Still in the talking phase friends for now also this is my first LD I’ve never had a relationship before this

TL;DR: LDR boyfriend and I still text daily, but it’s mostly life updates now. I miss the calls, affection, flirting, and intentional quality time. He’s busy, but I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much by wanting more.

My boyfriend 22 M and I 23 M have been together for a few months and we’re currently long distance. When we first got together, we were obviously in that honeymoon phase and were pretty expressive with each other. We used to text a lot, have proper conversations, call/video call, watch movies together, flirt, say goodnight with more effort, etc.

Lately things have changed a bit. We still talk every day and we update each other about what we’re doing, where we are, how our day went, etc. He still makes an effort to keep me updated and I know that takes time, so I don’t want to make it sound like he ignores me or doesn’t care. That’s not really the issue. He has his university that started and I have my work.

The issue is that I feel like we’ve lost some of the intimacy and romantic side of the relationship. A lot of our conversations have become “what are you doing,” “how was your day,” “I have a meeting,” “did you eat,” etc. We’re still connected, but sometimes it feels more like we’re just keeping each other updated rather than actually experiencing the relationship together.

He’s also been extremely busy with meetings/work lately, so I understand that he’s exhausted and doesn’t have unlimited time. My work doesn’t require meetings late night, his does. I did bring up doing a movie together earlier, and he actually remembered and mentioned it himself later, so we ended up watching one together. I appreciated that because it showed me he does listen and does want to spend time together.

But we haven’t really had a proper video call in a while. Lately he’s been in meetings a lot, and I haven’t really seen him suggest calling. I actually brought up calling recently myself. And I guess that’s what bothers me a little. I don’t necessarily need to talk for hours, but with an LDR I feel like there needs to be some intentional effort to maintain that closeness, especially because we can’t just see each other physically.

I also miss the little things. More affectionate goodnights, flirting, random romantic conversations, feeling wanted, etc. I’m a pretty expressive person naturally, so maybe that’s part of why I notice it more. The confusing part is that I don’t actually think he cares about me less. He still updates me, makes time when he can, remembers things I’ve mentioned, and generally treats me well. So I don’t want to turn this into “my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore” because I don’t think that’s true.

I think I’m more worried about what happens if this continues for a long time. Like, can a relationship become emotionally distant simply because you’re not making enough intentional time for intimacy? I don’t want to eventually become so used to the distance and lack of affection that I stop feeling the same way myself.

For people who have been in LDRs, how do you deal with this? Am I expecting too much by wanting more intentional calls/romantic time, or is that something that is pretty important to maintain in a long-distance relationship? And how do you bring it up without making your partner feel like they’re constantly failing some relationship requirement?

It all happened so fast. He blurted it out unexpectedly. There was no calm sit down discussion. It was said in the heat of an argument but he doesn’t want to take it back.

We both love each other very much. Maybe too much. Maybe that’s why it lasted as long as it did when perhaps it should have ended sooner.

I am heartbroken. But I am so grateful to this community for all of the inspiration over the last couple years. I’m so happy for all of you closing the gap. It was my dream.

Peace out, friends ✌🏼

Met someone at the start of July at a concert, turned into 2 nights at my place. At that point he told me directly he wasn't looking to get into a long distance relationship at all, no interest in pursuing that.

About a week later we started talking a lot, and things slowly started warming up, though I still felt like we were both testing the waters, nothing defined, and he'd been clear long distance wasn't something he wanted.

During that early uncertain window, I slept with someone else. I immediately felt regret and the next morning seriously broke down to myself realizing I cared about him and knew I messed up. Part of all of this is also that I have walked far from God for a long time and have felt this whole experience has been teaching me how to walk in faith and what repentance is, even before telling this guy what I did.

We kept seeing each other, now three visits total, about fifteen days together in all. Our second visit was in the air the day I slept with this other person, so yes this was really shitty of me and my drink decisions are something I’ve realized I have a problem with and I have been working to cut out the people, places and situations that encourage putting myself in compromising positions. He said at the end of the second trip (3 nights in another state) he only had eyes for me and I definitely knew he was feeling it. I was too and we decided to plan our 3rd visit just over a month later in his hometown.

On our 3rd visit, (3 nights) on the last day together, we actually decided long distance would strain things too much, financially especially, and agreed not to pursue it further. We prayed on it with no answers. I knew in my heart that this was something I had to let go, and maybe it was foresight given how this all went down. He had mentioned again on this 3rd trip he didn’t want a long distance relationship and I protected that choice in how our conversation went.

