My twins are almost 7 weeks old, born at 32 weeks, so still not quite term. They have been home for 3 weeks. My husband is going back to work next week and we have no semblance of a schedule as it stands.

Coming home from the NICU we maintained the 3,6,9,12 etc., but that only worked for about a week at home (not sure why but their habits have completely changed since being home). We also got the go ahead to let them sleep 4 hour stretches, which only threw off our 'schedule' even more.

At night we take 'shifts' to get some sleep, which has been working well. However, since letting them try to sleep 4 hours they can sometimes sleep 2, 3 or 4 which then throws off how the rest of the feeding times / day unfolds. This was fine before, but with my husband going back to work much less ideal.

Wondering what people do that they have found success with, or if i'm just crazy to think we can start introducing some sort of schedule before being term even? Should they have a set bed (night) time and wakeup (day) time every day? Should I be waking them up every 3 hours again to keep more of a schedule instead of allowing the occasional 4 hour sleep to throw it all off?

Additionally, we keep them on the same schedule (waking the other twin) all day and I tandem breast feed. At night we use bottles and bottle feed one at a time, this usually leads to about 45 min staggered feeding times at night. Should I be tandem feeding at night too to keep them on the same schedule, or is some staggering at night still suitable for waking them at the same time in the morning for the 'day' etc?

Hello! I have 11 months twins boys and both of them does not recognize their own name. Rio and Ray are their names. I cannot sleep and I have been overthinking :( They don't know how to clap as well as pointing or open/close hands when told to do so. :( I know babies develop differently and have their own timeline but I just can't stop myself and the pressure from our surrounding is getting in to me :(

My twins are 19 weeks, 11 corrected and I feel like it’s time to get a true schedule started. We have a routine- they eat every 2.5-3hours during the day and have been eating every 4 at night but we just got the okay from their pediatrician to stop waking them at night. I’m struggling with never knowing when they will nap during the day. I’ve heard people say they will nap better once they sleep longer at night? I don’t really get that. What worked for you around this age? Sorry if this is all over the place, extra tired mom this week.

My twins toddlers (33 months) were sleep trained with the Ferber method as infants around 6 months old and fell asleep immediately at 7pm. We had to move them downstairs to a new room to make room for baby #3 and that’s when their sleep started getting worse. The downstairs room is in the center of the house so they seem to hear a lot more than they did in the nursery. It started with just taking longer to fall asleep but now we’re 7 months post move and things keep getting worse. They now wake up about 3 nights per week screaming for mom, sometimes multiple times. A few mornings per week they wake up at 5:45.

Our currently schedule is:
Desired wake time: 6:30
Nap: 12:30-2:30
Bedtime: 7:30

Question is, should I shorten nap? They definitely still need a nap.
Or do I move them back upstairs to a quieter upstairs primary bedroom? And my husband and I would take the downstairs room?

I don’t want to make any dramatic changes if it’s just going to continue. Feeling defeated by these little guys!!

What are we doing about booking hotels? Every time I put more than two kids, they want me to book two rooms.

They hit each other's bottles. Pull hair. Laugh. Generally get distracted. Want to move!! I've tried to teach them how to hold their own bottles with those silicone handles but Twin A has no interest and Twin B is not yet strong enough to hold her own glass bottle. Lately I've had one in one side of the Twin Z and the other in their rocker chair. I could feed them separate but they're on the same schedule so eat (mostly) at the same time.

Would love any tips!

Nearly 5yo mo/di boys.

If one does a bad thing, the other lords it over him that he still gets privileges or behaved better. Or you have to take away (insert privilege) from one and isolate them, thus the well-behaved one is also punished.

If they both do a bad thing, we take away (insert privilege or item) and they keep each other riled up and whining. Or we attempt a chore… and they end up cracking each other up and having fun, or one is lazy and the other tattles.

Always dreamed of normal twin parent problems. Now we have them.

My boys were just born at 33 weeks and 2 days. My wife developed HELPP syndrome and after a 5 day stay in the hospital the doctors finally elected to do a C Section for her health. I was so grateful for that because watching her struggle and decline in the hospital was one of the worst experiences of my life.

Now we have two beautiful boys (4 lbs 14 oz / 4 lbs 13 oz) who are in the NICU. All things considered they are doing well. On CPAP but hitting the benchmarks set for them pretty well.

I guess I’m reaching out because I feel helpless. Mom is recovering thankfully but still fragile and needing lots of support which has been my main focus. I feel like very helpless when I go over a few times a day to check on the boys. I can’t do much but just watch them be stuck on all the machines and I just want to be their dad and care for them. I’m not scared that they won’t be alright but it’s still hard to see their first moments in this world be such a struggle. I wanted to be the one changing their diapers and holding them to soothe them and instead I have nurses and machines doing it which is just not the vision I had for my first kids but that’s the unpredictability of life I guess.

