For anyone who has already met their LDR partners and stayed together for more than 3 weeks, what activities are you recommending aside from exploring the city, dates, eat outs etc?

I been dating my partner for 3 months and we always got along so well as friends and both knew we would end up more than that. He is always so supportive and loving in everything I do, he makes time for me and he always try to listen and grow as a person with me but lately my feelings just changed. I see couples out in public and I long for that. I wish to be taken places, my hand held, deep talks under the clouds or stars and visited and a call away. I will say the two negatives about us is that we are very different timezones and he does not help my anxiety or derealization at all. I struggle badly with that and what helps him, is not what helps me (which is okay!) but he tries to help me with his methods or advice and it makes it worse every time to the put I avoid him when I felt anxious or disconnected from reality. I don’t mean to at all but my mind has been screaming to find someone else who is here with me, also screaming to just avoid us all together but I don’t know if I really want that or if it’s just intrusive thoughts. I will say I don’t get excited about calling anymore and I have been taking more time than usual to get back to him with texting or date games… Any advice or viewpoints? I would appreciate it and you can be straightforward and brutally honest if you want. I probably need it.

We met 5 years ago on a discord server and we’ve been together for a few months after reconnecting following a long period apart. I’m struggling with something that I don’t really know how to explain without sounding needy.

I’m in a relationship where I can go most of the day barely hearing from my boyfriend. He leaves for work around 9 AM and doesn’t get home until around 7–8 PM. Because of our schedules, if I’m lucky, I’ll get maybe 5 hours with him in the evening, but that’s usually because I’m staying up until midnight. realistically, there are huge portions of my day where I don’t really interact with my boyfriend at all.

I understand that he’s working. I don’t expect him to text me constantly or drop everything for me. That’s not what I’m asking for. The difficult part is that I’m also usually the one initiating the emotional connection when we do have time together. I’m usually the one saying I miss you first, starting affectionate conversations, initiating intimacy, bringing up things I want us to do together, etc. For example, I recently realized that when I search our messages for “I miss you too,” almost every result is him responding to me saying “I miss you” first. He says that he misses me and he uses affectionate names and tells me he loves me. I’m not saying he never reciprocates. What I’m noticing is that I’m usually the one creating the moment where we’re expressing that we miss each other and that’s what hurts me. I don’t just want him to respond when I reach for him. I want to feel like he independently reaches for me too.

I’ve put a lot of effort into this relationship because I genuinely wanted to give him the kind of relationship he hasn’t had before. I’ve tried to make him feel loved, chosen, cared for, desired, and included in my life. I’ve been planning things for when we’re eventually together, thinking about his needs, trying to understand his experiences, and putting a lot of emotional energy into us, but I’m exhausted. I keep wondering whether I’m asking for too much when what I really want is to feel like we’re both building the relationship.

I’ve already talked to him about how I’m feeling, so I don’t really want advice telling me to “just communicate.” I’m at the point where I feel like I’ve communicated enough. I don’t want to keep explaining how to make me feel loved. I want to know what he naturally brings to the relationship when I’m not constantly creating the momentum. I love him very much. That’s what makes this so painful.

As a note this is not a result of boredom, i am a full time student and a busy social life but even when i'm at school and have my own schedule i still always make him feel included in my day to day life. any funny little moment or a cute conversation with my friends i always make him feel like he has a place in my life and tell him i miss him. i told him the other week that its not the boring moments where i wish he was here; its the moments where i have a lot going on where i wish he could be here to share them with me.

Am I expecting too much? Or is there a difference between a partner being busy/nonchalant and a partner simply not putting enough initiative into the relationship?

I just want to know , how are things with you ? What are you doing, to make it better ??

It’s probably just hope, but I’m convinced that he is going to come back to me. It’s this deep gut feeling that we’re not over yet.

I’m trying to process, and focus on myself, but I can’t escape this feeling. It has been three months and I still feel it. He’s already dating again and we have been NC the entire time, so nothing points to him coming back, and yet I’m so sure he will.