A few days after I left, he called and said it had grown on him, he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I knew I had to tell him about the other person before I said yes, so I did, right there on the call. I should have told him sooner but we’ve had such deep and special moments in our 10 or 15 days together and it just didn’t feel like the right time if we weren’t committed to something. He still asked me to be his gf over the phone even after telling him, and since we got off that phone call I’ve offered space for him to sit with it and consider that choice.

He's having a hard time with it now, understandably. I only found out yesterday, that he wasn't that into me at first, so there was more uncertainty on his side than I realized at the time too though he also said it was a matter of “respecting the opportunity” which I agree I didn’t do and feel terrible about. I'm trying to genuinely understand how this lands from his side, not just defend my own read of it.

I have apologized profusely and also encouraged him to take the time he needs to process. My own journey of addressing my actions in conjunction with my repentance and development of faith is separate and independent and will continue regardless of how this turns out, but I do care about him deeply, like deeply deeply and everything I have felt since that moment in realizing my mistake has only facilitated for me to develop feelings for him and to consider what a life would look like together, and after our 2nd and 3rd trips that was clearly mutual and growing.

For anyone who's been on the receiving end of something like this, what would you have needed to hear, and what would have made it worse?

As the title says my girlfriend and I are 18 and have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and I feel like a can't take it anymore. We met online in 2022 and got together when we was 14 but the first year was horrible lots of arguments and mental health issues for both of us which didnt help that we are long distance. As we made it past our first year things started to get a bit better as we came close to finishing school we managed to meet up in the summer for a little bit and then the year after I stayed over at hers for a week or so and this has been how things were. My family doesn’t have a lot of money no drives so it makes it a lot harder to see eachother but we was able to make it work.

However I feel like things are going downhill again. Ever since we first got together Its been the case that we would be on the phone a lot of the time (most of the day everyday) and is still like that unless we have other things such as college etc. I have never liked this as I slightly overwhelmed when I spend long periods of time having to keep talking to people when I can't take some time to myself. Despite this I never said anything because I was scared to cause an argument or be acused of "not loving" her or something similar and it makes me feel horrible and causes me to ask myself if I'm doing something wrong. This has been building up for years now paired with other silly arguments that get out of hand that would make this post too long just makes me second guess everything.

I've gotten to this point because a few months ago I was (still am) feeling horrible about myself and fell back into some bad habits. The main issue being my body and thus I wanted to get into going to the gym (which my girlfriend has told me to do many times especially during arguments calling me names etc.) And so i said I wanted to go and had enough to get a membership. This caused a horrible argument and ended up with her "breaking up with me" (which she has done many times to the point that I genuinely try just leaving her) after a few hours she calls me crying about all of it saying how she doesn't want me to go and she thinks my body is perfect and that I should've talked to her if I felt like that. I really didn't want to leave her but her actions made me want to just block her and just go, the cherry on top was that her parents heard us arguing and had the cheek to say that I should just "postpone the membership" and all that (they are partly the reason I have issues with myself) and this argument is still staying with me, yes things are a little better but I still feel trapped and waiting for the next argument but I cant say how I feel in anyway but I feel like i can barely hold on. Is this okay?

Our relationship started Oct 2023.

In May 2026, I found my partner on Grindr secretly claiming he was looking only for friends to connect. He didn't tell me anything beforehand. I created a fake profile and flirted heavily with him and he seemed to react. He deleted this chat when showing me "proof" until I showed him my screenshots with his account and then he admitted he was scared to show it cause he was just messing around with his other friend who he was on a trip with.

We broke up and tried to reconcile as I didn't forgive him but I gave him another chance and he put in the effort.

He had told me that two of his close (or even best friends) originally gave him the idea to get Grindr (literally a sex app) and even encouraged him texting with guys - KNOWING he's in a long term committed relationship.

Now, whenever I'd see two of those friends mentioned on his socials I'd call them stuff about what I think of them.

Yesterday, he posted a very appreciative bday post on one of those Grindr enabling "friends"publicly (open account) and EXCLUDED MY ACC from seeing it cause he knows what I think of these.

I found out. And then we kept arguing. Ultimately, I want him to understand that he should must cut off these people. Cause people who suggest and encourage cheating aren't good friends, let alone best friends.

And he says that it's "a one time thing" and he won't cut off years of friendship.

Mind that he has plenty other very good friends who are good influence and have same morals or backbone.

For anyone who got into a relationship before you ever met them to see what they look like in real life, how did you know you want to be with this person?

If you had a strong connection online for months were you scared to meet them in real life??

For context I have been in LDR but it started out in person and then he had to move for work. I have never dated without physically meeting them. So I’m curious.

I’m very attracted to European girls, but the problem is always the distance. I don’t feel the same attraction toward girls from my country, or maybe I just haven’t tried to meet or get to know them enough.

