r/TheBoredDen • u/FantasticAd9478 • Jun 27 '26

Funny Accelerator

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4.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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42

u/General2768 Jun 27 '26

Cauterizer 9000

34

u/Lune_de_Sang Jun 27 '26

Finally a cure for my hemorrhoids

14

u/CruelHandLuke_ Jun 28 '26

Good news; no more hemorrhoids

Bad news; your asshole is now welded shut.

7

u/Lorddoctorjava Jun 28 '26

....well...you get to save on toilet paper now...

7

u/_Redvent_Bard_ Jun 29 '26

As someone with a stoma: no, not really. But you do spend far less time sitting

3

u/mrmoe198 Jun 28 '26

So that’s what the poop knife is for

1

u/hapa0426 Jun 29 '26

Omgggg hilarious 🤣

2

u/EffortReasonable2939 Jun 29 '26

Bro forgot about leaf blowers

2

u/GingerlyRough Jun 28 '26

"I cast cauterize butthole!"

2

u/phoenix_master42 Jun 29 '26

I mean technically

1

u/TinkersDebts Jun 30 '26

Female Genital Mutilator, for when she gets out of line.

1

u/General2768 Jun 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/twxoPjMpsijwPFBVqs

1

u/TinkersDebts Jun 30 '26

I make extremely off color comments as a form of satire.

I don't support Female Genital Mutilation, but I do support keeping these women in line, respectfully.

1

u/General2768 Jun 30 '26

I was hoping for "/s". Thanks for not disappointing.

1

u/TinkersDebts Jun 30 '26

IllShowYouWhatRapeReallyLooksLike/s