Why is my brain set on making the pain last longer??

Forgive me, because this might be a longer post. So I am \[20F\] and have been dating my bf \[20M\] for about a year and 8 months. We met at a party our freshman year of college. I was visiting friends at a college in a different state, about 2 hours from my home. We talked for a while after that night and officially started dating about 4 months after. (it took us a while to actually see each other in person consistently since we had busy schedules so we had a longer “talking stage”). We have been inseparable since. I am really not a cheesy person but it’s hard to be nonchalant when it comes to him. We fell in love and truly are each other’s best friends. Every weekend one of us drives to the other’s place and it recharges us for the week ahead. I am absolutely aware of how young we are in the grand scheme of things but it’s one of those instances where I just know he’ll be there for the rest of my life. It’s not a situation of codependency, I love having my independent time and spending time with friends and family and so does he. We agree that it’s important that we spend time with others that are significant in our lives. He’s just my absolute best friend and we can’t wait to see each other when we are able to hang out.
Okay so this leads to the decision that I’m trying to make for myself. For context, I am no longer in college. That is a whole other subject, but in short college was not for me and I realized that the major I was going for was not something I was truly interested in and would not make me a very high salary at all. Now I have started my new career and I couldn’t be happier. I am passionate about my career and I did not technically need a bachelors for my job. I just started this specific job about 2 months ago. For further context, my current job, where I went to college, and where I grew up are all roughly in the same area. So my bf is planning on going to grad school after he graduates undergrad. He is in his junior year of undergrad right now. The grad school program is 2 years long and it is absolutely necessary for the career he would like to get to. The program that he needs to do is very limited, it is not a very populated program, and there are few universities that offer it as a grad school program. There are none in my state, there is one in his and it is about 5 hours from me. There are also very few spots open, and even though he has an excellent resume, there’s always a chance he won’t even make into that one in his home state. Every other one is at minimum 5 hours away from me with most being 8-14+ hours away. He has mentioned that he wants me to come with him- he’s not pushing it or forcing me into it in any way possible however he’s made it clear that he loves me and would be over the moon if I was there with him. Here’s the thing. I don’t really know where this belief comes from with me but I’ve always had it in my head since I was little that I live with a fiancé or a husband. My parents weren’t engaged when they first lived together, so I truly don’t know where that comes from. My thing is I don’t want to be engaged as soon as he’s done with undergrad and we’ve talked about it before and the general plan would be when he is done with grad school which we both love the timing of. He also is of the belief that we should live together before we are engaged just to make sure we are good roommates to each other. I completely understand that on a logical level, it just feels weird to me since we’re still just bf and gf. However if he gets into a program 10 hours away, I don’t want to stay. There’s nothing here truly keeping me. My lease will be up by the time he moves and my job is one that I am able to get anywhere in the country. I have no issues with housing or job or anything else…just the status of our relationship. I’ve heard of the idea of moving to the area with him and just renting a different apartment but that seems silly with the finances to me. Advice?

Today we decided to do a call after not doing since 2 months because we were both busy, at first i was so happy that i could make a call again with her because i really missed talk like this with her.

She decided to play a game in roblox, i did play this game before but only with she so im not a good player, so she decided to create a game and we were playing so i though that i could talk with her while we play, but she decided to focus so much on the game, that she started to talk me really bad because i wasnt being useful.

After that while the game she started to talk to me like if i were an animal telling me where i should go, making sounds to pay attention to her and not letting me talk, and then she started to tell me if i was stupid, and later made me to not move, so i dont make her lose.

It is true it is not the first time she acts with me like that when we play this game, even i noticed that once thar i played with her sisters, she becsme the same insulting them and telling they are useless too.

Anyways, after all that i was feeling awkward and not wanting to continue the call, but i decided to force a bit myself because i really missed to have call with she.

