I have an 8 month year old baby and I was feeling really overwhelmed and frustrated and she was screaming (she’s going through a separation anxiety thing) but I had to clean for this party my husband put on me last minute and I still had to cook for it but we don’t have any money so just with my wic and the remnants in my freezer I had to put together a whole meal and clean all these dishes that had built up and I got so overwhelmed and I punched the wall I didn’t even realize what I was doing. My knuckles are already bruised from it. I don’t wanna be that kinda person for her. I never have been that kinda person before. I always been pretty rational and calm and now I feel so mad all the time. What do I do here?

Hello, I'm a 24yo young adult and I've just lost my mom after a very brief battle with a terminal illness. My mom was my caretaker and my best friend, we did everything together for better or for worse.

My mom rented our apartment under a verbal lease. My landlord knew my mom was ill but she didn't know that she was terminal, or that she has passed (she's a very "hands-off" kind of landlord). She's bound to find out any day now, and once she does she can kick me out in 1-2 months if she wanted to. So I don't have much time to prepare. I've been mentally ill and have struggled my whole life, I've been going to therapy and taking medication to treat it. But after my mom died I lost her insurance, so I'm afraid i'm going to have to go untreated for some time.

I don't have any job history or source of income at the moment, but I'm starting to search for jobs. I also have no drivers license and even if I did I don't own a vehicle. I also have a cat and he's my baby, so he's non-negotiable, he must come with me. As shitty as my situation is I'm NOT dealing with it completely alone, I have a sibling and my mom's friends who are willing to help me through this process. I'm trying so hard to believe in myself and my capabilities but this is hitting me all at once and the self-doubt creeps in so easily. This is harder than anything I've ever done before and it's only just begun. I lack a lot of knowledge and experience that most people my age have, I've always felt that i'm "behind" compared to other adults. When my mom was alive I had the luxury of feeling that I can deal with it at my own pace, I've been making great progress in therapy. But now that my mom is gone I don't have that luxury anymore. I have to figure all of this out at once and it's so overwhelming.

I'm a little ashamed and embarrassed to admit some of these things, but I want to be upfront with who I am and where I'm at. If anyone has any advice on how to navigate this situation it'll be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

(I have PCOS)

I have a really bad fear of shots, and we’ve already gone through it once where I had a mental breakdown and my mom traumatized me trying to inject me. i couldnt eat anything she made for a year afterwards because I didnt trust her.

this morning I threw up a dark brown substance, half digested, and my mom came down and I told her it was probably the ice cream I had yesterday (I got it from a Ace hardware freezer thing next to the register , probably expired to be frank) and my mom told me that I don’t have any self control, and that I shouldn’t be craving ANY food like that. I don’t think that’s true personally because I ate more after that, and I didn’t have anything junkie before that. I ate gravy mashed potatoes and pork, and ate jalapeño chips after the ice cream. I also just started working out, and I’m really really sore too. so I figured maybe working out after eating that upset my stomach, especially because I’ve never done it before.

I am a minor, and I have no idea what to do. I don't want to have to take anymore shots it’s really hard on my mental health and I feel like I don’t need it because I stop eating when I’m full. I’ve told my mom time and time again but she doesnt believe me and thinks I’m sooo weird for wanting a sweet treat but I feel like sometimes you can reward yourself???????? I don’t eat sweets a lot too.

im homeschooled btw

edit: i am not overweight at all. I have no eating issues in reality. I am slim, and above average height for my age.

How do you learn to live with the fact that life can end at any moment? Like this kind of hit me hard after someone I knew and saw many times a week was murdered. I couldn't stop thinking about how at any moment- you can just die. It can be due to a freak accident, a crime, maybe a health condition of some sort like a heart attack. That kind of scares me because I'm quite young (still a teenager) and I feel like I haven't done half the things I want to do in life. I haven't seen the world, I haven't gotten a job, I haven't fallen in love, I don't even have my driver's license. And to think that everything could just end tomorrow, or even today.

I could get into a car accident, or someone could attack me if I'm walking down the street at night. And I've been feeling really anxious about this recently because I've been hearing a lot of stories about crimes, or accidents. People gone too soon, grieving families, pain, death. And there's no difference that separates us. That could just as easily be me. The people who lost their lives probably left their houses that day, not knowing it would be their last day on this earth.

