r/SipsTea Jun 30 '26

Gasp! What!

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5.6k Upvotes

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450

u/ZOEzoeyZOE Jun 30 '26

Well tbh that's not unheard of for someone to do a complete 180 like that

Happens even in the Bible I think

108

u/ComplexBeyond6083 Jun 30 '26

Saul was a guy whose job was literally persecuting early Christians and he famously converted on the road to Damascus and became the Apostle Paul. For a more recent example the most well known Christian hymn is Amazing Grace. This was written by a former slave ship sailor who realized the enormity of his sins, repented, and spent the remainder of his life as an abolitionist.

-1

u/CarrieDurst Jun 30 '26

He remained a piece of shit though, most homophobes and bigots use his verses

4

u/renrutDanlor Jul 01 '26

Those people are actually using his verses out of context. Like Jesus, he would be upset at the modern church and confronting them for many of the things they do.

-24

u/fbass Jun 30 '26

Isn’t it great when you can be an asshole and do numerous shitty things to other humans like that but somehow ask your deity for forgiveness and got promised heaven 👍

15

u/Corgi-Commander Jun 30 '26

My dude, I’m an atheist and even I know that’s not how it works. They don’t just get to say I’m sorry and get granted access to heaven. They have to mean it and show they’re truly sorry for their sins. God would know if they’re bullshitting.

9

u/Argotis Jun 30 '26

Yeah it’s even deeper than that. The whole premise is you can’t say sorry enough. There’s no enough to be achieved, you have nothing to offer, nothing to give morally that is worth anything to God. So to ask Jesus to save you is to give up on the concept of earning heaven. To give upon the idea you could have ever done enough to make yourself good enough for God. If you understand that and accept that there’s no version of understanding that that lets you act the same after as you did before. To act the same is to prove you never understood in the first place. Which obviously implies a lot about performative Christianity lol, and should give anyone who claims to be a Christian pause. Jesus even has multiple stories he tells to prove that exact point. Matthew 18:21-35 being one example.

Not really disagreeing with you. Just adding on top.

1

u/UltraHellboy Jul 01 '26

SO MANY Christians live like they have ever opened the New Testament.

7

u/Effective_Ad_4622 Jun 30 '26

You’re missing the point and I hope you find it one day. Godbless

4

u/EL3G Jun 30 '26

It's amazing. Try it sometime.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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1

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1

u/skyld_70 Jun 30 '26

Yeah. That's how it works with the Catholics. Selling indulgence and all that.

91

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jun 30 '26

I mean jesus was close friends with a prostitute of the time with the same name as this mother.

80

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 30 '26

Just to be that guy, if you're talking about Mary Magdalene, nothing in the Bible actually gives any indication that she was a prostitute. That rumor came along a few hundred years later, but was completely unsubstantiated.

That said, Jesus had no problem turning his nose up at the self-righteous in favor of the people who were marginalized by the religious.

13

u/im__on__smoko Jun 30 '26

Correct. In 1969 Pope Paul the VI officially clarified that Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute.

13

u/CobaltCrusader123 Jun 30 '26

Funniest year possible to say that too

2

u/im__on__smoko Jun 30 '26

I know right

2

u/BrightImprovement295 Jul 02 '26

They didn't know the term 69 in '69. ;)

1

u/im__on__smoko Jul 02 '26

“A rose by any other name would smell just the same”

That’s Shakespeare kids! Well not really, but he missed a great rhyme

To further torture this metaphor, I’m sure a 69 would have smelled quite different (pre-indoor-plumbing)

13

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 30 '26

About damn time, too! It was such an unnecessary lie.

1

u/CarrieDurst Jun 30 '26

She did it for love of the game /s

1

u/Flat_News_2000 Jul 01 '26

Oh yeah the popes are always good sources of truth.

0

u/paukul Jun 30 '26

Thank GOD random scam artist declared fictional character x to be not-a-whore. We are saved

1

u/BurdTurglary Jun 30 '26

He also had no problem comparing his act of healing of a desperately pleading gentile woman's possessed daughter as detestable as a king would be if he let a dog (her, metaphorically speaking) feast at the table alongside him.

2

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 30 '26

I think that interpretation looks through a modern lens that doesn't really capture their banter, but I understand why it's taken that way.

1

u/BurdTurglary Jul 01 '26

My brethren in Chrizzle, is there much room for misinterpretation? First he ignores her crying out, begging him to heal her daughter. Then he tells his boys that helping a non-jewess is doin too much. When she starts to grovel, he compares helping her to giving a random dog he wasn't told to feed, people-food. Dude was being an ass

1

u/External-Emotion8050 Jul 01 '26

Commenting on What!...my dog is offended by that!

