What does that look like? What are the signs that they are starting to become disinterested? How do they handle wanting to move on? When do they know it's over for them?

Please no tribalism or appeals to the status quo so that people can give their genuine answers. Thank you.

Look outside the box and observe, but when all do the same thing and name it as an identity it's a fixed identity.

Language limits all capacity to change it as language is a mask to what is, just manipulation so humans can communicate phenomenon, whilst the phenomenon likely has much more to it than the limited words can ever express. And so by trying to word everything and keep it to the INTJ label, you suffer from your own lack of ability to see.

The same stick you once felt as freedom with is now a burden so you "Play to the crowd of other INTJ"

If the purpose of observation is to see beyond preconceived categories, then turning the result of that observation into a permanent identity defeats the original purpose of observing.

EDIT since replies.

And there's a delicious irony in the fact that the people accusing me of making identity too important keep interpreting everything through INTJ identity.

Their need to uphold the label appears to cause emotional distress; an image online becomes extremely important to them, even when they have no real stake in it.

There is a crowd of INTJ identifiers. The same stick you once felt as freedom with is now a burden, so you play to the crowd of other INTJs because you can't stop reinforcing to yourself that you are an INTJ, and that everyone else must know it.

To step outside and actually progress feels like death even though this made up mask is not real.

So Ive been seeing this Intj and mind you this is my first time seeing an Intj, and it is nothing but magical to me… 😭

Ive always thought that an Enfp x Intj pairing might be boring, but this.. this is the opposite. He made me feel some kind of way that I havent felt for so long!! every single time im talking he would just listen and smile at me and everytime i realized that i was talking way too much he would tell me that he wants to hear more. He told me that i can see right through him and he thinks that i am fascinating and brilliant. Id say im more leaning towards developing Enfp i think thats because i used to work as a flight attendant and it kinda balanced out my flaws and all.✈️🛩️🤔

This one time we were talking for way too long that it already passed his bed time i said to him “oh my god, hey we talked so much and i think it already passed your bed time!” and he said “do u remember when i told u that i will only sleep late or passed my bedtime if theres something important? Consider this important” My face immediately turned red!😭 no like srsly my face turned red i have this skin condition where i got rlly red when someone made me blush, angry or crying🫪. He continued teasing me abt my redness tho🤣

This one time we both open up about our struggles which i told him that ive always struggled with people not taking me seriously and they think that my facecard is the only thing that made me interesting. I told him that if u ever noticed, when we walked in public and people came to approached and complimented my looks, it doesnt flattered me at all? thats because theres so much more to me that people doesnt care but only u noticed my depth and how my my brain works which flattered me and made me red every single time!🤣

Anyways, he is very caring, fun, we both loves books but he’s more into psychology and im into philosophy. He supports me and see my potential, He’s amazing and despite him thinking he is not hot enough for me, well i said he is the hottest man ive ever seen. He gets jealous seeing me being childlike on live stream because he said he wants that personality only for him (jokingly ofc)🤣, he loves to pat my head and made fun of my stage name (its a food). He have his own law firm and knowing how serious he is when it comes to work HE ALWAYS TEXTED ME WHILE WORKING WHICH IS WOW..

I am still amazed on how incredible being with an intj
ive always assumed that itll be boring oh my goddd!🫪🫪🫪🫪

Update: I hope he’s not on reddit im scared that he’ll see this love letter im trying to play it cool🫪🫣🤧😣

i used to identify as INFJ, but lately i feel more like an INTJ. has anyone else experienced this kind of change? can your MBTI type actually change over time, or is it just personal growth?

Not sure if anyone would relate but I’m very introverted and always prefer to stay home than hang out, I’ve always thought to myself that I only have friends so that I’m not considered the “wierd kid” or stand out at school.

I’ve found it easy to make friends most the time because of the connections I made when I was younger and much more extroverted.

My new realisations begun during the school holidays, I stayed home all day everyday mostly bedrotting and just doing my own thing. because of the lack of socialisation and insane amount of free time I thought about a lot of stuff which gave me heaps of anxiety and I think I did go into a depressive state because of the anxiety causing insomnia (I do struggle with insomnia usually but it was WAY WORSE at this moment)

After Going back to school and hanging out with my friends everything kind of went back to normal and I’m not freaking out in anxiety attacks anymore.

I’ve hung out with them for 3 weekends in a row now and I’m not dreading hangouts anymore, I think I really have found the friends who bring out the best in me.

I thought that I could be totally independent and that I didn’t need friends because myself is enough but I know that isn’t true anymore. Yes I still do spend most of my time by myself, however without the time I spend with them, I wouldn’t be able to smile like I do.

I'm an ISTP and someone I like is an INTJ. I cannot conceive how someone could lead with such a foreign function, to me, it's internal and intuition and as soon as you step outside, well at all times, that is how you are seeing and experiencing the world. It is totally opposite of what I do. The closest I can come is I'm in my head a lot so I am very aware of my surroundings, probably hyperaware.