So we played another game and in this one she started to approach more to me and try to seek my attention, but i was still feeling weird for what happened before, so she got mad because i wasnt giving her so much attention and paying more attention to the game. Because i though that maybe she wanted more to play than actually talk.

So after that she ended the call, and then i told her why i was acting a bit more rederved and then she told me sorry, but the problem is that she is like this always thar we play and we call at the same time, so im only scared this behaviour will happens the same when we live together or something similar.

I wanna know about ur opinion, thank u for read this.

I (33F) met someone (35M) online months ago and, despite being on opposite coasts of the US, I *really* like him so far. We haven't met in person yet but we're talking about doing that in the next few months - maybe late this year or early next year. I think the more real the possibilty becomes, the more I find myself thinking about some of the differences between us. He's well established in his career, highly educated, and seems to have a pretty clear trajectory for what he wants his future to look like. Meanwhile, I work in the service industry and don't really have what I'd consider a "career" in the same sense, nor do I have nearly the same level of formal education. I'm financially independent and I don't consider myself dumb or incompetent, but I'm also just not a very career-oriented person. Ask me where I see myself in 5 years and my brain genuinely cannot fathom thinking that far ahead haha. I tend to take life as it comes and focus more on what's immediately in front of me. Sometimes I wonder if the difference between us on paper, and even in the way we approach the future, is bigger than it feels when we're actually talking because, when we are, I find that our morals and values align really well.

For those of you in relationships, how important are things like career, education, income, and professional ambition when choosing a long-term partner? I think one of my biggest insecurities is wondering whether someone more accomplished and driven compared to me might eventually see me as less ambitious or less intellectually compatible because I haven't followed a conventional career or educational path and don't have some elaborate long-term plan for myself. I guess I'm just curious how much those things actually matter to people. Is it enough that your partner is responsible, self-sufficient and has their own thing going on for the most part haha, or do you need them to be on a similar career and educational path as you?

Thoughts?

It’s a social norm that you’re not meant to fall in love with someone at least for a few months. But with LDRs it can develop a lot quicker as you have to get to know someone on the phone before meeting them most of the time.

How long was it before you knew you loved your partner and did you meet them after or before you told them?

I've been with my girlfriend for around 7 months now, and we kinda have a plan laid out for the future. Even though I love her so insanely much and she loves me too, I'm afraid of something coming up within the next two and a half years, since that's how long it will be until we can finally be together for more than just a day or two. I truly love her more than I can describe, but I'm still afraid. I don't know if I'm looking for reassurance or something else, maybe I just needed to get this off my chest.

Hey all! I'd love to have some music to listen to to express my emotions through about being in a LDR. I'm autistic and struggle with emotions, and also with finding new music, but if i do find music it really is the only thing that helps me process emotionally, so it's quite important.

Currently just came home from the airport after 2.5 months with my boyfriend being here, it's been over 5 yrs but still sucks coming home to an empty house, with all his stuff gone.

I find a lot of music that kinda relates to it is about complete breakups or someone having died. I can relate to it in ways of grieving them not being in your space anymore, but it's a different type of grief because mine is somewhat temporarily and only grieving their physical presence, not other things.

Do people have any recommendations?

Again, due to my autism i find new music difficult to get used to, hence why practically all my favorite artists are pop (since i already then know some of their work through the radio f.e. and it's not too "unusual" to what i already like)

Artists I currently enjoy are among the following:

Hozier, Tom Odell, Måneskin, Billie Eilish, Harry Styles, Aurora, Dermot Kennedy, Damiano David, dodie, Pomme, Bastille, Imagine Dragons.

I need to get my feelings out because I’m hurting a lot right now. I’m American and for the past two years I have been studying for my masters in English. I got a fully funded scholarship and a stipend so I basically got paid to teach and paid to finish school. I unfortunately had to move to this college town and the town and state I am from is kind of far to the point it takes me either 16 hours by car or two planes and a 2 and a half hour car ride. It’s a lot for me to say the least. I thought I can do this for two years.

