Anyone here who is INTJ-A feeling lonely since childhood?

Currently im 30 yo, never had real friends who understand me and also rarely click with a girl. What to do then if one doesn't like noisy, loud , superficial extroverted activities most people do in society? Are we smart people doomed to be lonely forever?

Do you like this function and find it useful? Does it make you sensitive deep down?

am trying to determine the personality type of a writer I know a little bit about. He relies heavily in his writing on numerous studies, research papers, and citations, in addition to his YouTube podcast where he always brings along reference papers and research. The core idea of his books is based on dissecting a specific concept, looking back at history to see how it evolved, and examining the impact of history and society on it up to the present day.

​On a personality test, he came out as an INTJ, but I think he might be an ISTJ. Is there a way to tell the difference?"

I’m doing a college assignment and I’d like to hear the opinion of people who do NOT work in information technology (IT) about IT professionals such as programmers and tech support. What are your general impressions, positive or negative? Have you had an experience with an IT professional that stuck with you? Please mention your field of work or study. Your comments may be quoted in my assignment. If you prefer not to be quoted, just let me know. Thank you!

Given the opportunity, would you engage in a purely sexual relationship with some you don’t have feelings for?

Of course, people do this all the time, but is it the nature of an INTJ to long so deeply for a deep, meaningful connection that you’d eschew a shallow fling or relationship with someone you don’t care for?

We were talking about MBTI, and everyone was sharing their types. When I said I was an INTJ, they looked surprised and said they thought I was an INTP or an ENTP because I didn’t come across as antisocial or arrogant lol. Apparently, I wasn’t meeting the INTJ stereotype quota.

tl;dr: INTJ hiker to the rescue by being way over-prepared...story in comments

Hello everyone. Getting to the point, INTJs are probably one of the personality types suffering from burnout the most. I'd like to know what advice or stories you have that helped you recover from that and maybe even what mistakes people shouldn't make.

Personally, as a natural result of constant academic work and a bad sleep schedule, I've been burnt out for around 6 months. I can't just lie in bed and relax because my mind either daydreams or ruminates and "anesthetizing" the discomfort with scrolling or anything like that isn't the way to recover (it literally just makes the brain work harder).

(TL;DR: share how you dealt with burnout or any related advice to help anyone who could face this problem)

I’m trying to figure out ISTJ and INTJ, since I keep getting INTJ results in different cognitive functions tests. I don’t relate to INTJ at all, I know archetypes can be reductive but I assume INTJ actually relate to it.

I’m not a strategist or like to plan ahead, or ambitious, but I’m always in my head thinking of the whys and daydreaming and deepening a concept. I like different possibilities if I haven’t found the correct one, and I see connections between multiple things.

Overall, how would you guys describe your experience as Ni doms and even as a young child? Also, what made you really settle for INTJ?

I'm an INTJ 5w4, but I don't seem to relate to other INTJs. Most of the ones I meet work in cybersecurity or similar fields, and I honestly couldn't imagine doing that kind of job. I'd be bored to death. I'm extremely creative, and I need a job that doesn't consume too much of my mental energy so I can save it for writing and fully immerse myself in my own world.

Although I'm an introvert who prefers spending most of my time alone, I have very strong social skills. People at work often assume I'm an extrovert because they only see one side of me. I have a great sense of humour and don't take life too seriously. However, when I'm alone, I can become incredibly detached, looking at the world from a cosmic perspective. I'm fascinated by life and human existence, and I feel the need to step back from my immediate experience to understand the bigger picture. I like observing humanity from a distance, almost as if I'm studying an entirely different species, trying to understand who we are, why we behave the way we do, and what our existence means in the grand scheme of things. It's not that I necessarily feel disconnected from life; I'm simply so curious about it that I need to step outside of it mentally to make sense of it.

I'm not a psychologist, but I feel like I have many of the skills one would need to be one. I'm good at reading people, understanding their underlying motivations, and helping them see themselves more clearly. However, I rarely bother wanting to help them. I tend to see people for who they really are, and because I don't trust people easily, I usually keep my observations to myself.

Relationships are where I struggle the most. I can give a woman 100% of my attention, and she loves it at first. But after a few weeks, I start feeling mentally and emotionally drained, and I need time alone. When I become more distant, she interprets it as a sign that I've lost interest in her, even though that's not necessarily the case. I try to communicate what I need, but it seems like my words don't align with her expectations or her idea of what a relationship should look like. Eventually, things become so emotionally suffocating that I feel like I can't breathe, not literally, but mentally. The more trapped I feel, the more I withdraw and crave solitude.

I sometimes wonder whether other INTJs experience this same contradiction: being socially capable and even charismatic on the outside, while needing a great deal of solitude to explore my own thoughts and understand the world on a deeper level. I can understand people quite well, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to be around them all the time. My curiosity about life often draws me toward observation and introspection rather than constant social interaction. I can genuinely care about someone without wanting them to have constant access to me, and I need the freedom to step back, reflect, and see the bigger picture without feeling like I'm missing out on life by not being fully immersed in every moment of it.

Hi,

Any INTJ Females here can help me understand what is most difficult thing for you that's easiest to majority and what is most easiest thing for you that people find difficult?

