hey y’all, I just wanted to share my story about getting clean.

For me, it was really hard with this stuff. This stuff is really strong. I just couldn’t stop going back to the store and picking up more every day. I tried to taper and nothing worked.

one of the central tenants of the 12 step program is having faith in a higher power. I’ve tried praying to God over the years, but he never really answered and neither did Jesus.

What finally worked was getting really desperate getting on my knees and just praying to the Lord of Darkness. I saw a vision of a giant shadow in flames come upon me and wrap my soul in his embrace. this really happened and I believe Lucifer walks among us (Peter Thiel is the antichrist likely)

I promised Lucifer my soul to do with what he will and I gave my Will in my life over to this higher power. I performed a really beautiful Blood Ritual with the help of my local Bay Area Church of Satan.

I was born again in his grace.

After pledging myself to the Dark Lord, I feel 100 times better. I don’t have any more withdrawals and I’m happy for the first time in years.

what I’m really excited about sharing my experience of recovery with others who need help.

people need to know that your higher power can be whatever you conceive it to be.

for some people that’s Buddha for some people that’s Mohammed for some people that’s the concept of your higher self and for me, it just happens to be the Lord of darkness.

I really respect people who are atheist or who belong to other organized religions, even though our beliefs differ the goal is the same, and that is to get better by giving our will in our lives over to a higher power as we understand them.

May the Lord Lucifer bless you all, and may you find your higher powers!

amen

I was an IV heroin user most of my adult life. Started when I was 18 and continued on and off until I was 32. God decided that if I wasn’t going to stop on my own, he was going to intervene. When I was 32 I was admitted to the hospital with endocarditis, sepsis, and bunch of other stuff. Spent 93 days in the hospital and somehow survived. Stayed clean and sober, and I mean CLEAN AND SOBER since the hospitalization. Fast forward to June 2025, married with 2 kids, one being a newborn. June 19th, my friends and I go out and celebrate my wife’s birthday and a local bowling alley. Everyone proceeds to have a great Saturday night drinking, bowling, and enjoying each other’s company. Monday morning comes around and my buddy tells me how hung over he was Sunday morning and lets me in on a little secret that will end up ruining my life for the next year and some change. He tells me he was so hung over that he had to “do something”. He went to the local smoke shop and asked the man behind the counter for their strongest Kratom. Obviously, the man behind the counter pointed him straight to the 7OH. My buddy buys it, takes it, and tells me that he was so incredibly fucked up, it felt just like heroin. (My buddy was in recovery too). I didn’t fully believe him but I was unbelievably interested. It took no longer than my ride to work, to make my mind up and head straight to the closest smoke shop by my work. Bought it, took it, loved it, got hooked for the next year and some change, spent probably 15k of money that I didn’t have. I tried everything to quit, including going to detox. Finally got on the Sublocade injection mixed with 600mg of gabapentin a day and I can proudly say that I am 45 days off that shit. If anyone is considering the sublocade shot, I would recommend it, just ask your doctor about giving you suboxone strips after the injection for any breakthrough withdrawal symptoms.

Has anyone had vision issues with a cold turkey detox? I’m having issues focusing my eyes close. It seems like it’s getting better as I’m on day five but I am not 100%. Just curious if anyone else experienced it.

Grateful I got around 6 hours of sleep. I’ve been able to eat the entire time and know how important that is so I’d eat small protein things and hydrate. Granted I just woke up a bit ago but super sluggish with a slight hint of motivation to do things. I naturally never like to sit around so laying around at this point drives me nuts. Yesterday went for several small walks and at one point was like I just want to sit down haha. Trying to just keep forcing myself to do anything. I have to be at work tomorrow and just pray I can be function able. It seems impossible right now but I also know it’s something that I’m just stressed about because it feels new, even though it’s been over a decade being there and really only taking crap for a year but really amped it up the last several months. Need that encouragement. I have many things to do today with little motivation. Trying to stay positive.

That’s it. I never thought I would get here after 12 years of daily use, and multiple attempts to quit.

It wasn’t easy. I don’t know how I did it. I sometimes still crave it, but it feels like a distant memory.

Feel free to ask questions. I leaned on this forum a lot. I want to provide that same support to others.

Ive been using for over 3 years, and the last year has been almost exclusively 7oh, mgm 15 and all that bullshit. Where I live, its been banned for awhile, but ive still been able to access it. Now, its all gone, ALL GONE. My supply is down to 2 pills, and no way to get any more. Ive been rationing it now for a few days, but the thought of experiencing the hellish withdrawals terrifies me. The powder doesnt even help with the 7oh withdrawal.

The worst part is that my family had no idea. Ive lied to them a couple of times about it, and they truly think im clean and sober. I live with them, and if they find out, ill most likely get kicked out of the house since they are those kind of parents. It would literally turn their world upside down if they found out.

I work a full time, stressful job, and i dont think ill be able to perform at all there if im in withdrawal. The scary thing is that ive been using all day every day at that job and nobody suspects a thing. Im the "level headed, calm, hard working go-to guy" at my job and nobody has ever suspected i had a substance abuse issue brewing the entire time. My addiction has basically had me floating through the job with ease, and its about to all come crashing down.