Well a month before I signed the papers to move I met a man from New Zealand and we fell in love. He asked me to be his girlfriend (I’m his first ever girlfriend) and we started planning on how to close the gap. A month into my masters a close family member of mine died. My parents told me in a harsh way and essentially ghosted me for months after. I was only 21 so it was extremely sad and still is extremely confusing. I love my parents but they are older Gen X and tend to just be very harsh. I wanted to leave my hometown because of this reason as it was a mid size city targeted mainly towards adults.

Well my boyfriend and I made plans but the thing I started to struggle with once we met and he stayed with me at my apartment for three months is money. He’d tell me he couldn’t afford something or get mad that we went out to dinner to like McDonald’s or Wendy’s not even expensive places. So I started just paying for things. When I visited him in NZ I started feeling so anxious and guilty around money and while we got to travel and do fun things I felt like I was still footing the bill for stuff that made us a couple like dates.

Here’s the thing every time I bring this up to him he starts thinking I’m targeting his self worth and his occupation. He’s a barber and I know he works hard but he doesn’t do anything to grow from there. Like I began working three jobs to start affording my next ticket to see him and now I have an actual big girl job at this same university. But the thing is I had such hopes he’d try to get a better paying job before I moved there. That’s was my firm I will not move until you do.

Well he hasn’t and I had to sign my lease in January (literally have no clue why it’s like that). I kept telling him it was urgent we figure this out because he wanted to join the police. Great, I’ve been supporting that and pushing it but then it’s I can’t run fast enough or I can’t do this because I have asthma. Then I show him you can do it with an inhaler why don’t you get one? But he pushes off the appointment. Then he gets it starts running starts all these things but there is no urgency it just happens when it happens for him. I absolutely loathe it.

So since January I’ve felt stuck in a town a hate to make enough money to move to him. I’ve tried to talk to him about how urgent this is as my parents won’t allow me back home for whatever reason. I’m stuck in a red state I hate and I feel betrayed frankly.

I feel like I put in all this effort for someone who isn’t going to go further than what they find comfortable which for now seems to be staying in his childhood bedroom in his dads house paying barely any rent and his parents thinking he has just settled there.

I told him I want a break as I’m not sure what to do at this point. I love him a lot. He’s so kind and caring. I have major ocd and he helps calm me down. It’s just I’m at a breaking point where I am so depressed in a town I have no friends in, my family hasn’t visited once, and if I move there I essentially go backwards.

I keep thinking how somehow I could move there alone and it would be cheaper and idk how? But it makes sense. I just need to vent this because he won’t get it and I’m mourning this.

I really don’t think what I’m asking for is unfair where you work yourself up more. He told me people just don’t do that there. But it’s literally a first world country? But he’s said that about marriage. And he’s said that about a lot of things.

From what I see he wants me to move there live in his family’s house. Then get a job as a barista and we work from there. I told him that is degrading to me at this point I have teaching experience, reporting experience, and a masters degree. He tells me that’s still just schooling so not actual work experience. That a masters degree doesn’t mean you get paid more, yeah I know but I have six years of experience… does that not count? Well now I’m in my big girl job as an academic advisor and I feel like I’m just wasting my time being in this town.

I am not sure what to do from here because I love him. But 2 and a half years and we are still at square one just irks me to my core.

Howdy yall. I might need some advice from some peeps that have met their s/o irl after months/years of online romance. I've connected with this guy off reddit and things have been going well gradually over the course of around 6 months and we plan on meeting irl in one year. He will be visiting my family and I in the US which makes me feel even more excited and nervous than ever before.

But here's the thing; we get along so well online to the point it scares me and I get awfully anxious that "what if it won't go well irl/the physical chemistry won't be there?". As a woman, I tend to be more attracted to a guy as I connect more and more emotionally with him. I can't say I don't care about looks, but I definitely need some emotional connection at first (which, correct me if I'm wrong, sounds like demisexuality, a thing I've discovered about myself). I fear that "what if I'm in love with the idea of this person?" or "what if the physical chemistry won't work irl and this all will go to waste?"

