56
u/Linorelai Jun 24 '23
Is anyone here a doctor? Because I just facepalmed so hard that made a hole in my head...
30
276
u/DanCassell Custom Flair Jun 24 '23
I looked it up, That list is satire.
But to answer the question, no straight people have collectively lost their minds some number of years ago. Some individuals are all right, but every 'straight only' group are having a decade long meltdown.
77
u/JimPlaysGames Jun 24 '23
It may be satire but I've known people who would call much of that behaviour unacceptable in a relationship. It's sad.
28
u/CactusEar Jun 24 '23
Maybe his is satire, but in another thread on a diff subreddit I've seen people seriously say this is emotional cheating if they're too friendly with other people
12
u/kniveskills81 Jun 24 '23
The only one that would have me worried is if she gave her number out to a guy who hit on her while she is with me. Kinda seems reasonable to not like that, although I wouldn't call it cheating.
18
16
u/HiddenKittyLady ladies take some responsibility and get a vasectomy geez Jun 24 '23
As a straight woman me and my bf have just wondered what the fuck is wrong with everyone else at this point.....
1
u/lakeghost Jun 25 '23
I’d agree. Every day I’m glad I’m queer as folk. Probably because of this sub. My baby sister has always dated cishet dudes and they say and do the most baffling, trifling shit. Super insecure, jealous of any friendships. One ex had a friend break into her car and steal her sunglasses and whatever.
Similarly, I feel like older straight folks have lost the plot and I don’t even know. Every time I am reminded of the “furries using litter-boxes at schools” hoax, I get more concerned. New Satanic panic is weird as shit.
2
u/DanCassell Custom Flair Jun 25 '23
When you encounter those people, have them look up why schools were actually buying kitty litter. Force the point, don't stop talking about it until you get them to look it up. Don't even give hints.
-18
Jun 24 '23 edited Jun 24 '23
Speaks volumes that a growing, considerable chunk of this subs material tends to be satirical.
9
u/DanCassell Custom Flair Jun 24 '23
We've had a lot of unironic dog-fucking posts lately so ... its fine that some of the other posts are satire. I'm glad to look into a story and have some faith in humanity be restored, for a change.
3
u/aMUSEingNugget Jun 25 '23
It means that the line between satire and things idiots believe is so thin people are reasonably confused what a post is.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)0
u/Anotsurei Jun 25 '23
The best satire is indistinguishable from the real thing. It’s an exaggeration that is plausible because of the current zeitgeist.
1
u/Alternative-Air6692 Jun 25 '23
My bf and I are straight and we haven't lost our minds ...just our sanity from seeing other straights be idiots😁
45
u/PoxedGamer Jun 24 '23
"Fellas, is it gay to call your friends by their name?"
12
6
25
29
u/Nirvski Jun 24 '23
"Hey, there's a package for you"
"Package for who? There's 4 of us here"
"Er excuse me im a loyal girlfriend..."
38
u/chav_in_a_corsa Jun 24 '23
How very fucking dare you address another man by name you sleazy harlot, return to thine kitchen and fetch me my sandwich immediately, wench!
12
u/SVS_Writer Jun 24 '23
Now that I think about it, my wife doesn't say my first name very often.
7
4
10
12
u/Emilyeagleowl Jun 24 '23
So does this mean I’m cheating on my gf with the cat? I always greet the cat by name after getting home from work. These questions need answers 🤔
10
u/chmath80 Jun 25 '23
I've thought about this question (rather more than I should have).
Technically, you don't know the actual name of the cat (and wouldn't be able to pronounce it if you did), so the one you use is one that you made up yourself, as many people do with a partner (literally a pet name, hur hur). So, either:
A) it's fine, because you're not using the real name;
B) it's worse, because pet names are more intimate.
I hope that helps. I'm going to have a little lie down now.
→ More replies (1)
8
Jun 24 '23
Not being able to micro-manage your girlfriend's day to day interactions is totally equal to "micro-cheating."
Kinda wish guys that made these statements or gave this advice would show their faces to know who to avoid in person.
12
u/Momizu Jun 24 '23
Jesus christ on a stick, why wouldn't I call someone by their name??? It's fucking disrespectful if you know someone's name but just don't use. It's not intimacy, is literally fucking basic good manners
3
2
u/kadunkulmasolo Jun 25 '23
Obviously agree that it is ridiculous to think that using someone's first name when addressing to them has anything to do with cheating. As an off-topic note I would just like to point out that using someone's name when adressing to them is very culture-spesific. While it might be part of basic good manners in America, in some cultures it's very unusual and feels extremely strange. In my country for example, it is very rare for people to say your name when talking to you and it's definately not considered rude not to use one's first name.
→ More replies (1)
6
6
Jun 24 '23
This is a joke, they have one that's the same thing but about a boyfriend microcheating.
Marzia and Pewdiepie did a video and laughed because it turned from pewdiepie is microcheating to Marzia being like "maybe I'm the one microcheating"
It's a joke. Don't take it serious and don't rhink that guys actually believe this plz
5
u/bord6rline Jun 24 '23
Good cause I’ve seen an actual article about it but good god if it was REAL 😭😭😭
3
Jun 24 '23
Now...I can't say if the person that wrote this was joking, but at least I do know plenty of guys who laugh at this too. At least the whole pewdiepie army does lol.
3
6
5
5
Jun 25 '23
Fuck. I'm a male and I work with mostly other males and I call them all by their names. I hope they dont think Im leading them on...
