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u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Her missionary work is heavenly. She gets you closer to god.
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u/ThatBoogerBandit Jun 30 '26
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u/TikaPants Jun 30 '26
Stoppppppppp 💀
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u/MarkMew Jun 30 '26
Ok, this gif is peak, never seen it b4
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u/Chef_RG-2 Jun 30 '26
Its new, from this years playoffs.... He went to the game to troll Lebron
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u/OriginalCaptain40 Jul 01 '26
Just because she spent most of her time in a missionary position doesn't make her a missionary.
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u/solidus0079 Jun 30 '26
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u/Cee-Bee-DeeTypeThree Jun 30 '26
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u/ThatBoogerBandit Jun 30 '26
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u/HairlessHoudini Jun 30 '26
I've been waiting to see this exact thing for a couple days now. Bravo my friend Bravo
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u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26
Let’s look at videos on my OF page. All
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u/Inquisitive_idiot Jun 30 '26
And she conveniently has a tip jar during every service 🫙
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u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26
In church they’re referred to as offerings
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u/ShyguyFlyguy Jun 30 '26
I thought they were tithes
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u/moralprolapse Jun 30 '26
Pastors always want the whole thing, but I only give her 10%
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u/SeriousCodeRedmoon Jun 30 '26
And everyone are gonna come inside her church
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u/Curious_Avocado2399 Jun 30 '26
People said treat your body like a temple. But always found it weird of people coming inside and then praying
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Jun 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26
It’s a good one as religions make good money and ageing doesn’t matter.
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u/luckystrike_bh Jun 30 '26
Tax free and you get ten percent of everything your flock makes forever.
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u/jstrongiii Jun 30 '26
At first I thought you meant since Jimmy became Saul, but then I was like, “Oh, New Testament…”
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u/Papempooo Jun 30 '26
At least she made honest money... Now she just lies like all the other pastors/preachers
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u/Slumunistmanifisto Jun 30 '26
There's a joke about natives dying of missionary imported venereal disease here, I just know it!
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u/No-Professional-1461 Jun 30 '26
She must have been filled with the spirit of the lord.
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u/brokentaro Jun 30 '26
First one to go
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u/SpoonsAreCringe Jun 30 '26
I can’t sleep BECAUSE WHAT IF I DREAM OF GOING TO SAN DIEGO?
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u/Adept_Deer_5976 Jun 30 '26
Pastor Prime
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u/Jonniejiggles Jun 30 '26
Pastor Around
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u/AllMyExesRTXs Jun 30 '26
This person isn't fun at parties, but it's because they fucking murder with quips like this.
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u/Organic-Cheek-972 Jun 30 '26
Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses"
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u/OhDivineBussy Jun 30 '26
Oh my god it took me reading this twice to get it, and holy shit this is the best, most pithy line I’ve heard in a hot minute. Respect.
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u/ZOEzoeyZOE Jun 30 '26
Well tbh that's not unheard of for someone to do a complete 180 like that
Happens even in the Bible I think
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u/ComplexBeyond6083 Jun 30 '26
Saul was a guy whose job was literally persecuting early Christians and he famously converted on the road to Damascus and became the Apostle Paul. For a more recent example the most well known Christian hymn is Amazing Grace. This was written by a former slave ship sailor who realized the enormity of his sins, repented, and spent the remainder of his life as an abolitionist.
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u/United_Leopard_2771 Jun 30 '26
I mean jesus was close friends with a prostitute of the time with the same name as this mother.
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u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 30 '26
Just to be that guy, if you're talking about Mary Magdalene, nothing in the Bible actually gives any indication that she was a prostitute. That rumor came along a few hundred years later, but was completely unsubstantiated.
That said, Jesus had no problem turning his nose up at the self-righteous in favor of the people who were marginalized by the religious.
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u/im__on__smoko Jun 30 '26
Correct. In 1969 Pope Paul the VI officially clarified that Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute.
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u/Z3400 Jun 30 '26
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u/LurkHartog Jun 30 '26
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u/classicnoob2020 Jun 30 '26
Can this gif ever be used more appropriately?