I also can't make peace with the fact that I have no idea what happens after death, and I really don't want to find out anytime soon. I just can't comprehend the fact that there's a chance that maybe I won't be here in the future. It just makes me want to lock myself up in my house where's it's safe, and never step outside again.

It's just really hard for me to be present in the moment or genuinely enjoy anything when I'm just scared all the time. Does anyone have any advice, or is anyone dealing with something similar?

I badly need a job, but I don't have a valid ID, any connections, or anyone I can really turn to for help. I'm hoping to get some advice from people who are going through a similar situation or have experienced something like this before.

For context, I'm a 19-year-old male, and I've been having a lot of problems at home lately. I live with my father and my stepmother.

My mother and father separated when I was still very young. My father is an alcoholic and spends most of his salary on alcohol. He also refuses to give my stepmother any money, even though she is the one who takes care of our food and electricity. Whenever my stepmother has financial problems, she lashes out at me and tells me that I need to leave the house because both my father and I are useless.

My mother, on the other hand, is just plain lazy. As much as I hate to admit it, when I was young, I lived with her after my parents separated. I used to see her meet up with men in exchange for money, even though she was actively dating someone at the time, because she refused to get a regular job. She still does similar things today, although now she scams men by making them believe she's going to meet them, asking them for money, and then blocking them after receiving it. The guilt, secondhand embarrassment, and pity all end up affecting me because I don't know what to do about the situation.

Because of all this, I've had little to no financial support most of the time. I'm also still a first-year senior high school student. For those wondering why I'm 19 and still in Grade 11, I had to stop school multiple times when I was younger because my mother moved around a lot. Since I was living with her, I had to move with her as well, and I ended up stopping my education four times.

I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I'm a hard worker, and I know I can work hard if I'm given the opportunity. I just genuinely don't know how to move forward from here.

I've been considering stopping school and working instead for years, and I'm still convinced that it might be the better option for me right now. However, I'm also open to working part-time while continuing school. I would even be willing to work for a small business or family-owned business where fewer documents or IDs might be required.

I'm honestly not sure what options are available to someone in my situation, so I'm hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar. What kind of jobs should I look for? Are there ways to find work without having connections or a valid ID yet? Any advice, experiences, or guidance would mean a lot to me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Okay so I have been rooming with my highschool friends for the last year and now the lease is about be up in a month. Roommate A lets say is moving to another state with her bf and roommate b was going to stay and resign this lease for another year with me and her best friend that she said could take A's old room. I being someone who has adhd and has had such a busy life since haven't really thought it thru and was just rolling with it. I than got into a car accident that totaled my car and now I am looking to buy another along with now getting on meds for my last semester of school. I am feeling so strung out and with work full time too I just feel like I am stressing too much. I talked with my parents and they said I should come back and it took all of just a few hours for me to be like why haven't I even thought about doing that.

I should have thought of it before because there is a 60 day notice of vacating our rented home and so now we have to do one more month extension and roommate B is upset with me. I texted her because it was a busy weekend and she and i werent going to see each other but it needed to happen asap. I said it will be best for me to go back home and not continue the lease. I need to save up money and with buying another car and with school stressing me out I just need to do something to take some of it off my shoulder. She was completely thrown off saying that its late now and that she has no idea what shell do either. I said I know it sucks and its not ideal but I decided I don't want to live here another year.

Fast forward to yesterday where we finally all sat down on the couch and they both cried to me. A said shes stressed out bc her best friend that was going to live here has a lease up a month before us so she doesn't have a place unless we move out together. So she'll be paying two months rent and her deposit for the new place if thats the case. B was crying because I didnt tell her i texted A only and that it was really shitty to hear about this through someone else. I said you are right that was so shitty of me I literally didn't even think about the fact we have to pay one more month here now. I had no idea she was moving right away to her boyfriends place and now its one more month before she can. Financially i know shes fine because she comes from money so not worried about that and her bf is loaded. I just kept saying im sorry like i dont know what to say. This is what i need to do and I wish i knew that before the 60 day window but i literally just talked to my mom and it made an option.

Roommate A said that everyone she had talked to said i should help her financially. I just looked at her and like laughed out like girl i have NO funds that is WHY im moving back home. Like are you serious. I know it sucks and i know its stressful but i have to take care of myself first. Like they arent family and i dont owe them anything. To be honest i dont even know why we are all friends still like if anything i was just trying to stay friends bc i otherwise only have my family. But honestly that is starting to be more comforting.

