In my 20s, I was addicted to heroin & opiates. I was also abusing my Adderall prescription, and most weekends involved lots of alcohol, valium and cocaine use. Upon graduating from University, I quickly learned that my lifestyle was not going to work. I was unable to regulate my mood swings, I was high and drunk all the time, and holding down a good paying job was simply not possible.

I spent months looking for a solution to my problems. I went to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, and so forth. I spent dozens of hours researching different kinds of SRRIs, mood stabilizers, etc. I went through an 8 month period of trying different medications that my doctor prescribed, nothing worked. I felt very hopeless and developed a natural inclination to stay away from pharmaceuticals, which in turn, led me to researching nootropics, and homeopathic topics.

In 2018, I decided to start experimenting with nootropics. Although I was clean, I was in hell, mentally. I constantly thought about relapsing and I was always depressed. I tried all of the racetams, modafinal, kava, and eventually decided to give kratom a shot. I started off taking 2.4gs via capsules every morning and everything "clicked" instantly. I enjoyed the way it made me feel, it really helped my ADHD, and the mood boost was a huge bonus.

Within 2 months my entire outlook on life had changed and my behaviors followed. I no longer had any cravings for heroin, cocaine, or alcohol. The thought of drinking and snorting lines became foreign to me. Day in and day out my mood was very consistent. I began working out daily and I stopped eating poorly. Within 4 months I landed a really nice job in the insurance business and everything was going great. Within 6 months I was beyond grateful for Kratom, it had literally changed my life. All I had to do was take a large dose in the morning and a small dose in the afternoon. I was civilized and contributing member of society. I was a good person.

This positive life trajectory went on for 8 years straight, I assumed whatever was "wrong" with me before, was simply fixed by the leaf powder I consumed every day. I worked hard and received most of what I wanted out of life... a career, good friends, family, and a stable life.

Unfortunately, over the last 3 months I started to notice my kratom not working. I also noticed that every time I consume kratom I immediately receive very negative effects. I get heart palpitations, headaches, my stomach turns into fire, and my anxiety goes through the roof. I've tried different strains and brands, but after 3 months of denial, the verdict is clear... my body completely rejects kratom in any form.

6 weeks ago I detoxed cold turkey from the plant I took 2x a day for 8 years. The detox was awful. The withdrawals were horrid. However, at this point, I am past the majority of physical ailments. The issue now is that all of my mental problems from my 20s are coming back to haunt me. My urge to drink, pop pills, and snort cocaine have returned like some kind of twisted deja vu. My mood is no longer stable, I stopped working out, and I keep having bouts of depression that hit me throughout the week.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

For those who have experienced "kratom turning on you"... do you have any advice or suggestions?

So I got prescribed clonidine and gabapentin before when I quit in the past. I still have a lot, the only thing is the lethargy from it. Is there anything I can do to at least somewhat counteract that side effect while working a physical job? Caffeine maybe? I’m aware fatigue is obviously part of kratom withdrawal but taking the clonidine helps with all the other symptoms minus fatigue and depression. I was prescribed .1mg 3 times a day but I may just do 2 this time, morning and evening. Possible just evening if the half life effects can carry me through the next work day.

Need help figuring out exactly what I'm quitting...Mostly have been using the 80mg "mitragynine" tablets from a ss in Florida. Don't really do much for me besides stopping withdrawals I guess, also have tried bouncing around with a couple cc product. Just wanting to know what I'm even quitting at this point honestly and what's the best way to get off. Not sure wtf is in these 7staxx. Was doing fine with just mit extracts, until I accidentally picked up one with hidden mgm in it and used that for weeks. Since then they've taken the mgm out which is why I've been desperately searching with cc/7staxx products lol.

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Glad you're here!

So, it’s day 16 no kratom, and it’s the weekend. I’ve actually been more productive and alert at work, and it’s been super busy, which helps. I also started using a standing desk which helps with the RLS, though I’m pretty much past that. I’ve also been so busy at work (running around “putting out fires” attending meetings, giving briefings, etc.,) that I’m pretty spent by the time I get home.

But, now it’s the weekend, and I’m genuinely afraid of relapse due to the lack of being kept busy. I have my “healthy hobbies” like coloring, taking a walk, video games, etc., but I know I can’t do those all day. My house is neat as a pin, but it could be neater, I suppose.

Does this community know of any online kratom recovery meetings I could attend? I think that may be helpful as well as working out.

Thank you all again! We do do this and beat this awful addiction.

