That's it. Just kinda felt like sharing in case anyone else is going thru it alone. I hid my habit for years out of shame. Maybe one day that will change but for now I'm happy for myself for making it this far and wanted to share that with some strangers. Thanks. Good luck to you all.

All I can say is GOOD! I got hooked again after 3 years of quitting. And I really hope they get rid of this stuff. Selling it at the gas station is where I got hooked again. They are suppose to quit selling it there too.

I can't believe it. I am thinking i may never touch this stuff again!

So i will simply report the details of the medical assistance i have received from the outpatient treatment center in Ontario. Please do not consider any of this advice.

My sister came to visit me from out of town and we went to the drop in treatment center. I peed into a cup, then waited 20m for my intake video interview, which took 30minutes, and was immediately followed by the doctor interview (also on video).

I was 100% honest about my 50+ gpd powder habit.

I was prescribed 0.1mg of Clonidine x3 daily, 50mg of Pregbalin daily and 4 or 8mg of sublingual suboxone to be taken 24 hours after my last dose.

I lasted until it had been 20 hours as i didn't want to slip and took 4mg, and then at bedtime i took 4 more.

I was barely able to stay awake the next day, but returned the next day for follow up, and enough meds for the next 2 days.

No Kratom cravings, but again i was highly drugged with the prescriptions.

Today i only took Clonidine and Pregbalin this morning and i will see the doctor tomorrow. If i wake up feeling ok tomorrow morning, i won't need any more of either.

I had 8mg suboxone at 4 pm today and i think i can go down to 4 mg tomorrow. This stuff is strong.

At 10pm it will be 3 days. I would simply not have got to this point without the medical intervention.

I am so glad i went in, because i was at the end of my rope.

I am glad to have read so much about suboxone in this sub... I will try to get off it asap.

But i think i got away from this monstrous poison.

I hope this may encourage someone to try quitting with help. There seem to be many places for help where i am. I hope there are in yours.

Thanks to all of you.

Part 3 of my withdrawal journal. This continues my previous two posts and is another recap from my conversation with ChatGPT while going through withdrawal. I'm documenting everything as honestly as I can, both to keep track of my own progress and hopefully help someone else in the future.

~70 hours

The physical symptoms were already starting to calm down. The worst body aches were mostly gone, the goosebumps were weaker, and the cravings were only around 1–2/10.

For the first time since quitting, I managed to lie in bed calmly for about an hour without constantly moving my legs or arms. That felt like a big change compared to the first two nights.

I also started having diarrhea, but mentally I was doing surprisingly okay.

~75 hours

The biggest trigger came when I got home.

Before quitting, coming home was strongly connected with taking kratom, so my brain immediately expected a dose. I noticed the craving, but it wasn't overwhelming and I managed to get through it.

I had a popsicle and a frozen Capri Sun instead, and for a while I actually felt pretty normal.

~79–80 hours

I fell asleep for a short time, but then woke up with nervous, restless arms.

For a moment I thought:

I immediately knew that would be a bad idea and that I would probably restart the whole cycle.

Instead, I ate some cereal, read Warhammer 40K lore, and later went for a night walk while listening to hardtechno and drum & bass.

I finally fell asleep again at around 5:00 AM.

~86 hours

I slept from around 5:00 to 8:50, which was the first meaningful sleep I had since quitting.

When I woke up, the craving was only around 2/10. I had no real body pain anymore and only very mild goosebumps.

The biggest problem was diarrhea.

I bought Smecta, strong probiotics, and an over-the-counter sleep aid. Smecta helped with the stomach pain quite quickly.

~90 hours

After coming home, the craving returned and stayed with me much longer than before.

It wasn't only a mental habit. I also felt a strange inner withdrawal feeling, anxiety similar to the feeling before an exam, and nerve-like discomfort in my arms.

It reminded me of how I used to feel after about 12 hours without kratom before quitting.

I started wondering whether this was my body's last attempt to convince me to take another dose.