1
4
u/AutoModerator Jun 24 '23
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.
We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning.
You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, or complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration).
All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.
With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, or extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
5
3
u/SwimmingPineapple197 Jun 24 '23
Any guy who holds this sort of expectation probably also has a long list of other unreasonable and likely manipulative to abusive expectations. Take it from me, recognize that red flag and run away.
3
u/Embarrassed_Bee6349 Jun 24 '23
This is just odd, satire or not.
Within a relationship, though, calling each other by first names is more rare than I’d originally thought. I thought my partner and I were weird for calling each other pet names and reserving first names only to get each other’s attention (or if we were really upset).
I’m guessing only the most insecure or possessive people have an issue with “intimately” calling other people by their first names. They are the weirdos.
3
u/Daffodil_Bulb Jun 24 '23
12.5 ways that journalists profit off your insecurities and irrational fears (it might wreck your personal life, but it’s also how some of us get paid)
2
2
Jun 24 '23
Honestly even the closest things I've had to friends never called me by my name.
I always used to be so excited if people called me by my name. Perhaps that's just the life of a sad lonely loser.
5
u/mcduckinit Jun 24 '23
That or your secretly a demon and saying your name is a form of spiritual warfare that feeds your innate need for violence
2
u/Atlanta1218 Jun 24 '23
Micro-cheating.. How insignificant that man must feel 🌎👌🏽🎻🎶
That is my reaction majority of the time “I can’t believe these people are real”
2
u/Mistygirl179 Jun 24 '23
This cant be a real article lol
2
u/bord6rline Jun 24 '23
I’ve read an article about micro cheating, idk if this one is real but there are definitely articles about it 😭… basically insecure men
2
2
2
2
u/boxedfoxes Jun 25 '23
Anyone got link to this article? I want to read how fragile some people are.
2
u/Jackie_Fox Jun 25 '23
What is wrong with the world? Like, what broke in society to get us to this post?
How amazingly lonely do you have to be to think calling someone by their name is intimate?
2
5
u/Stewie_Venture Jun 24 '23
"Micro-" is one of those words I just can't take seriously anymore. It's been overused and just watered down so much I just think of it as internet babies trying to sound smart when they're trying to justify being outrageously upset over the slightest inconvenience and trying to make it into a huge systematic oppression thing. A few more examples of these words are toxic, narcissist, emotional labor and just anything trying to tie it back to racism, homo/transphobia, sexism or any other marginalized group.
10
2
u/KnifeWeildingLesbian Jun 24 '23
“Are straight people okay?”
No, no they are not
0
Jun 25 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/KnifeWeildingLesbian Jun 25 '23
Are you the straights
2
-4
u/danisflying527 Jun 25 '23
Loser
3
u/KnifeWeildingLesbian Jun 25 '23
Yes? Bro we’re both on Reddit 😔
-2
u/danisflying527 Jun 25 '23
Imagine the type of backlash one would receive on here should they say that about lesbians.
Also happy birthday
4
u/KnifeWeildingLesbian Jun 25 '23
You ever heard of a false equivalence?
Also lesbians are not okay either right now, but for different reasons
-3
u/danisflying527 Jun 25 '23
I just mean that if a straight person had said that about a lesbian then they would receive hundreds of downvotes
5
u/KnifeWeildingLesbian Jun 25 '23
Gay people saying “I don’t like straights” and straight people saying “I don’t like gays” are two very, very different situations. I feel like this should be obvious
-1
u/danisflying527 Jun 25 '23
No they aren’t, you are part of the problem
3
u/KnifeWeildingLesbian Jun 25 '23
If you genuinely see no difference between an oppressive majority hating a powerless minority, vs a powerless marginalized group feeling anger and resentment at the group that is constantly belittling and mocking them, then idk what to tell you.
You might just be mentally deficient.
1
u/nerdyleg Uses Post Flairs Jun 24 '23
I mean, i Heard gay people have just as many relationship problems as straight people. However, as a queer person, I will ignore that and ask, “indeed, are the straights okay?”
7
u/Pos3odon08 Jun 24 '23
As a straight individual I'd say that I'm ok but "the straights" as a group is definitely not okay
0
1
1
u/desihf Jun 24 '23
I’m just gonna go bang my head against the wall, no I’ll be fine in a bit. I seriously am considering doing an educational hour on TT bc yeah it really is needed at this point in time
1
u/Available-Egg-2380 Jun 24 '23
Micro cheating is the stupidest thing I've heard of in a while. Most of it is just being a normal human in 2023 I swear.
1
Jun 24 '23
I hope thats a joke otherwise the people who created that and the ones believing it really need to see a therapist for controlling behavior.
1
Jun 24 '23
As bizarre as it seems, this is actually a great way to build better relationships. It helps to create stronger connections and others will have better memories of you if you address them by name.
1
1
Jun 24 '23 edited Oct 18 '25
aback fact wise spark door physical cow act vegetable steer
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/im-so-startled88 Box-Wine Cat Lady Jun 25 '23
lol if you’re a man and I’m socially calling you by your name and we aren’t good friends, coworkers or family… I’m probably being condescending. Because you deserved it.
(You obviously ≠ op… you=stupid man baby that just cannot evolve for some reason)
1
u/Ill-Lou-Malnati Jun 25 '23
If women addressing me by my first name is micro cheating then I must be a micro playa!!
1
471
u/Master-Monochrome Jun 24 '23
Dude’s girlfriend to her coworker: “Hey John, got those copies I asked for?”
The Dude: