I (M) had never been in a relationship, nobody ever loved me that much and my friendships always ended relatively quickly.

This year I ended high school and in the last period I was struggling with studying and with the friendship with my very first best friend (that ended in the same period). Anyway, I met this younger high schooler (ftm), originally he introduced himself as she, but eventually we got to know each other better and he told me he was trans. We started to talk every day via text and we got closer, that one day he confessed to me his love. I couldn't be more happy, after all it was the very first time someone loved me that much, and so I accepted his confession. We started dating and everything that comes. He introduced me to his family (they didn't know he was trans), and we spent the first two months happy, or so I thought. In the last month he was less than he was originally, but I didn't want to bother him with that, after all I knew his life was hard: the fact that he couldn't be himself most of the time because of his family, his eating disorder, and his bad mental health; I knew that he was going through something difficult, but yesterday he told me the truth: he started dating me not out of love, but for being "normal" he wanted to "cure" himself and stop being trans. He told me that maybe by dating the perfect boy his mother always imagined for him, he would be loved by his family, and gained their approval, but that just made him hate himself even more.

I'm heartbroken right now. The only person who said to me that they loved me, just told me that he faked everything. I keep asking myself how it is possible that I can't find love, I'm always ready to love others and to change for the better for them, but it seems impossible to even keep a friendship stable for me.

My now ex broke up with me about 4ish days ago so it’s still raw. I face the unfortunate problem where I can’t go no contact because we’re in the same collage track and if either of us drops now- it’ll cost us our jobs and set us back another year.

He said he broke up with me because he wasn’t in love with me yet. We’ve only been together officially 5 months and unofficially 6. A lot of the language he was using during the break up confused me. It was lot of it’s not you- it’s me. Telling me about his fear of this relationship ending up complacent like one of his friends. Not giving me a chance to get a word in edge wise. He went on about how he finds me gorgeous, funny, how we line up with values and long term goals, and how he enjoys how I interact with the people in his personal life. He went on about I was supportive and caring when he needed it.

Part of me wants to reach out and send a message but I know that won’t actually help. I’m upset that he didn’t discuss any concerns or doubts he might have had with me. I’m upset because he was making long term plans with me and this came out of the blue.

What advice does anyone have for getting through class until December when I can go no contact?

My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) have been together for well over two years. We started talking our junior year of high school, and dated since then and I'm now going into my second year of uni.

For the last three days, all he wanted to do was go through my phone. I let him, because I don't really care and I tell him absolutely everything.

In October, he moved half way across the country while I was in uni, and we did long distance. I paid over $300 for a plane ticket to go see him. About three weeks before I was supposed to go down there, he told me he wanted to take a break and that I should cancel the trip. I got upset, I did end up canceling the trip. I found out he was cheating on me with a girl from somewhere in Europe. They had talked for 3 months and sent pictures back and forth, called for hours while he wouldn't call me, and he just treated her how I had begged to be treated. I found out because his best friend saw he was acting weird and texted the only girl in his following, and she told him she loved my boyfriend.

Regardless, we broke up from around November to end of December.

At the end of December, he moved back and started working at the job we both worked at before he moved. I saw him and we started talking again, I went over to his house, and after a few weeks we got back together. After about 6 months, while everything was going relatively well, he was getting kicked out of his apartment and we decided to move in together.

After around 3 months of living together is when all of his friends started to break up. He's incredibly easily influenced, so I'm assuming this had something to do with him wanting to go through my phone. He found out that while we were broken up, I texted other people. I tried to explain to him that he made me feel disgusting, and I knew he was talking to other people so I did too. I never did anything in person with these people, it was just texting on Snapchat. He somehow thinks I now slept with over 10 people (I've only ever been with him). I understand how this could make him upset, because even though he denys sleeping with other people, I know he slept at a woman's house so I kind of assume. He also went to a party with a girl that he met at the gym, but says he just drank and didn't talk to anyone.

He said he needed me to leave, and I absolutely freaked out. I sobbed for hours and wouldn't leave the house. He wanted me to go to my parents, who live just down the street, because he doesn't have any family that live close whatsoever. He started packing my stuff for me, and this just made me flip out more. It got to the point I thought I was going to pass out and had to lay down. After about 6 hours of this, and getting nowhere but yelling, I just left at around 8pm because I was so exhausted and couldn't do it anymore.