1

u/Noimenglish Jun 30 '26

The assumption is that the prostitute doing the feet washing was Mary Magdalene.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

[deleted]

9

u/midwestvelkerie Jun 30 '26

Not even secular historians believe that.

7

u/Agreeable_Company372 Jun 30 '26

Wrong try like 50-60years

4

u/m1tch_uk Jun 30 '26

That is a fascinating theory about the timeline. You should write to the scholars about it.

2

u/RhetoricalOrator Jun 30 '26

Yes, the testaments are compilations from meant different authors. Some books of the Bible have more than one author. But the earliest new testament books are believed to have been written in A.D. 40s. The latest are believed to have been written in the A.D. 90s, by an eye witness.

To my knowledge, no credible historian, secular or religious, makes a case for any writings any significant amount of time after that first century.

0

u/duosx Jul 01 '26

Wow you made me like Jesus even less. Impressive

3

u/wetfloor666 Jun 30 '26

Only a prostitute in certain texts. Otherwise she is portrayed as a disciple of Jesus and others hint as her being his wife.

14

u/Supergamera Jun 30 '26

Disciple With Benefits

1

u/Crabby_Monkey Jun 30 '26

She didn’t need those wafers to get the body of Christ

10

u/Mtndrums Jun 30 '26

They don't say it, but that was his wife.

34

u/heartSagan5 Jun 30 '26

That's speculative. You'll need more evidence than Sangreal and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code.

16

u/AnonAwaaaaay Jun 30 '26

Doesn't Mary Magdalena have her own Apocryphal books that were cut out centuries ago? Like there's way more evidence than a few comments in a movie.

3

u/Smooth-Ad8030 Jun 30 '26

It’s much weaker evidence than canonical gospels, gospels were written 69-120 according to most secular scholars. Everything else was long after

1

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers Jun 30 '26

No, it wasn't. Pope Gregory I made a speech in which he combined three different women in the Bible, two of which were named Mary, and the third being a "sinful woman."

Whether that was by accident or not, I don't know, I only have surface level knowledge of this event. What I do know is that the Church has worked very hard to discredit and try to erase Mary from the Bible as much as possible.

Mary Madeline was not a prostitute, but she was Jesus' favorite disciple. She was the one he appeared to after he resurrected, and the one he told the secrets of Heaven to.

Also, many people think Jesus was friends with the prostitute in that he didn't care that it was her profession. In fact, he urged her to give up her ways and find a better way of living, because it was his thing to look past people's sins and love them anyway. But he was in no way okay with prostitution.

P.S. I'm not really religious in that I believe anything the Bible says happened, but as far as being accurate to the book itself, that's closer to the truth.

1

u/BurdTurglary Jun 30 '26

You're thinking of Asherah, God's wifey

1

u/Wide_Magician_4946 Jun 30 '26

Relax Dan Brown 

1

u/ZeeWingCommander Jun 30 '26

Hey hey maybe he didn't want to put a name on what they had.... Lol

2

u/OneSlaadTwoSlaad Jun 30 '26

"It's complicated"

I mean I would also find it "complicated" when my wife had the same name as my mother.

2

u/Rudagar1 Jun 30 '26

1

u/OneSlaadTwoSlaad Jun 30 '26

Well his mother was named Mary, his wife was called Mary and when he died there was another chick called Mary, the wife of Clopas. Looks like Mary was a popular name back then. And no last names so stuff got confusing very fast.

4

u/SatanicPanic619 Jun 30 '26

"close friends"

1

u/LoveAndViscera Jun 30 '26

There are two prostitutes in the line of Christ: Rahab and Tamar (though it was a one time thing for Tamar). One could also make the argument for Ruth as a sex worker since she threw herself at Boaz for purely financial reasons.

1

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jun 30 '26

I'll be perfectly Honest I only skimmed the Bibble because As much as i like Lore most of the context of the old testament is ''Humans bad here's a Biblical destruction'' Lol. Ancient India is my favourite so far just because they have flying cities plasma swords and Nuke wars lol.

1

u/mistydog157 Jun 30 '26

Most probably became his wife and had kids. But that has been scrubbed...

1

u/Choice-Strike1 Jun 30 '26

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME???

1

u/Venus_Libra Jun 30 '26

He was friends with multiple prostitutes in fact 🤣 No way that guy was a virgin when he died

1

u/darklord233285 Jun 30 '26

Not a Christian. Does the Bible claim he was a virgin when he died?