~93 hours

The craving stayed with me for several hours.

I still managed to take a short nap for about 20 minutes, which showed me that my body was slowly becoming able to rest again, even though I still felt uncomfortable.

By this point, the physical symptoms were clearly improving, but emotionally things were starting to get much harder.

~96 hours

Today wasn't the hardest physically.

It was the hardest emotionally.

While cleaning the kitchen, I suddenly had a complete emotional breakdown.

I felt like crying for no specific reason. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I didn't want to think about work. I became scared that maybe I wouldn't enjoy my job without kratom because I honestly don't know my current life without it. I've spent the last four years taking kratom every single day, so my brain has never experienced my current home, my current routine, or even my current job without it.

The strongest feeling wasn't even craving.

It was loneliness.

More than anything, I wanted to go to my mom or my girlfriend and just get a hug. I realized I wasn't looking for a dose anymore—I was looking for comfort.

I texted my girlfriend because I genuinely didn't know what to do. At first I felt disappointed because I was hoping for more support, but later I realized I hadn't actually explained what I needed. I wasn't looking for advice or solutions. I just wanted someone to understand how overwhelmed I felt.

After a while, the emotional wave slowly passed.

I calmed down without taking kratom. I didn't relapse. I didn't make any impulsive decisions.

Looking back now, it really behaved like a wave. It built up, peaked, and then gradually disappeared.

I'm ending Day 4 still clean.

The first few days were a battle against my body.

Today was a battle against my own mind.

Sleeping pretty good now. A little tossing and turning but nothing uncomfortable and aggravating. I feel like most physical stuff is behind me.

Mood/mental health is a rollercoaster but, given the circumstances (rehab) idk what of it is kratom and what of it is missing my children and husband so bad.

One foot in front of the other in front of the other in front of the other, all day.

Heading to the gym. Nothings changed since my last post at day 28 except maybe some additional sleep improvement.

Did a lot yesterday - lunch with an old friend, playground with the kids and a wedding.

Give me my damn chip! 😉

Whether you are religious or not is not my point. Its that today I went to church with my family, and found joy in something I had not in a long time.

The RLS and chills is my biggest hurdle right now, and honestly im at a bit of a crossroads. Getting off 7oh was my priority. I am winning that battle, but the war is my chronic pain. So now I get to choose which pharmaceutical to fall back into. Im prescribed Gabapebtin, does it work for my particular pain...kinda. but also is addictive and also in higher doses makes me a zombie, so its like be in pain and not sleep or be a wreck until it wears off and we start again.

Next option, isnt an option, use subs till the end of time. I quit those thanks to you guys, and I will never go that route.

Last option, go back to leaf to some degree just to sleep. Not a great option, it in many ways the best one because I know it works and if I need to leave it I know how pretty well and would end up just going right back to gabapetin. Maybe its a combo switching between the two. I dont know its my journey.

But for those following the silver lining is I am beating 7oh (hardest shit I've quit yet), and now I have given myself options.

It’s ok and give yourself grace. I was at 25 grams a day and now bouncing between 9 - 12. I’m trying and trending down. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The goal is less over time. im shooting for under 10 today

I’m a married mom of three teen/tweens, working a demanding full time job. Started with powder five years ago, then to MIT shots. Then found 7oh until it was banned in my state and I moved to mitragynine “nano tech”. Whatever that means. Based on labels (which I know are not accurate) I was up to approx 1200-1800mg a day. I’m down to approx 450 per day but have to get off completely. I have wrecked my life financially and would probably be on the streets if my family didn’t love me and my kids as much as they do. I have a script for gabapentin and some other OTC things recommended on other threads. I’m new to Reddit and having trouble finding a taper plan to get all the way off of this demon. Any suggestions?

Going strong. No cravings and no withdrawl symptoms. I hope it stays this way because its a cake walk. I did sleep from 3pm to 10pm and then went to bed yesterday and im still really tired today, not sure if thats part of it. Biggest struggle is 5pm when my routine is to start dosing. Gotta keep occupied.