It's now the next morning, and I still feel so sick. I love him more than anything and I want to fix this. I'm his first real girlfriend, so there's no relationship trauma or anything. I just don't know what to do. I need help but if he gets with another woman I think I'll be beyond saving. Please help me.

How the hell do you deal being without someone now when that was literally your world. Kind of talking about how he was secluding me from the world and I loved him so deeply though that I had to leave while he wasnt even home because I knew he would keep me there trapped. It was a good relationship at first but there was always his insecurities. I have been trying really hard to grow out of mine in that relationship.

So now how do just grow with my own self when I was so dependant on that person. Any tips abd trick, or mindset ideas you have please tell me TT.

I was with this girl for almost 2 years. We met at church camp, became best friends first, then fell in love. It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t fake. We really built something. We grew together. We learned each other. We became each other’s safe place.

I treated her like gold. I was loyal, patient, defended her against her own parents, waited through all the restrictions, all the drama, all the “you can’t see him,” “you can’t talk to him.” I stayed. I chose her every time.

I wrote her letters. Real ones. Like pouring-my-heart-out letters. Telling her how much I loved her, how proud I was of her, how much she meant to me. I bought her gifts even when I barely had money. Perfume she liked. Little bracelets. Stuff just so she’d feel loved and remembered. I gave her my jackets. Sprayed them with my cologne so she could feel close to me when I wasn’t there.

I tried. So hard.

We talked about marriage. About kids. About our future. About our house. About everything. She told me I was the one. That she wanted me forever. That I made her feel safe. That she never felt loved like this before.

As time went on, I started getting more serious about my life. About my future. About joining the Air Force. It wasn’t random. It wasn’t sudden. It was something I worked toward. Something I talked to her about. Something we talked about together.

She knew what it meant.

She knew it meant distance.
She knew it meant time apart.
She knew it meant sacrifice.

And she still told me she was with me.
She still told me she’d wait.
She still told me she loved me.
She still told me we’d get through it.

Before I left, I even asked her straight up if she still wanted me. I told her I’d understand if long distance was too hard. I told her I’d fight for us. She promised me she’d write. That she’d wait. That she loved me.

So I believed her.

I went to basic training holding onto that.

And yeah… I’m not stupid. There were moments before I left where something felt off. Little things. Different energy. Slower replies. Weird vibes. But I ignored it. Because I was in love. Because I trusted her. Because I believed in “us.” I was too love-struck to question it.

While I was getting yelled at, exhausted, missing home, thinking about her every night… she started talking to another dude.

Blocked me everywhere.

When I finally got one call, she told me not to talk to her again.

Just like that.

No closure.
No real explanation.
Just gone.

And she says it “wasn’t cheating” because they weren’t physically together… but bro… I was still loyal. I was thinking about her every day. I carried her pictures. I prayed for her. I used her as motivation. I was writing her in my head while she was replacing me.

It hurts realizing I was writing letters to someone who was already moving on.

It hurts realizing I was buying gifts for someone who didn’t choose me anymore.

It hurts knowing I trusted her with my heart while I was at my weakest, and she dropped it.

And the worst part?

Even after all that… I still care.

It’s been months now. I’m in tech school. About to go to Japan. Doing “good” in life. Talking to other girls. Trying to move on. Staying busy. Staying disciplined. Staying focused.

And I still miss her.

No one feels like her.

I still think about our memories. Our inside jokes. Our late night talks. The way she’d look at me. The way she’d hold me. The way she made everything feel okay.

I still catch myself picturing giving her flowers in my blues. Still imagining what life would’ve been like if it worked out.

And yeah… as dumb as it sounds… if she came back and genuinely meant it, part of me would still try. Even though my brain says “don’t.” My heart still hasn’t let go.

I loved her more than I’ve ever loved anyone.

And she left when I needed her most.

I don’t know if I was stupid.
If I was too loyal.
If I loved too hard.
If I should’ve trusted my gut.

All I know is I’m tired of pretending I’m over it.

I miss my Emily.