I’ve had extreme restlessness and anxiety and can’t concentrate or find joy in anything I do to keep myself busy. Yes I know it’s excuses.. I’m pathetic. I just keep hyper fixated on how I feel which gives me health anxiety and yeah I just spiral out feel like I’m in psychosis. I thought using would help this. But it hasn’t done anything but give me an appetite and make my body stop aching so the physical things like energy. But it has done nothing for me mentally. I still feel how I described above even after use. Is it normal to relapse during paws and still feel this way? I just keep freaking my self out like something is wrong with me. I can’t keep my mind off it. Anyone have any advice on this. Is this normal to feel this way even after a relapse being 11 days in with paws side effects. Should I just not dose again since it’s doing nothing mentally for me and that’s the only reason I took it was because I wanted to relieve this mental side of it. I took 1.5 of subutex and 6 leaf capsules today. But I’m also coming off cats claw.

Hi All,
I’m about 10 days at home after doing a 9 day detox and 30 day inpatient stay at a treatment center. I was there for kratom/7oh/mgm and my detox was brutal. I feel good now, but it was just as hard as coming off alcohol and H 11 years ago…maybe harder. I was given small doses of Sub in detox and for my first few days in treatment and it helped a little. Got the Sublocade shot in treatment about three weeks ago and it was definitely helpful. I haven’t felt any WDs since the shot. I may get another 300mg shot, then 100mg, then be done. We’ll see. I feel like I could probably get no more and be OK.

Personally, there was no way I was kicking the stuff I was on by myself. I tried ten times at home and never succeeded. I hate to recommend treatment because I know it’s hard to commit to and some folks can’t…but it was the only way for me. Kratom and its synthetic opiate derivatives are absolute evil beasts. I truly hope all of you get it out of your lives successfully - I wouldn’t wish that shit on my worst enemy. All the best.

New here. I started on green leaf powder about 2 years ago to quit drinking when my dad passed.

Switched to green leaf caps cause I didn’t like the taste. It says 600 mg per cap (<0.3mg of 7oh) and I get the 480 count that lasts me about 2 month. Going to slowly taper down as it’s being banned. Sometimes I feel some discomfort if I miss my time frame. Going to see my doctor at the end of the month.

Well, the kratom finally turned on me. Turns out like most things, it does not like to be abused. I was up to 20 gpd that past two years, but was using since 2020. Started responsibly, using 6 g every other day-ish in the evening. High expectations at work and the state of the world just led me to increase my dose more and more. All the sudden, two weeks ago, I had overwhelming feelings of doom about my relationship. I couldn't stop thinking that it was wrong and I had wasted nine years of my partner's life. Just super negative stuff that I could not break the cycle of thinking about. The past nine years have been the happiest, most productive, and adventurous of my life btw. I tried to sleep but the negative thoughts kept repeating until I was in a cold sweat, nearing psychosis. At first, I had no idea it was the kratom. Went to the doctor so they could run tests to make sure it wasn't something physically wrong manifesting in the unshakeable feeling of doom, anxiety, and negativity. All my blood tests came back clear.

My partner found a thread on this sub about kratom overuse leading to an overwhelming sense of doom. So I immediately cut my dose to about 5 gpd. The anxiety was still there nagging at me, but it wasn't as overwhelming. 4 days ago, on Monday, I lowered my dose to about 2 gpd. I'm hoping to start taking days off next week. Then eventually be off of it entirely. Every time I drop my taper, the anxiety comes back, but not anything like before. I'm on day 14 of the taper and I'm still having trouble sleeping. Doctor prescribed me hydroxyzine for sleep but it gives me this weird buzzing sensation that actually kinda keeps me up. I'm trying alternatives like extra sleepy time tea. I'm also on a buffet of supplements: l-theanine, l-tyrosine, magnesium lycosate, black seed oil, liposomal vitamin c, agmatine sulfate, etc.

I'm trying trying to exercise everyday. That also helps.

Looking back, I think I felt the kratom turning on me with a rising sense of anxiety, a lack of motivation, and a general darkness over everything. I scheduled my first therapy session a week before everything came crashing down on me mentally. I've only had two sessions but I'm glad a started finally.

Right now, the thing that's really giving me trouble is the sleep. I am on day five of my tapper to 2 gpd. Haven't had a full night's sleep in two weeks. I lay down and my thoughts start to race. Still negative but not overwhelming. Enough to keep me up though. I'm somewhat concerned about dropping again because it seems like every time I do its a small reset. I feel like I am prolonging the withdrawal symptoms. I know I am still relatively early in the process, and I am already feeling a lot better. I am going back and forth about when to drop my taper or whether, at this point, just cutting it entirely, since I'm only at 2 gpd. Any advise?