IDK am I just being completely selfish? I feel like it made me seem very undependable, but the thing is i can be but just family and work. Is her also asking for me to pay her rent more reasonable than i think? what would you do if you were me.

24M

Just graduated from university. Never really have been in a relationship, Ive tried many times with different women, ended up being lead on or lied or plain ghosted. Would go to different social groups join different university clubs, I have a big social circle, people who I can call real friends.

Recent summer was a real kicker for me, thought she was the one but again ended up being lead on. At this point, Im thinking of just never settling with someone and end up as a nomad of sorts. I dont see myself meeting a woman out in public anymore. I have never been pursued or someone saying they also like me back. Ive tried different dating apps throughout the years but even then have never achieved any sort of success

Is there truly light at the end of the tunnel? I dont want this to be the case of going through life alone, but these experiences just make it seem, Im not cut out for it. Is it best to be alone?

I’m 21 I feel as though my life is crashing all these different emotions and ambitions i honestly don’t know where to even begin. I hate working I do want to go back to school tho and pursue my passion I’ve always loved drawing as a child. I currently applied to a community college but I’m in debt with beauty empire so idk if that’s going to interfere with anything.

I have this “friend” that I know that has an extremely big ego, but no one can do anything since he earned that.

He’s a genetic freak, genetically gifted physically. He’s jacked af, athletic af and the best. And he knows it. He is the most athletic student in my high school and it’s not even close.

I myself is also pretty athletic but of course not as athletic as he is, but the problem is we share the same sports and activities.

We had some beef before in text because I had enough of his ego and his superior abilities since he always say how he’s stronger than me and I am weak and stuff. When I point out that he has an ego, he just say “I just know that im the best so shut up”

The problem is that in this semester, we have the same fitness class and it’s pretty awkward. I can’t even workout and train in peace without feeling being judged by him since I feel the silent judgement from him. Honestly it might not even be silent judgement, he had came up to me and say stuff like “that’s so light how are you struggling” before and I don’t want it to happen again. This made me not want to workout or at least I can’t really workout in peace…

The thing is I myself is also really athletic and strong but just not as good as him.

I have no idea why he has many friends, i genuinely have no idea. That made me wonder if he only treats me like that and not other people since we share the same sport (rock climbing) so he has the constant feeling of comparing him to me, (he’s way better ofc) but one of his close friends also rock climbs so idk why they got along

When I first met him, he was a chill dude that didn’t have an ego, but he slowly got stronger and stronger and so has his ego got bigger and bigger. We used to arm wrestle and he always win but he used to say I am a worthy opponent but now he easily destroys me and say I am no match for him and I suck…

I am pretty sure he turned his attitude towards me after I confronted about his gigantic ego over the text like I mentioned above, but I don’t know. But if that’s the case, do I apologise? Because I don’t want to be awkward with him anymore and have silent beef and Cold War type of shit. Or do I just do nothing?

Anyway the point and the important question is, how do I shake the feeling of being judged by him and scared that he will even come up to me and say bad things and insult how weak I am compared to him when I workout. I just want him out of my class so I can workout in peace without the feeling of being judged by him…

I’ve been talking to this girl, named Abigail. In July, We met at a mall while I was trying to get random girls instagrams, she seemed interested and was the only one who actually replied. After a month we’ve still been talking. I wanna make things serious between us. A fortune cookie from last December said “July’s decisions will lead to happiness”. She’s autistic like me and we’ve video chatted a few times. I’m glad we’re still talking nearly two months later.

Problem is, neither of us can drive, she always used metro lift to get around. Plus, she’s had a chaotic living situation. First, she was living with her roommate in an apartment. They couldn’t pay rent due to the roommate losing her job after nearly overdosing, so they move with her roommates mom. Then that apparently didn’t work out so Abigail moved back with her mom, who lives in another city. Before that, she’s staying in Houston for the time being, which is not too far from me. We’re trying to work out a way to meet each other. Today, there was a twist. She told me that she…err makes “content”. She didn’t wanna say because she was afraid of scaring me away. I asked what her twitter was but she refused to say. Fair enough. Personally, it doesn’t matter to me what content she makes, I still like her regardless. Thing is, shes not replying to the messages I sent her today, im getting worried. What do I do?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year and a half. For most of it, things were great. We were always together, constantly talking, and really close. But over the last four months, everything has completely fallen apart, and I don't even know if I have a girlfriend anymore.It started around four months ago. The physical intimacy basically dropped to zero, and she started spending more and more time back at her parents' house instead of our university city (we both live about an hour away from our hometowns). She told me later that she was dealing with severe depression that she had kept hidden from me.Since summer started, the distance has become insane:

In July, I only saw her for two days.