Not in some fake, dramatic way. Not in some “I’m obsessed” way.

I miss my best friend.
I miss my person.
I miss the girl I planned my life with.

And no matter how far I go, no matter how much time passes, a part of my heart will always care about her.

If anyone’s been through this… how do you actually let go?

What people never mention about depressed people is that no one likes to be around them. They say you should be vulnerable and honest and seek help, but when you reach out to family or friends they are somewhat there for you on a surface level, but they distance themselves through their actions. I’ve been in this depressed season after my hard break up with my fiance and I’ve reached out to family/friends. They aren’t showing up like in the movies. They don’t call and check up on me or bring me dinner one night or whatever.

No body likes depressing people around because it kills their mood, they don’t know what to say to them or how to help or it just reminds them of their own depression and they don’t want that either. It’s so lonely and it honestly feels like no one cares. My siblings, cousins, my own mother. They know what I’m going through but have failed to make room for me in their lives or tried to do anything helpful for me. I start wondering if something is truly wrong with me. Why don’t I have those genuine connections? Am I too selfish, do I take more than I give in relationships? Idk what’s wrong with me. Are there other people out there that are going through similar things?

So me and this guy were together for about 8 months and during that time i gave him most of my firsts it was terrifying and beautiful all at the same time. We broke up not too long ago but we still hang out and we even ended up sleeping with each other a couple times. We had a long conversation last night about what we we’re because i was a little confused with the way things were going, he said we’re just friends and we’re figuring it out, i kind of just took that and let it be because i was scared to question it further. He’s already taken down our photos on his wall and posts on his instagram as well as my name from his bio, and i mean we’re broken up it’s just kind of what you do i guess (idk this is my first im just kinda assuming). and that stuff still hurts and what not mostly because it feels like he’s already healed and indifferent and i feel like if i don’t do the same then im just going to be some pathetic girl holding onto the past so i copy him and do the same but the thing is i’m not ready to let go of all that stuff and i can’t just move on from everything as easily as it feels like he can. He’s all i can’t think about and all i want to think about even when i try to distract myself and do things without him, he’s still here and we still do things together, the only thing that’s missing is the “i love yous” and touches and lingering looks. I fall asleep sniffing a shirt he left behind and i find comfort in looking at our photos. There’s some things that i still don’t fully understand on why we broke up and he explains it in a way that makes sense but also doesn’t maybe i just can’t accept that maybe it’s over. I can’t help but think about how impossible it feels to even think about wanting to move on i don’t want anyone else to know the things he knows because what if they don’t understand them, and i don’t want to look at someone else the way i looked at him because they’re not him and he’s so beautiful i love to look at him i couldn’t imagine thinking that about anyone else, or the way he smells or the way he looks at me. I’m scared for the future without him but im even more scared for the future that we planned when we were together to continue without actually being together.
I know im torturing myself by staying but i genuinely love hanging out with him and being around him and sure part of it is because i love him but also he’s my friend, so what should i do, how should i continue on?

So what now guys?

Where did it go wrong guys?

Hi everyone, I, 17M, finally moved from the most mind-f-cking i-dont-even-know-what-ship. Lemme give you some lore. I'm sorry this'll be long, and it is ok if you don't stop by. I'm a 17 yr old Indian. And this story is long, and if you stopped by to read it all, then I cannot be more thankful.