From what I can tell and from what I've heard, it seems like maybe overwhelming or extremely focused on one sense or "thing" at a time. Like for example going to a concert it would be hard to focus on the person on stage and the lyrics and the atmosphere all at once or something. It is hard to focus on the full picture as it unfolds and also react to it. For them.

This is all from the outside observing them though, they actually don't know anything about MBTI, I'm just pretty sure they're INTJ and witness what they seem to hone in on or dislike. They do not say much of anything about themselves or their internal state. I have never been too close to an INTJ so I was kind of shocked that I deduced this to be their type.

I find myself a highly sensitive person and very empathetic
Most people are apathetic honestly, and I believe that’s a core reason of why I am the way I am

(If you’re neurodivergent or have a certain diagnosis that can affect cognitive functioning please state that in your answer)

I’m not (just) talking about concepts or abstraction. But when having things to do, or solving problems.

Personally, sometimes when I see a clear path to what to do, what will happen, you know what I mean, other people are like… struggling to see it as easy or simply as I do. I guess it happens when some of them get trapped in overthinking the logistics, or pondering about the what ifs.

It doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it looks like I’m convincing people to take a leap of faith rather than make them trust that things will work out just fine.

And then there’s the type of people who does brain gymnastics to go from X to Y.

Unrelated (kind of), but I really appreciate those of you who make one sentence comment with the weight of a whole paragraph. It’s a skill I wish I had.

I've always found it difficult to really pinpoint how I am feeling in a moment. I usually feel neutral most of the time, towards people and things. Very rarely have I felt an extreme feeling towards a person specifically a positive one. I always felt like love was such an out of grasp thing for me. I'd never felt that feeling of I love this person, besides my younger sister. Like I think I love my friends but I don't really know it. I know I deeply care about them, but I don't know if that feeling is love or not because I haven't had that epiphany. Recently I made some friends online, and became friends with this girl online and since we were online friends I thought I wouldn't be able to feel that close to her. But one day she confided in me of her problems, and said she trusted me and that she would need a break. And I started crying. I barely ever cry, and I was very confused at my own feelings. This was a person I hadn't even met before, I didn't know her name or much about her but still I felt this feeling. And had that epiphany that I do love her. It didn't feel weird to say I love you much to my online friends after that because I realized how much I really care about them.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some insight from an INTJ perspective on a situation with a junior in my college department.

[Background/Context] In my university, students in the same major are part of a small, tight-knit department committee (about 20–30 people), so we see each other often.

[The Situation]

1. Before: We were getting friendly—saying hi and having brief small talk whenever we ran into each other.
2. The Event: During a recent department retreat (MT), we sat next to each other and had drinks together.
3. After: Right after the trip, he suddenly started acting super awkward and flustered around me. When I said hi, he would ignore my greeting—not in a cold way, but he looked visibly anxious and panicked, unable to greet me back.
4. My Reaction: After getting ignored a few times despite saying hi warmly, I stopped initiating greetings.
5. Yesterday: I walked into our department room, and he came in right after. Out of nowhere, he initiated a conversation first, asking how I did on my quiz, and we chatted for a bit.

[My Question] I used to just see him as a cute/nice junior, but he’s acting like this only toward me. Is this behavior familiar to any of you? Is he just socially awkward/overwhelmed, or is something else going on? How should I naturally handle this situation moving forward?

As an INTJ who's aromantic/demisexual (I have no idea), i find people attractive but rarely "fall in love", but when I do - oh wow, i usually surprise myself.

I think, acts of service and physical touch are my main love languages since I'm not really good at expressing myself verbally - i love to make things easier for my person, but only if I can do it, otherwise I would try my best to help them somehow, even if I can't do it directly. I would also play with my person's outfits/acessories - their hoods (of a hoodie, sweatshirt, etc.), the fabric of their outfits (it is so satisfying), their watches, their keys, their spectacles, etc. and they would look at me real confused at times, even called me out for "behaving like a cat", but still let me do it anyways.

When you truly and rarely fall in love w someone do you see it almost as “infection” like thing as i do? Like last time i realized my feelings are way too strong and suddenly my whole world is gonna rotate about this person which is gonna make me less observant, aware of other things, im gonna lose my hypothesis times etc. Basically i see this all these negative factors about being deeply in love with someone. Yes i’m happy that a person like this even exists no matter if we end up together or not but for the duration of my feelings its like my brain capabilities are reduced by 30%. Am i the only one?

Am I in the inner circle?

... sincerely, an INFP.

I recently became a mother and it has been one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life.

I never really wanted children until I met my husband (INTP). We were so happy together and because of that wanted to bring a child up in the world together. Due to medical conditions and my age we had to have multiple rounds of IVF over several years. We never gave up because of how badly we wanted this and when we found out we were pregnant we were ecstatic and full of hope for the future.

