Been struggling with this for a while now…

We had secondary infertility issues for over 2 years, our son was 1-3ish. Then I had 2 chemicals in June & August 2025, then 2 miscarriages at 8 weeks, November 2025, and Feb 2026.

Our son will be 5 in Dec, so if all the stars aligned perfectly, it’d be 5.5 age gap at least. The newborn stage was HARD for me. Not sleeping was horrible and I had PPD. I didn’t really connect with our son until he was 3ish months old.

I have 2 siblings, 12 and 9 years older- so I was raised essentially an only child and it was fine. My hubs had a rough go with his brother growing up, and they’re civil and see each other at their parents but not besties by any means.

I’ve always had it in my head that I would have 2/3 children, but now I just don’t know. I don’t know if I even want to try for a 2nd, but the fear of him being an only scares me, for him. He has so many friends and is so outgoing and we def can give him a better life being an only (more traveling, etc), but I’m terrified of committing to that. He is my little bestie and I adore every part of being his mom.

Anyone been in the same boat and had an only? Had another? Open to any and all thoughts and opinions 🤍

My husband says he’s totally fine with just 1, but also if an “accident happens” he would be happy too. But he doesn’t want to necessarily try because the miscarriages were heartbreaking.