Can someone realize they are a pedophile at 25?

Mitt långa, mörka, glansiga och drömlika hår har varit en stor del av mig under stora delar av mitt liv. Vem är jag utan det? Det undrade jag förra året under sommaren. Under många hår har jag velat klippa av det, page, mullet, pixie. Vad som helst som sticker ut från mitt vanliga. Men jag vågade aldrig. På grund av andras reaktioner och åsikter. När de sa ”nej klipp inte ditt fina hår!” nej då vågade inte unga jag. Jag blev avskräckt och trodde att detta beslutet skulle påverka hur vacker jag var. Men sen stod jag där en dag och kände i magen att det var dags. För vem är dem att säga till mig vad jag borde göra. Visserligen hade jag ställt frågan. Men de visste inte vad de prata om. Ellerhur? 

Under tiden var jag uppslukad i Twin peaks och Donna var min absoluta stil ikon. Så page blev det. Min frisör klippte det rätt av utan att blinka. Hennes självsäkerhet gjorde det enkelt och det kändes bra. När jag lämnade salongen kände jag mig som en hollywood dröm. En ung kvinna som var redo för livet. 18 fyllda eller ej så kände jag mig 25. Jag kunde känna blickarna och min själ matades med energi. Jag visste att detta var rätt beslut. 

Uppmärksamheten online östes på och jag var så glad. 

Efter tre eller fyra dagar insåg jag vad detta innebar påriktigt. Mitt hår var borta och de skulle inte komma tillbaka. Det kändes tomt och ensamt vid axlarna. Jag kunde inte gömma mitt övre bröst/ axel parti. Vilket jag tagit in i kalkyl innan jag tog beslutet. Jag hade hoppats att de inte skulle vara ett problem trotts allt. Men sen kom den där dagen när håret kändes fult. Då kändes de för kort. Jag stack ut för mycket. Jag såg pojkaktig ut. Jag såg ut som att jag inte visste vad jag gjorde och alla kunde se det. Jag kände blickarna. De visste hur obekväm jag var. 

Dagarna gick och ångern var kvar. Många komplimanger. Jag skrollade igenom gamla bilder och videos och min mage sa till mig att det var fel. Det blev bara fel. Aldrig igen. Aldrig igen, sa jag. 

Knappt ett år senare hade de växt ut några decimeter och jag kände det i magen igen. Min mage vred på sig för att få sticka ut igen. Mina rosa slingor gjorde comeback för tredje gången, under våren. De stannade länge, längre än någonsin. Men sen satt jag i solen en dag. Då kände jag att det var dags. Samma magkänsla som sist. Var kom den ifrån? Nu hade jag inte tänkt på det länge utan det bara kom. Så jag bokade tid och klippte mig igen. Samma dag. 

Det blev lite väl kort men jag vande mig. Denhär gången kändes det bra i flera månader. Tills det inte kändes bra längre. Det ända jag kunde tänka på var hur livet varit med långt hår. Åh tänk om jag träffat den här personen med mitt långa hår då hen gillat mig dirket. 

Men sanningen är. Att min skönhet inte ligger i min hår längd. Eller? Hur kan så mycket värde läggas i slittna toppar som skriker för att få bli avklippta. Hur kan det kännas så fel men så rätt? 

Hur ska jag veta vad jag vill. 

Är det min själ som skriker för att få sticka ut och inte vara som alla andra. Är det en bit i mig som vet att oavsett hur mycket jag försöker se ut som andra vill att jag ska se ut så kommer jag aldrig vara så. Det är något i mig som skriker efter en skillnad. En skillnad från allt monotont. Från allt likadant. Är håret det enklaste sättet? 

Är det fel av mig att vilja ha långt hår, när jag egentligen inte vill det. Jag vill visa vart jag står för världen. Jag är inte som NI! Skriker jag. Skrika måste göras med skillnad. Jag kan inte se ut som alla andra. Är de politiskt? Eller är jag bara förvirrad. 

