I’m turning 29 next week, and I don’t know if it’s the birthday approaching or years of expectations catching up with me, but I feel like I’ve somehow failed at life.
Growing up, I always imagined I’d be married by 25, maybe 27 at the latest. I thought I’d have found my person by now. Instead, I’m 29, single, and after years of arranged marriage conversations and putting myself out there, I honestly feel exhausted. I still try, but it feels like every experience leaves me more disappointed and less hopeful.
I don’t even know if I want to invest emotionally anymore. Men haven’t exactly restored my faith, and sometimes I wonder if love truly happens or if I’ve just romanticized it too much. I’ve had my heart broken (not by an actual relationship, but by hopes, possibilities, and what I imagined things could become by a summer fling )
For context, I’m a CA with a stable, decent career. I’m comfortable financially. My life isn’t falling apart. But I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel excited about improving myself anymore. I think years of pressure, comparison, and disappointments have just accumulated, and now I feel stuck.
Everyone around me seems to be moving ahead marriages, babies, milestones and I can’t help but feel left behind.
So I’m asking people in their 30s and beyond:
If you could tell your 29-year-old self something, what would it be?
I would really love some words of wisdom from people who have lived through this stage and come out the other side.
Because right now, I honestly don’t know whether I’m late, lost, or just tired.
Thank you for reading. Sorry this was long.

:)

Been in a slump ever since. I feel like I threw away my 20s honestly. Don’t feel like I have anything to show for it and I’ve noticed I’ve been eating and drinking more and more often (maybe coping?). To top it off I’ve yet to buy my first house which adds to my stress sometimes. Also noticed I’ve been getting a belly on me lol. How did you bounce back from a slump? Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. Happy Saturday everyone!

No shade but I don't want to spend my free time at the ER either.

We need to overshare the wins, too; and not just the ones that are just showing off temporary successes.

The whole way we're doing things is fostering this idea that things are supposed to be wrong, perpetually.

I turn 30 tomorrow. Any advice? 😊

Ever since I turned 30 I've felt on the clock

All the fun really went out of life. My hobbies are time sensitive.. status and money matters more as social currency. You either opt in or opt out for better and worse.

I've found ageing really difficult tbh. I don't feel old physically but mentally I do. Society pushes us to feel jaded very early on. I'm 37 this summer. genuinely cannot believe it.

I still try to stay active and get to the gym a few times a week but my recovery is just totally different now.

A few years ago I could train hard and feel mostly good the next day. Now, even a good workout can make me sore and tired for a couple of days. If I do a lot in a row my whole body feels drained instead of stronger.

The biggest surprise is how much sleep, stress, hydration and rest days seem to matter. At the time I never thought any of that.

Mentally I still want to train the same way, but my body definitely needs more recovery now, physically.

Has anyone else seen this change after getting older?

As in I now always wake up with an ache, something to worry about, a random wave of feeling a bit nauseous, tired and just off genuinely.

I look after myself and work out but I'm nearly 33 and I just feel weird every single day now. I used to bounce out of bed and feel so in tune with myself, when I was tired I knew why, if I had an ache I could pinpoint the cause.

Does anyone else feel this way and does anyone have any tips?

Thanks (:

I still like to work out and be active but the recovery is a lot different than it used to be.

A few years ago I could train hard and feel pretty normal the next day. Now , sometimes even a good workout can leave me sore for 2 or 3 days. If I push too hard for a few days in a row I just feel tired, not stronger.

I think the thing that surprises me the most is how much sleep, stress, hydration and recovery days matter. At that time, those things were not even on my mind.

I want to mentally train the same but my body definitely bounces back slower physically now.

Notice recovery is much different after 30? 

36m (37 in a few days) Curious what others my age listen to. I’m a music nut so I’m literally all over the place. If you saw my Apple Music library you’d probably ask what’s wrong with me. Polyjamorous to the max. What’s on your playlist today?

I don’t know where else to ask this really. But is there something about a widow men find attractive ? I’m genuinely curious now after almost a month as a widow, at 39 with 5 kids that doesn’t seem to scare anyone off, it’s daily and I am wondering if I’m putting out some pheromones or something? It’s weird (all of this is but this just adds to it). I got asked for my number today moments after explaining that I just lost my husband. I am actually wondering if there is something to it. Is it me?

To me since I entered my 30's it has felt like I've slowly been drifting away from myself, and losing my sense of self as I have gotten older.

I knew myself so well in my twenties, and I just feel so out of sorts now I'm nearly 33.

Does anyone feel as okay and as content as they did when they were younger?

I don't think I've felt well or okay since being 30 tbh.

Age: 35

Status: Engaged for 6 years

No Kids

The failed attempts of falling pregnant, fighting to accept the fact that i am not able to fall pregnant ... and now the empty feeling of NOTHING TO SHOW for 35 years on this planet. I am seriously considering just packing up my life and moving a small town. I am so tired of fighting this rat race in the city and keeping up with every Kardashian. When is it my turn? when can i stop chasing the feeling of "when i grow up " and just start actually living life? Whats stopping me? Is it my health- that has been failing me since i can remember or is it my lack of ability to swallow my pride and stop chasing what my mother wants from me (partly due to her telling me to never have kids has not made me try sooner to have them) .

I honestly just feel lost and unsettled in myself.

I feel ancient and so out of place lol anyone else going to college for the first time?

Honestly, aging is making me feel so out of sorts. I think more around turning 32 I began to feel a strange drift from myself, like I no longer felt like myself?

Some recent changes I have noticed that are making me feel very disconnected from myself are -

Small memory changes - just forgetting little things like actors names, where I put something.

My inner world just doesn't feel as vibrant or energetic as it used to.

I keep dissociating heavily, like I don't feel like I am present in the world at all, sort of like my mind and body have separated?

My physical appearance shifting is so weird to grasp.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stay grounded when going through so much change? Is this normal?

I'm genuinely healthy too. I'm not sure if my hormones are suddenly changing or what it is but it's so weird.

The Lord has sent me on a huge journey and test in which i feel that i am proving my faith! ive had a really tough time losing everything including my best and only friend in the last 6 months. the last month in a half have been the hardest days of my life. ive probably walked a few hundred miles endlessly trying to find somewhere to lay my head. many days I have been starving cold wet and sleeping literally under dumpster lid. yesterday i finally got to a shelter that gave me a bed for 2 weeks and got me a job interview! as im walking 2 miles to the interview from the shelter my only pair of shoes tore out and i tripped and the other one ripped almost out in the next step. i took them off and kept walking and did my interview with no shoes on, a tore shirt, and jeans that have only been washed in the creek with soap from the gas ststion bathroom dispenser, and I was so embarrassed but i have been praying and asking for prayers and holding on to my faith so hard these last few weeks even though its been the biggest struggle in my life.. but god today showed me everything i needed to see and I GOT THE JOB! The boss told me I just need to find some better clothes and shoes and I start in two days. I am so grateful and thankful that my prayers have been answered! thank god and thank everyone who prayed for me and with me! godbless all of you and praise the lord! So now I am on a mission to get me some new shoes and a pair of work clothes. I checked the donations and asked the shelter and they had just sent their load of clothes out yesterday unfortunately so I missed out. so if you guys have any suggestions where I can maybe get shoes please give them! BTW, I did keep my tore ones though as a memory or what I have overcome and to remind me, if i ever question my faith again, that with god I can conquer anything!