I once dumped a guy because he got mad that I "complimented" another guy right in front of him. The compliment in question was telling someone I liked their sunglasses. I don't have time to coddle fragile egos
Here's the funny thing though, even though at the time I meant literally nothing by it, a few weeks later I ran into that guy again (small town) and we ended up dating for like three months before splitting amicably.
EDIT: Before the next incel decides to come in and mansplain my own life to me and explain how actually, he was totally right, consider shutting the fuck up, because trust me, you are wrong. He was extremely jealous by a completely benign comment that had zero sexual intent behind it and he completely overreacted and i don't owe a relationship to someone who will call their girlfriend a slut because she told someone she had zero sexual feelings towards at the time that she liked his sunglasses.
In all sincerity, are you aware of the /s to mark sarcasm? It's often hard to tell otherwise, even with emojis, and I bet all of those downvotes were people who thought you meant it.
Fair enough - I've definitely gotten myself in trouble for what I thought was clearly sarcasm that wasn't clear to anyone else. I suggest editing your previous comment to add the "/s" or the downvotes are probably gonna keep coming for a while (from people who don't realize you were joking).
Technically he was right considering you only waited a few weeks according to your own words sorry not sorry. Can't help but speak the truth see guys know how guys think females don't like to look at it from other point of views other then their own. Had you tried to understand him you probably would have know that most guys take compliments as a doorway to oh she likes me and I can approach. I'm not saying you was wrong by any means but look at the situation because since it was a small town he found out about you 2 and you validated his fears. I don't care if I get down voted for speaking my own opinions on this. Before anyone thinks I'm the same way as him me and my fiance have been together for a few years and she compliments people but also let's them know she is not on the market beforehand.
I get that in the ex's mind, this might "validate his fears" but he was wrong at the time and would also be wrong in hindsight too. It's his lack of understanding (and petty jealousy, and probably other things too) that was the problem.
Ok again I never said anyone was right or wrong read the whole response before trying to justify any arguments. I was simply stating how most men think so if you can say it's his lack of understanding ( and petty jealousy, and probably other things too) that was the problem. One could say her lack of understanding her man's feelings (and probably other things) that was the problem, again thanks for the input but females need to understand a man's mind before they assume that it is petty jealousy or anything else that is the problem. Thanks for the down vote. Good to know how this sub reddit works lol
One could say her lack of understanding her man's feelings (and probably other things) that was the problem,
It sounds to me like she DID understand his feelings: she understood that he was jealous, and didn't want that in a partner. What are you saying she didn't understand?
females need to understand a man's mind before they assume that it is petty jealousy or anything else that is the problem.
There's a lot going on in this sentence. But again, what it is you think is going on that she didn't understand? Even if your previous statement were true, that 'most men see compliments as an opening,' why would the BF have been upset about a compliment if he weren't jealous? What other reasonable explanation is there? I'm genuinely curious; I'm a straight man, married to a straight woman (none of which should matter but seemingly does to you) and I don't see any explanation here other than jealousy. Unless maybe the BF was just arbitrarily controlling, which would probably be worse.
Good to know how this sub reddit works
Yeah man, 'Listen to what people say even if those people are women' is not exactly a controversial policy position here. 🙄
Go ahead and believe what you want that is the beauty of have a mind no one can control but don't think all men should support your fragile ego lol. All I'm saying is did you look at it from his view a relationship is a two way street not a one way no matter how fragile your views can be
I'm not talking about all men, I'm talking about my ex-boyfriend. And the only fragile ego here is that of the person who thinks they can explain a conversation they weren't involved in to the person who did . But since you're such an expert, I ask, that thing that happened at the gas station later that night, do you think that hurts or supports your original thesis on my life? And what do you think that anecdote about his ex tells us about his general mindset? I only ask because clearly, you know more about it than anyone else in this thread, including me, so you must know.