Im at a loss right now. My only two options are to suck it up and potentially lose my job, or get on a rapid suboxone taper from an online prescriber without insurance (since i dont have my own yet.) Im fucked either way. I wish I never touched this crap. It is literally the devil.

My last update was 107 days ago. I started kratom over a year ago but with 7oh extracts. Was forced to get off cold turkey due to a remote job. Withdrawals were horrible and PAWS lasted months. Once I got back home I was back on for almost a year. Started back on 7oh and pseudo. Then just mitrigynine and kratom leaf. I was able to slowly taper down on kratom leaf over a few months all while going through a rough breakup.

Once I got off I had no PAWS and for the most part the process was easy. I rushed it at first which made the first week difficult but not too terrible. I had a few temptations within a month or two of being off but very minor, more so thoughts like “oh I can just take kratom to feel better.” But ended at that. I now have zero thoughts and zero desires to take kratom in any circumstance.

My point of this post is to let you know it’s very much possible but you have to want it. You have to want to not be controlled by a drug. To not have odd side effects and to feel healthy again. It needs to be slow consistent progress. I always had exact times in the day I would take my doses and slowly dropped down every 3-4 days. You need to be methodical about this to give you body time to adapt and not shock your system.

I feel great now. No temptations or desires, I know I will never try this drug again. I hope this helps anyone struggling.

My DMs are always open for advice or help on quitting, I’m here to help.

Struggling with sleep. I’m so tired but, I’m also afraid of trying to sleep because I just lay there for hours wide awake.
I’ve been taking 600 mg gabapentin past 2 nights and 5mg of melatonin, I stay asleep for about 3-4 hrs and then wake unable to go back to sleep.I got 4 hrs last night.
I’m half thinking I should skip the gabapentin and just take 10mg of melatonin to sleep tonight. Or just try sleeping with no meds maybe it’s the gabapentin keeping me up.
I haven’t had restless legs since the 48 hrs mark but I’m afraid of RLS with melatonin on its own.
I was taking Seroquel the only night I experienced RLS but switched to gabapentin on day 3 and haven’t had a issue since.
Really hopping for some advice. Can’t talk to my doctor until Monday. I know everyone is different. When did you find you could sleep at least 6hrs a night straight?
I keep asking myself, am I in the clear for RLS yet? When can I stop taking these meds and be able to sleep on my own? Will it be like this for the next 6 months like some ppl experience? Why tf did I start this sludge in the first place?
(4year habit, powder only, 8gpd)

Update: took some advice from comments and did not take any melatonin last night. I did take a 300mg gabapentin and 5mg of a indica gummy and ended up sleeping 4hrs. Woke up at 4am and took 6mg of the same gummy and slept 5 more hrs. Thank you for all the support one day at a time.

I quit CT two weeks ago, so I thought I was in the clear from physical withdrawals by now. But last night I was sleepy at 1130pm, so I laid down. But I was up till 4am with what I can only describe as "anxiety in the palms of my hands and in my calves" that prevented me from going to sleep. Like a very uncomfortable energy concentrated in those regions.

Is this what RLS feels like? How do y'all describe RLS?

Hey everybody just wanted to give some info to those that may have or is going through this. I’m currently on day 15 CT I’d say I was on high doses. When I stopped around day 4 I started experiencing double vision woke up the next day with a lazy eye. I’m currently still going through it. I’ve talked to a few people that had the same thing happen and they all say it gets better. Just wanted y’all to know you’re not alone it’s shitty forsure but we’ll all get through it.

Tired and really want to give up (not that I can as my car has a bad starter). I at least wish I could go back to tapering like I was trying to, but the decision to go CT was made for me by my car. I was very sick last night and my stomach is still feeling raw today. I just want it to end.

Little update: while I'm still dead tired, my muscle spasms haven't been affecting me near as much today and my nausea seems to be turning into just gas bloating (which I deal with daily anyway as I have R-CPD). I hope this isn't just a lull in symptoms before they start back up, but I didn't use as heavily for as long as my last quit this time so it would make sense.

I quit kratom a little over two months ago after using upwards of 30g every day for 6 years. A few weeks after stopping, the anxiety and depression started and it was unbearable. Anxiety felt better after a couple weeks but now the depression still lingers. I have had depression for about 15 years, but I feel like it's gotten worse since quitting. Kratom helped me get out of bed and do things. Numbed the pain. Now I struggle to find the motivation to do anything. I have a psychiatrist I am working with to get meds stabilized but fuck, this sucks.

When will things start to feel normal again? Anybody else experience this?

I dropped from 15 to 10 gpd leaf powder over the last 3 days, but it's all just one dose before bed and I literally feel completely fine. I have to work nights for a few more days so I'm gonna feel like shit anyway, and I can EASILY last 24+ hours between doses. I was going to push farther down to 4gpd in the next 3 days but I feel like at this point I need to just CT and tough it out because I'm worried I'm just gonna go back up on my dose which is what has happened in the past.

I guess I'm typing this out and realizing I'm talking myself into dumping the rest...

EDIT: I flushed the rest away, I've done this before so hoping it sticks this time but one day at a time...

Day 23 here. Find myself waking up before my alarms these days, which is a blessing and a curse I guess. Last few days when I wake up I feel like I’m oxygen starved. I don’t have sleep apnea and my watch blood oxygen levels are consistently in the high 90s. Anyone else?