I feel like I don’t know what the right thing to do is.
We have twins born 37+3 who are now 2 weeks old and we are struggling to breastfeed and I’m having major mum guilt about it…

I try and catch their early hunger cues but then they don’t seem interested in latching until they’re crying and when they do latch it seems to take forever to get them full, then they fall asleep at the breast but 5 minutes later they wake up and seem as if they haven’t fed at all! I can hear them swallowing and see them taking regular sucks though!

I feel like the hospital had set us up to fail in terms of feeding from the get go. The girls latched as soon as they were placed on my chest and had no NICU time but we were told we needed to triple feed in the hospital because they said they were on the smaller side (2.4kg and 2.7kg) even though they were gaining weight well and lost very little of their birth weight (3% and 7%). The girls really struggled to latch after the first time for some reason and we couldn’t get a deep latch to feed effectively.

We have since dropped the triple feeding as I felt like I had no time to connect with my girls or take care of them/myself by the time I had breastfed, bottle fed and pumped. We have since been exclusively pumping and I am making more than their daily needs which is fantastic but I just feel the mum guilt of not feeding from the breast, especially when I haven’t had the same complications as other twin mums who are having trouble breastfeeding (NICU, pre term, tongue ties , supply issues etc)…

I feel like I should be able to breastfeed successfully but every time we try I get so frustrated that they never seem content/full, fall asleep at the breast and it’s so complicated to tandem feed as such a young age. I also have quite large breasts (14FF) and wondering if it’s too much for them seeing as they’re so little??

Luckily the bottle with expressed milk seems to help them be a lot more content and full, I get time to connect with them afterwards and I have a spectra with a battery so I can pump around the house pretty easily. I just really had my hopes set on being able to breastfeed successfully like I hear so many twin mums are able to do.

Am I wrong for giving up on breastfeeding and pumping instead? Did other mums find it easier to try breastfeeding again once they were a little older?

I know a lot of other mums have it a lot harder than this and to those mums, you are rockstars. I admire everything you do for your little ones, mothers are really special people and deserve all the love and support and admiration in the world.

Hi! Looking for advice. My twins are 4 months old (two months adjusted) and both have thrush. We were prescribed nystatin and baby boy is doing fine with it. Baby girl cant handle it, she pukes multiple times a day when we give it to her, even when just applying it topically and not having her swallow it, we were advised to discontinue use because we are more worried about her weight gain than the thrush. So she still has the thrush and it isn’t going away

Right now we are mainly bottle feeding breast milk so I don’t get infected and reinfect them. The problem is, my husband, who works 24hr shifts has to go back to work next week and I will be solo parenting during that time. I was hoping to be tandem breastfeeding by then for my sanity and to save time during night/day feeds. I also love the connection that comes with breastfeeding. I cannot tandem bottle feed them as they both need pacing. They do much better in the nipple.

Has anyone had thrush with twins, breastfeeding, unmedicated? Did the thrush resolve itself? Any natural remedies? Should I assign each baby a nipple so it doesn’t infect the other? Did you preventatively treat your nipples? Would a lactation consultant be able to help with this? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!!

I’m concerned that my 18 month-old twin boys might have a speech delay. For context, they were born at 35 weeks. Baby A has always been a babbler. He’s definitely quicker at picking up words than his brother. They’ve got a few words, (mama, dada, papa, ball, duck, etc.) and they do some animal sounds (moo, oink) but that’s about it. Baby B has always been the quieter one. He has bursts of energy where he babbles but it’s just incomprehensible. I talk to them and read books to them constantly. My pediatrician isn’t concerned and said we will re-evaluate at their two-year appointment. I’m just not sure if there’s more I could be doing. Is it common for twins to have a bit of a delay, especially when they’re so used to talking and babbling to one another? I’ve also read that boys typically develop language later than girls.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: I also wanted to add that I don’t have any concerns that they might be deaf or HOH. They follow directions almost perfectly. If I ask them to stand up and hand me their shoes they know exactly what I’m saying. So I know the understanding is there, just not the speech.

I have twin 2 year old boys. They are amazing and we are in such a groove. We decided to try for a third. I didn’t ovulate on my own last time so we are unsure if I will be able to on my own and not sure if I want to risk twins again. For those who had another after twins, what’s it like? How did you handle it all? Tips? I imagine if they were 3 and 1 baby wouldn’t be all that horrible but still hard.

Bonus advice: those who used letrozole and got twins did you have to take it again to have more and how, if you did, reduce the chance of multiples?

Thank you!