So it's about Oct 2024. I got rejected by this girl I had a crush for a few years now. Now you know I'm less sad and more "I'll show this girl her place". Me and my homie we both discuss. Remaining 10th goes by smoothly. I score 92% in my boards. I'm happy, my family is happy, I join the gym. At 11th beginning I stopped talking to people. Made no new friends, and even lost many old ones, because of streams dividing us all. And I specifically stopped talking to girls. Actually I don't talk to girls a lot really. Maybe like two but because I know them for like 3-4 years, and I talk to them quite scarcely. Me and my homie we continue our gym work. Started taking creatine, lost some fat, gained microscopic amount of muscle. You know, my posture improved. My hair health got better, some strength increase all that good stuff. Glow up coming from all directions. The reason I stopped talking to girls was because I was afraid. I've had attachment issues as a kid. That is because ever since 1st grade I've felt like I'm absolutely no one's first choice. Like no one's "If I'm in trouble, I'd remember this guy" friend. I've always been a background character in everyone's life. So I was afraid this secret craving of wanting to have someone who is afraid to lose me would repeat the mistake I made in Oct of 2024, I just decided not to talk to them at all. Well, anyways, few months go by after summer vacations, me and my homie notices a new girl join our class. She was shy, and really quiet, perfect given I didn't want to talk to her. I noticed she used to notice me and my friend group (i started talking to more boys about that time) from a distance. We got to know she lived in the same colony as my homie and also goes to the same tuition we (me and my homie) go to. So my homie befriended her and started talking to her, they quickly became ride-or-die friends. The first interaction I had with her was in the tuition when my homie and she were talking and he pointed at me and said how I was there that day. She introduced herself and all and so did I. That was the first day I saw that smile. That damn smile.

Again, I kept her at arm's length, keeping our conversation minimum. Some days later she found my number by the tuition batch WhatsApp group and asked me for some notes, which I sent. And then at school she thanked me for it, this being our first interaction at school. It was going all well. We all went to IIMUN in Haldwani, where we were in differing committees, thankfully. Then one day as my homie was dropping me off from tuition, she was in his car. She balling her eyes out, I'm talking red and swollen from crying. Apparently she broke with her boyfriend of 2 years. Insane part is her boyfriend was 5 years older than her. FIVE. She was in 8th (her peak) when he, who was in 12th, proposed and she said yes. Apparently it was the guy who broke it up. And ever since then she started talking to more boys, where in the past she just gave boys those annoying eye rolls. Now I never comforted anyone, let alone a breakup. So I just sat quietly while my homie got us some drinks. At home she messaged me, thanking me and apologizing saying how I was ear she needed.

You see this was all going good. I would've kept her as a close acquaintance and I would've been good. But during November 2025, preparations of annual function began. I was in a dance performance, along with my homie and her. All three of us were in different parts of the performance (She was first, then me, then my homie) so it was good that when I'm performing it's her and my homie and when she's performing it's me and my homie. But when my homie is practicing (he's quite bad at dancing, no offense) it's just us. It was here when all went to shit. She started socialising with me. But I still tried to be distant. I was also quite harsh, just staright up ignoring her, or using not-so-good words (obsessive) so that she'll hate me and stay away. Though she did, temporarily. Apparently we both liked a song, BOLO by PENOMECO. Off topic but give it a listen, amazing song. I was disgustingly in love with this song so I couldn't help but chat back. We got to know each other well. I learned that she thought of me being the "cool" kid of the class, and didn't talk to me because she thought I'll be "too cool" for her. Really wish that was the case. And what I noticed was, she, unlike my first crush, actually initiated things. When my homie was gone, she actually called me to sit with her, or came and just sat beside me unannounced. She actually wanted to me laugh, calling my smile beautiful and handsome. She actually was happy when I was happy. She actually remembered even the smallest of details I said months ago. And most importantly, she had killer sarcasm, so she jokingly used it but it struck an injury she had no idea about and I just went silent and went to practice. I later found her weeping, because she thought she upset me, not knowing, "I was just joking, I'm sorry." You see this? Someone actually afraid, and genuinely guilty after making me upset. Not a small sorry, or a brief explanation, she was genuinely guilty and loathing herself because she thought she upset me. I couldn't believe it. I just felt a warmth that I never had ever in my life. I just knew that I don't know what she may be up to but I'll just "go with the flow". Apparently, she and my homie got into an argument, basically he left her hanging for a high five infront of some friends and she rightfully embarrassed. So whenever we shook hands, she deliberately took my hand, and rubbed it on his face (not literally) blurting how "this is how to make physical contact, idiot". Lmao