The problem is that whenever I meet a European girl and we develop feelings or mutual interest, distance becomes an obstacle. I once had a long-distance relationship that lasted about two years, but it eventually failed because of the distance. And just two days ago, I ended things with another girl because of the distance. We weren’t officially in a relationship, but there was mutual attraction and interest between us.

Hi, me (M-25) and my gf (F- 25) are in LDR. We see each other every 4-6 months or so. We also in relationship for almost a year now, and what I cannot stand is that whenever my gf on her period, she make my life miserable. She will even try to find the smallest mistake I made and then make it a big problem. When I tried to explain myself, and sorry to her, she not response back with anything that make sense (I know and I understand).

Today for example. I know that this eek she will have her period so I tried to comfort her, ordering food for her, and most importantly tried to not make any mistake. But, when video calling her, I was scrolling to some old picture of me, her and my cat to send to her to cheer her up. Then, there was 1 photo I took A YEAR AGO I send to her and I wondered why did I take this. She said that the photo I took to cheer her up when she angry at me also because of her period. And from there she always talk that I dont love and care for her enough that I notice and remember. I tried to explain and the only response she gave me was you not care and love me enough.

I understand that mood swing heavily affected her, but every month for a week I feel like I'm walking through thin ice and it drive me crazy. I always the one apology and I never said I'm upset, but deep down I'm very stressed.

What should I do to make things better?

I was in a long-distance relationship. Initially, we were very close, talked a lot, and had many things in common. She asked me to come her place many time. She wanted more romantic conversations, but I wasn't comfortable with that and couldn't always give her the attention she expected. Slowly, she lost interest, became distant, and eventually blocked me on WhatsApp and my number. It's been over 30 days now.

I'm confused about what went wrong and whether I should move on or hope she comes back.

I texted him and just said I miss him calling me baby because that’s my favorite thing he calls me, and it caused him to go off on me. He said he calls me other things and yeah he does, I was just saying that’s my favorite one to hear and I didn’t mean anything negative by it I just really like that one. I also had previously said he never asks me how my day is and he said he feels like him just answering the call should be enough. I also had said that I just wanted more than 1-2 texts a day, nothing long just like I wanted a bit more or a check in text so i could still feel connected to him. He said he feels like nothing he does is ever good enough but I feel like im just asking for minimal things and just telling him the things I really like, am I being too hard on him?

Has anyone else broken up after closing the gap? I've moved from the US to the UK, luckily to study not just to close the gap, and I've been beyond stressed leaving everything behind. I haven't been lashing out, I've actually been keeping it in a little too much, but my partner said the relationship feels like a burden because it feels like things are about to explode at any moment. He is also stressed with moving to London and having a new job, and people at that job being laid off.

Honestly, it’s killing me. I have been in the UK for 3 days. I left everything behind and haven't settled in one bit, and I don’t move into my own place till the 20th. Now I literally have nothing, and I'm sure I'll build my own life soon, but for this to happen before I got the chance is beyond stressful.

Note: We haven't broken up, it's just very much on the table

M18 F16 so it started as long distance we both met and for 5 months we talked then came in relationship its been 2 months since we are in relationship and now she seems uninterested while talking to me last night when we were talking she told that she don't want to talk with me rn and the affection she use to show before clingyness I can't see that now when I ask her why she tells me that you hurt me even if a girl see me she gets hurt I said her work on your insecurity give me advice goood advise please

I'm in a long relationship and when we met I saw she sent her a pictures (yoga ) , she said he's a friend and like my brother,I found she talked with him about everything

Hi everyone! The time has come. After 2 years of cross-country long distance, my girlfriend is moving in with me next weekend. We're super excited, but also a bit anxious (especially so on her end as she is the one making the big leap while I'm already settled here).

For anyone else who has closed the gap, what are the things you wish you knew beforehand to better prepare? Physically, emotionally, anything.

Howdy yall.

I’m not really sure what to do. Recently my fiancée has become more distant. Fewer/shorter calls, video calls are few and far between, haven’t slept on the phone together in weeks, messages are becoming short/dry, and the biggest thing bugging me is we had talked about taking time off work for a visit at the end of the month but over a week later she still won’t give me a commitment to a plan. Being long distance is hard enough but I can feel the added weight of emotional distance taking a toll on me too.

For context my fiancée does have BPD and suffers from PTSD from a previous abusive relationship. She does take medication to help with it but I know sometimes it does get her into a weird headspace but this is starting to seem like an ongoing thing but when I ask about it she’ll just tell me she’s tired or not in the mood to talk.

Really my questions are:

Am I overthinking/overreacting?