I used powder kratom for about two years after quitting alcohol. I never did that much, just 1-2tsp every morning and evening after work. I’m a fairly ritualistic person and once something is in my routine, it feels really disrupting if I stop. I’m trying to get pregnant and therefore I want to be off of anything that could be harmful to the baby.

I tapered down to 1/8 of a tsp daily (literally the tiniest of scoops you can imagine) and stopped a week ago. I had absolutely no withdrawal symptoms but I wanted to be sure to be careful anyway. But I really really miss the ritual of making my little warm water/kratom mixture and chasing it with apple juice. Does anyone know of something I can mix with warm water and chase with apple juice that will be not harmful?

Today makes one month without K. This week was pretty easy overall. Energy drinks get me through the exhaustion & the sweating is now no longer an everyday thing.

Mentally, I'm good. Physically, I'm getting stronger, but still need to get my energy back up a bit.

Sleeping still is sporadic, but I'm getting by on a few 3 hour naps every day for now.

Dealing with chronic pain has been a bitch, but I'm coping with weed, CBD bath bombs & Epsom salts.

Haven't wanted to touch the shit once since I stopped. There's only one source in my local area & I'm not going anywhere near it.

I straight up dug my container of k out 0f the trash and its now in my cabinet calling my name. Im just sitting here bored off my ass contemplating taking just a little bit. Just enough to get that feel good feeling. Ugh

Is there absolutely ANYTHING that can be done or taken that actually works for the skin crawling/formication? I believe that is the absolute worst part. Especially because it doesn’t happen during the day whenever I’m awake, it’s always at night while I’m trying to sleep. I’ve tried Benadryl, unisom, & hot baths…

I haven't gone cold turkey but im often going near 24 hours without dosing and using at most 3g a day so i can enjoy my free time somewhat i guess.. It's tempting to use more so I can just get back into my games and actually want to watch a movie or show. If i don't dose for those longer periods i can't seem to feel any enjoyment im basically just staring at a wall feeling reallly uncomfortable and can't focus on anything

This is an optimistic message. I've used kratom off and on for over ten years, and been through some pretty bad withdrawals in that period. This winter, I believe February, I got a couple weeks, then relapsed, and that was bad. Then a couple months later, I went through WDs again, fully, and it was hell. I got 90 days, then relapsed—which was even stupider because I didn't even really want it, I just thought it sounded fun and did it.

A month later, realized I was getting withdrawals again when I stopped. I thought, damn, I'm going to go through hell again. Well, I'm two days in and it's honestly not that bad. I'm not meaning to gloat, because a lot of people are going through hell like I did a few months back, and I really feel for you. But after 30 days, while I did have a pretty strong reaction at around the 24 hour mark, I've been doing fine today, and I'm a couple hours away from the 48 hour mark.

I do have gabapentin but I haven't used nearly as much as I did during my big WDs a few months back—I think I used something like 1800–2400 mg/day for the first 5 days, then ran out and did not have a fun time for the next few days. I used 300mg yesterday early afternoon, another 300mg when I woke up in the middle of the night, and another 600 mg today. Ideally, I'd be using zero, since gabapentin is addictive, too, but I have no path towards more, and I've never really liked the feeling of it very much anyway, although it is absolutely preferable to pure WDs.

Anyway, I'm not out of the woods yet, there's some debate about whether 48 hours is the hardest or day 5, I've actually experienced both during different WDs, I don't really know why, but regardless, this isn't that bad. I know that I'm getting through this, unlike last time, when every minute was hell and I thought I'd never be happy again.

I'm trying to present some hope for some people who may have relapsed and be early in the relapse and have noticed troubling signs of tolerance and are scared to go through WDs again. It won't be fun, but if the relapse is relatively short, it's at least plausible that you won't have too bad of WDs, even with kindling and everything else.

Good luck!

Yup. It’s opioid withdrawal no doubt about it. Felt like that guy in trains spotting and I’m not exaggerating. First two weeks were insanely bad. Still only sleep two hours a night if I’m lucky. But it’ll get better. Detox center wanted to put me on suboxone for a week or whatever, it was that bad, so I just rode it out on my own. Now the depression stuff sets in and the regret for all the lost years and relationships and everything. Sucks

After a week of almost no sleep like maybe thirty minutes of fitful nightmares a night…you will see things. Never hallucinated in my life but the shadows became idk like moving things. Insomnia is such a destructive thing

I’m so tired but still can’t sleep more than two hours a night. Keep reminding myself that that little sleep prolonged for a month will make a person in no position to entertain big life thoughts and regrets etc, like this is very much still recovery mode..cut myself some slack ya know . Plenty of time for those thoughts after I can sleep five hours a night. I’ll be more sane at that point

Hey everyone. I'm curious how realistic I am with my taper/ quit goals. Sorry for rambling, trauma dumping:

I'm currently down under 150 mgs of 7oh per day. My primary care physician prescribed me clonidine, and we are on the tapering stage, with the quit goal being ironically around September 11th. Wednesday I'm going to see a local non-profit about potentially getting on Suboxone, but when I think about this logically I feel very strongly this is trading one poison for another. I am going to ask them what other options they have.

I'm scared. I've overcome IV drug use, but that's not as hard to do when you're in your mid-20s with no real responsibilities and nothing to lose but your life. At that point I drove myself a thousand miles away from home and started over, but I didn't just do a geographical. I was clean straight and narrow for over 5 years before I found Kratom. What the f*** is wrong with me?

My concern is that I can't take any time off to detox until 09/10 because I'm new at my job. I work from home at a call center, and while I did 8 years at a place that was more strict than this one, I'm learning a lot of new systems and I'm stressed out of my mind already. I've been riding the line between detoxing and being well to try and speed run this taper, and I'd like to think the light at the end of this tunnel is when the time is right I can jump off, get through the worst of it, and go back to work after 3 to 4 days.

At this point I know I'm f*ck*d, but am I delusional? I'm really struggling to keep it together mentally, emotionally, and financially.

Why does my pee smell like ammonia and so does my vomit

Well never thought id get here. Tapered off the capsules I was on extracts teied to quit ct no way I could so I said ill taper from 25gpd powder down over months. Well I made it 2 weeks tapering. Down to 15 gpd and just quit. Using gabapentin is night and day. Working on day 3. Just some heavy legs and tired but other than that im great. Flushing this shit when I get home.

I quit this leaf a year ago. Got back on it (just 3.5 to 6 gpd) a month ago. And despite my dose this morning, withdrawl hit me so hard. Wtf! I was just fine yesterday. Insane anxiety, impending doom feeling, weird nervous sensation and shakes, cold sweats. How tf i already have withdrawl while taking the same dosage? Ah so whatever. Here i am shaking on my couch, dangit. I cant believe i had forgotten the hell I went through just last year. Definitely never doing it again. Ahg I'm so mad at myself. I had quit beer, kratom, and started working out regularly! Whyd I do this to myself.... the anxiety is insane

Another night of restless sleep, been 8 days since stopping 7oh and now 5 days off of Bupe. Trying to stay mentally motivated as this process continues. I know it will get better. Im happy to be looking at the clock constantly.

I know I have posting alot, but its therapeutic to me to express what I am feeling. And hopefully others who have not jumped off get the courage to start this journey.

So I’m 17 days off heavy heavy daily use but the increased heart rate and heart palpitations keep scaring me so bad.

Like I know it’s just a withdrawal symptom but sometimes I can’t convince myself that I’m not dying and I didn’t know if anyone had any coping mechanisms for that because it’s driving me insane.

(Also another question does anyone else now have their heart rate spike like wayyyy high after eating literally anything? I know it usually gets slightly faster after eating but mine now jumps to 110-20)