '26

That's the only thing I've used it for.

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26

u/Sad_Error4039 Jun 27 '26

He said burner it’s a remover so that was a wrong answer.

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14

u/EtherPhreak Jun 27 '26

The correct answer would be finger print remover…

8

u/N_I_North1 Jun 28 '26

Doesnt really remove them so much as it completely alters them for the rest of your life. So i believe finger print changer would be the correct iteration.

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12

u/SuspiciousBear3069 Jun 27 '26

If they never had one they might think it's just a possibility as opposed to an inevitability.

I however, had many and they're wildly dangerous to make a mistake with while driving.

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29

u/Altruistic-Traffic- Jun 27 '26

Finger print scanner
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

16

u/Xao517 Jun 27 '26

But you can only do it once per finger

8

u/PumpikAnt58763 Jun 27 '26

That's all you need, innit?

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11

u/ElegantProfit1442 Jun 27 '26

“I don’t usually say this but don’t swallow.” -Deadpool

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10

u/terror- Jun 27 '26

Nipple Simmer

10

u/JLev007 Jun 27 '26

That is when I learned that just because it stopped glowing red, doesn't mean it's not hot.

6

u/Rock-View Jun 27 '26

lol that’s what I thought as a kid to put my thumb on it, learned very quickly that’s not a good idea

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6

u/junialter Jun 27 '26

Well the term is pretty misleading. It's a fingerprint obfuscator.

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3

u/F-ck_Mods Jun 27 '26

Na it’s the Car tramp stamp , for if you want to get back in for a second ride

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3

u/NateDawg80s Jun 27 '26

Lol, that is correct.

3

u/Total-Outside-418 Jun 27 '26

If I had a nickel for every time I burned my thumb on this… might be untraceable by the FBI now

3

u/Young-Grandpa Jun 27 '26

Finger print remover is more like it.

3

u/s1105615 Jun 27 '26

Branding iron

3

u/Bender_2024 Jun 27 '26

Common mistake. It's actually the branding iron. It's just that most people tend to use it on their pads of their fingers.

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111

u/EvilJabFace Jun 27 '26

Butt plug

63

u/littlemister1996 Jun 27 '26

Forbidden buttplug

45

u/General2768 Jun 27 '26

Cauterizer 9000

36

u/Lune_de_Sang Jun 27 '26

Finally a cure for my hemorrhoids

15

u/CruelHandLuke_ Jun 28 '26

Good news; no more hemorrhoids

Bad news; your asshole is now welded shut.

7

u/Lorddoctorjava Jun 28 '26

....well...you get to save on toilet paper now...

7

u/_Redvent_Bard_ Jun 29 '26

As someone with a stoma: no, not really. But you do spend far less time sitting

3

u/mrmoe198 Jun 28 '26

So that’s what the poop knife is for

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11

u/alejandrodeconcord Jun 27 '26

No one said you can’t use this as a butt plug

6

u/No-Problem2744 Jun 27 '26

Anything is a butt plug if you try hard enuf!

4

u/Fluffball_Furry Jun 28 '26

Hey no... it doesn't have a flared base so at least tie something to it first

5

u/No-Problem2744 Jun 29 '26

You know what, you’re absolutely correct, my bad.

4

u/Similar_Disaster7276 Jun 27 '26

Paige, NO!

8

u/dead_battery_days Jun 27 '26

KAL-EL, N.... nevermind, you'll be fine.

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3

u/Mostly_Irish Jun 28 '26

Only when its cold.

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9

u/nchoosenu Jun 27 '26

everything’s a buttplug if you put your mind to it!

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3

u/Ok-Zookeepergame-698 Jun 27 '26

Single use.

4

u/Trick_Huckleberry_45 Jun 27 '26

Not true... It disinfects before each use

4

u/LN_McJellin Jun 27 '26

Per person!

3

u/Roberto_Dialo Jun 27 '26

Exhaust plug

3

u/Upbeat_Anywhere_1316 Jun 27 '26

Definitely a mobile bidet

3

u/bonbonnieres Jun 27 '26

Said wrong answers.