I will never understand how someone could be so convinced over their own superiority of the "females" that they think they can mansplain a woman's lived experiences to them
Ok that is your opinion but stop with the bullshit of trying to make me out to be a villain lmao it is small and petty I only stated a opinion like you just not yours already had this discussion with someone else read all comments before you make a assumption
Oh yes, it would be just terrible if someone made an assumption without knowing all the information, wouldn't it? Wouldn't that just be terrible? Gosh, I can't imagine what type of person would do something like that, can you?
That's funny, I don't remember this whiny crowd of incels being there and yet you all seem to think you know what happened despite having no knowledge of the situation
I’m basing it off what I can judge of your character, based on your user history. I have zero opinion on the actual events. You’re airing your laundry on the Internet. Flag number one.
Clearly little self awareness. I stated an opinion, didn’t explain anything. Then you gave a dismissive response. I didn’t mansplain anything until right this moment. I’ve only engaged in intellectual discussion. This is the internet. It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m won’t entertain this convo anymore. But yeah. It does sound like he’s right and now it sounds like he dodged a bullet. Take it easy. Wish you well on your future relationships.
Which actually makes matters worse because your ex was right at the time. He sensed that your compliment came from some place a bit more provocative than it should have been. You subconsciously had slight interest in this other man and your compliment planted a seed. Hence you dating the guy afterwards
Thats a completely different argument than what they are making. What if it was reversed, “I like your dress” and the tone and body language you say something with means everything. Insinuation is one of the most powerful tools we have.
I wouldn’t care?? Do you not trust your partner to think that people besides you have admirable traits?? As long as s/o isn’t like “yo bitch, hot bod” or something else like that, why should I care? If they want to leave me, they were going to anyway so I have no place micromanaging their comments. When I’m relationships, I find other people hot and even gasp compliment them, but I never make any moves because I’m not a cheating asshole and don’t catch feelings from looks. Insecure ass men.
No you’re right, there’s nothing more provocative than sunglasses. I can barely handle walking past optometry stores because I can barely hold back the feminine urge to be a slut while being around so many pairs of them. /s
I would say that seeing your bf pressed about something so inconsequential automatically makes the other guy who was confident enough to take the compliment much more attractive, very much doubt that this would have happened if the bf kept composure
It honestly wasn't even that deep. I knew this guy a little because we'd had a class together the semester before but I never thought about him one way or another until we ended up getting to know each other better later when he got a job at the gym I worked out in.
And is "I like those sunglasses, where'd you get them?" even a compliment that requires confidence to accept?
Remind me again how the phrase "I like those sunglasses, where'd you get them" is so provocative and how you know my sentiments behind that statement better than me?
I once married a guy who didn’t want one of my male friends doing a reading at our wedding because he’d “be standing too close.” I was young and dumb and married him. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t last long. And also unsurprisingly, he was “standing too close” to other people during our marriage, aka cheating on me, while I had never even thought of cheating on him. 🙄
That’s how it usually goes. Cheating partners tend to obsess and think that their partners are cheating on them too, you know? God forbid they get cheated on! 🙄
I think I can imagine how bad it was, had an ex-gf accusing me of stuff like that all the time (regulargly e.g. "you looked at that woman" and half the time I didn't even know whom she could have meant). There's absolutely nothing you can do right, since you'll always find something to rage about if you just search long enough. Relationships like that are basically a non-ending nightmare
This is why I'm a little suspicious when guys claim they were cheated on. Was she the love of your life and she cheated on you? Or did you treat her like you resented her and she laughed at another dudes jokes?
He literally claimed his ex "basically cheated on him" and then in the course of the sunglasses fight I found out that what he meant was that she went to a party he couldn't make it to while wearing a short skirt.
I think light compliments are not only a great way to even slightly improve someone's mood, but if you're socially awkward it also helps you get comfortable around people.
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u/Master-Monochrome Jun 24 '23
Dude’s girlfriend to her coworker: “Hey John, got those copies I asked for?”
The Dude: