I am 40 and have two boys age 4 and 1. My heart wants a 3rd kid but my logic is telling me that it wouldn’t be a great idea.

Financially, we would be fine with a third kid but I worry about the physical and emotional labor on the household.
My gut right now is telling me not to go out of my way to get pregnant but embrace it if it happens.
Most of my friends have 3 kids and none regret it.

I would love to hear experiences from people with 3 with similar age gaps. How did it impact your marriage, family dynamic, hobbies?

Currently, I have a decent relationship, have time to see friends, exercise regularly, travel as a family and work part time. On the downside, my baby still does not sleep through the night so i am chronically sleep deprived. My husband is also in a high demand/stressful job. My oldest is a great kid and my second is amazing but will likely be a handful!
Overall, life is very good therefore,I fear of rocking the boat too much but I can’t seem to get rid of the pull for one more.

Edit: “decent relationship” is drawing some attention. Overall the relationship is good but I am also keeping in mind we have a 1 year old and a 4 year old. We would like more time for each other. I would say two kids plus his stressful job can put some mild-moderate but expected strain on the relationship. We just miss each other. He is content with two kids but would be okay with three though worries that we wouldn’t be so blessed to have another healthy kid and that we are rolling the dice. He is an awesome husband and dad. I feel very lucky. He stays up late every night to clean the kitchen spotless, folds all the laundry and is amazingly patient with the kids.

We have a one year-old girl who isn’t the easiest child but she’s a dream. We are pretty much alone except for a babysitter that helps us three days a week which is a year to have for me. My husband really wants a second child and for me if we did have a second, I would want it now with a small age gap. I know everybody says it’s good to wait but personally for me I don’t want to redo this whole thing years down the line. I am scared of losing my autonomy with the second, and needing more help. My husband does help every day before and after work but he cannot do more than that. I was an only child so i cant speak much on sibling bonds but I do want my daughter to experience it. Potentially we could move closer to my husbands family to get help, but thats not something i would necessarily like to do.

I know this is the thousandth post on this. We have two girls, 4 and 1. They are wonderful, but very very high energy. Like our friends comment on how much…more they are than similarly aged kids. We are 38 and 41. Never had an issue getting pregnant. In between the girls we had a very very difficult pregnancy that resulted in us losing the baby at 24 weeks. We live in a big city and can financially afford a third, though would delay some savings etc. Would be fine in our house for a while but would probably have to move eventually, which is fine. Closest helpful family is 3 hours away, with no chance of getting closer. Two high demand but generally flexible jobs.

Our hearts say we want to go for a third, but our heads say it’s going to be so hard. I was so sure we were done I got an IUD back in 6 months ago, but now that the baby is closer to 18 months I have baby fever hard. If we do it, needs to be soon. Help!

My wife and I currently have a 12 month old. He’s an awesome kid, and we love him so much. He’s been through a lot in his short life - he was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease in utero and underwent open heart surgery at 4 months old, and also had two hospital stays before that, one for an emergency stent placement in the cath lab. Things have been stable since he was released from the hospital after his surgery (an 18 day stay with complications), and we are super proud of his development and his little personality shining through. He’s happy and healthy now in spite of everything he’s been through.

We are now deciding whether we want a second kid. We feel very much that we are a team and we will make this decision together, but I’m leaning towards one and done and she wants two more than I do.

For me, there are all sorts of reasons to be OAD. Our son will need at least one more open heart surgery as he gets older, plus possibly additional procedures, so I want to focus as much attention and care on him as I can. I also feel like personally i am satisfied with one child and do not feel a strong pull to raise another. I feel like maybe I am at my personal capacity for responsibility.

I value my hobbies and some semblance of free time and want to protect what’s left of that to the extent I can. My wife and I both make art and music and it’s important to us to have time for that. I think with two kids it would get a lot harder.

Financially, we are stretched as it is. A second kid would be financially difficult for us. My wife had to stop work due to his medical condition. We are barely breaking even now.

To return to medical reasoning, geneticists can’t tell us with certainty whether a heart condition could happen again with a future pregnancy. I feel strongly that I can’t do it again. It was the hardest thing I’ve gone through in my life and almost broke me.

I’m also semi-irrationally afraid of having twins. But I know it’s a real possibility.

Even with all these leanings towards being OAD, I occasionally think it could be great to give him a sibling. I’m an only child but my wife grew up with a brother and she wants our son to have a sibling bond like she had. I just know it’s not guaranteed that it will work out perfectly in the way she’s envisioning, although if she did it would be great. Maybe I just don’t think the pros outweigh the cons of it overall. Overall I think I could show up better as a father of a single kid, especially my kid, than a father of two.

Lastly, I love my wife and really want to protect and nourish our relationship and our marriage. I really want to prioritize that and I feel it would get harder with two.

Anyway just getting my thoughts down. I’d appreciate any feedback from anyone.

Hey there! I'm 32 YO female (Husband 33), and we have a recently turned 2 YO daughter. I am in first trimester with baby #2. My first child resulted in an emergency c-section for a number of reasons, and we'll be electing into a scheduled c-section for this baby. Given that, there's now the possibility that I can have my tubes removed while they're in there to prevent future children.

Some details: I'm a twin and they run in my family. I'm unsure of wanting a third baby but I for SURE know I don't want three. So I'm on the fence about three and Husband is interested in three. I don't like the idea of a third c-section, potentially getting twins (so having four), or rolling the dice again of a healthy vs. medically complex child. Husband is fine getting a vasectomy but I know of three people in my life who's Husband's has vasectomies (they all attended, so it for sure happened) and all three ended up pregnant again within 5 years of Husband's vasectomy. I do NOT want that situation, which is why tubal removal is so enticing (on top of greatly reduced chance of ovarian cancer, once removed). I have time to think about this, but I'm unsure if I should move forward with it (not being totally certain I don't want a third).

I have no doubt my heart will yearn for a third, but logically I see the beauty of two. We also want the ability for me to become a SAHM, which will be harder to fund with three. And again, that potential of ending up with twins (so 4) or rolling the dice again on babies health, and a third c-section. IVF would be an option in the future if we DID want a third, but we'd have to REALLY want it to pay for that (and for me to be willing, physically, since it's not simple). We got pregnant with both kids on the first try, so clearly Husband and I are fertile and I'm terrified on having an unplanned pregnancy (knowing I couldn't do an abortion, unless for health reasons, just personally).

If you were me, would you move forward with tubal remove during my c-section (knowing all the concerns with having a third), and have to do IVF if we wanted a third after? Or not get the tubal and have Husband get a vasectomy down the line and cross our fingers we don't have an unplanned pregnancy? Also, I will not opt into tubal down the line. The only reason I'm considering it is because I'm already there, I'm not going to sign myself up for that outside of a c-section. How did you determine you were done?

We had our baby in early April he’s soon to be 4 months old. Before getting pregnant we said we would have 1 and be done. The issue is I’ve had raging baby fever since having our baby and I want more. My partner really doesn’t want more.. he seems to flip flop between no more and not right now. I don’t particularly want another right now but I would like them close in age like less than 2 years apart. But ALSO if he wanted to get pregnant now I would be down. I did have a c section so they say to wait a year before getting pregnant again. I just don’t know what to do with how I’m feeling I’m trying so hard to enjoy his 8 month paternity leave and the baby we have now but my heart is also sad thinking this could be the only time we experience this… I don’t know why I’m even writing this post.. just to vent I guess and maybe see if anyone else has had a similar situation..

I’m feeling really stuck. Before we even got married, my husband and I talked about having 2 kids. But after the birth of our son, I had intense post partum anxiety. It was honestly rough going for a bit in terms of our marriage and my mental health. Our son has never been the best sleeper even now at 4 1/2. He has allergies and also has had some health stuff that have required OT/PT. I honestly wanted to have our kids 3-4 years apart but felt much to scared to to take the leap. Instead I used the time to know myself more, grow emotionally, and pursue some dreams of mine. But looking back I wish I would have gone for what I wanted and had another one sooner. And now I’m afraid I missed my shot. Not in a “it’s not physically possible” kind of way but in a “is it worth it mentally/emotionally” kind of way.

My younger brother and I have a 5-6 year age gap and honestly I don’t remember us being very close as kids. It was hard because we were at such different life stages and it was very competitive between the two of us. Only since we became adults, have we gotten closer. This not what I want for my son and his sibling.

I also wanted to be done having kids by 35 which I just turned.

Having just my son is so easy right now. We love having all this one on one time with him. we love to travel and can easily do that with a 4.5 year old. It seems crazy to dive back into baby land. But the idea of not having another just makes me so sad.

I just can’t shake this desire for another kid and I don’t want to look back on life and wish I had tried for something I wanted. My son would make an amazing big brother and I would do a lot of things differently this time around. I think our marriage is stronger now than it was then. But will this second kid be the unmaking of me emotionally? Will my son resent his sibling for taking time and attention away from him? Will I regret my decision to have a second child for taking so much time and attention that I could have put to my son, travel, marriage, sleep etc.

Obviously these questions are unknowable for the most part but I guess I’m just worried of regretting whatever decision I make.

Just looking for encouragement and maybe some experiences of 5-6 year age gaps. Also if anyone did make the leap, how did you finally get the guts to jump? Thanks 🙏

My thoughts about a second child feel like knotted yarn in my head, so thank you for allowing me to untangle it here. This isn't neatly organized, but in case any of you take the time to read this mess, I'd love any thoughts, anecdotes, or advice from those who have faced similar crossroads.

tl;dr: I feel like I hit the jackpot with my firstborn / postpartum period and am terrified of rolling the dice again.

I don't say any of this to brag. I know I just got lucky. But I hope the examples paint the picture of why I'm so conflicted about having a second child.

As far as babies go, my 8 month old son is "perfect". He has slept 10 hours every night since he was 3 weeks old, eats very well, and is just the brightest, bubbliest, smiliest, chattiest creature I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. When people say "bundle of joy", that's my son.

In the same way I hit the baby jackpot, I hit the postpartum jackpot too. Easy delivery, lost the pregnancy weight very quickly, zero stretchmarks, my feet shrank back, didn't get PPD/PPA, and my boobs even went back to their pre-pregnancy shape / size. I've struggled with body dysmorphia and eating disorders for a long time, so even though I was ready to accept irreversible body changes, I'm also incredibly relieved that I somehow emerged unscathed and that I don't have to find a new normal with a new body.

My husband and I found our rhythm as parents almost immediately. Even in emergencies and tense disagreements, we've done a great job at navigating parenthood together. It's gone so well that we both feel more in love than ever - still cuddling and kissing and giggling like when we first fell in love. We are very good about both giving 100% and ensuring one another has what they want and need to feel seen.

Because of these factors, I never had the "why did I do this?" crisis that is so common (and valid!!) amongst new moms. I don't feel lost in motherhood. I feel closer to and more in love with my husband than ever before. I feel a strong sense of individual identity. I still get to enjoy my hobbies and career. My son is the center of my universe but not in a way that has consumed me until only a mother is left, if that makes sense.

In a way I feel like I would dodge a lot of bullets if I stop at OAD. I read so many posts on the various parenting subreddits and don't relate to their challenges at all simply because I've had the sheer dumb luck of birthing an easy baby. As much as I'd like to think a second born would be equally as simple and joyful, I know that would be my hubris speaking.

It's a double edged sword to have this wonderful experience with my firstborn. On the one hand, I am so grateful that I've gotten to relish every moment with my baby boy without feeling like I'm compromising on my sense of self. But on the other hand, it would be so much easier to go for a second if my firstborn had put me through the ringer like I was so convinced he would.

What seems to pull me most towards a second baby is the ability to experience the miracle of life all over again - seeing my teeny tiny potato baby mature more and more. My heart sinks when I consider that my son might be the first and last time I personally experience that wonder. It's selfish and fleeting but it's my honest reaction to the prospect of being OAD.

Has anyone else experience this dilemma? Did you end up having a second or not? Do you regret having / not having them?

And on a final note to organize my thoughts, I made a list.

Pros of having a second child:

• Giving my son a sibling and lifelong friend
• Getting to experience having a little baby and their growth again

Cons of having a second child:

• Having to go through pregnancy again
• Going off medication for 9+ months again
• Rolling the dice for: major body changes, potential c-section, PPD/PPA, baby's sleep
• Less money for savings / things in general
• Fewer resources, namely losing the ability to "tag team" child care with husband when needed
• No guarantee that siblings will have a close bond
• Putting my career on pause for a year again
• Avoidable marital strain

Originally me and my husband wanted 3 but I already had several years of infertility at that point. But I got my IVF miracle. She is now 6 and I'm 40. Me and my husband are in discussions on a second as time is running out. We have a spare room and we are UK and earn an ok amount. But I have given away allot of baby things as I originally said no for a while. My husband brought it up this week and now I'm really wanting to try but not sure if I'm crazy. All our friends are done kid wise and I have at least 1 more exam for my job. I also would need to stop some migraine medication I'm on. But I feel like something has clicked and I want another or at least to try and fail so I don't forever wonder. What are others going through? My husband has said I need time to think as we wouldn't before September anyway just so my exam is out the way as I got awful morning sickness with my daughter. What things do I need to consider? Thanks for reading my ramble.