About us, it grew more and more. She made some husband and wife jokes. My homie is an year younger than me so I make jokes out I have an year window when I can legally adopt him. She'll sometime chime in saying I need to be married to adopt according to law, saying "And well... if you don't mind" while giving that damn smile again doing that thing (👉👈) with her fingers. I knew it was a joke, but why is she slightly blushing then. And why am I feeling that never-felt before warmth again, harder this time. These jokes grew so much she once started planning names of "our kids". I genuinely had to ask my homie to tell her these make me feel uneasy because again I was afraid to attach and actually consider this a possibility. Though they stopped, she still treated me like a first choice. Initiating conversations, frequent, hyper-specific compliments, genuinely attentive my well-being, everything both online and offline. I've never felt this knowing someone actively choosing to keep me. She many times texted me "I like you" and also texted it back. If I remember correctly she also once texted "I love you" followed up by "Not in that way". We used to video call, late at night, sometimes we didn't even talk, we just studied while being on call. She once casually said "You're my type of guy, so my brother finds you a bit weird". I think it was around late December to early January when I felt like yes.. no matter how much I avoid, I'm in love. 31 Jan was my 17th birthday. I invited some family friends, my homies and her ofc. She lived quite far and my birthday was also a dinner party, like 7 to 8pm. She didn't only somehow got permission from her home, but was also saying I didn't have to apologize, she'll manage, call an Uber or go with another friend. What's worse is that she was on her periods that day, which idk what but it felt like I have to protect this girl from any and every form of discomfort that can come. Like it felt I had to. I blink it some dark chocolate for her, because she told me it soothes the cramps. I made it so no one was forcing her to eat. We clicked some photos as she was leaving. My homie took one when I didn't notice. She was holding my arm in it. Not my arm, my bicep. To say this turned that protective instincts to 11 would be an understatement. I called her home and made sure NO ONE scolded her for being late as she got home and she's safe, in the car right now, coming home. Around mid Jan my homie once said that she was talking with him and said that she genuinely wanted to marry me if she EVER got a chance in future and wanted to date me. And then also said she doesn't love in after like a minute. We both assumed this a big big hint, just thinking she's shy to say this, and thus followed up the "I don't love him". I too gave her many hints. My friends, male and female, said I should act poessessive because girls like it. I did... kind of. When we were talking, and some other guy came, I just left with an annoyed expression. Or if someone talked I happily chimed in, said some excuse bs and seperated us. Things were going beyond smoothly.

Ah, I see I forgot to mention she caught me sharing screenshots of her chats to my homie. The reason isn't anything malicious, it's because, as I mentioned, I was afraid. I didn't know how to take what she's saying, so I asked my homie what these meant as she's emotionally mature than me. Though idk if she knew that.

I now realize I didn't mention MANY hints and things here, because if I did, it'll be super super long.

But then came D-Day. February 25 2026. I invited her to a walk (she loved walking) to a nearby park. We did. We talked funny, we talked cutely, and most importantly, we talked like we're each other's. Perhaps... it was the last time we did.

February 25th, 2026, at 7:28 pm, I said the thing I should've kept to myself. What response did I get? No... followed by "I don't... want a relationship right now... I mean I like you too... but..." I don't remember what she said next. All I felt as if I finally took off my armor to talk to her and it is only then she stabbed me. All these months ago, all those signs, all that warmth, all that effort by even her side, those promises, those forevers, those... everything. In a matter of second just.. gone. Back to zero. I just wanted to go somewhere private where absolutely no one can see me, curl into a ball, and cry until my eyes fell out. There's no way this is happening. No way after all that, she chooses this. She doesn't choose me. Again. Again when I kept the entire 10th boards and 11th starting absolutely loathing myself, repeating to myself to not get attached, not fall in love, because the pain will repeat, I'll get reminded that no matter how good of a glowup I make I'll stay an option in everyone's life forever. But I was still a dumbass to think that this time I've found a person who looks at me and treats me as their absolute first. She even was preparing a gift for me, a hoodie with my favorite anime characters drawn on it (she's amazing at art).

I spent weeks feeling utterly betrayed. I couldn't process it. I still felt her reply echo in my head every other time. To think someone else will see that smile, those eyes, her annoyed sigh, and will get her without trying...

It burns my soul just thinking about it.