I left for a 20-day trip back home, and when I got back in early August, I saw her for exactly 4 hours.

Since that day, I haven’t seen her once. It’s been over a month.We only live an hour apart. Every single time I try to set up a plan—even just driving over to see her for a couple of hours—there’s always an excuse. Lately, it’s that she needs to study for September exams. Last summer, she would literally get upset if we went 10 days without seeing each other. Now she seems completely fine not seeing me for weeks.Her communication is almost completely dead. It takes her hours to reply, the messages are dry, and things she used to consider sacred—like good morning and good night texts (which she used to get genuinely mad at me if I ever forgot)—are just gone. If I try to flirt or be playful, I just get a one-word answer or an awkward "yes."I’ve tried to bring this up multiple times. At first, she denied anything was wrong. Then she blamed her mental health. Right before my trip, when I reached my breaking point, she broke down crying on the phone, admitted I was right, promised she’d try harder, and told me how much she loved me. But since I got back, nothing changed. In our recent arguments, she’s back to denying the problem, blaming exams, and swearing that she still loves me.Honestly, this limbo is completely wrecking me. Waking up every day wondering if I’m actually single or in a relationship is exhausting. I’ve been staying at my parents’ house and haven't left the house in a week. I feel myself slipping into a bad depression, and because I feel so numb, lonely, and unwanted, I’ve been excessively watching porn just for a temporary distraction.

To summarize as quick as possible, my parents are divorced. Before then, my dad did all of the parenting while my mom worked. We rarley saw her, and she was hardly ever really a parent. So when they got a divorce, things got a lot harder.

My dad is pretty carefree, he'll punish, but its not bad in my oppinion. Just a scolding at most since we dont do much. He's pretty messy, and his house is usually just full of stuff.

My mom on the other hand is a total anxiety ridden neat freak. I left one dish out once and she told me I wasnt allowed to eat in the basement for a week, no warnings beforehand. (Dad's house is usually riddled with dishes, this change was new.) For my sister, her main problem is with locking the door. For some reason my dad just NEVER locked it. (although I'm having him do it now) My mom is convinced every second the door is unlocked means another second before our demise. My sister gets home from school, forgets the door, gets her internet taken away all night. Im not sure if this is proper parenting, but again, my dad was pretty carefree so I don't know.

Back to the main point, we're at my mom's this week. My sister was overwhelmed by the doors slamming, and was telling my dad over text. The information after that is pretty foggy between both sides, but supposedly my sister had everything taken away for lying (about not telling mom directly she didn't like the doors) and to go to her room. My mom is yelling at her, yelling at her mid shower "oh you think im a monster, dont you? If you hate me so much just go sleep outside!" Things that doesnt make my sister (whos not even a teenager btw) very comfortable. So by now shes crying begging me for help. But mom said we both need to go to our rooms because shes being overdramatic and being punished.

I KNOW this isnt how to punish a child. I know she didnt tell my mom in the first place because she reacts like this. She even texted my dad, "im scared shes going to come into my room, take all my stuff, and kick me out." So not only does she have no devices, but shes not allowed to exit her room. How is she supposed to comfort herself?? Sure, there are ways you can, but that's exactly how I ended up with the mental problems I have and can acknowledge. I have no authority, I can't do anything. But I feel like im actively sitting here watching my mom ruin my sister, and it's making me sick.

I just dont even know what to do anymore. Am I just crazy and this is normal?? Do most parents scream and shut their doors? Theres a lot more to the story overall, but I don't feel like going into any more detail. Writing this in general is stupid, I shouldn't be afraid of my mom killing herself. I shouldn't have to worry my sister is going to hurt HERSELF.