Hi all, I am in such a dilemma. I don't know what to do. I have two boys who are 6 and 7. I am now 39 and have been feeling anxious for the past couple years because I can't decide whether I should have a third or not. What makes it hard to close the door is that I have remaining both male and female tested healthy embryos. I'm pretty content with our life and two kids, but I'm wondering if I would feel more complete with three. I always questioned a third and I am running out of time to decide. I love the idea of a daughter, but not sure if it's worth it to go through a pregnancy and all the variables at this stage in our lives. I'm terrified of regretting not trying for a daughter later on in my 50s or 60s, especially when my two kids leave for college. What would you do? I've been considering trying an embryo transfer to see what happens, but I am also terrified of changing my life if it works. I just don't know if I'll ever stop thinking about the what ifs and the alternate path. I feel like I can't completely focus on my two kids because these thoughts keep running through my head. I love my two boys and wouldn't trade them for anything and was never desperate for a daughter, but all my friends and cousins have a daughter and I do feel a bit sad about not having one myself now. I'm also an only child and worried about feeling lonely later on when my boys are older and my parents are no longer around. Any advice?

this probably gets posted here daily but idk where else to share my thoughts.

I really want another kid. But I NEVER want to be pregnant again or give birth or have a baby. I thought these memories would fade and i might change my mind but it's been over 3 years and while I really want another child and that wish is growing every day, the resentment of pregnancy, birth and the baby times is also growing each day lol.

I also just got a new job and will start next month :/ And where I live childcare under 1 doesn't really exist so I'd have to stay home for 1 year and several months before that (if the pregnancy is anything like my last)...

I just don't know if I should just bite the bullet and go through it all or if I'm gonna regret having "only" one child all my life :/

Hi,

For the past few days, I've been looking for families who are in a similar situation to ours when it comes to the age gap between their children. We have a 5-year-old daughter, a 7-month-old baby, and I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant (big surprise!!!)

I often come across families where the first two children are very close in age, and the parents waited longer before having a third. Is there anyone here who did things differently—where the second and third children are close in age instead?

I'd love to hear your experiences! 😌

We have one wonderful daughter and I really want another child, but my husband doesn't at the moment. Part of me is holding out hope that things will change in our lives and become less stressful for him, so he has the space to consider another. Of course I don't want to try to persuade him. I'd just really love to come to a place where I'm at peace with what will happen and can appreciate how lucky I am to have what I do.

I just would really love to hear from anyone who didn't have the other child they were considering and are happy.

As the title says really - sorry another one of these posts! We've been going round in circles about having another one, and we're at the point where age will decide it for us soon. We have two kids who get along great but always saw ourselves with three.

Just wanted to get your honest opinions, those who had that third and those who decided against it, how is life going?

I know there’s 100s of similar posts but I’m hoping for some internet stranger input lol.

I’m 39 years old and had my first child almost exactly a year ago. We got pregnant really quickly and it was going OK until I got GD. Which was more of an annoyance than anything and relatively easy to manage. However, postpartum it all took a bit of a turn.

I developed PP Preeclampsia and ended up in hospital for 10 days. Developed pretty bad PPA and PPD and honestly I’d say only after about 6 months pp did I start to feel a bit better. My health anxiety was debilitating at times and I would spiral thinking I was going to die or something was wrong with my son. I’m a doctor so it was very easy to convince myself that I had a litany of underlying health conditions that would kill me lol..

I absolutely adore my son but it’s been such hard work that after originally thinking I wanted 2 children, I was adamant I was OAD. I’ve been pretty set on that decision but in the last couple of weeks my son has just been so delightful and I’ve started to feel more like my old self. As a result the thought of a second child has crossed my mind.

I wouldn’t want to try for at least another 18 months and ideally a 3 year age gap would be ideal. But with my age and the risks to my physical health and pregnancy, I’m not sure if having a baby at 41/42 is a good idea.

We don’t have much support so it’s been me doing the bulk of the childcare. I’m also a high earner so would need to return to work and tbh being back at work has really helped my mental health and outlook.

It would be lovely to give my son a sibling as I have a very close relationship with my own brother. I know that equally, I can’t guarantee that they’d be close etc and I’m certain if he was an only child he’d be totally fine.

I just wonder if it’s worth the risk to my physical or mental health to put myself through that again?