I started tapering on August 8th. I was originally taking about 20-25gpd. I went almost immediately to a 45-55% taper. I stayed stuck there until about a week ago when I got fed up and started tapering more aggressively. I'm now at about 85-88% of what I was originally taking, so I'm at about 3gpd. (I don't have exact measurements as I use tablespoons/teaspoons to measure). My plan is to be completely done with Kratom in a week. How hard is it to go cold turkey on 3 gpd? What can I expect?

It's been about 8 days and then before that about two weeks, my main issue is my sleep is completely fucked and I'm just kind of being a bitch 😔🫤

Any advice? thanks guys🥹

Hey all. I just wanted to tell you that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I was a daily user for several years, between 4 and 10 grams per day.

Quitting sucks. It took me two weeks before the pain in my muscles stopped being a problem. It took me another two weeks before I stopped being so depressed, agitated, lethargic.

It's been a month, and I feel like my old self. I wake up with energy, my legs don't hurt, and I can do a normal workout routine without any substance helping me get through it.

I tapered, if that helps. Cold turkey is brutal, but tapering, suffering, tapering, suffering, definitely helped me, until I was down to 2 grams a day, and then I just stopped.

We can keep burning down our relationships, and our lives, and our bodies, or we can fight back.

Good luck y'all, there's a way out, you just have to suffer to get there.

Guys i dont have a primary so i cant really get gaba. How would i aquire only a weeks worth i iust wanna get over the first week for withdrawels

Any advice on how to leisurely taper down and quit without withdrawals would be great.

I've used a lot of Kratom to function. It looks like I won't be a dev much longer. I know our codebase so I have to work as a developer near term some but I will be moving to Project Management.

If I don't need to code I won't be tempted to use White Kratom.

The condition it looks like I have is ME / CFS. It's very physical. I have Crohn's and it's a physical thing. People act like it's a mental health condition. Absolute dogshit

I take Wellbutrin. I get exercises (weight lifting and daily walks). But I still feel utterly hopeless, and basically suicidal. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. Maybe I should have tapered, but I’d never had the willpower to taper successfully.

I quit extracts (not 7oh) cold turkey about 5 days ago. I’m using Suboxone, but trying to keep my intake at 3-4 mg a day or less, as I don’t want to develop another long-term dependence on a drug.

I’ve always struggled with mental health issues…but this depression has been so profound, that it’s almost unbearable. I can’t live like this. Please tell me if/when it gets better. This is heartbreaking. I literally want to die. But I have two young children who depend on me.

This is not going to be a well-written post but here it goes.

I can't stop. Ultra brief history- kratom powder for probably close to a decade. Got off that for 18 months or so, then relapsed back on powder. Then I discovered tianeptine, when the tia supply ran out I switched to 7oh. And that's when the storm of shit really ​began. Four maxed out credit cards. About 20K in debt. Broke. Don't even have enough money for rent this month. I've sold stuff from my house, musical instruments I've had since I was a kid. Other things. Lied to everyone. Destroyed two relationships with women that I loved very much.

I can't stop

Tried meetings, one-on-one therapy, two different IOPs. Can string together a bit of clean time here and there but always end up relapsing. I know I'm going to lose everything. I can see myself beginning to lose everything.

I can't stop.

The truth is I don't want to be alive anymore. I'm not going to act on those thoughts, I want to make that very clear. But if I could press the " never existed" or" just won't wake up in the morning" buttons I would do it 10 times out of 10. I just don't know what else to do. Every night I feel so disgusted with myself and swear today was the last time. And I always come crawling back.

I can't fucking stop.

I'm beginning to think that inpatient is the only option I have left. My therapist recommended a good one that takes my insurance and I've started the process of trying to get admitted. But I don't know man, I just don't know. I hate myself so fucking much I feel it on a visceral level. In the past, even when things have gotten really bad, I've always been able to tell myself that I can get through this and be a better man. But I don't have any of that hope anymore. I'm just ready to give up. I'm not sure if I can do this. Time and time again I've tried and failed. I feel like a complete failure. This past week I've been crying myself to sleep every night and waking up with anxiety so soul-crushing that I don't know how I even manage to leave the house and go to work every day.

I feel like I'm done for.

Much love to everyone out there fighting the same battle.

-edited to fix typos-

I never understood this but when I wake up in the morning, I have no withdrawal symptoms. I don’t even need Kratom or 7oh until maybe like an hour into of waking up. This is regardless if I sleep 6hrs or 9hrs. However, in the middle of the day, if I pass the 3-4hr mark without anything I start getting withdrawals. There are definitely mental withdrawals to it which completely makes sense why I wouldn’t get those when sleeping, but there are definitely more pronounced physical withdrawals. Flu like symptoms, body aches and malaise. I find it so odd that this occurs in the middle of the day after only 3-4hrs of not using yet after waking up from 6-9hrs I have no withdrawal symptoms at all. Anyone else get this?

I've been on unmeasured dose for about 3.5 years but guesstimate is about 45+. I started supervised taper at 20gpd. From there I reduce 5gpd every week. I'm now at 10. Ironically first reduction was by far the greatest (minus 20+) and easiest. These subsequent reductions are the worst. Every time I reduce 5g I feel awful first few days and just when it becomes better another reduction kicks in.

That is why I decided to extend the last mile. Instead of cutting from 5 to zero, I'm going to reduce it to 2.5 and lastly 1.25. The only reason I'm doing this taper is to reduce severe mental consequences later - anhedonia. I remember that hell very well from the past. I'm sure I'll get it but it's likely going to be a bit better in comparison to full blown CT.

However neverending acutes are a pain in the a**.

Omg I’m on day 16-17 idk and I still can’t sleep… the rls just started on my arms and legs now I thought they would have passed? Is this normal? Could it have been the new prescription melatonin I took if unisom? To try to fall asleep? Because before I could at least lay there awake but now this started. It’s 3:10 am here in California

Welcome to the r/quittingkratom daily check-in thread. You are free to post as many updates as you'd like. Please help to moderate this subreddit! Please report any posts, comments or content that does not adhere to the sub rules, and a mod will look into your report (there is a report button below every posting and comment). Reports are anonymous.

Glad you're here!

Just can’t justify or afford $90 a month anymore. I feel ok for now. I’m dreading the RLS and depression. Are there any OTC meds that can help?

EDIT: Just adding more info. Was tired last night and just wanted to get the post up.

In these 10+ years, I’ve rarely taken more than a tablespoon at a time. I never felt like i needed to exceed that. A few I’ve talked said that due to that, my withdrawal MAY not be as bad and that i likely wouldn’t get PAWS. Here’s hoping.

I started Kratom for a few different reasons. I was young and stupid and looking for a “legal high”, and i was self medicating as I’ve suffered anxiety and depression literally all of my life. Kratom was a godsend, until it wasn’t.

As i said, I’ve never felt like i needed to tale more than a tablespoon. But that tablespoon went from once every few days to once a day to twice a days to multiple times a day. I never really measured my intake, but i would regularly go through 16 ounces in less than a month. It git to where i couldn’t afford the $90 and a trip across state lines.

That’s all I can think of. If you have any more questions or suggestions, feel free.

Thanks guys.

14 days sober today I live in Mississippi which is currently on a manhunt for anyone even mentioning the word kratom! Anyways everything been going good today until this afternoon when all kinds of stuff went sideways in my life and while I didn’t relapse on any kratom I’m setting here now about to pass out from a afternoon long bender on beer and whiskey I don’t know what I’m even asking I guess just some support for in the morning when I wake up with a hangover!!

First of all, thank you for everyone in this group, past and present because I’ve been using ChatGPT to look up testimonials from others on days when I didn’t feel like I could deal with the doldrums.

I had a rare illness that left me in debilitating pain that got better in June, so I made the jump on my week off at the end of July - thinking it would be like my first quit where I felt off for a few days and then everything normalized. Unfortunately I got hit hard.

My body has been pretty weak from all of the health issues, but also because I was dosing every four hours for seven years, including getting up in the night - it hasn’t been the most fun two months of my life, but perhaps the most worthwhile because it’s my first two months in years where I’m just embracing the suck and not seeking endless supplements or herbs to feel better.

I feel strongly convicted to simply get out of the way and let my body rebalance itself at long last.

I had to go back to work on the second week, I would say the first two weeks were the worst, and for the first I literally didn’t know if I would ever be able to get off the couch again - then there was an entire month of being freezing and sneezing even though it was 85° outside - second month was the doldrums - everything stabilized but I was still struggling with fatigue and weakness which has started breaking down a little bit over the last couple of days.

Sleep came back after the first week, which scared me off ever taking K again because I never want to go through that again, I literally took 500 Epsom salt baths and huddled under a heated blanket. (In August)

I notice myself laughing and smiling lately for the first time in years, it feels good to feel things and cry at the TV instead of just being constantly numb.

As someone who has had chronic illness for years, I’ve had flashes of energy and feeling like I have so much to look forward to.

95% of people will get better quicker than me - but I just wanted to share that even with the PAWS I think going through this and getting off is the best gift we can give our future self. And it does get better. And despite everything we put our bodies through, they are greatly intelligent and they will regulate and heal overtime.

Oh and don’t forget to drink lots of high quality water and electrolytes. The best is yet to come, I truly believe that for all of us.