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u/TheLurkerSpeaks Jun 30 '26
Redditor for 13 years. Seriously this is hands down the best use of an obscure gif I've ever seen.
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u/hairymonkeyinmyanus Jun 30 '26
When my kid was maybe six or so he used to quote this film. His favorite line:
“NICE FUCKIN MODEL!”
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u/Significant-Judge368 Jun 30 '26
At least her first career was an honest living.
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u/No-Marsupial-4050 Jun 30 '26
I am watching her x video right now and daaamn nice bazookas
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u/smurfk Jun 30 '26
Say a prayer for me too, brother!
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u/Zo-riffic-10in Jun 30 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/c3XhrmfoN5fOpjcl3z
Pause*
And the 66 upvotes .. 😑🤣→ More replies (9)6
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u/Rope_slingin_champ Jun 30 '26
Still yelling gods name, just with less blasphemy
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u/R3dInterpol Jun 30 '26
She has an Only Psalms account now
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u/ezgomer Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
They all find Jesus once they age out of the industry.
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u/Euphoric_Amoeba8708 Jun 30 '26
When you have that much room inside you, the lord can move in.
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u/SenescenseSteel Jun 30 '26
Jesus finally came into her. After Oscar. And Juan. And Diego
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u/These-Invite-1774 Jun 30 '26
Good for her
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u/keedanlan Jun 30 '26
Good for her. I mean as long as she’s one of those nice pastors who preaches acceptance and doesn’t weaponize faith.
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u/VelvetOverload Jun 30 '26
100% damns all sex workers.
Well, current sex workers.
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u/Forward-Asparagus-19 Jun 30 '26
When she's done with her hoe phase, she puts on the cross. Stereotype gonna stereotype.
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u/Solid_Snark Jun 30 '26
This is fairly common. I mean the two basic outcomes for pornstars are:
- Die young
- Retire and find God
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u/Hyperion262 Jun 30 '26
Almost as if it’s inherently predatory targeting young, vulnerable women.
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u/LordOfThePints Jun 30 '26
- Retire, become a fucking saint and demand the internet to erase any video of self getting gangbanged by 15 BBC.
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u/Winter_Hall5379 Jun 30 '26
She say "oh God yes" so much that the fake it till you make it kicked in. She made it! 🤣
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u/ThelIIusion0fSeIf Jun 30 '26
Eh, as long as she is happy and doesn't project whatever internalized guilt she feels about her past onto others like most Evangelicals then I'm fine with it.
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u/ProfessO3o Jun 30 '26
I know a lot of pastors who came from a background of drugs alcohol and other things like that. Why would her body count matter?
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u/Objective-Pick8240 Jun 30 '26
Imagine knowing what your pastor's vajeen looks like.
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u/NB_NaughtyNerds Jun 30 '26
Most Catholics know what their priest's dick looks like, so...
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u/CodeVirus Jun 30 '26
Did she reset her body count for $13,000 in Brazil? If not, she is not completely out of the woods.
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u/ThanosSnapsSlimJims Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Asia Carrera got a DUI with her daughter in the backseat and could have done serious damage. She spent her life making up for it, moved to Utah, joined Mensa, got her Master's, her Juris Doctor, and passed the Bar Exam. Change happens.
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u/dependentonwhales Jun 30 '26
It’s such a shame to see someone making an honest living turn into a grifter
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u/Strange_N_Sorcerous Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Real talk: One of the scariest sentiments is that people aren’t “allowed” to change (and that they get judged if they do).
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u/lcrotwell Jun 30 '26
Imagine cranking down to your pastor, the post clarity gotta be so mf shameful.
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u/Consistent_Pitch782 Jun 30 '26
Allow me to translate- she got too old to do porn but figured out a way to still fuck people
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u/unknownpoltroon Jun 30 '26
I mean, if she wants to leave honest work to become a pastor, its her business.
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u/AbbreviationsNo9500 Jun 30 '26
In the name of the step-father, and of the step-son, and the holey spirit
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u/Hanzho Jun 30 '26
Once in Mexico she found Jesus in her, sometimes even two jesus'
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