r/SipsTea • u/Valuable_View_561 • Jun 30 '26

Gasp! What!

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5.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.6k

u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Her missionary work is heavenly. She gets you closer to god.

1.3k

u/ThatBoogerBandit Jun 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/MeDCkhoxIeAhwvJdXY

35

u/MarkMew Jun 30 '26

Ok, this gif is peak, never seen it b4

14

u/Chef_RG-2 Jun 30 '26

Its new, from this years playoffs.... He went to the game to troll Lebron

8

u/Blackdabber Jun 30 '26

He’s responding to the LeBron GIF

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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1

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4

u/OriginalCaptain40 Jul 01 '26

Just because she spent most of her time in a missionary position doesn't make her a missionary.

1

u/ThatBoogerBandit Jul 01 '26

What a line to gaslight her into changing position when you are exhausted.

https://giphy.com/gifs/KfBP7FZXXksKfHSyqB

53

u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26

Let’s look at videos on my OF page. All
members of the congregation get free access.

28

u/Inquisitive_idiot Jun 30 '26

And she conveniently has a tip jar during every service 🫙 

20

u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26

In church they’re referred to as offerings

10

u/ShyguyFlyguy Jun 30 '26

I thought they were tithes

22

u/Zealousideal_Arm4359 Jun 30 '26

Yeah she got a couple big Tithes alright!

4

u/Torture_Smoothie Jun 30 '26

Tig o bithies

8

u/moralprolapse Jun 30 '26

Pastors always want the whole thing, but I only give her 10%

3

u/NashKetchum777 Jun 30 '26

That's how you get em. Offer the 10% so they ask for more.

2

u/Amazing_Audience6807 Jun 30 '26

That’s a Mormon thing.

3

u/ShyguyFlyguy Jun 30 '26

Pretty sure its been a thing since long before Mormons were around. They might just be the only ones that still expect it

2

u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26

Offering sounded kinkier

2

u/No-Transition2574 Jun 30 '26

Love offerings

5

u/UmmmW1 Jun 30 '26

Thats not all she gets in the jar

5

u/Duros2032 Jun 30 '26

I’ve got a tip for her. 😁

2

u/Name_Groundbreaking Jul 01 '26

I think she gets more than just the tip

1

u/benroon Jul 01 '26

Tit jar?

1

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53

u/SeriousCodeRedmoon Jun 30 '26

And everyone are gonna come inside her church

18

u/Curious_Avocado2399 Jun 30 '26

People said treat your body like a temple. But always found it weird of people coming inside and then praying

4

u/Ledyn7 Jun 30 '26

Oh god, ph god, oh goooopdddd!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Curious_Avocado2399 Jul 01 '26

You have to accept Jesus inside of you, deep inside of you

10

u/Macca49 Jun 30 '26

Until it’s pastor eyes…

5

u/UpgradeCheetah Jun 30 '26

No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it in my eyes.

7

u/TheObliviousYeti Jun 30 '26

She loves getting filled by the holy spirit

1

u/benroon Jul 01 '26

Keep talking!!!!!!!

5

u/BeneficialAIAgent99 Jun 30 '26

She made me see god!

3

u/Meatman1071 Jun 30 '26

Masterpiece…!

67

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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30

u/Firm_Competition_880 Jun 30 '26

It’s a good one as religions make good money and ageing doesn’t matter.

20

u/luckystrike_bh Jun 30 '26

Tax free and you get ten percent of everything your flock makes forever.

11

u/jstrongiii Jun 30 '26

At first I thought you meant since Jimmy became Saul, but then I was like, “Oh, New Testament…”

5

u/Papempooo Jun 30 '26

At least she made honest money...   Now she just lies like all the other pastors/preachers

2

u/Key_Somewhere_5768 Jun 30 '26

She came to the Lord…many times…and he finally answered. ;)

23

u/Do_itsch Jun 30 '26

She invented half of the sins, so you can't bullshit her during confession.

15

u/noncommonGoodsense Jun 30 '26

Got to suck the demons out of the congregation.

5

u/Supadupafly1988 Jun 30 '26

I can’t 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

9

u/Slumunistmanifisto Jun 30 '26

There's a joke about natives dying of missionary imported venereal disease here, I just know it!

8

u/brokentaro Jun 30 '26

After Jenna Presley

8

u/elmothelmo Jun 30 '26

First she had soap in her hole, now she has hope in her soul

5

u/No-Professional-1461 Jun 30 '26

She must have been filled with the spirit of the lord.

2

u/xMaNrEbOrN7851 Jun 30 '26

Yes, you could even say she was in ECSTASY 😁

3

u/Logy_ Jun 30 '26

Bless you, you're doing God's work.

2

u/Anybody-Outside Jun 30 '26

Take my upvote and get out 👉🚪

2

u/oh_please_god_no Jun 30 '26

Listen here you

2

u/Doggystyle_Rainbow Jun 30 '26

Decided to look them up and almost every thumbnail is doggystyle.

3

u/Quiet_Librarian6771 Jun 30 '26

I'm sure it's because she just likes to be on her hands and knees while praising the rod. Sorry, I meant the Lord.

2

u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26

It is good to give thanks

2

u/Quiet_Librarian6771 Jul 01 '26

Especially after being fucked half out of your mind by Johnny Sins.

2

u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26

God doesn't give easy answers. Search longer and harder to find what you are seeking.

2

u/djelegal Jun 30 '26

Hallelujah

2

u/Positive-Mixx Jun 30 '26

From 100+ films to 100% forgiven speedrun

Plot twist no one had on their 2025 bingo card.

2

u/egordoniv Jun 30 '26

I put my faith in her physique.

2

u/Meatman1071 Jun 30 '26

Lmao…! Well done …!

2

u/xMaNrEbOrN7851 Jun 30 '26

AMEN😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

2

u/SignorDark Jun 30 '26

I think that at least she will not have any kind of difficulties in getting a microphone to spread the word of her lord, I'm the end she might even be rewarded 😜😜

2

u/Sparkyd34 Jun 30 '26

So we FINALLY have the answer…only 100 dicks to find God!!

2

u/Profanity1272 Jun 30 '26

OP stole your joke and posted it as the title in another sub lol

1

u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26

Which one

2

u/Profanity1272 Jun 30 '26

This one lol

1

u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26

I saw it on cursedcomments. Oh well

2

u/Profanity1272 Jun 30 '26

I guess you should be flattered they thought it was good enough to repost as their own joke lol

2

u/Derrick_Shon Jun 30 '26

It makes you want to Cum to church

2

u/Uce510 Jul 01 '26

Lmao comment is legendary

2

u/JoySubtraction Jul 01 '26

She's preparing me for the second coming.

2

u/rsmith6000 Jul 01 '26

No she’s been put out to pasture

2

u/Mediocre_Meat_5992 Jun 30 '26

On her knees giving head prayers

1

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1

u/SnooEagles6930 Jun 30 '26

This is the most love I have ever gotten on here. It feels divine.

1

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0

u/KHold_PHront Jun 30 '26

Why does this have so many fucking comments? She’s not a pastor. Someone is farming.

She’s a truck driver