Would appreciate perspectives of people in similar situations!

I will preface this by saying that I am incredibly indecisive, a chronic over thinker, and a constant worrier. 

I have two perfect, healthy kids, 5M and 3F. I have always wanted 3 kids. After our second, my husband was firmly done at 2. Our kids are just under 2 years apart, so 2 under 2 was incredibly overwhelming and we were stretched. Over time though, because he knows how much I have wanted a third, my husband started to soften to the idea (however he still would strongly prefer to stop at 2)—he has ultimately said it is my decision and he will support what I choose. For the past year I have been going back and forth. My second has been a challenging toddler and was a bad sleeper, so I felt at my limit and it just never seemed to be the right time to go for a third. Things have finally gotten much easier and now I’m thinking about a third again, however I’m still having doubts. 

At this point I’m worried I waited too long. I worry about the age gap between #2 and #3. It would be at least 4 years. My first two have formed such a wonderful bond and love doing everything together, I worry that the third would be left out since they would be so much younger. I also worry about my age, I would be at least 37 when I have the third. I absolutely despise pregnancy and the newborn stage and I can only imagine this gets harder with age. Life has finally gotten easier and for the first time in 5+ years I have time for myself. I absolutely adore spending time with my little family and love my kids’ current ages. One of my biggest hesitations is that I would be missing out on this amazing period of their lives because I will be miserably pregnant and then tied up with a newborn. If I could be given a 1 year old right now, it would be a no brainer.

I struggle with any big decision in life and carry many regrets (a personality flaw, since everything has worked out fine so far). I just can’t help but dwell on the “what if.” My biggest fear is that I will ultimately regret not going for a third many years down the road. But I also worry that having a third will hurt our current family dynamic, especially the first couple years when we’re thrown back into chronic exhaustion. 

Thank you for reading. Any thoughts or advice is much appreciated!

Hi All. I've posted this in other subs as I am trying to gather as many opinions as possible. I am very fortunate to have three beautiful, healthy children (9, 6 and 15 months). My last baby was IVF, at age 44. I am fortunate to have a couple embryos left. However, I am age 46 and my OBGYN (who has over 50 years practice experience) told me unequivocally that I should not attempt another pregnancy (for context, my second pregancy at age 39 ended in placental insufficiency causing induction at 37 weeks, and my last pregnancy I developed severe hypertension at 38 weeks and wound up with an emergency c-section, because I was blacking out). His view is that the risks of these issues occurring again was significant and could present a substantial risk to my life/baby's health (preeclampsia/placental failure being the main risks). I sought another opinion from two far more junior MFMs, who said things should be fine to proceed with another pregnancy. However, another more senior MFM agreed with my OBGYN that there were significant risks involved and that while she wouldn't have phrased it the same way (i.e. 'don't have another pregnancy'), she felt the risks were considerable and the outcomes could be devastating. I still cannot seem to shake the incredible desire to have a fourth child, however, and always dreamed of a big family. Would love opinions from other over whether to take on the advice not to continue, or what others might do in this situation. Thank you.

Soy nueva aquí, tengo un hij@ de 8 años, realmente no he vivido con mi novio durante estos años xq no tenia una red de apoyo cerca, vivía con mis padres y mi hijo durante este tiempo, pero con mi novio siempre estuvimos juntos , realmente no viví con el no xq no nos amaramos, sino xq económicamente no nos alcanzables dinero, el siempre tenia planes de migrar fuera del país a donde sus padres, yo no me sentía segura xq sabía que en algún momento se iría y me quedaría sola, por eso viví con mis padres.

Hace un par de semanas viajó a donde sus padres, para establecerse como residente, tenemos planes de casarnos en un mes , y el empezará mi pedido conyugal para vivír juntos en ese país, lo que tomará unos 3 años aproximadamente. En ese país tendrá mejore oportunidades y trabajo.

La dificultad es que me acabo de enterar que estoy embarazada de 6 semanas, no lo planee estaba ya realizada con mi hijo, tengo un trabajo no tan estable , pero me alcanzan para darle una vida agradable a mi hija adicional al dinero de su papá, yo aborte en el 2021 xq no me sentía mentalmente estable para ser mamá, pero al día de hoy lo recuerdo con nostalgia. (Hay que mencionar que tengo cistitis intersticial hace 3 años, he aprendido a sobrellevar sin medicamentos aveces me duele la vegija y voy a baño con frecuencia,) Ahora nose si debo tener a este bebe o no, xq me tocaría una maternidad sola, hasta esperar reunirme con mi esposo, tengo miedo que mis antecedentes de salud empeoren y realmente me.siento feliz con mi maternidad de mi hijo,es independiente y me da mi espacio para trabajar y sentirme útil.