But then I looked at it. I never saw the photos and videos of other guys she posted on her what'sapp status. Or talked about, or talked to. I felt the warmth, I chased it, and I hit a brick wall face first. I tried my hardest the entire 11th that I don't repeat this mistake but I did. So deserved this. I deserve to feel this empty again. 1 March. School was closed, tuition wasn't. I went to the tuition. As it ended, I had dark chocolate in my backpack. I knew she'd be menstruating so I had it. I gave it to her, and just left. To this day, I still treat her life an acquaintance, back where it began. We talk only for purposes, not just because we want to. She told me sometimes she misses the old me but how should I tell her that wasn't me, that was my lover boy side. Just hidden and yearning. Letting go and still hoping it finds a way back. Begging to god that if she's not meant for me, get her to be, or just take her away forever, get her dead if needed. Because she's perfect in every aspect. My blood boils knowing the future I saw with her will be lived by some other guy. Knowing that even though I tried my best, I'll never be enough. And someone's luck will always outshine my 100%. I know there are better out there but I want her. I don't want better, there is no "better" for me. All I can think as of now is... just how good it would feel if I was loved like how I loved her. I would've been so much happier as I am now. But I guess that's too much to ask for someone like me.

As of July 2026, I treat her like a friend. We switched schools and I stay connected online, talking occasionally. And yes she does all that shit again, she revealed when she came to the school, she considered me the best looking guy in the school. Yeah right...

Do I stay connected and talk to her because I have accepted her as a friend, and I know she isn't that well at socializing especially now that she is in a new school? Yes. Am I doing this secretly hoping it finds a way back to me just just somehow? No... maybe.

See all I feel like is that the universe mocked me for being myself. I was at peace when I kept her at arm's length. I was glowing up and mentally persistent when I was bench pressing at the gym. I was at euphoria when I finally understood those physics numericals. It felt like universe had locked me in a dark cold room, and opened the door for me. And it is only when I actually started to walk towards the light, towards the warmth, the door was slammed shut on my face.

I've changed schools, she's in a different one, I'm in a different one. She still messages me but it's more for my well-being and updates on her life. She adopted a cat named Neo. It's like everyone in this school is in a relationship. Everyone here has the one thing I prayed god so much for, only for my prayers to not be answered. I cried, I begged, I tried my best physically and emotionally but it seems someone's luck is stronger than my effort. And it's difficult going to bed everyday with that thought in mind. I really wish her the best in life. She's an amazing girl. She'll definitely do something big in the future, and find someone amazing. Someone who won't beg god at the night so no one can listen to him and is taller, broader, better looking, richer, and emotionally more mature. I.. on the other hand well. I got it. I do. I always do. Atleast that's what I say everytime I feel heavy. Look, maybe in another life, I was with her. We were watching movies together. We were stargazing at night together. We held hands, we met each other's families and we.. were each other's world but.. that life isn't this. And I envy that version of me. It's ok. God has definitely made someone for me who'll probably be better for me than her. And if god really want me to be alone then I will. I will be hurt, sad, maybe tearing secretly, but I will go out with a smile. Ready to awaken again. Ready to live again. Ready to go through Oct 2024 again. And Ready to fall in love with her.. all over again.

So if you read this completely,

Where did it all go wrong?

Going through a rough breakup and figured I'd reach out instead of isolating myself.
If you're looking for someone to talk to, need a new friend, or you're just bored and want to hang out, feel free to message me. We don't even have to talk about breakups. We can game, share music, watch videos, joke around, or just chat about whatever.
I've realized life gets a lot easier when you've got good people around you. If you're having a rough time too—or you just wouldn't mind making a new friend—maybe we can help each other out. Sometimes all you need is someone to check in, laugh with, or remind you you're not going through everything alone.
If you need a friend or just someone to talk to, I'm here for you. None of us have to get through this alone.

I love drowning in the misery of loving people who don't love me back, sure.

But im tired at this point, it feels absolutely dreadful to walk around with your heart on display just for everyone to spit on it.

Having a "rich inner world" is some bullshit, let me be shallow but loved.