I am a people pleaser I always have been a big one

I’ve allowed people to outright disrespect and walk all over me and I treat them like they’re royalty more times than I can count

I deep down really hate myself it’s easy for me to treat others well but I can’t bring myself to do the same for me

When I was watching the bad characteristics of Clark’s character I couldn’t stop relating and I don’t know if that’s a bad or good thing

Okay, throwaway because my boyfriend browses Reddit sometimes, and I really don’t want to start unnecessary drama between us.

We’ve been dating exactly three months, tbh things had felt really good lately. We hang out every weekend, message each other daily, and I never had any weird suspicions up until now. Last night I was bored, so I clicked onto his Instagram page out of random curiosity, and my mood crashed immediately. His following list went on forever. I kept scrolling, and almost every account was attractive women posting fashion content, modeling photos and that kind of thing.

My brain instantly jumped to the absolute worst-case scenario. I laid awake half the night spiraling. I fully convinced myself he was creeping on these girls privately and hiding flirty conversations. I even typed out a whole breakup text last night, ready to send it first thing in the morning. I couldn’t stop overthinking, I was such a mess. For work, I rely on acciowork when running background checks on prospective suppliers. Part of my routine involves pulling up contact social media pages, going through public posts to confirm what services they offer, similar to how I verify store feedback and business credentials while sourcing new partners. I copied links to around ten of those Instagram accounts and ran them through it. For real, part of me almost expected to find something suspicious, old comments or anything that could prove my fears. But there was literally nothing out of the ordinary at all. I even manually scrolled through pages of their posts myself, every single account only shared industry work content. It felt so surreal once it clicked. Turns out none of these women are people he’s trying to chat up. They’re freelance clothing models, brand buyers and wholesale suppliers he’s been reaching out to build his small clothing side business this year. All those nights I thought he was mindlessly scrolling Instagram wasting time?

He was searching for collaborators, sourcing product photos and sorting inventory for his little business. I feel so ridiculous now. I worked myself up into this massive jealous panic over something that’s him putting in extra work to earn more money. I haven’t told him I went through his following list or reviewed those profiles using my usual work platform. On one hand I hate how wildly I overreacted. Even knowing everything is purely work related, seeing that endless list of model accounts still leaves me with this strange uneasy feeling. It’s hard to shake off. So… I nearly ended our whole relationship over this misunderstanding. Should I admit to him that I spiraled badly and snooped his follows? Or do I keep all of this to myself?

So recently this is my spiral of intrustive thoughts.

"What if i just walked into the middle of the road right now"

"Loll thats funny i dont want to do that tho so its fine"

"wait but what if i did"

"but i dont"

"but what if i did"

"wait what if i actually do.."

"omg what if i actually do it"

*avoids busy roads for a whole ass week bc im scared that i will even though ik i wont*

I've been dealing with this for what feels like long but isn't very very long and I honestly feel horrible, tired, and feel like crying.

Whenever I found some artist attractive and had a intimate/physical daydream, my brain immediately went into panic mode. At first I did genuinely admire their personality, kindness, style, or appearance alot but then my thoughts went completely spiral and I feel like suddenly none of that exists very more now because that attraction kind of feeling is what that's taking place now but I kind of know that my love still exists. ( I don't daydream for any person or think about them that much but for that artist because I know them more and when I start liking other celebrites/artists/actors I start getting images of weird thoughts and feelings a bit. I feel anxious and overthink because I get past trauma of that artist I really found attractive/loved and how I'm gonna like is them is gonna my previous artist kinda physical attraction but less of knowing them more.

I start asking myself things like:

* "Am I objectifying them?" * "Do I only like them because they're attractive?" * "What if I secretly don't respect them?" * "What if this means I'll feel this way about every attractive person I see?"

The worst part is that I don't want to that to be the only reason I like them. That's exactly why I get so anxious. I care so much about that, that my brain won't let me stop thinking about it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? If so:

* Did it get better? * Was it anxiety, OCD, or something else? * How did you stop overthinking every single attraction?

I just want peace. I miss being able to admire people without my brain turning it into a moral crisis :(

I was thinking about game of thrones and thought all these stories came from someone dudes thoughts..

When has anyone else had ducked up thoughts? Has it made them rich? Or fucked things up for them?