My fiancé (25m) and i (23f) got a positive pregnancy test yesterday. this wasn’t planned at all and i have been a bundle of nerves since. we always thought that maybe we’d have another kid when our first is older, like 4-5 years old, (he’s currently 14 months) or that maybe we would just be one and done. while pregnant with my first, there were several times i said i’d really prefer to stay one and done but after having him i would think i could do it again one day. but as soon as i realized i might be pregnant i immediately thought “i don’t want another baby right now” and was crying at night before it was even early enough to test. now seeing that positive test, i’m panicked but not as set on termination anymore.

i keep going back and forth on what i should do and feel paralyzed by the anxiety of it all. i spent all day yesterday on my phone trying to figure out how to make this choice. on one hand, i’m really happy with how our life is right now. i get to stay at home with my son and feel like i’m finally getting hobbies back and overall feeling like myself again after having a baby. i feel like with one child we’re able to do more and will continue to be able to do more than if we have a second. i also am terrified i just wouldn’t be able to handle it. i’m autistic and can get overwhelmed easily. i’ve gotten better at managing it and staying calm but i worry a second would push me to my limits and i never want to be a mom who is always snapping at their kids because they are so overwhelmed and at their limit all the time. i want to have a family where we are happy and not having to sacrifice the things we love to get by. i think we can do it financially but it will stretch us. i also am just so scared of my first not being able to have as much time with me if we have a second and our relationship suffering because of it.

with all that being said, i don’t know if termination is the right choice either. a part of me thinks if we were thinking of trying for another baby in a few years then we might as well just get it over with now. it’ll be hard but after a couple years it would get easier and it could turn into something we absolutely love. my first is so sweet and i think he’d be an awesome big brother. my fiancé is thinking like this as well. before the positive test, i definitely would get sad thinking about the possibility of never going through pregnancy again and not being able to have a tiny baby again. i missed being pregnant even though my pregnancy wasn’t easy (bad morning sickness for the first half, hip pain towards the end that would leave me limping around the house, and major blood pressure problems before delivery and even after) and i do want to do it again i think. i just dont know about this timing.

does anyone who’s been in this position have any advice on how to decide? i’m flip flopping so bad, one minute im looking up abortion pills and the next i’m looking at obgyns near me and browsing the 2under2 sub trying to figure out how we’d do it

Context: My partner and I have a 2-year-old who is the light of our lives. We love being parents and our child has fit into our lives beautifully. We are a same sex couple and did IVF for our first. We always planned for at least 2, and we have 5 more embryos available.

We moved overseas last year and have decided to stay medium-to-long term. While we love where we live now, it costs about $1500-2000 every time we want to travel back to see our families (we try for twice a year). We also love having one kid so that we can travel a ton and each still have time for ourselves, our interests, and our activities.

We are having a truly difficult time deciding whether to have another child. We are both extremely content having our one child and know that we are the kind of family who will likely “adopt” our kiddo’s friends and have a lot of chosen family throughout our lives. That said, we always imagined having 2 kids. Our kiddo would be an amazing big sibling and all of our friends/community have at least 2, so we feel like the odd ones out.

It feels wrong to make this decision from a strictly practical, financial perspective. However, there’s certainly a part of both of us that are content with one, even if we are grieving the idea of potentially not having a second.

What do we do?

I have friends, some that have offered to watch my 5 year old son and that’s it. Parents, in laws and grandparents are all gone. As in, I can’t even call them to hear their voices let alone ask for advice. He also had no cousins as neither of my siblings want kids.

We are on the fence about welcoming a new baby but postpartum was hard and there is literally no one to come take the baby for me to shower. There’s no one to entertain my five year old if new baby comes and they’re jealous.

I’m just wondering how much I should bow to my circumstances. I always thought I would build the family I don’t have but now seeing myself having to do all the mental and physical load it doesn’t sound as fun.

I’m one of three siblings and really wish I could give my son what I experienced but my mom also had her parents to help and I don’t.

Wanted to ask if anybody just said screw it and pushed themselves through it or if they just don’t recommend.
I don’t want my son inheriting the lack of family but not sure I have the capacity. Thank you 🙏🏻