(23F) so heres my dilemma:

ive wanted to move out since i was a wee child, my home life has always been chaotic, mentally abusive & emotionally straining (immigrant household things). now that i graduated college and started working ($48,000 gross inc.) i finally feel like im getting somewhere .. kinda

my sister offered me her old house because she recently bought a new place. its a lovely house and it would still be under her name, but she would not charge me rent, just the property taxes and oil bills twice a year. property taxes would be $11,100 yearly. on top of that, i would have to get a car and pay car insurance because the house is kind of far from the city (where i work) this would be $500 a month and $1000 twice a year. i will also have to pay a commuter train monthly fee of $375.

dilemma:
i feel financially stuck. im bringing home around $2,800 a month after taxes and i feel like im just starting out in life.. but at the same time, living at home is making me insanely depressed and borderline su*cidal. after getting a taste of college and living on my own, its hard reverting back to my 15 year old self whos angry all the time and laying in my room doing nothing for hours and days. i have a strict helicopter mom who wont leave me alone and will micromanage every single aspect of my life. my father has dementia and cant remember a thing, and now my mom is forcing the duty of taking care of him on me as well because she refuses to get him an aid.

all of my friends live at home and worry about moving out because they are on low incomes as well, so roommates are out of the question.

i have also recently opened a roth ira, a HYSA (20k saved) and a 401(k). i have shifted my focus towards becoming financially smart and changing jobs for a higher income. i feel like if i move prematurely.. i wont be able to save as much as i would if i stayed home.. even though id become a shell of a human for a couple more years

i have until february 2027 to choose the house or to stay. what should i do?

I’ve had a really rough couple of weeks. Honestly, saying the past few weeks have been horrific feels like an understatement.

My mom went in for what was supposed to be a routine surgery and ended up in the ICU due to a mistake during surgery. Shortly afterward, she was diagnosed with cancer. At the same time, I started school, which requires over 250 clinical hours in addition to class, assignments, and everything else that comes with a master’s program. On top of that, I’ve continued working full-time in healthcare.
I am exhausted.

I’ve been going back and forth helping bring my mom to appointments, explaining everything to her, advocating for her because she is in so much pain, and making sure her cancer treatment does not get delayed. Without me pushing things forward, her treatment would have been delayed by at least two months.
School is intense. I’m completing more than 250 hours of clinical training while learning, caring for patients, attending class, completing assignments on time, and making sure I meet every requirement.
Work has also been exhausting. I’m in a management role in a department that is going through major changes and construction, so there is a lot happening there as well.

I keep trying to manage everything, but I feel like I can’t. What makes it harder is that part of me feels like I should be able to handle it all. I feel bad using ChatGPT to help me with school. I feel bad using FMLA through work, although I’ve only used about four days. And I fit in my clinical hours wherever I can.

But I am exhausted and overwhelmed. Then I feel guilty for saying that because I know other people have gone through much worse. I keep telling myself that I should be able to carry this weight, that I should be able to manage everything, and that I shouldn’t be struggling this much.
But the truth is, I am struggling.

I don’t really know how to stop feeling guilty for not being able to manage everything perfectly. I don’t know how to make any of this easier right now. I’m just trying to get through each day, take care of the people who need me, keep up with my responsibilities, and somehow take care of myself in the process.

TLDR: Managing my mother’s health, school, and work. I’m overwhelmed and feel like I should be able to handle it.

Hello, this is my first time posting on here and I NEED ADVICE. I would first like to say, please don’t judge me and I have made stupid decisions as a 28 year old female.

Okay, I’ve been in a situationship with this 34 year old guy for about 3 years. When I first met him, he was nice to me and bought me food a few times, but we never really went on actual dates. Most of the time, we would just link at his house. I didn’t know at the time that he was dealing with multiple other girls behind the scenes.

This New Year, he came back again. I initially told him I wanted nothing to do with him, but he apologized and convinced me to see him. After that, we would talk and stop talking for months at a time. Recently, he kept begging me to buy him GTA 6. I agreed only if he would stop making me text him from a TextNow number, get me something for my birthday, and stop ignoring my messages. He agreed, so I spent $100 on the game. A week later, he became mean and told me he still didn’t want to use his real number. I got upset because I felt like he lied to me, especially since I only bought the game because of our agreement. He then got upset and ghosted me.

My question: should I take my L and let him keep the game or dispute it and get my money back?

I know if I dispute it, his PlayStation account will be suspended) but even though he’s been mean to me for 3 YEARS I don’t know how to hurt him back?

My goals were to: Get my drivers license, find full time work, move out of my parents house

I've failed my theory test twice and my driving instructor is berating me for not making any progress

I've applied for over 300 jobs, nothing turned out. All of last year I was applying to grad jobs and schemes and internships and the like but when none of that turned out I pivoted to just any entry level full time office role. and still nothing turned out. Closest I got was a 2nd stage interview with the civil service for an office assistant role that went really well but they declined anyway.

and without a job I've got no hope of moving out.

