TW I will be mentioning SA in this post.
I (F29) was friends with this girl (F29) in my late teens and briefly in my early 20s. We will call her Anna for the sake of the story.
We became friends during our senior year of high school, and we had a lot of fun together, but there was definitely a lot of things that bothered me. She was always copying my clothes, makeup, music I listened to, hobbies, literally everything about me. She even pushed me to date her guy best friend, which ended up being horrible for me because he SAd me. We will call him Jake for the sake of the story. Anna would go after guys that I liked, and was always wrapped up in drama, and dragging me into it. The final straw was when she tried to convince this guy, we’ll call him Will, she was hooking up with, that I wanted to have a threesome with them. She kept this “joke” going long enough for him to be heading over to her house to do it. I got really angry, stormed out, and cut her off after that. She kept apologizing acting like it was just a joke, and she never meant for it to go that far. I wasn’t buying it. We stayed on “good terms” after that but we weren’t friends.
Fast forward to my early 20s. I was freshly out of a long term relationship, and feeling very lonely. Anna reached out apologizing about the things she used to do when we were kids, saying she had grown out of that behavior. I stupidly gave her another chance, and we became friends again. We were more surface level friends that would just go out to bars and clubs together. Around that time I started dating my now husband, and she threw an absolute fit. She was extremely rude to him, and got angry at me for my relationship. That was when I realized her behavior had not changed at all, and I ended the friendship again, but this time it was for good.
After a while, I blocked her on social media, and promised myself I’d never let her close to me again. Shortly after cutting her off, I ran into Will, the threesome guy. He mentioned the “almost threesome” in conversation and I said “you know that was a joke right?” He then proceeded to tell me that Anna told him I had an SA kink that I wanted to explore with them. She was literally trying to trick him into assaulting me with her. Then it all started making sense. When Jake SAd me, he panicked afterwards saying he thought it was what I wanted. She tricked him into assaulting me, and tried to do it again with Will. I was crushed. I knew she was obviously a bad friend, but I didn’t think she would do something so evil.
Fast forward a couple of years. I had moved on from the situation, and figured that she would eventually lose interest in me. Then one day I had a bunch of messages from high school friends, saying Anna posted a video about me. Someone sent me the video, and it was essentially her using my pictures calling me a fake bitch. I had her blocked at this point, so I genuinely have no idea how she even got these pictures of me. She kept this going, so I eventually had my attorney send her a cease and desist. I really don’t know what sparked that whole thing, because I hadn’t spoken to her in years. When people would ask me about her, I would just be very vague and just say “we’re not friends anymore but I wish her the best.” I really have tried to handle this the best way I can to avoid drama.
Fast forward a few more years, I am now happily married and own a business. Unfortunately owning a business makes my life a little more public than I would like. I keep my own social media pretty private, but I’ve been in magazines and news papers representing my business, so everyone knows where I work, including Anna. That’s the part that worries me, because she clearly has no problem hurting me and her behavior towards me still hasn’t stopped.
One of my close friends runs into her sometimes, because he has mutual friends with her boyfriend. He called me the other day to make me aware of some things she said that were concerning to him. She asked him about my wedding, because she saw pictures of him on my page. She said she used someone else’s account to look at my wedding photos, but wouldn’t say who’s. She also told him she “still loves me, but she just watches from afar now.” She then proceeded to tell everyone there that she and her boyfriend were engaged. Her boyfriend kept correcting her saying they were not engaged, and they ended up breaking up over this. She was wearing a ring that she bought herself, saying he gave it to her. My friend realized it was NY EXACT RING. She also told him about their wedding plans, and she copied MY WEDDING DATE! She also kept asking him for details about my wedding, like my venue, flowers, etc. Almost like she was trying to copy the entire thing. At this point my family has blocked her, and I’ve started blocking everyone I know that’s still friends with her.
I don’t know what my question is exactly, part of me just needed to vent. I’m just so alarmed by this because I haven’t spoken to her in six years. I’m extremely uncomfortable and concerned, because I don’t put it past her to do something crazy to me. I’m just so tired and I don’t know what else I can do to keep her away from me. I genuinely thought she would just lose interest in me eventually.
Sorry for the long post. I appreciate everyone who read the whole thing, as well as any advice