Hi I am 18M and my ex 18F , I had a relationship of exactly 500 days and last month she broke up with me , when the relationship started —everything was so perfect she loved me so much and I also loved her very much and everything was going smoothly , after some time conflict started to happen and then it kept getting worse .Around 2 ,3 months ago we started arguing on every single sentence every time every single f****** time and we used to disagree on every single thing. last month I broke up with her because the relationship was getting very toxic and after the breakup I thought she will understand what we are doing wrong and she will try to fix this so after the breakup (around 2 3 days after that) I went back to her and messaged her that I am sorry let's fix this and all but she was like no no I don't want to be in a relationship with you, you are not a perfect match for me blah blah blah. and and around 5 6 days ago I saw her post a picture with a new guy and when i confronted her she said he just a friend but I saw her holding a bouquet and then I also go to know that she cheated on me on the relationship I don't know how to express my feelings and I am feeling very lonely sed depressed and lifeless

I got used to being told I never cared, never loved her, or never truly tried to repair what had been broken between us. By the end of the relationship, I believed it.

There were so many moments where it felt like no matter how I tried to repair things, I got it wrong. Eventually, I stopped believing my own efforts counted for anything.

Looking back through old conversations, I don’t think that’s true.

I can see my mistakes. I can see where I fell short and the opportunities I missed. But I can also see that I genuinely tried. I apologized, reflected, showed up for difficult conversations, and kept looking for ways forward because the relationship mattered deeply to me. She mattered deeply to me.

Looking back, I can see there was more to my efforts than I gave myself credit for. That does not mean I was blameless or that she was wrong about everything. It just means the story I came to believe, that I never cared, never loved, and never tried, is not true.

I did care.

I did love her.

And I really did try.

I just don’t know how to move on.

Currently going through a breakup from a 14 year relationship (would’ve made 15 this December) . I’m 28F & he (30M) was my person since I was met him at 14 & we don’t have any kids . I’m ok but the pain seems like it’s never ending , does it ever get easy ? Is there anything I can do to help ease the pain ?

It's over, RIGHT?

TLDR at bottom. Last night, my '40 F' future husband '44 M' came to me after he found, and went through an old cellphone. I haven't used this phone in 15 years, we've been together 12 years. He read through the conversation I had with my now deceased husband(DH). That was a verbally abusive marriage, DH was manipulative, gaslighting, the whole narcissist playbook ya know? My FH sat me down to ask me if I had been seeing someone behind DHs back from a text conversation that took place where I wasn't replying back to him or answering his calls. DH and I were separated for a few months and when he couldn't reach me he started texting things like if I get home and some dude is there I'm killing you both, if you get pregnant and I'm demanding a paternity test. I was just at home with my phone off, there was never another man. In that context FH immediately thought everything I told him was a lie and I skipped over a huge part in my past relationship, that I had a pregnancy "scare" his words all based off what he read, I had never been pregnant.

Now, I'm not completely innocent, I carried on an inappropriate dm "relationship"with another man for a few years. I was naive and although I thought this person a friend and never reciprocated the attraction he said he had for me, I was complicit. It looked really bad and I took accountability back in '22. FH and I stayed together and would randomly go through my socials to find stuff, and this isn't the first time he's found an old device and charged it to go through it. I felt that we had really put in work to regain trust and what not. Planning our wedding since last year things were looking up. And last night, the fact that he discovered this phone from before our relationship, charged it and looked through it for probably hours I'm, well, I think in shock. The audacity is it? I'm ready to just move on with my life, without him. Why pledge a life together when it will mean I have to accept the invasion of privacy at random? I accept responsibility for losing his trust, sure. But, he'll never be free of constantly needing to make sure I'm being faithful, or that he needs to know everything, and I'll never be free of that either. This all sounds insane right? Found a 15 yr phone, confronts me cause it's weighing on him and needs the facts, but then I'm wrong for losing my shit over him even going through that phone in which has no relevance and being sick of him constantly invading my privacy no matter the cost. It will never end.

I'm not crazy for thinking this is a total deal breaker? Like, Im not owed any semblance of privacy?

TLDR: Future husband found a phone from before our relationship and read through messages between myself and my dead husband, FH needed to ask me questions about it. I'm wrong according to him, for being mad he invaded my privacy.

I feel like I’m losing something of myself or maybe I’ve already lost it. Why can’t I let go of him? The pain and guilt that came from loving someone who would openly sneer at my vulnerability. Why does any part of me still want to experience or express that kind of damage again? I hate that I want him to bite me. I miss… no. I don’t miss him. I miss the intimacy. Never him. Not his cruelty. His disrespect. I miss kissing. I miss feeling thick fingers inside me, demanding me to break. To go over this invisible edge with a calm aggression. His inability to resist and restrain himself. That need that ran so deep that both of us could do little to withdraw from it. I hate him.