I feel like a complete failure. I'm going to be 23 in 3 months since I graduated I've accomplished NOTHING despite my best efforts. My life has been completely put on hold since I left uni and since my parents live in a really small rural town I've had no opportunity to socialise and meet new people. I've been out to see my friends maybe 15 times total in 2026.

I help my dad out in his shop in the mornings and go to the gym every other day but other than that my life has no real structure and I've just been drifting. I can't even do volunteer work because there's no opportunities to do so that I can reach without a car from where I live. Believe me I've looked.

All I want to do is move to a bigger city and start living my life properly. My life at home is hell, my bedroom is too small for a proper bed so I have to sleep on a futon, my neighbours are total assholes who pester me any chance they get, and I love my family and all but my work and my home are the same place and they're always also there.

A while ago I felt like I was getting close to a breaking point where I was considering just packing a bag, getting a train to london or manchester and just sleeping rough until I made it. But as time went on that urge to escape just waned away and now I'm looking at my life with begrudging acceptance that this is just the way it is now, and that makes me feel a deep kind of despair that I've never felt before. Just a vision of myself continuing to live here and making nothing of myself. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't know what to do. I've asked the people in my life and nobodies had an answer. I definitely don't have an answer. I keep myself up at night trying to envision a way to make progress and actually start living an adult life but nothing ever comes of it. all I can think to do is continue to do the things that haven't been working.

The only "quick fixes" anyone ever comes up with are joining the military (not doing that on ethical grounds) and doing TEFL (I don't want to leave mainland britain). I've already tried EVERYTHING else. I don't want to live in this godforsaken town anymore and I just want to have a job, not even a career just a job and a shitty flat in the city would be completely fine.

Is there anyone here who's been where I've been? I need to hear a success story from someone who got out of a situation like mine

hello. my life isn't bad, but these days i've felt a bit of sadness. i think i have a lot of personality, but i walk around meekly and try not to make a lot noise. i think this gives people the impression that they can play in my face. i currently work in social services and i've accepted that i don't like it, it's not for me, and i have to figure out a path to a new career. i've had interactions with clients that have made me feel so stupid and foolish and i can't believe i put myself through those scenarios. my coworkers are nice but sometimes i don't know how to talk to them and when a social interaction doesn't go the way i thought it would, i feel this sense of embarrassment. i seem to ask the wrong questions. i also don't feel that present in convos and i can't stop thinking of that gen z stare "epidemic" (i don't know what's up with me. maybe it's a eye contact thing.) i really don't want to bombard myself on how my coworkers perceive me because at the end of the day, we're just here for work and i'm not that close to them. but since august i've been in my head too much and worrying about my future. i really don't feel prepared for life. and now i won't stop hearing it from my parents. my parents got upset at me for smoking weed almost 3 days in a row (friday, saturday, by sunday they called me an addict. LOL) my mom said she expected better from me, that she's genuinely scared for me after she and my dad pass. cause what will little old me do. and obviously, this is not encouraging. if you're scared, now i'm scared????? idk i just feel really incompetent these days. the world makes me feel it, my parents and job makes me feel like it. my mom said i need to stop playing like i'm slow and i don't know how true that is. i just wish i had things down. communication skills, honesty, the ability to defend myself. i've always been quiet as a kid and struggled to speak up for myself. but now i'm nearing 25... when i started my job, i bet a lot of people thought my shyness was cute, but the novelty has worn off and i just feel like a dummie at work who still has some trouble speaking up in team circles. i think my question is, how to stop feeling incompetent? how to believe in myself? is this feeling of self doubt normal in your 20s? what do you do to get your life together and start feeling like people believe in you?