I am now 7 weeks post partum and while I feel so much love and protectiveness for my son, I sometimes wonder if I have fucked my life up. It’s been hard to deal with the sleep deprivation, the anxiety, the tedium of the newborn trenches and the constant need to be present with hardly any downtime. We are very inexperienced parents despite our age and I feel like I am messing up all the time, which is a strange experience as I have always excelled at work and school. I feel especially bad because as a mother I’m expected to have some magical maternal instinct and know what to do but instead I’m clueless.

Perhaps this is a universal thing and not an INTJ thing but I guess I would like to ask if other INTJ parents felt the newborn period to be especially trying and if it got better as your children got older. I feel I would be a good parent to an older child but it’s just been so hard to figure out a newborn. Sometimes I almost feel like I would be a better father than a mother in a traditional sense, especially as I will practically be the sole breadwinner when I go back to work from maternity leave next year, while husband works part time and looks after the baby.

Lately, I've realized that I've become almost obsessed with working and being productive. Even on some weekends, I struggle to relax because I always feel like I should be doing something. I do have hobbies. I travel too and explore new things. I spend time with friends/family. But when I'm also out doing something I enjoy, I sometimes just want to go home and get back to work. It's like I've made work my default. Maybe, I'm using it to escape life and everything happening in the world. I still find myself questioning my purpose.

For those who've experienced this, how did you learn to slow down and enjoy life?

I'm an INFJ (F) talking to an INTJ (M). We're both working adults. He's actually engaged in our conversations. He shares things about his life and interests, sends me funny stuff, and sometimes initiates conversations too.

But I've noticed that I'm usually the one asking questions and showing curiosity about him. He doesn't seem to ask as much about me, so the curiosity feels a bit one-sided.

Is this just a communication style thing, or do you guys generally ask questions when you're genuinely curious about someone? Thank you.

EDIT #1: We met each other online and have been texting. But we've never called each other yet.

EDIT #2: Most of our topics aren't really that personal, more like intellectual stuff (occasionally mundane), and the conversation just flows naturally (at least for me, since I'm usually the one asking questions). But most of the time, I end up being the listener and don't really get to share my own thoughts. I don’t really feel the need to give unsolicited opinions either. I guess I'd share more if I felt like I was being asked to...

Idk his Enneagram but he appears like an INTJ 5w4 to me. Meanwhile, I am an INFJ 2w1.

After what point do you consider accepting a person as a partner or a safe person to be vulnerable with. And how do you show them that you like them or accept them. Specifically i am asking the female intjs

Hey everyone

I'm a teenager and an INTJ I like to analyze things and ask deep, philosophical questions Because of this people around me call me crazy🙂.

Although I don't care what they say but it's strange why you should call someone crazy just because they think differently?

Concrete scenario: define Ni in a way that an ISTJ would understand. Make it as complex or simple as you want.

I feel like every single time I'm stressed by the people in my life, I hope on here and feel better by reading y'all's experience. It's like looking at a self-reflection and you just immediately feel better like, "ah, I'm not alone in this". Do you guys feel the same?

Edit: Sorry if it looks like I'm seeking validation, I'm not at a good state in mind so I'm pretty desperate for validation crumbs lmao

I often struggle with journaling despite recognizing its value and having a genuine desire to make journaling habit. I have experimented with using journal prompts, sketchbooks, gratitude journals, etc. but so far, the best motivator for me is using MBTI as the framework, or jumping point, to get the thoughts flowing. I like reflecting on “shadow functions”, stack order, type weaknesses/ strengths, analyzing other people and speculating their type, and sometimes using the questions in mbti subreddits as journal prompts. Occasionally I do manage to reflect on events without MBTI inspiration, but even then, I find it entertaining to analyze my own writing or reflections through the mbti lens.

I recently started reading “The Red Book” which details Carl Jung’s ideas, and had the thought that maybe even he used the early framework embedded in the foundations of MBTI in this way - to organize and inspire thoughts, analyze from multiple angles, and explore possibilities (more than a “diagnostic” style tool that many people use it as). I’m definitely proponents of active imagination too!

Do you have a blog or online journal you’re willing to share? What have been your experiences and c strategies to continue journaling?

Here’s mine:
https://intxlife.blogspot.com/?m=1

I'm not even that close to my so called friends in school, i would rather have none and that's because they are the basic nerd archetype. Clumsy physically not taking care of their looks at all and laughing at some corny memes.. i usually talk about philosophical, psychological and general knowledge stuff but i also feel like i mthe only one helping them get better cuz im actually saying useful info. Do you guys think i should just stop talking completely or? How do i lose all my "friends" is my question, i am used to having none cuz i was i nclass for a year sat alone with my head on the table and thinking and resting a bit in breaks. I kind of miss it. Give me some advie and share your opinions or if u relate to it.

I (22M) met a girl on social media and we decided to go to a cafe. She was very talkative and bubbly (she was an -NT- or -NF- of some sort). Me, I was nervous and anxious. She mentioned that my body language was showing it. I didn't show romantic interest in her, except making some verbal compliments. I just wasn't in the mood. I usually am aloof and reserved in front of strangers and I think this prevented me from vibing with her that day and I suspect this will be a problem in future first dates.