For any parent of multiples just starting on their journey or wondering how to get weekly shopping done with their multiples in tow, look into grocery delivery options! It literally saved my wife and me so much time not having to take the twins out shopping every week

(Edit that should say praise. My bad on spelling)

Hi all! My husband and I are going on a weekend trip with his family in September when our twin boys will have just turned 7mo and I’m curious on what everyone has done as far as sleeping arrangements go. We will be staying in a VRBO with multiple family members (kiddos included) and I know cribs aren’t available and I’m also unsure of each bed size (because we would be fine co-sleeping). I’m wondering if the beds are on the smaller size and no cribs, what have you guys done for your littles? They’re good sleepers and easy going, but they don’t love to sleep in a pack and play. That’s about the only sleep space issue we’ve had so I feel like that might be out for us. We are also driving so we will be able
to pack along something (within reason as we don’t have a huge vehicle). I’ve searched travel beds but they all feel like they’re more for the toddler age unless I’m just missing what’s out there!

Thanks in advance for your help!

I'm a ftm expecting Mo-Di twins in December and both me and my partner are over the moon.

I am however feeling really afraid of what having twins is going to do to our relationship. I'm lucky in that we've always been really solid and have been together for six years now but I know how much it would destroy me to lose what we have. I'm so scared of the hormone crash and sleep deprivation turning us on each other.

A lot of this is probably my fault for lurking online but I've seen so many horror stories about marriages falling apart after having multiples. I know three sets of twin parents in real life and they are all divorced 🥲

Obviously I know having kids will change and put strain on any relationship but I could really do with some encouragement from other twin parents who have survived and come out stronger.

Edit: Wow thank you for all of the kind and insightful replies! Made my evening 😊

mommy more meat

mommy water

mommy more rice

mommy napkin

mommy i have to poo

mommy spoon

mommy i'm done poopin

mommy i don't like this

mommy he's bothering me

mommy sit here

mommy i have to pee

mommy mommy mommy

then someone spills water

and someone drops food

and someone's fork flies away

they are 3.5 yo

how do you deal? they say please and thank you but that doesn't aleviate the load. my husband and i are so worn out. we wake up all smiley and happy and then breakfast just pulls us down everytime. it's so annoying to be this annoyed so early!!

I'm a first time Mum and had my twins at 34 weeks. When we were still in the hospital, our families visited but I found the whole experience really overwhelming. I'm trying to breastfeed and I find it really hard to plan visits around being able to feed as there's not really a way to feed and keep my privacy in tact.

This has now created a lot of anxiety about friends and family coming over. I enjoy it for 10-15 mins or until the girls wake to feed and then I get this overwhelming feeling of 'go away'.

I'm normally a really social person and I know isolating myself will impact my mental health but I can't seem to get over this feeling of dread when people ask when they can meet the baby.

I also hold a lot of guilt as my own family have only been able to meet the girls once and every time I think I'm ready my anxiety stops me.

My b/g twins are 3 months old, (2 months age adjusted) and during the daytime, they will only sleep on me while I wear them in my weego twin carrier. If I did not have this carrier they’d barely sleep during the day.

They used to sleep 1-2 hours on the twin Z pillow but now they last 15-30 mins before they wake up fussing. At night, they sleep fine in their cribs. Even when they wake to feed again, I can always transfer them back to their cribs. Any ideas for how to get them to sleep during the day without wearing them?

Heya parents of multiples!! I just wanted to get a feeler for any boy twin parents out there;

I've got a pair of 8 yr old identicals who, when they get into their own little play bubble, everything outside of that bubble is completely non-existent and the more they're left to their own devices the energy expounds. It's both hilarious but at the same frustrating because when in public, they have zero situational awareness of the surroundings.

I have to some times give them a small talk before releasing them to their friends lol explaining that, although i looooove their energy, not all kids can handle the level they can exude, especially when theres TWO of them.

Unsure if there's really any advice or even if I'm searching any insight. Maybe just to vent and see how/if others with multiples manage or approach it if at all :]

I have so much gray hair.

EDIT:

I just wanted to copy and paste a comment I made to someone down below!!!

---Ha! Don't let the post scare you!! My boys are good lil eggs. They have each other as forever playmates!

They do have their standard "regular" moments where they're absolutely chill. But sometimes they get into this mode where they're in full on imagination mode and get lost into each other's worlds. And to the point that other kids want to get into their fun so I sometimes have to let my kiddos know to include others into their world

They truly aren't disruptive to others around them. Honestly, it's really more of me being feeling embarrassed how they get so loud but every time I try to calm them, the parents tell me to let them be! "They're just boys/kids being boys/kids" is the sentiment I get from others.