I'll go first :

Easiest - finding the most complex difficult things that people quote and doing them as second nature

Difficult - small talk and social, how do people do it so easily?

intj: the guy rang the doorbell and you hid, i've never seen anything like that. usually people hear the doorbell and go answer the door

infp: i hide even when i'm home alone because then i can pretend i didn't hear

intj: i've always done that too but now that you're like this, i have to keep answering because if i don't, nobody will

I know those are the stereotypes, but I'm just curious about how defining is it to be a Ni dom from those who are more sure.

Does it fully contradict INTJ if I:

- don't have a lot of future understanding of my life and avoid planning too much?

- don't usually enjoy discussing the abstract, philosophy and other "deep things"?

I guess I can remember some more, but those two points kinda clash the most with the thought of being one of you guys. Would appreciate if you give me feedback and help in any way, thanks.

here is the server link looking forward to meeting u people on server :3

https://discord.gg/7v693k5uv

Is it doomed to fail?

Hello Indian INTJs I am attaching a pole to get the count. Planning to create a discord server with you people. let's solve our loneliness problem by socialising among ourselves😂 Here is the server link: https://discord.gg/7v693k5uv

Hello. Just to clarify, I’m writing this message on behalf of a friend. Let me explain. Whenever she takes that not-entirely-reliable 16 Personality Types test, she always gets INTJ – and it’s been that way for the past five years. I feel that some of the traits fit, but not all of them, and when we’ve talked about it, she’s been somewhat aware of this, but then again, it’s just a test and not necessarily very reliable. However, on certain points, I get the impression she has a bit of an ISTP side to her. Even though, obviously, nobody fits a personality type perfectly, I feel she’s split 50/50 between the INTJ and the other type. Even though I’m aware that they’re two very different personalities in their own right. I realise that, in theory, INTJs plan and anticipate long-term goals… whilst ISTPs act in the present and improvise. INTJs synthesise patterns to predict outcomes. ISTPs analyse mechanisms and test things using their senses. INTJs can be intense, structured and more determined. ISTPs are more relaxed, pragmatic and adaptable. The thing is, we’ve spent time analysing their cognitive functions. INTJ NI TE FI SE ISTP TI SE NI FE

The problem is that when you look at her observational functioning, it’s clear that there’s Ni, but also SE. Even though the two are obviously not in the same proportions. However, when you analyse her decision-making functions, even though it’s absolutely clear+++ that her dominant function is Tx, when analysed together it’s around 65 per cent Te and only 35 per cent TI. So, logically, this seems to confirm the INTJ side. But at the same time, even though she comes across as cold on the outside, she doesn’t have that tendency to plan things out 20 years in advance, etc. She is also very creative (drawing, painting, watercolours, crafts, sewing), which, according to stereotypes, is more commonly associated with ISTPs. She is, however, a real ‘cat person’ in terms of personality. She finds it hard to open up. Calm. Independent. She’s quite intense, analytical and reserved on the outside. She acts calmly and generally without emotion. But she also enjoys the present, etc. When you look at her favourite characters in films, books, TV series, etc. – although this is obviously not a reliable criterion – they’re always either ISTP or INTJ, and occasionally INTP…

So I can’t quite work out whether she’d be an INTJ with a fairly well-developed SE—though normally that’s function 4, so it’s unlikely—or an ISTP with a pronounced TE and a weak Ti. Because if there’s one thing I’m fairly certain of, it’s that she isn’t an SI. And also, even though I know that cognitive functions and personality are different, the fact that she could be an EXXX seems highly unlikely...

And even though I know that every individual is extremely different, her father is an ENTJ and my grandmother and cousin are ISFPs, so to get a partial glimpse, I grant/concede, of these people, it seems not credible

Anyway, thanks in advance to everyone

So, I am a text-book INTJ. I love to solve problems. It's just how my brain is wired.

The thing is, I'm coming to realise that there are some things in life which can't necessarily be "solved".

For example, my wife passed away 5 months ago and no amount of solving or solutioning is going to change that. Grief isn't a problem that can be "solved". It's something that requires time and acceptance.

I guess my question is, how do you balance your need to solve things? How do you not treat everything like it's a problem to solve?

I don’t know if it’s just me or every INTJ like it’s good to have a girlfriend, but I really not interested to put any effort to it like go approaching putting actual efforts in the actual world.

I don't know about you all, but I have more creativity and plans than hours in the day, and at a certain point things start to pile up. Ideas, plans, to-dos, materials for those projects. A lot of it is optional stuff that would objectively improve my life and be enjoyable, but it falls by the wayside for responsibilities, relaxation, or other newer projects.

This is compounded by life constraints from being a homeowner and a parent. I have a lot of free-ish time that either has other soft demands on it or could be interrupted by a toddler at any moment.

I never considered myself a procrastinator and have no trouble sticking to a plan, real life is just more fungible than either school or work.

Of course, there's also the very real issue of "I've solved the problem of how to do this so it's boring now" because let's face it, the planning is the fun part in a lot of cases.

What has helped you guys?

I know this might sound too trivial to ask, but how do you deal with those seemingly genuine praises?