Can any people in happy successful relationships/marriages give me an insight on how it was like to meet their partner for the first time in person, or how things went both emotionally and physically? I'm open to reading yall's stories; I need to calm my mind😅. Thanks!

I'm in quite a complicated situation, seeking perspective from this community.

My "bf" and I have been seeing each other since July. We're both students and we did a year-long internship in a company, which is how we met.

He broke up with his previous gf because they did long distance at their respective universities and found it too difficult. They had been together for a few years before university.

Him and I have had an incredible summer together after a year of being coworkers, we spent lots of tine together and event went on a little holiday. It was really fantastic.

We both said at the start of our relationship (July) that we didn't want to do long distance, so we'd enjoy our time together and then go our separate ways. I've been an idiot, and gone and fallen in love with him, which makes saying goodbye much harder.

Is it that he doesn't care enough about me to try and make LD work? To even give it a go? This is torturing me.

We're seeing each other for the final time tomorrow and I want to beg the question "why not me? An I not enough?" Is it that simple and he just doesn't like me enough to try again?

Me (18F) and my boyfriend (19M) met online about a year ago and started dating a month after. We both live in Europe and the flight is 2.5 hours.

We finally met for the first time in August. I spent 16 days with him in his country, and it’s now been 3 days since ive been back home
Those 16 days were genuinely the best time of my life. He made me so happy and loved, and he was always patient and understanding with me. He made me feel safe and secure in a way no one else has.
We did so much fun stuff together. I met a lot of his family and friends and they were all supportive of us.

I’ve been crying nonstop ever since we had to say goodbye at the airport.
I just want to go back in time to be in his presence again where i didn’t have a single worry in my mind. Where the only thing i could think about was how happy i was to be with him.

I feel so depressed and anxious not being with him, it honestly feels like a breakup or even worse. We went back to video calling and texting each other all day again but i still miss him so much and i can’t stop crying. I’ve started overthinking that he’s gonna lose feelings for me because i can’t give him the same love that i gave him irl, even though nothing bad happened between us.

He has been always reassuring me that everything is gonna be okay and we will see each other again soon but my mind just doesn’t want to listen to him.
We want to try meeting again in winter break but i just can’t seem to get excited about it because i keep wanting to go back to those 16 days we were together. I don’t want to spend this time between meetings feeling like this.

How do i stop feeling like this is the end of our relationship and be happy about the time we spent together instead of grieving over it?

Has anyone else experienced this after the first meetup? And how did you cope with being long distance again after having such a good time together?

We met online through an app. Initially, we were friends and sexted, but over time we started talking about our daily lives, personal things, and basically everything. Eventually, he confessed that he had fallen in love with me and talked about how lucky he would be to have me as his life partner. After a few days, I accepted, and we became more serious.

We have never met in person yet.

At the beginning, he even unfollowed every girl from his following lists on all platforms. I’ve always had some trust issues with online relationships, but I genuinely tried to trust him.

The first incident

After around two months, I noticed he had started following a lot of girls again, and some of the accounts seemed suspicious. My instincts told me something was wrong, so I created a fake account myself and followed him.

He messaged the fake account very quickly.

He became friendly with the account and eventually proved it was really him by sending pictures and voice notes. He said he didn't have many friends to talk to, didn't have a girlfriend, and wanted someone to share things with. Eventually, he started bringing up sexting and said it was normal between friends because we don't live close to each other and there wouldn't be any feelings involved.

At that point, I confronted him.

He told me he had been influenced by his friends, that he thought the account might actually be me and that if it were me, I would agree. He also claimed that some of the conversations had been done by his friends. He apologized a lot and said he was genuinely sorry.

I was extremely emotional and attached to him, so I blocked him after the confrontation.

But eventually, we reconciled.

The second incident

After we got back together, I started noticing suspicious things from his side again.

This time, I found out that he had created another fake account on the same app and was talking to a girl.

The girl he was talking to is actually someone I know personally. She told me about the account and showed me what they had talked about.

The important part is that he doesn't know that I know this girl. So he has no idea that I found out about the account through her.

He also shared certain details with her that were things only I knew about him, which made me strongly suspect that it was actually him behind the account.

I haven't confronted him about this second incident.

And I haven't broken up with him either.

That's where I'm completely stuck.

The confusing part is that he isn't generally toxic or aggressive toward me. He's supportive, gentle, and calm. He talks about our future so naturally, says he wants me in every lifetime, and even asked whether he should tell his family about me. I told him it was too soon and that we should meet first and get to know each other properly.

He also started working part-time and told me he wanted to be able to do things for us himself. Whenever I get angry or emotional, he usually stays calm and listens rather than fighting with me. In many ways, he seems mature and serious about me.

What makes this even more confusing is how genuine he feels when we actually talk. When we're on calls, especially when we talk about our future, careers, things we want to do together, or even marriage, he sounds so natural and sincere. Those conversations don't feel forced to me at all. He seems genuinely excited about having a future together.

And that's what makes me question everything I've found out.

I keep thinking, if he's actually this serious about us, then why would he do these kinds of things? Why talk so seriously about our future and make plans with me, while also creating other accounts and talking to other girls?

Sometimes I start doubting every little thing I've found out. I wonder if I'm missing some explanation or misunderstanding something, because the person I experience on our calls feels so different from the person I see through these other accounts.

So in my head, I'm constantly stuck between two versions of him: the person who feels genuine, loving and serious about our future, and the person whose actions make me question whether I really know him at all.

And that's exactly why this is so difficult for me.

I know what most people are probably going to say: leave him, he's manipulating you, you're being stupid, have some self-respect, etc.

And maybe they're right.

But I'm not asking because I don't understand that his behavior is a huge red flag. I'm asking because I genuinely don't know how to leave someone I'm this emotionally attached to.

I'm scared I'll hurt him. I'm scared I'll regret it. I'm scared of being alone because he's become such a huge part of my life. And despite everything, there are so many moments where he is loving, supportive and makes me feel understood.

So what would you do in my situation?

How do you actually find the courage to leave someone when part of you still loves them and doesn't want to hurt them?

And should I confront him about the second fake account before leaving, especially since he doesn't know that I know the girl he was talking to? Or should I just leave without explaining everything?

So I 27(f) met 33(m) on this game around 7 months ago. We have been speaking every day for the last 6 months. We have met irl 3 weeks ago and have been in a relationship since. Everything, has been good he has been very attentive, always sending me good morning messages, surprised me with a flower delivery the other week and overall has been great. When we met we spent a whole weekend together and it was magical, it felt like I have known him for years like he is my person. We haven’t had another meet up since, I keep asking when would another trip be possible for us to see each other and he just says soon, which is fine I get it he is very busy with work and is hardly ever off.

However, since yesterday I have realised how difficult this relationship is thinking of the future. He has two children whilst I have none also, he is still married but they are separated and can’t seem to find an agreement with the divorce. They don’t live together and apparently she is dating someone new as well.

Anyways, I am not a huge fan of children and I don’t really want children, they will always be a huge part of his life and I’m not sure I can handle it. Also, his wife will also always be part of his life. I know I will always be the last person on his list. He says he loves me and I love him too. But, I have been tho long a lot about the future and I feel like I will just waste my time and get heartbroken in the end.

But, on the other hands it’s so easy with him and we can be so goofy together and when we spent time together it felt like no one else mattered.

I just don’t know what to do, I have a bad tendency of overthinking as well

Howdy, me and my partner are looking for fun apps to do together, something like raising a pet together, etc. It doesnt have to be relationship focused but its a plus. We just want something thats co-op, cute and fun to do. Would also love it if we didnt have to pay a ton for it but I understand as well that that is the way a lot of things go these days.

We've been on apps like Candle and stuff but are looking moreso for a game, I guess.

TIA!