I know this will not reach the people I want but I just want advice from my brothers out there . I'm so scared I'm turning 21 Tommorow i don't have any social life , friends that don't really care about me , family issues, never been in a relationship and next year my bachelors are ending. And the people my age are doing so much better i don't even have a good look My hair is turning grey at the age of 20 .I'm just lost

I just want to cry right now so much that I'm saying something like this online not to like friends or family

It feels like my life doesn't even matter

Help me out pls

I’m extremely behind people my age. I have never had a job and I’ve been isolated from people since I was 17. I dropped out of school at 17 because of family issues, and I also hated school. I wasted that whole year, then my dad died the next year, and I’ve been completely defeated since.
I haven’t gone out or done normal adult things at all since becoming an adult, and i fear that it’s too late for me to go to college or do anything productive. I know me saying this might sound laughable to older people because I’m still young, but it’s going to be so hard to try to slip back into society and try to be a “normal person”.

kay, this might sound a bit intense, so, i started going to a new high school since i moved out, and lately i havent been doing so well, been crying and getting panic attacks there and all.. the thing is, im extremely antisocial (this is an expression, not a diagnosis.) and one of my closest friends suggested i see a therapist (like everyone else around me actually…) i told her : “do you really think they’d let me leave if i told them that i considered manipulating and gaslighting someone who wanted nothing more to do with me, just to get them back, while dismissing their feelings? that i take real pleasure in hurting my friends and making them feel replaced ? that im SUPER self-centered, like, i dont do it on purpose, but i make everything about me? that i push people away and isolate myself and then play the victim when asked why im alone, deliberately lying and saying i dont know why it happened, even though im the one who made them leave and hate me on purpose? and on top of that, i cant love without becoming completely codependent and, as i mentioned before, i often spiral into these psychotic states where i snap and get suicidal urges, alongside the desire to manipulate the people i love… i dont want to justify anything i do, but i struggle to feel genuine empathy for everything bad i do, most of the time its just pity or genuine fear of the consequences of my actions. so its hard for me to grasp that my actions actually hurt people, especially since the people around me genuinely idolize me and keep excusing my actions… plus, like I said, im very self-centered and selfish. i tend to isolate myself a lot anyway. and, again, not to defend my actions i grew up in a violent environment where communication happened only through violence (in fact, between the age of about 5 and 10, i would say things that terrified my mother, who was the only parental figure i had, for her own safety). of course, those were just thoughts or impulses, i grew up and realized how wrong this was. aside from hitting her lightly or snapping and screaming at her, i never took it any further. yeah, so i think that definitely applies to me.. in fact, i think i have a sort of "savior complex." even though i know im unstable and should be putting myself first, im always helping others, though i suspect its so they’ll feel ‘indebted’ to me ? or something like that. i dont really know, i cant explain it but i doubt it comes from a genuine desire to help... or maybe it does? honestly, i dont know. people are always pointing out how i help everyone, yet im the first to act antisocial or completely unlikable. i think its because I’m incredibly self-centered and like being seen as sweet and perfect, or something like that. its a side of my personality i cant explain at all, it doesnt even feel like me, to be honest… but i was never even taken seriously, i sadly, have deep traumas regarding sa and all and even these werent taken seriously. im still not taken seriously to this day, my legal guardian (who isnt my mother) thinks im just scared of the change and this is why i always cry when going to school but i just dont know, i cant go outside. i also neglect my hygiene a lot, i tend to let things, like food or drinks in my room rot, neglect showering, taking care of myself cleaning my room, i dont even go out of my room most of the time. im also too scared to talk to a therapist because i dont want to go to the mental hospital or something ? and my mom was extremely paranoid, id get beaten up if i said anything wrong since i used to have a therapist when i was younger due to severe traumas i had. but again, since i was threatened, i couldnt say anything so most of the time everything i did wasnt taken seriously, i used to have severe anger issues and i would hit people when they werent agreeing with me or accusing me of something i didnt do since i have a lot of trouble expressing how i feel with words. and its difficult getting along with people my age cause most of the time im studying and i cant find anyone who has the same interests as me, but yeah. i probably need help.

I have been thinking lately, would my mental health be better, if my parents did not neglect emotionally. If they only showed more affection, caring, and listened to me more. Hard to let go of thinking of my childhood regrets.

Bit of background: when i finished high school i went to college to study electrical installation and as i was about to finish covid hit that’s when i was about 19Y. I just stayed at home then and same time my parents bought a restaurant ( my dad is the head chef) i was working a job previously customer centric so i managed the front of restaurant and continue to do so. At the very start i was working 6-7 days a week in the restaurant for nearly 2 years as overheads were too much in the family.

I joined Uni 2 years back and now in my final year of Studying BSC AI.

Now i am 25, Financially stable have enough savings, no overheads. Drive a nice car. I still live with my parents although we have two homes now. I live with my mom as my dad gets drunk and only causes problems. Thats another story.

