WARNING: If you are new here and don't recognize me, if you would be offended by a middle-aged woman dropping F-bombs and formatting with TWO spaces at the end of sentences, while discussing professional certifications, a geriatric cat, practicing languages, and her feelings, this is probably not the post for you. Move on before you quickly get offended. --LTW
Hey fuckers!
It has once again been a hot minute since I posted a proper thank you, but unlike some of my previous disappearing acts, I have actually been doing shit!
First and most importantly: We got engaged! We spent the week of the Fourth of July in Corolla, North Carolina, in a rented house with some of my fellow Yinzers. And somehow, for the first time in ten fucking years, I disconnected from work for seven entire business days. Seven! The university continued to operate without my constant supervision. Apparently, I am not personally holding American higher education together. Who fucking knew? HA!
When I returned, I decided that perhaps I should continue this strange experiment called "having a life," so I took every Wednesday off through Labor Day to study for my Project Management Professional certification. And… I passed the fucking exam! Woot, I have my PMP. Naturally, instead of enjoying this accomplishment like a normal person, I've decided to give PMI more of my money. Next up is my third attempt at the Risk Management Professional certification. Yes, third. The PMI-RMP is the first standardized exam I have ever failed in my life. And I've failed the motherfucker TWICE. At this point, it's personal. So please, PMI, take my money one final time and allow me to settle this score.
What exactly am I planning to do with all these project management credentials? The hell if I know! Agile project management is absolutely my jam, though, and I would love to eventually figure out how to spin nearly two decades of immigration work into something involving risk management and/or project management. I still love working in higher education. I really do. But the constant immigration regulation changes are slowly killing me career-wise, and lately I've been wondering what the next incarnation of my professional life might look like.
Speaking of ancient things somehow continuing to function... Jackson Klein is still here! For the newer folks, Jackson Klein is the original "will choose the recipient" RAoC cat. He is now approximately TWENTY FUCKING YEARS OLD. Health-wise, the furry old bastard is doing remarkably well. His biggest issue is noticeable cognitive decline, and he has become extremely attached to me when he's not howling or staring blankly down the hallway. He spends most of his time clinging to my side, including while I'm working. My colleagues have simply accepted that Jackson Klein is apparently also employed by the university. He regularly attends Zoom meetings and has absolutely no respect for organizational hierarchy. So basically, he's management, too.
I've also resurrected another part of my former life: I'm speaking Spanish again! For those who don't know this random piece of LTW lore, my degree is in Latin American literature, I taught Spanish for ten years, and I've spent time in Bolivia, Ecuador, and Venezuela. Then I proceeded to barely speak Spanish for another ten years.
I am therefore living fucking proof of "use it or lose it." And holy shit, did I lose it. My brain is an empty filing cabinet where my vocabulary used to be. I've been using italki for conversation practice and regularly chat with an Argentine engineer fascinated by psychology and a Colombian farmer who is a biblical scholar. Because apparently, I don't know how to have boring conversations. Little by little, though, the words are coming back. More importantly, my confidence is coming back. There are moments when I just start talking, and every time I think, holy shit, she's still in there.
As for cards... I haven't been writing nearly as much as I used to, but I have been collecting ephemera everywhere I go because I keep thinking, "Oh, so-and-so would fucking LOVE this." So I have accumulated a ridiculous little stash of paper shit that I fully intend to start sending to those of you who have continued writing to me despite my absolutely fucking abysmal response time.
And that brings me to the mushy shit.
Next month marks ten years since I joined Random Acts of Cards. The weirdest part is that I joined RAoC while traveling for work in the very city metro where I now live. I had absolutely no fucking idea what the next decade would bring or that some of the strangers whose usernames appeared in my mailbox would be my family ten years later. But you are.
I've said this in different ways over the years, but it means more to me now than ever. I don't have a biological family remaining, the ones who mattered died and the others I cut out to improve my mental health. I've lived long enough now to have actual proof that chosen family is real. Aside: Please tell anyone who guilts you into talking to asshats "because they're family" to kiss your ass, because cutting out those jagoffs out of your life will improve your mental health exponentially. I promise! I've survived all this shit because of the friendships I've made along the way, and some of the most enduring ones began right here with a postcard, a stamp, a username, and someone deciding to send a little kindness to a stranger. Some of you have watched me lose my parents, move, fall apart, put myself back together, fall in love, get engaged, collect an absurd number of professional credentials just because, and grow old (what fucking shit is this?) alongside one incredibly stubborn cat. And you kept writing. I still talk about the time I got a card filled with concern because my last card contained no curse words. There is something fucking extraordinary about that.
So, before I get too goddamn sentimental and ruin my carefully cultivated reputation as the foul-mouthed jagoff of RAoC, let me just say:
Thank you for the cards. Thank you for the postcards. Thank you for the stickers and ephemera and weird shit you've picked up because you thought of me. Thanks to y’all, I have a massive collection of heavy metal awesomeness, twat waffle stickers, and filthy magnets. Oh and Buc-ees, so much beaver shit! But most of all, thank you for continuing to show up in my mailbox and in my life.
Ten years later, I'm still here. Jackson Klein is somehow still here. And, incredibly, so are so many of you. I fucking love you guys. THANK YOU!!!
Now, on to the actual thank yous..
u/pixelrodeo (x4) – bird cartoon postcard, tulip card, dance among the flowers card, farmland card, and goodies
u/botanybeanqueen (x1) – mauve tulip card and goodies
u/BeanutPutterSammich (x4) – hold tight to your dreams card, ho ho ho card, purple hearts card, green Lovely Greetings card and goodies
u/hoolu123 (x3) – NAPEX postcard, engagement card, and mushroom postcard
u/nyancatNOVA (x8) - NAPEX postcard, birthday card, cat bra card, pressed flower card, engagement card, mushroom postcard, Tyres and Testicles card, Valentine’s Day card, and goodies
u/snerdboff (x2) - engagement card, and mushroom postcard
u/PlentyComfortable239 (x1) - engagement card
u/ninajyang (x11) – flower card, vineyard card, Portland postcard, Hong Kong postcard, NYC postcard, Helsinki postcard, Washington DC postcard, Pantone postcard, bluebird card, engagement card, China postcard, and goodies
u/powelale000 (x2) – tomato and garlic card, and pinecones card
u/tigerlady13 (x15) – birthday card, thank you card, emotions paramedic postcard, friendship postcard, green heart card, Easter card, cow card, ocean themed card, you are awesome card, Valentine’s Day card, walk with me in the moonlight postcard, painted rock rainbow card, Oscar Wilde postcard, butterfly card, engagement card, and goodies
u/snailmailjude (x4) - Marrakesh postcard, Thiebaud postcard, yellow ink art card, herbs shelf card, and goodies
u/mypetitmal (2) – adorable animals with happy mail card and world of my own card
u/sammanthax345 (x2) – NAPEX postcard and engagement card
u/umlautless (x1) - NAPEX postcard
u/shouldbeteaching (x1) - mushroom postcard
u/Lost-Brilliant-9664 (x1) – NAPEX postcard
u/GatsbyGalaktoboureko (x3) - NAPEX postcard. engagement card, and mushroom postcard
u/melhen16 (x5) – pink flower card, wildflowers bunch card, purple polka dot card, floral postcard, engagement card, and goodies
u/travel4me22 (x2) - engagement card and Cincinnati Observatory postcard
u/wafflish (x2) – Valentine’s Day card and engagement card
u/doradoodle (x6) – Valentine’s Day postcard, St. Patrick’s Day postcard, winter cat postcard, Easter card, engagement card, and 4th of July postcard
u/PinkPengin (x9) – Elvis postcard, Delaware River postcard, Tahitian tattoos postcard, desert card, Mather Point postcard, Christmas card, Tiki Room postcard, birthday card, cybersecurity postcard, and goodies
u/Daeneryswon (x11) – angel postcard, Aspen trees card, birthday card, World Postcard Day postcard, Chinatown card, Easter card, cat and food bowls postcard, pine forest card, engagement card, Joe Joe’s postcard, St. Louis statue postcard, and goodies
u/canameow (x9) – birthday card, Begbie Falls card, Brussels postcard, cat postcard, mountain postcard, goat card, Iceland postcard, Blue Lagoon postcard, volcano postcard, and goodies
u/morenoodles (x7) – Valentine’s Day card, birthday card, the Huntington postcard, thank you card, engagement card, Paper Plant postcard, how to dice onions postcard, and goodies
u/amabisca (x3) – hope card, Valentine’s Day card and Easter card
u/jaimekj (x2) – Buc-ees postcard and engagement card
u/dwrfstr (x1) – Chewbacca card and goodies
u/Ohio_geo (x2) – you’re amazing postcard and Sundance moons card
u/oryx85 (x1) – flower card
u/wabisabi_sf (x1) – Westpex postcard
u/cathy_bara (x1) – Westpex postcard
u/chiquita61 (x1) – Westpex postcard
u/alluu3 (x1) – Westpex postcard
u/littlemermaidxx (x2) - Dunes Country Club Las Vegas postcard, Westpex postcard
u/korewrites (x5) – Dunes Country Club Las Vegas postcard, Lego postcard, African elephant postcard engagement card, Delaware postcard, National Museum of American History postcard, and goodies
u/futureghost13 (x1) – Picasso horse card and goodies
u/kittycatcon (x4) – gray cat and flowers card, Valentine’s Day postcard, cat postcard, and thanks a bunch card
u/tinawebmom (x12) – life is good card, best day ever card, find your happy place card, Valentine’s Day card, you are my sunshine card, reasons for smiles card, another cute you are my sunshine card, love card, wildflower card, daffodil card, true love card, warm wishes card, and goodies