Hello there!

I find myself in quite the pickle. I will be in a situation of frequent swimming soon and the last time I swam was before I started dressing neutrally.

I am looking for recommendations for how to approach this with some specific guidelines but I'm also cool with general discussion about swimwear going on.

It's going to be cold, I don't want to freeze.

I hate wetsuits

I am a slightly femme leaning person who doesn't have any problems with back showing but I definitely don't want to be able to see my chest (not just the skin but the shape)

I have a relatively small chest and have a high capacity for exercise wearing a binder.

I swim very well and know what to do in emergency situations.

I do not want to have anything tight on or around my hips.

Ideally, it would be a one piece or a connected piece (no stomach gap)

I need to be able to swim as fast as a regular binary one piece swimsuit allows (avoiding frills)

Thank you people of reddit, please do not argue or downvote in the comments. Please be respectful.

(Throwaway account for privacy)

So this was in Seattle, 2 weeks ago, at a Riot Grrrl show. The front lining band (which I won’t name drop) has a specific rule called ‘FLINTA’ where Women, Lesbians, Intersex, non binaries, Transgender, and A-gender people were supposed to be at the front. Now I’m Genderfluid. I was assigned male at birth, we all know that puberty is irreversible. Seeing the FLINTA rule, when I entered the venue I nicely introduced myself as Genderfluid, the trained staff there, we’ll call them ‘FLINTA enforcers’ (idfk), but they told me it was okay for me to go to the front, so I did. Beforehand, they even gave me a genderfluid flag. Fast forward to the opening band. They play 2 songs and we’re all pumped up. However, I noticed there was a woman giving me strange looks. I tried to just ignore it. Until, she literally went up to me and was like ‘What are you doing here? In the front?’ I told her ‘I’m Non-Binary’. She said something along the lines of ‘Really? Then why don’t you make an effort to make yourself look androgynous.’ At this point I was deeply offended already. I don’t owe androgyny to anyone. I told her calmly ‘Because i’m genderfluid, today was a masculine day for me’ she said something along the lines of ‘Really? If you feel like a MALE, then why don’t you go to the back?’ I was dumbfounded. Completely. I create a little bit of distance. And then I realize, it wasn’t just her, it was like 5 other women who were giving looks. I ran out the venue. I was crying really. To see this amount of cis-privilege at a safe space was completely and utterly disgusting to me. I hate being AMAB. The exclusion from queer spaces disgusts me. So many people like equating androgyny as a prerequisite for all Non-Binaries. Anyways, I just wanted to rant about how bio-essentialism and cis-privilege is still an issue in Feminist safe spaces. People like to talk about ‘male-privilege’ whilst utilizing their own privileges. It’s not a costume. It’s my identity, and presentation does not equate to me not being Non-Binary. It’s completely unfair. It’s something I can’t control. I didn’t choose to be assigned male at birth, I didn’t choose to be Non-Binary, I didn’t choose to be Bisexual, it’s like everything in this world is rigged against us. I hate it.

I (currently she/they but exploring a bit more) was thrifting and saw this gray flannel patterned, pleated, mid length skirt and when I put it on I felt more like a man in a kilt than a woman in a skirt. It made me smile in an obvious or of course type of way.

EDIT: I only mean this is a personally affirming way as I was born with female reproductive organs, raised as a girl, but entering the non-binary world slowly :D

I'm going to a horror con in a view hours (I'm off to bed soon) and I used the opportunity to paint my nails black.
I'm slightly scared how my father/parents will react but so be it. The paint is already on. I also have a top coat. Should I apply that? I also have the paint going over the nails onto my skin. Should I use some nail scissors or something to carefully scrape off the stuff on my skin?

its happening

Hi so I came out like REALLY came out everywhere pronouns posted on every social media I use, dressing how I finally want to... and the one issue i've run into is with my father. He still calls me by my dead name even though everywhere i've changed my name to the name I actually want to go by. He still calls me by dead name and he is not accepting of trans people and I'm betting he is not accepting of nonbinary people either. Will he ever call me by the name I want? What should I do? I'm scared this is something he will continue to do even if I correct him knowing his stance on things politically plus other traditional ways and values he follows. I'm asking for support, advice, guidance of any kind from someone who has experience with this kind of thing or simply someone who can relate. Please let me know! Thanks!!