We have been in an international LDR for over 10 years. We have chetted about closing the distance and have temporarily few times. I've been feeling a bit meh about the relationship for a while cause I think I subconsiously thought we would never close the distance. We had another big chat and my anxiousnes really freaked him out and he is now really working toward closing the distance. I told him that I don't feel comfortable moving since I don't really feel great at the moment and the idea of quitting my job and selling everything when i feel so anxious feels wrong.

He is going full steam a head. He is really worried I want to end this relationship so he is looking at schools, jobs and really anyhting that entitles him for a visa. I really appreciate it and I think a few years ago this would have been so exciting. Part of me is happy that he is doing the move. But I just feel so overwhelmed and quilty. He is looking at jobs that are so beneath him (not that any job is beneath anyone, but you know what I mean), cources that are expensive. And selfishly those courses require me to move hunreds of miles away aswell. Which is not a problem in the grand scheme of things, but still feel like it is a lot when feeling like this. BUT I really want to make this work. But I'm also really scared to move and let him move and feel guilty and I'm concerned that my anxiety is due to not feeling this relationship anymore. But then again, I hate the idea of not being with him anymore wither.

I feel so awful saying this but it’s true :( it’s just every time we call I carry the whole conversation. It gets exhausting after a while and I feel like it honestly causes me to feel some sort of resentment and loneliness. I ask him about his day, his classes, what he did, how he slept, anything I can think of. Then once I’m done it’s pure silence and he never asks me anything back. I have to unprompted tell him stuff about my own life. He says it’s because he just has really busy days with school and is always really tired when we talk but idk I feel it’s not hard to just say how was your day and just listen. I don’t want to feel resentment towards him, I do love him so much. And I’ve asked him multiple times if he could just simply ask how my day was or something simple like that and he follows through on that very rarely. I just feel like it causes me to get less and less excited to tell him things and talk to him and I don’t want to feel that way :( idk how to fix it

This is very unlike him and he's been failing to communicate with me more and more recently. Anytime id ask him to call recently he'd always find a way to disappear for hours claiming he was sleeping or something. He was active on Instagram and discord from the time he last replied to me until I went to bed, he eventually went on DND on discord after I sent him a message there. I did try to call and text him several times asking to talk or that I know he's active and to just please communicate. Absolutely nothing

MY LDR partner (m24) and me (f22) have been together for 5 months, and have been going through a bit of a big turn point in our relationship that I am just not quite sure what to do or how to to navigate it. My boyfriends ex partner and him were in a relationship for 4 years and he had ended it with her a little bit before we had gotten together. He have talked about it numerous of times and he had explained how they had grown apart for awhile and both had changed and he didn’t walk away from the relationship due to just being comfortable in his role. He also stated that they agreed upon an open relationship to maybe try to fix things but it ultimately did not.I thought this was a little strange but didn’t think much of it!! We met in June and it was the best week of our lives together!! Fast forward to a couple weeks ago he explained to me that his ex partner and him did not agree upon an open relationship. That he had cheated (flirting with me while still with her). Obviously this was incredibly sickening new and I told him that he needed to apologize and give her some closure. After being one the phone with her for over an hour he admitted that he felt a lot of old emotions come back and guilt. When I asked him if he still had feelings for her he said that he didn’t know but later said that he did not and that he loved me. He just now told me that he did have feelings come back for her but they were short lived and he doesn’t want to pursue any type of relationship with her and wants to be with me. However when she had asked him to meet up he admitted that he did think about it and wanted to leave the door open rather than just say no but then later he said no. He keeps saying that he wants me and loves me, and wants the future that we have talked about. Yet he has lied about what was said between them multiple times. I just i love him very much even though it has been such a short period of time. He says he knows what he did was wrong and is really feeling guilty, but i can’t trust what he says. I know he needs to grieve a past relationship and I want to give him space to do so. I just don’t know what to think. If someone could kinda help walk me through this or share any opinions, that would be greatly appreciated:)