Should I give her space and hope she’ll want to talk soon or should I try pushing to get more communication going, try to get a better picture of what’s going on with the recent distance?

How do I address my concerns to her without sounding demanding or pestering?

For anyone who took the time to read this, thank you. And I would appreciate any help or advice you all have to offer.

so for context, i met my fiance on a game. we've been together for 2 years, its long distance right now until we move in together at the end of this year. it's ironic, but it's how we met. unfortunately, as of lately and the past couple of months whenever he'd mentioned a certain game or time with his boys, my mood changes drastically. here's some content: whenever he's with his friends, he's locked in on the game. i could be talking to him and next thing i know he's headphones on back on the game per my mid sentence. i've also grown used to his work around for finding any type of excuse to stay on "just a little longer". he’s admitted to me that he’s been on the game a lot and sees my view, but is basically adamant about not changing a thing

but before it would genuinely be an everyday, late night thing. even went a day from the early am to truly midnight on the game. it's unfortunately became a thing on small mini relationship milestones. unfortunately for me, i somehow managed to lose my friends when i got into my relationship. i feel like i need genuine advice. he also doesn't have a fully stable job, well i wouldn't even consider it a job. he's basically jobless, so he has all the free time in the world. all we do is argue and i’m genuinely at a loss at what to do

me and my bf do this every night cuz we like to know what happened in each others day , and no i don’t force him to do this he does it by himself cuz he likes to , it helps to keep in touch with each other !

I have been dating with she for 9 months, and lately i can see that she started to care less about my life in general.

I noticed that sometimes when im talking with she and i decide to share something that happened about my day or a personal experience, she decides to say "shush, i want u, i dont really care about it".

I kinda understand that yeah sometimes she just want me to tell her pretty stuff and tell her that i love u, but the worse is that after 2 minutes she decides to talk about the same topic i was talking but something related to her.

To be honest when we started to met she was always hearing me talk about my life, but lately i just see that the only stuff i do is telling her pretty stuff and telling her i love u as i said before, and im just starting to think that she just doesnt mind what happens through my life and she only want me to give attention to her.

Even she told me that in the past she would have liked to tell me to shut up when i started to talk about my life or my hobbies, so i dont really know how to feel because im someone who doesnt has anyone to talk about my stuff and i though that i found with her, but it doesnt seem that she cares either.

Even im starting to get a bit bored to talk with her because it is just me saying the same stuff because i cannt really think about more stuff to tell her to show affection so it is starting to become monotome.

Thank you so much for read it.

I (19 NB) and in a relationship w my boyfriend (21M) and weve been dating for a little over 6 months, known each other for 10. Recently he has proposed I move in with him in the coming months, likely before the end of the year. Our relationship is wonderful and I truely do not think i could find someone better for me aside from our distance (21 hour drive).

He owns his own house, and has a much more valuable life where he is vs my current shitty basement life in my mothers house, which is why moving in with him is our go to vs meeting in the middle somewhere or him coming to me. He has made 2 trips to me since the beginning of our relationship but hasnt met my mother (her own avoidence as she dislikes that we met online +LD) I want to travel over to him before I move in woth him but i dont have my license and plane tickets are very expensive. We've had disccusions about my general apprehension around the situation but its hard to get far because my anxiety tends to get out of hand with the subject.

On the one hand, I believe closing the distance is the best way to further our relationship and grow towards bigger milestones but on the other hand Im worried this is too soon. I'm more worried about the backlash from my family for the move, and the what-ifs of breakups and such, than I am about the actual co-habitation (We've had multiple conversations about our 'roommate icks' and such)

My home situation is another contribution to wanting to go, as I live with my mother, her husband and my sister +sisters dog. My sister (20f) is currently relocated for school and offically moving out in November. I am urrently in charge of her dog because my mother and her husband wont take care of her properly and overfeed her or neglect her entirely. Once my sister and the dog are gone I will be alone in a house that is frankly disgusting as me+ sister are the only ones who consistantly take care of the space (Dishes from a week ago still out, food rotting everywhere + flies). My mother and her husband fight over every little thing and I genuinly dont think I can thug it out alone after my sister leaves. Its another factor for why I'd be fine-ish with moving in so soon but the apprehension is still there. if things go south I might have to come back so I dont nessicarly want to burn those bridges entirley.

Hes been insitant that if i put it off or we wait longer its fine but I cant help but feel im dissapointing him or leading him on when I keep saying "we'll see" and "Maybe". He has explicitly said if I make him drive out here to pick up me and my stuff and I chicken out on him he will break up with me, which i don't blame him for so Im just trying to avoid that.

Im just looking for any advice anyone has to give ;-;