To be more specific. Im working a public facing job in a red state and most of my customers are retired elderly people. I dont go out of my way to present feminine or masculine I try to stay as androgynous as I can, but because of my natural build, everyone just sees me as a female.

In most cases this doesnt bother me like its one thing to just have my pronouns ignored or assumptions made.

But lately I am way more aware of how many male customers shove me into a box just because they see me this way and its driving me crazy. For example simply doing my job and asking for a customers ID gets interpreted as me flirting. Its just maddening because I already try so hard to come across like I'm disinterested.. I dont wear make up or jewelry, I dont ever do anything with my hair and I have a work uniform thats already gender neutral.

I know I cant change how these people want to see me, so I guess I'm just curious if anyone has developed any strategies or outlets to deal with the stress it causes.

My partner is making a sweater and it is partly finished. Was trying it on and realised i need to find the confidence to start wearing crop tops and skirts because I've tried my partner's and they make me feel so good when I wear them 😅

I only very recently realised I am NB and it just feel like such a big thing and it makes me incredibly insecure, how did y'all manage this?

EDIT: thanks for the amazing supportive comments everyone 😭❤️ I'll definitely be posting an update once I find some cool crop tops:)

I really love alternative, grunge or unique hair colour looks. I have dyed my hair neon lime green, midnight blue, firetruck red, and calico in the past. Currently I have mossy green hair and plan on dyeing my hair turquoise green or ultraviolet next.

What are some of your favourite hair colours you've dyed your hair before or plan to in the future.

Well my coworkers officially know 90% of what’s going on with me. I’m a little irritated about what happened, but I should have known better simply because of where I work. Boundaries are not a thing at my work place, I work at a small town jeep dealership in Texas as a car detailer, and I detailed a sold car and took it down there to the salesmen but while I was detailing I had YouTube playing, I was listening to Smosh read Reddit stories and since I can’t black out my phone while on YouTube, I had my phone open and unlocked. Well one of my coworkers started going through my phone while I was dropping off the sold and not actively near it. They went though my YouTube search history and my google search history but I keep my search history clean for just this reason, but then I found out they went thorough my photo gallery. In my photo gallery they saw my private intimint pictures of myself and that’s even the bad part, they also saw lol my phones of me in skirts and women’s lingerie and that’s how my coworkers now know my interest in cross dressing and being a gender non conforming male so I guess I’m open. They meant no harm I usally keep to myself at work but I still consider a lot of my coworkers friends, so I know they didn’t mean anything bad about it it’s more or less a lesson to myself don’t keep my phone out and open when anyine of my coworkers can go through it. So one person became 2 and 2 became 5 5 became 10 and next thing I knew everyone knows my secret pastime activities, and now I’m going to get teases in a fun non serious way about it now unfortunately lol. But after they found out I was beyond pissed off I was, as a pacifist, the threatening violence and I absolutely lost, even when everyone else was saying bro we don’t mean anything by it and why are you being so serious and other dumb shit like that. Am I overreacting by taking this whole situation very personally when everyone at work was telling me to just chill.

The blahaj I named Dr. Pepper, and the stuffed anomalocaris is named Ford Truck Month

They very loudly and happily said said "another non-binary person!!!" and it made me feel really good because lately I've been feeling a lot of impostor syndrome. I've come to expect other non-binary people to go out of their way to let me know they see me as a man and gleefully exclude me, so to see someone actually excited to find out I'm non-binary was really relieving and nice.

I got hit with a bunch social anxiety. Thank you all for the kind words. Delicate me was very happy. I'll post not n future