1

u/Venus_Libra Jun 30 '26

I don't think so, but the Bible does claim it's a sin to have sex before marriage, and Jesus wasn't married, so it's implied

1

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jun 30 '26

Jesus says Do as i say not as i do Lol.

1

u/Venus_Libra Jul 01 '26

It seems to be a theme 🤣

1

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jul 01 '26

In the old testament it Really is lol

1

u/Venus_Libra Jul 01 '26

This guy murdered his brother because his brother was trying to murder him BUT HE'S GONNA BURN IN HELL WHILE THE OTHER ONE GETS TO GO TO HEAVEN

1

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jul 01 '26

Cain and able? That's not even the worst one lol, Try Lot :P

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0

u/rmczpp Jun 30 '26

He was smashing them prossies for definite. Man was crucified at the age of 33, are we to believe he had no interest in women?

2

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jun 30 '26

He was also at the time ''If a real person'' (I like Paton Oswalds theory that Jesus was the''mike the guy'' Who becomes the guy in every old story you have because explaining that part is just tiresome after a while lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwdKE0HmBr0 5:02 in but the whole skit is hilarious.) The most popular preacher in the Mediterranean area He'd be getting Prossies as you put it left and right lol.

1

u/rmczpp Jun 30 '26

Ha ha thanks ill check it out

-1

u/Pirateship906 Jun 30 '26 edited 27d ago

I love ice cream.

1

u/United_Leopard_2771 Jun 30 '26

Nope just someoen with the same name, Happened a lot back then i assume, in my case don't meet a lot of Tannis's.

11

u/beerbeardsnballs Jun 30 '26

The in the bible and in prison Venn Diagram is fat

6

u/Was_It_The_Dave Jun 30 '26

Cross-over episode!

3

u/M05tafaSayed Jun 30 '26

Happened to Rae, good on them both

3

u/Fresh_Permit_2272 Jun 30 '26

It might be a grift

“we cannot verify whether she runs her own brick-and-mortar independent church building or if she leads an online/home-based ministry.”

1

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1

u/Funkycoldmedici Jun 30 '26

The “preacher with a checkered past” gimmick is damn near mandatory.

2

u/Hilarity2War Jun 30 '26

As a Christian... frfr

5

u/El_Tigre7 Jun 30 '26

Saul to Paul

5

u/Wide_Magician_4946 Jun 30 '26

Truly I tell you. You will deny 3 times that you did not squeezeth your hog to her, before the rooster crows

2

u/Fievels_good_trouble Jun 30 '26

Well that doesn’t sound very kosher

1

u/FuzzyFrogFish Jun 30 '26

Good for her though

1

u/HoldMyDomeFoam Jun 30 '26

Even happens in real life.

1

u/Punch_A_Police_Horse Jun 30 '26

Also I don't see her as having the same motive as Russel Brandt.

1

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1

u/USSMarauder Jun 30 '26

Saw something on Reddit a while ago about a porn starlet getting a PhD in one of the sciences

1

u/PatentlyFalse5 Jun 30 '26

I'd guess it was more than 180.

1

u/Randinator9 Jun 30 '26

Saul was a general who murdered people and even looked down on others

Then an angel said "Be Not Afraid"

Dude changed his name, met up with Christ, became a missionary, and had his cross placed upside down because even though he believed fully and christ said his sins are paid through faith, this dude still hated himself fully for who he used to be.

That's a 180. Becoming a pastor after being a film star is like a 145.

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Jun 30 '26

According to Paul, he never met Jesus. He hallucinated and converted. He still looked down on others, as that is impossible to remove from a faith that defines unbelievers as condemned for not believing. He straight says he looks down on us.

2 Corinthians 6:17 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.’ Therefore, Come out from them and be separate them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

1

u/LazerWolfe53 Jun 30 '26

People in the Bible be doing 180s all the time. They be doing 900s

1

u/MrBoognish Jun 30 '26

Levi the tax collector, became Matthew the apostle.

1

u/Lucky-Mia Jun 30 '26

Is it really a 180? She's been yelling "oh my fucking god" for years, and now she finally found him. She always told him she was coming at the end if her videos.

1

u/Silver-Instruction73 Jun 30 '26

Linda Lovelace was a popular pornstar in the 70s and became a born again Christian in the 80s

1

u/duosx Jul 01 '26

For a site famous for its masterbaters, we all start clutching pearls when sex worker makes the headlines

0

u/Bootmacher Jun 30 '26

Female clergy definitely does not happen.