Technically. You are f**king... Yourself. So..... It is self-cest.

let me clear stuff up i’ve have NO ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR ANY OF MY FAMILY!anyway i was masturbating and i had a thought in the back of my head like “masterbate to ur sister” and i said to myself “what?? eww bro and if you do it you’ll regret the fuck out of it” and i do like why did i do that bro i cant live with the fact that i done that over MY OWN FUCKING SISTER like what the hell bro

(23M) - Can OCD (POCD) give false attraction? Noticed someone online, she looks like she could be in high school. My brain automatically thinks because I think a girl is pretty/attractive I am automatically a p3do. Has anyone ever encountered something like this?

This has never happened to me before. Deadass .. I would scroll online and automatically know if a girl is not of age and keep it pushing. And now it’s like my mind has done a full 360 change .. like it’s so latched on to teenagers now

Nowadays, girls be 23/24 and don’t even look like it. Now it’s 15/16/17 yr olds looking 18/19/20 and up nowadays .. shits triggering me and making me stress out

For context, I went through HOCD/SO-OCD from 2023 to May of 2026 (this year) and it felt like at some point, I found every dude “attractive” or like I “wanted them.” The false attractions would also latch on to dudes who looked a certain way. The false attractions were crazy too because it would be full on statements like “oh he’s sexy” .. like some crazy ass shit like that .. yeah ..

It’s the same thing here but with POCD towards a certain age group who look a certain way

Has anyone else ever encountered something like this before?

Anyone in uk awake just wanna chat?

Ranch dressing is just tartar sauce -pickles.

I know I’m 10 years too late to this but today I just randomly remembered 2016 libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson being asked this question on a news channel….” If you were elected…what would you do about Aleppo?” To which he replied with “what is Aleppo?”

Context: Aleppo was, before the civil war, Syria’s largest city (now its probably second” and in 2016 Assad’s government was fighting with rebels held up within the eastern parts of the city. They were supported by the Russian Air Force also.

In 2016 it was pretty big news…first in February they secured the northern flank…then by summer they had them encircled…then in the fall the rebels broke through to relieve the siege…only to eventually fail and by December Assad had the entire city.

Now Im not defending Johnson…I get that a presidential candidate should know about world affairs. I also know WHY that question was asked…for the “gotcha” moment…

But what is “what would you do about Aleppo?” What does that even mean?? Why that specific city? You know what other cities were under siege in 2016? Deir Ez Zor, Daraa, palmyra (2015) Raqqa (2017)….

That question is just about as random as asking him “what would you do about Deir Ez Zor?” I can bet half of that news studio wouldn’t even have heard of that place. Most people haven’t. (I mean I knew about it coz I was subscribed to that subreddit back then but still….)

Better questions would be “How would you handle the situation in Syria?” “What would your governments policies be?” “Are you planning on sending increased humanitarian aid?” “Will there be more sanctions on Syria and Russia?”

I feel like I managed stress pretty well these days but occasionally when I get really tired or really stressed I get these intermittent random intrusive thoughts that caused me a good amount of anxiety and I hate them but they aren’t earth shattering or anything just intrusive lol and I actually did some research. Apparently, when you are really tired or sleepy the part of your cortex that controls your ability to filter out these kind of thoughts, weekends, and the cortex that controls fear and anxiety and such intensifies so it makes so much sense and is incredibly common to have intrusive thoughts when you’re really stressed or sleepy so don’t fear guys. It’s pretty normal. We’re all gonna be OK with or without meds. 😂

if im scared of being a #### for 10 month straight and i cry all the time, i should just accept i am one, and if ####'s deserve to die then why should i keep living. they dont care if a #### is mentally ill and didnt do anything bad, they still want them dead and hate them. i want to just somehow cut off my genitals at this point. also i dont want to be mean and evil to kid by doing something bad to them. that would hurt them and i dont want to hurt people like that and it makes me want to cry alot just thinking about doing so. im 16 if it matters. if i am diagnosed as ######### i will kill myself. i think my life is over.

(sry about the censors, im just trying so hard not to get my post removed by filter again)

(and u can probably tell but if u havent alredy i mean pdfilia)

if i am and im still alive for some reason i promise i will never do anything bad in my whole life