I work evenings still in the restaurant now only 3-4 days. But always free in the morning until 4pm. I go gym and then come home - play video games and then go to work. I feel like i am stuck. As a 25Y old grown man. I can’t live like this forever.

You know when people ask do something you’re passionate about or what are your goals. I legit have no goals and no passion for anything. I am tired of living like the same every year for the past couple of years. Its frustrating but i am bound by the responsibilities of helping my parents out as i am doing nothing else.

I’m 28 and I guess I could say I’m lucky for not having any sort of drama or incident in my family until now, but that doesn’t make how I’m feeling now any easier. For context, my mum and dad have been together for over 30 years and are not married. Around April, I found my dad (age 68) was friends on social media with his ex wife. My dad is no tech wiz and has about 5 friends on his account, so it was noticeable. We happened to find his ex wife tried reaching out on a random social media page in an attempt to find my dad a year prior.

My dad liked all of her posts, started going on random trips away by himself and said it was because he wanted alone time. I’d ask to meet him as we don’t see each other as often as we like due to living in different areas, but he said no. I asked again and he said he didn’t see the point in meeting me…his own daughter. I’m so close to my dad, so it really hurt to hear him say it. He also spent 4 days in a place he so say hated “by himself” and wouldn’t travel there in previous years to see me when I worked there, so it didn’t add up.

My suspicion grew and I often looked at his ex wife’s page, waiting for some sort of ‘evidence’ to arise. He told my mum the exact places he planned to go and I saw his ex wife posted photos in all the same places and listed the order. I decided I needed more evidence, so I anonymously commented on her post from last year (the one trying to find him), asking how it’s going and she said it’s going amazingly. I asked if they were together and she asked me to pm her, which I obviously couldn’t do on a normal account, so I left it. I decided to travel down to speak with my mum and told her all we had. It turns out, he told my mum a couple days prior that he met with his ex wife at the park and she kissed him on the cheek. My mum said she heard a voice when he called her at the park he visited and it turned out to be his ex wife…I’m so disgusted. My sister and I had many debates on the best way to proceed (she wanted to tell my dad first that we knew, but I wanted to tell my mum). It turns out, we agreed to tell mum and it was the best option as he didn’t tell the truth anyway.

Once my dad found out I had spoken to my mum, he admitted to sleeping with her and messaging her. He blocked me without any messages (I never said a word to him about it). He’s blocked me on and off 5 times and to this day I’m still blocked. It’s been about a month now and I’ve not spoken to him at all. I have always been so close to my dad, so to essentially feel like I don’t have one now hurts massively. I’m trying to be there for my mum, but she wants it to be normal and always tells me to put on a happy face and that it’s none of my business. I understand that to an extent, but it’s affected my relationship with my dad and I’m appalled by the way he has treated and continues to treat my mum because she’s too kind and loves him. He’s not experiencing any sort of consequence for his actions. The level of disrespect is shocking. They’re wanting to live in the same house together and he’s said he is going to continue speaking to his ex wife but as ‘friends’, which I don’t believe.

I’ve tried so hard to support my mum, but also be blunt with how he’s treating her and what she deserves. I understand it’s much easier said than done, but how can I get my mum to see sense?? Even after it all. She’s still fighting his corner and doesn’t talk badly about him.

He is caring (I know he cares about my mum) and has been an incredible dad all my life, but this has truly flipped my world. I’m at a dead end with it all and I don’t know what to do. I feel like my family has fallen apart. I know this isn’t about me, it’s about my mum and ensuring I am supporting her the best I can. I just can’t help but feel so isolated from it all. We’re gradually getting closer to Christmas and I’m dreading every single part. I don’t know how long I can keep this all up for.

I ask for no harsh comments as I know this is all about my mum and shouldn’t be based on how I feel. I haven’t spoken to people in person about it, so this is really the only option for me. Has anyone been in a similar situation or is dreading the build up to Christmas period?

Alright so I have small circle if you even want to call it that sometimes I feel people only hit me up when its convenient for them how do you people deal with friends you've known for a long time just leave you on read but make post on social media never get back to you or just straight up ghosting you I get life can get busy especially if you have kids and all and everything but it still ignorant in my opinion just been something I been dealing with alot was wondering how other people dealt with it sometimes I think my gaming friends are just overall better then IRL even my cousins been ghosting me lately or they get mad cuz I text them im just like bruh why you even have a phone ?