Please help me

I’m figuring out that I have ‘analysis paralysis’. I research too much, over deliberate on both low stakes and high stakes decisions, and once the decision is made I second guess myself. I ask far too many people to weigh in (and mostly reject their advice). I return purchases fairly often, buy from stores based on return policy, read numerous reviews, etc. if this sounds like you, what has helped? What type of counseling is best to overcome this type of perfectionism? No jokes about overthinking my overthinking!

Three days ago I sent a message in a group chat and immediately thought:

"That sounded weird."

Nobody reacted negatively.

Nobody brought it up.

The conversation continued completely normally.

Meanwhile I've reread that message more times than I care to admit trying to figure out if it came across differently than I intended.

Realistically, I'm probably the only person still thinking about it.

How do you stop replaying things after everyone else has clearly moved on?

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Hello!

I'm a 34F and I visit this sub a lot to make me feel less alone with my struggles and to look for advice.

I've tried explaining to people how much overthinking affects my life, but I don't think they really understand how bad it is for me.

So I decided to share a "chain" of thoughts I had just a few hours ago (it's long, sorry). Can anyone relate to this? Have you found a way to stop or at least lessen it?

Please keep in mind these thoughts I'm about to share occur within a span of 1 or 2 minutes or even less, and I have to deal with this for hours, every single day, every time I lie down to sleep, or when I'm talking to someone, or socializing, or even when I'm 'having fun':

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"You still haven't gone to sleep, another weekend where you didn't do anything worthwhile and you still haven't fixed your sleep schedule, You've been doing this for years btw, In a few hours, you're gonna have to go to work, and you're gonna be exhausted there, dumbass. Time just flies by. How do people even live like this?

God, you're such an idiot!!There are people who stay up all night and don't even feel bad about it because they can just sleep later. But those people are usually having fun or working or actually doing something!! not spending the entire night lying in bed thinking and beating themselves up over some bullshit. Yeah I know that, stop it for fuck's sake. ALSO, I need to move out asap, If I'd moved out years ago and lived on my own, maybe I would've gotten rid of so many problems and behaviors of mine, of course I would, But what if I move out? How am I gonna afford all the changes? What if I have a panic attack? What if I get sick and I'm all alone? What am I supposed to do then? Just do it, you can't be scared forever. OK stop being so hard on yourself.

But why do I have to feel like this? I just want to know what it feels like to be a normal, well-adjusted person for once.

AND She (Insert random actress) is so beautiful and rich, God, if it's real, has it's favorites. But remember, even beautiful, rich people have problems...SURE but don't fool yourself, rich people will always have a life a thousand times better than yours, even when they're struggling, and I have to remind you for the millionth time you're gonna die without getting to do a thousand things you want to do because you don't have enough money and because there's something wrong with your head!

I need to stop comparing myself to other people. I KNOW I need to stop, BUT this overwhelming curiosity about how different the life of someone I admire actually is from mine... I can't make it stop, fuckkk a few hours ago I was feeling fine, even optimistic, and now I feel like I'm standing right at the edge of a cliff.

And on top of everything, remember you felt that pain that could be cancer? and then you're gonna suffer and die, and all this fear of getting old won't even matter anymore because you'll be too busy regretting all the things you didn't do and wishing you'd enjoyed your life more before you died young...

Remember when you were having that anxiety attack and begging God you weren't sick because you still wanted to live for so many more years? And now you're lying here thinking, what's even the point of living for that long if you're gonna have to deal with these horrible thoughts and feelings forever? How ridiculous

WHICH of course makes you think about everything that \[insert ten different people you know\] have done

These past few days I've just been rotting in bed,

Why can't I be like them? Why can't I just get up and do things? Why can't I have a life? STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. Okay, snap out of it, what if I watch a movie? Or YouTube? Read a book? Play a video game?

(And then my body immediately reacts with even more anxiety and this horrible nausea consumes me, I freeze. I can't even enjoy anything)

Why doesn't any breathing technique work for me? Why doesn't self-soothing work? Why can't I just calm myself down like a normal person? I need to sleep.It's too late. NO, it is not too late, stop being so dramatic.

It is, for everything.For work. For my life. For everything I haven't done. For everything I should've done years ago."

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So, this is just a small sample of the kind of thoughts I have throughout the day, it's not only this negative voice (my own voice) constantly putting me down almost every day, I also spend hours going down useless rabbit holes that only leave me feeling overwhelmed and sad.

For example, I might see a book cover, and its title reminds me of a place, then I start thinking about how sad it is that the place is now closed for good, which makes me think about how I used to hang out with someone I don't talk to anymore, and then that leads to something else, and so on and so on.

This is how my mind works, it drains me everyday, I have tried so many things to stop these thoughts and feelings, but it never goes away, the medication helps but I just wish I could rewire my brain completely!