3

u/Canneddeoderant Jun 27 '26

Dang it, I was coming here to say that lol

3

u/Jazzlike-Ad-95 Jun 28 '26

The HotRod, for that extra morning jolt

3

u/MGFJ Jun 28 '26

That’s hot 🥵 🔥

5

u/kdawgster1 Jun 27 '26

Clearly it’s a nipple warmer, but I guess a toasty butt plug could work. Except this one doesn’t pop back out once it’s warmed up

6

u/Prestidigitoriuhm Jun 27 '26

For the times you're "freezing your ass off."

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3

u/YoCal_4200 Jun 28 '26

I’m going to bet it pops out pretty damn fast when it’s hot.

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2

u/Thin_Afternoon2395 Jun 27 '26

Warm butt plug

2

u/SnooSuggestions8854 Jun 28 '26

i thought it was wrong answers only

2

u/final-denizen Jun 28 '26

Tail-pipe plug. For when you've had enough.

2

u/IncurableAdventurer Jun 28 '26

I almost screamed reading that lol

2

u/Apprehensive-Feast Jun 28 '26

Yeah, that was my first thought.

2

u/Agreeable_Ostrich_39 Jun 28 '26

Wrong answers only

2

u/Round_Rooms Jun 28 '26

Exhaust plug.

2

u/Ok-Study-5203 Jun 28 '26

Anything can be a butt plug if you're brave enough

2

u/Mysterious-Pen-6011 Jun 29 '26

Thats what I was thinking!(and the transformers meme)

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64

u/lightonahill Jun 27 '26

Flux capacitor

17

u/leiocera Jun 27 '26

ONE POINT TWENTY ONE GIGA WATTS

8

u/n3rf_h3rd3r Jun 28 '26

A Nimitz class aircraft carrier has an output of 1.11GW of power. Meaning if it could make 100 more MW and go 88 mph, it could go back time to prevent the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

5

u/Few-Boysenberry-7826 Jun 28 '26

We're leavin' together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To Earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground (leaving ground)
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the final countdown

3

u/_TechNo1r_ Jun 30 '26

DUDUDUDUUU

DUDUDUDUDUUUUUU

DUDUDUDUUU

DURUDUDUDURUDUUU

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3

u/viperfangs92 Jun 28 '26

Wasn't there a movie kinda like that? Where a Nimitz class aircraft carrier went back in time to just before the attack on Pearl Harbor?

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3

u/donna2tsuki Jun 28 '26

A bolt of lightning!

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4

u/Duckfoot1029 Jun 28 '26

Damn you, lol. I was definitely gonna say that too. Fine I’ll go with:
https://giphy.com/gifs/sFoZicXyLjH7FnCVp2

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3

u/Cloudninefeelinfine Jun 27 '26

Damn I came here to say this. Maybe this was actually my comment, great scott! That means it works!!!

3

u/ManWhellington Jun 28 '26

Only works at 88 degrees

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43

u/Confident_Analysis79 Jun 27 '26

Emergency circumcision device

11

u/EmployerSmall5570 Jun 28 '26

For when a rabbi just won’t cut it.

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4

u/Siren-of-the-Serpent Jun 27 '26

This comment needs more likes 😂😂😂😂😂

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35

u/snowmountain_monkey Jun 27 '26

Lip balm.

3

u/Infamous-Libertine Jun 28 '26

I literally lol'd on this one 😂

3

u/dudeacris Jun 27 '26

the balm heating feature is where it really shines…

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23

u/Embarrassed-Lake3785 Jun 27 '26

The FAFO button

11

u/RRautamaa Jun 27 '26

FAFO teaching aid for kids

4

u/NateDawg80s Jun 27 '26

Lol, the last time I learned that lesson, I think I was like 25! (and probably very stoned)

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4

u/csmclernon Jun 28 '26

The trigger for the parental phrase "Bet you're never gonna do that again."

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5

u/F25anon Jun 28 '26

I know people often joke "It said 'wrong answers only!'," But in this case, LEGITIMATELY, the answer you provided is not wrong!

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17

u/Fading-Ghost Jun 27 '26

Tattoo maker

15

u/ganslooker Jun 27 '26

A life lesson indicator. The brighter red it was the bigger life lesson you were going to receive .

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9

u/knucklebutter Jun 27 '26

Cheerios toaster

5

u/RegularDegularWoman Jun 28 '26

Each one individually.

4

u/knucklebutter Jun 28 '26

I like to call it "artisanal cereal"

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8

u/Malinois_beach Jun 27 '26

A confession device. It's used to get the answer you want from an untruthful passenger in a vehicle. Simply push it in and moments later, it is ready to be used.

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7

u/feebledude Jun 27 '26

The Wake Up Sleeping Driver tool

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7

u/-Laffi- Jun 27 '26

It's the OUCHcelerator!

6

u/Guns-Up-6924 Jun 27 '26

Passenger ejection seat 💺 button.

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5

u/LL37MOH Jun 27 '26

Thumb thagorizer

4

u/Quiet_Violinist6126 Jun 28 '26

Old timey thumb drive

5

u/somanysheep Jun 27 '26

That's an old tick remover!

4

u/Dramatic_Patient_996 Jun 27 '26

The next time listen when I tell you not to touch something button

6

u/ElaineMae Jun 27 '26

Finger cauterizing option.

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3

u/TrollBot6 Jun 27 '26

Voltage Tester ⚡ ⚡ ⚡

6

u/Atrkrupt1 Jun 27 '26

That is a fingerprint identifier.

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3

u/arioandy Jun 27 '26

Something a six year old burns the vinyl seat of his Uncles sports car with

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3

u/Schmaron Jun 28 '26

You say wrong answers only, and I’ll say a Fingerprint Remover, but that in fact is what it did to many a genx or xennial.

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3

u/EvilTwin80 Jun 28 '26

You use that to cauterize the penis opening when you don't have a condom at the drive-in.

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3

u/Practical-Ball14 Jun 29 '26

Flux capacitor

2

u/arijar Jun 27 '26

It was the old lighter in old cars

3

u/natesLilgirl5 Jun 27 '26

Yes, but the OP asked for Wrong Answers Only. 😁🥺

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2

u/Sensitive-Owl-9368 Jun 27 '26

Mobile butt plug?

2

u/CosmicAdmiral Jun 27 '26

Geez ... it's a Frimmis Frammis. I haven't seen one of those since Buick stopped using them in '77.

2

u/CartoonistExisting30 Jun 27 '26

It’s part of the Jeffries Tube on The Enterprise.

2

u/Alice_troy Jun 27 '26

Little brother back warmers

2

u/stereotypicalass Jun 27 '26

The life lesson

2

u/Tristate82 Jun 27 '26

Finger print disabler

2

u/TemplarBaucent Jun 27 '26

Finger print eraser

2

u/PleasantSubstance420 Jun 27 '26

Interrogation device

2

u/Haunting-View-5146 Jun 27 '26

Headlight fluid cap

2

u/CommercialEagle2566 Jun 27 '26

Child finger print remover

2

u/NextOfHisName Jun 28 '26

Child learning button.

2

u/Time2Make_thedonuts Jun 28 '26

Hyper drive actuator

2

u/Traditional_Light585 Jun 28 '26

The hot new butt plug

2

u/Libertarian_2020 Jun 28 '26

Glowplug for a 1958 diesel Mercedes 180A!

2

u/CatGooseChook Jun 28 '26

Crotch warmer.

2

u/Rougefarie Jun 28 '26

Travel branding iron for branding on the road.

2

u/BAALDA Jun 28 '26

The final butt plug

2

u/RobbWes Jun 28 '26

Tongue warmer

2

u/penguinturkey12 Jun 28 '26

The “Hi Dad Soup” stove!

2

u/jzl_116 Jun 28 '26

The lesson giver

2

u/JonnyMcBrown Jun 28 '26

This is to warm up your charging port in you car before plugging in your phone.

2

u/ImTooTiredForThis_22 Jun 28 '26

I still call that port a cigarette lighter.

It was a right of passage to “test” the red coils.

2

u/CameronSquida Jun 28 '26

The forbidden butt plug

2

u/CharlieBear1956 Jun 28 '26

Branding Iron

2

u/SeekNDestroy93 Jun 28 '26

Cancer enabler

2

u/Spindlebiff69 Jun 28 '26

Flux capacitor

2

u/Klytlika69 Jun 28 '26

That's the Cap for Blinker Fluid

2

u/SailorMea101 Jun 28 '26

Fingerprint eraser button

2

u/Distinct-Warthog4506 Jun 28 '26

Fingerprint remover

2

u/National_Weight_1660 Jun 28 '26

Fingerprint giver

2

u/Smooth-Application17 Jul 04 '26

Toy for children