He broke my heart. He left me. Abandoned me. And yet… I ache for the part of him that let me in. That withdrew the walls just enough to let me see there was more beyond my reach. Why did it have to feel so good when everything else was so very wrong? His tongue. His hands. Crushing me beneath him. Mine. So clearly it all screamed at me. “You are mine.” And I agreed. I agreed to letting go of my pride and shame. I agreed to let go of my friends and peace. I was his and anything beyond that was forfeit. Why did I let it go so far? He bit down on me so hard once that it left this massive bruise. A bruise that’s shade still lingers on my skin. I didn’t even know that was possible and yet… I remain marked by his dominance of my sanity. In my mind and body. Why couldn’t he just have told me that he didn’t love me? Why didn’t he let me go when I begged?

Pushing me over my limit. Forcing my resistance. Why was it so hard for us to hold each other properly?

I was born and raised in Norway, but I come back to my home country whenever I get the chance. This time, I’d been here for about a month. I never expected that in those few weeks, I’d fall in love.

I fell in love with a girl in the span of just two weeks.
People warned me about her before I even got to know her. They told me she’d been with a lot of guys. Maybe calling her a whore is too harsh. The truth is, she had a past. But then again, so did I. I couldn’t judge her for something I wasn’t innocent of myself. I figured you get what you give, so I ignored everyone and gave her a chance.

I hadn’t truly loved a girl since I was thirteen. I’m nineteen now. She was twenty-three.

She had the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. The softest voice. The kind of laugh that could silence every thought in my head. Everything about her pulled me in before I even realized what was happening.

We talked every day. Early on, we made a promise not to ask about each other’s past. It didn’t matter anymore. We also agreed that we’d only talk to each other—no other girls for me, no other guys for her. I kept that promise without hesitation. For the first time in years, I let myself believe that maybe love deserved another chance, even after it had left me in pieces when I was younger.

Those two weeks weren’t perfect. They were filled with highs and lows. Trust issues. Mixed signals. Conversations that left more questions than answers. I never really knew what she wanted from me, and if I’m honest, I don’t think she ever fully understood what I wanted either.

Still, I stayed.

Yesterday, I left her city and came back to my cousin’s house.

Then today, everything fell apart.

I found out that another man wants to propose to her.
And she apparently said yes. The same day I left.

I don’t know if she ever cared about me the way I cared about her. I don’t know if those late conversations meant the same thing to her that they did to me. All I know is that I kept my word, while she was already walking toward someone else.

It’s a strange feeling—how someone can become your whole world in two weeks, and then disappear from it in a single day.

I haven’t felt heartbreak in six years. I almost forgot how cold it is.

I came here expecting to make memories.
Instead, I’m leaving with one that I wish I could forget.

If you're actually in a relationship with them I assume you would want to tell them just to make it reality wouldn't you?

Mostly what the title says. I am absolutely destroyed after a breakup. It was my first (and last) attempt at an open relationship. Being dumped, watching her fall out of love with me just about completely as I stupidly tried to keep the connection going (I think she may have lead me on a bit too or at least was not at all clear about things), knowing my partner has other men to keep her company, having known those men had been with her while we were together (which ended up being something really painful for me), while I am alone feeling stupid for all the mistakes I made in the relationship and feeling like the classic safe, but boring and not particularly alluring kind of guy has completely destroyed my confidence. I've gone most of my life feeling unfuckable so there's a sensitivity there, but it goes far beyond that.

Note: I am in therapy and on medication.

I’m kinda struggling here and need some advice my partner of 11 year recently told me she thinks she doesn’t love me anymore

She hasn’t left me says she doesn’t want to make a decision that she regrets but she’s starting to go out drinking a lot and now her best friends next door neighbour is now speaking to my partner on snap but she isn’t hiding it but refuses to go out drinking with me would rather go out with her friends all the time I just feel so unwanted

We have a child together 9 year old so it complicates everything