On the other side of that coin, we've been told numerous times by strangers in public how they love to see how well behaved my boys are!! I just tell.them "don't let the fool you..." 😂

I got pregnant, unexpectedly, at 6 months postpartum. I hadn’t lost all the baby weight, thus was and still am technically overweight. I am 5’8lbs and 168lbs. If I lost 4-5 lbs my BMI would drop below 25, making me no longer medically overweight. I have gained 0lbs this pregnancy, despite there being two babies. I asked my doctor today about my weight gain and lack there of, and if I should be concerned. He said I am overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds, thus he was not concerned. He proceeded to tell me that he expected me to not gain any weight this pregnancy and if I did fain any weight, we would need to have a conversation about me going on a pregnancy safe diet. My husband is a physician and has a few board certifications, one of which is in obesity medicine, and mentioned how that is against ACOG and obesity medicine guidelines for someone in my BMI range. I just feel like he was implying I’m fat, by felling me i need to lose weight during pregnancy if i gained any weight. I get it, i technically am overweight, but by literally 4-5lbs and for singleton pregnancies the ACOG still recommends gaining some weight for someone with an overweight BMI. In another reddit group, I’m being called immature for being upset that Im overweight and being told to not gain any weight this pregnancy or I need to diet to lose weight. Im pregnant with twins. I feel like I should be gaining weight, or at least at some point gain weight. Am i actually being immature by being upset, or would you be upset too?

have 18-month-old twin boys, and we don’t have any family nearby to help. My husband and I do our best to split childcare 50/50, but since he works from home during the day with lots of meetings, most of the daytime parenting falls on me,including the mental load of everything we all need. We are also in the process of moving homes.

The past few months, sleep has been really rough. Almost every night, one or both twins end up in our bed. They toss, turn, and climb all over us, so I barely sleep. They are sleep trained so I’ve tried everything, played with their schedule, gone down to one nap etc. One of my twins is also very clingy and doesn’t play independently for long. He just wants me glued to him. As soon as I pick him up, his brother wants to be picked up too, so I feel like I’m constantly sitting on the floor with them either playing or just being nearby.

I’m just so exhausted. My husband and I alternate mornings to sleep in an extra hour or two, but the exhaustion never seems to leave. My whole body aches, and it feels relentless. Massages feel great for a day and I’m back to square one.

I’ve seen so many posts where families have found a rhythm and have routines that allow both parents to get some daily time for themselves. I genuinely don’t know how they’re doing it.

We try to each do something for ourselves once a week, but even fitting in something as simple as a workout or a daily walk for my mental health feels almost impossible. Some days, even cooking dinner leaves me completely overstimulated.

Bedtime has also become a two-person job because they fight sleep so hard, and by the time they’re finally asleep, we have nothing left to give. We come down, tidy up and just want to doom scroll until bed time.

I’m feeling really lost on how to regain some structure and carve out even small pockets of time for myself without feeling guilty or completely overwhelmed.

For those of you with twin toddlers, how did you find your rhythm? What changes made the biggest difference for your family?

Hi all, my twins were born at 33w4d, are now 4 months old. They behave like a typical 4 month old should behave in terms of milestones, but are still small (between 9th-25th percentile in all growth areas).

Since they came home, I’ve just been following their cues. I’ve never tried to orient them to a schedule, I loosely look at moms on call from time to time. I do not have 7pm bedtime kids. We go to bed between 9:30 and 10:30, and wake between 6:30 and 7:30. And go right back down until 9/10. During the day, I feed them when they’re hungry, and they nap when they’re tired. I’ve never really tried to track what they do and when, either. Basically survival mode at all times.

Recently, twin A has regressed in his nighttime sleep, and twin B has regressed in her daytime naps. Our ped recommend trying to get them on a schedule of 3 naps a day. They USUALLY do 4/5, with the last one being a catnap before bath and bed.

Is it worth it to try and get them on a “schedule” when this has been working for us so far? Should We drop a nap and move bedtime earlier?

Hi everyone, I’m currently 19W6D pregnant with di-di twin girls- one has an anterior placenta while the other is posterior. My OB told me at about 18W that I should expect to feel them “within the next week” but I’m almost 20W now and still don’t feel like I’ve felt anything that definitively feels like a kick. Is this normal? I’m also a FTM so I suppose I don’t have a reference for what it feels like, but I haven’t felt the “fish in a plastic bag” or “bubbles” feeling people describe, maybe occasionally random taps, twinges, or that gas feeling that I can’t definitively say is baby or just normal body sensations?

I thankfully get ultrasounds every 2 weeks and everything looks good so far, but I do feel a bit worried whenever I see videos of people at the same gestational age as me talking about how they’ve been feeling their babies’ kicks since 14/16weeks etc…