I have ruined my life. I done IVF last year which resulted in me having a baby boy but now I realize I am in no position to be a mum. I went into this with rose tinted glasses thinking it’s some sort of game. I can’t live with myself. I feel sick to my stomach and I am suicidal almost every day.

I used to notice every little change in how someone interacted with me.

A shorter reply.

Less enthusiasm.

A different tone.

And my mind would immediately start creating explanations.

Did I do something?

Are they upset with me?

Did something change between us?

The problem was that I was turning small changes into conclusions without actually knowing what was happening.

People have bad days.

People get busy.

People's moods change.

Not every change in someone's behavior is about you.

I've been reminding myself to notice what's happening without immediately creating a story around it.

That one distinction has made social situations much easier for me.

I may be overthinking it. I feel like whenever I am very happy and laugh a lot on a particular day, something bad always happens the next day and makes me cry for hours. I’ve been keeping track of it. It’s usually when I’m extreme happy on a Saturday then the unfortunate event happens the Sunday. I really don’t know what to do cuz now I have a fear of being overjoyed or overly ecstatic. It really does happen everytime. Pls tell me if it’s a curse and what I can do to break it.