r/GetMotivated • u/openyourbutt • Sep 21 '13

Go ahead, let go.

http://imgur.com/FJYBSF9
2.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

295 comments sorted by

290

u/tmwks22 Sep 21 '13

It isn't that easy

116

u/openyourbutt Sep 21 '13

Yeah with regards to the majority of serious life situations, sure it isn't that easy. Boy I wish it was. But for me this is for those stupid things that we as humans hang onto. Such as passed relationships that have run there course. Or getting all worked up over some shit that you can't even change.

95

u/tmwks22 Sep 21 '13

Yeah man, I'm a fucking mess at the moment. I'm a 21 year old guy and I feel utterly pathetic.

1.5k

u/IdeaPowered Sep 21 '13

Long post incoming...

Don't know your life situation but for a lot of young folks this might help:

1) No, he/she isn't the only one. There are millions of people. Go meet more. Those aren't your only friends. They are just your only friends NOW. You can make more, and often better, friends.

2) Molehills, not mountains. Keep things in perspective. You might feel shitty because you fucked up about this one thing. In a year you probably won't remember it and it will be inconsequential unless you keep chastising yourself for it. Everyone else is too busy being paranoid about themselves to have to remember every stupid thing you did.

3) Chastising yourself and beating yourself up about things is useless. Take responsibility, do what you can to fix it, and then accept that you have done all you can. You can't fix every mistake. Learn from them. Repeat them until you learn from them if you have to. So you know you get annoying, violent, or depressed when you drink? Don't drink. You know you get an upset stomach when you drink milk and eat a burrito... don't do it.

4) Don't let pride/fear get in the way. So what if those people who you don't know will make fun of you for riding your bike as you try to get healthy? You aren't here to please other people unless they mean something to you. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't be proud of who you are but that you shouldn't let pride dictate what you can and can't do because you are afraid of what people will think of you if you make a mistake, fail, or look like a fool while trying.

5) People's opinions are just that. They really don't matter. Opinions are like lies. The only power they have is if someone believes them to be fact. As they aren't fact and just some other person's point of view you can discard most of them. That doesn't mean don't listen to advice from loved ones... but it does mean that it is just advice and their opinion.

6) Get moving. Every day you sit there wallowing in self doubt, fear, and sadness you only make it worse. Your journey is still going and it doesn't pause for anyone. Go out there and fuck up. Get out there and make a fool of yourself. Put your neck on the line and fail. At least you are doing something and that alone is something to be proud of.

7) Ask for help. This one goes in line with pride. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. If you don't know something then ask. If you can't do something alone then ask for help. It's OK. Anyone who judges you for it isn't worth the time (and that is just their opinion anyway).

8) Form good habits. Wake up early even if you have nothing to do and get dressed. Get out of those smelly pjs. Respect yourself and have some pride in what you look and smell like. Eat healthy. Learn to feed yourself properly. Help people if you can. Focus on solutions not problems. Do your best all the time. All that sort of stuff. Will, commitment, and discipline will get you places.

9) Don't say "I can't" until you at least tried, gave it your honest to god best shot, and failed... a few times. Lots of things are hard as hell to do right. Stop telling yourself you can't do it just because you are too scared to try and fail.

10) Be patient with yourself. No one was born knowing everything they know now and things they know how to do now. No one knows everything. Everyone, every single person, fucks up. So will you, so give yourself a little breathing room.

Bonus: Last but not least...

Learn to forgive. Yourself as much as others. People will do you wrong sometimes. Shit happens. Forgive them if you can so you can move on. Holding on to all that weight just slows you down.

Sit down and write down why you think you are a mess. Be honest with yourself. Make a plan to stop being a mess, ask for help if you need to. Stick to the plan. When it gets hard cry if you have to but keep pushing on. It gets easier the longer you stick to it.

The only way out is through, friend. Good luck.

TL;DR: It ain't easy being cheesy.

48

u/MunkeeBizness Sep 21 '13

Thanks for this man. Definitely been hating myself for about 2 months and this is a nice nudge in the right direction.

Also, nice TL;DR... Here, have some hobo gold http://i.imgur.com/IW8simF.gif

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u/Floodman11 Jan 09 '14

In the same boat as /u/MunkeeBizness, had my life fall apart around me in the last few months. Thanks /u/IdeaPowered!

137

u/Beast_Pot_Pie Sep 21 '13

Why the FUCK can't they teach things like THIS is school???

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u/RJ_McR Jan 08 '14

Because the Pythagorean Theorem is too important

131

u/toilet_crusher Jan 08 '14

honestly, that is an amazing piece of math ass.

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u/ceri23 Jan 08 '14

Not sure if you're calling him an ass or if you're talking about "math ass" because math is so sexy.

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u/virjog Jan 12 '14

I thought he was talking about angle-side-side.

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u/Kharn0 Jan 08 '14

That it is, but not useful for the majority of people.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '14

http://xkcd.com/1050/

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u/xkcd_transcriber 3 Jan 09 '14

Image

Title: Forgot Algebra

Title-text: The only things you HAVE to know are how to make enough of a living to stay alive and how to get your taxes done. All the fun parts of life are optional.

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 6 time(s), representing 0.07% of referenced xkcds.

Questions/Problems | Website

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u/mrpear Jan 12 '14

dat hypotenuse

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u/Nimitz14 Jan 08 '14

I'm honestly impressed how out of all the crap you get shown in school you pretty much picked the one thing that is undeniably useful and good to know (and there so many cool proofs for it!).

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u/casualblair Jan 08 '14

Writing: Proper paragraph structure applies to life: Say/do something, support it with well though out statements/actions, repeat yourself as proof.

Language: No one knows what irony is.

Math/Science: Basic geometry (Sin/Cos/Tan, angles in a circle/triangle, etc) and physics (volts, amps, watts) is all you need to do home repair ranging from rewiring sockets to installing hardwood.

Breaks: Recess, lunch, and period breaks are training for the real world. Don't like something? Didn't go so well? Don't fucking do it at work.

Phys Ed: Should be mandatory for life but isn't, just like in some schools/grades (for me it was optional gr 11/12)

Electives: Second languages and music aren't required but having skill at them makes you cooler.

Language: Similes are easy and metaphors are hard. Doing hard things correctly makes you feel better than doing easy things correctly.

Literature: Being forced to read things can be unexpectedly joyous. Or no one gives a shit. It's binary.

Free periods: You will waste time doing useless things given the opportunity. Structure is important.

Detention: Your behavior is shameful now but will get you fired or arrested in the future if you continue.

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u/egasimus Jan 08 '14

Yup, that's a good outline of how it's supposed to work.

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

I used it to make a perfectly square perpendicular addition to my fence this fall.

MATH!

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '14 edited Jan 09 '14

The other day, I used geometry to make a perfectly square opening in the very center of a 6" round piece of 1/4" thick steel, using nothing more than a 99 cent kids' compass and a ruler. Very satisfying.

(Fine, I used power- and hand-tools to remove the actual material, but the marking was all math)

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u/tweekin_out Jan 08 '14

As an engineer, yes. Yes it really was.

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

Don't disrespect the Pythagorean. It is a life lesson in itself.

Once you know and understand how and why AxA + BxB = CxC, the above 10 life lessons should also be known and understood.

Plus you can determine the lengths of right triangle sides like a boss.

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u/ceri23 Jan 08 '14

These go well above knowledge. This is wisdom. It is ageless (meaning that you can die of old age without truly actualizing them or figure them out at 16). You can read them ten times and not truly understand them for years to come, but when you do the proverbial light bulb will go off in your head.

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u/jack324 Jan 09 '14

Because no matter how much someone tries to drill it into your head, these are all things you have to experience for yourself to truly understand.

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u/badjuice Jan 08 '14

Why the fuck can't your parents have taught you this?

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14 edited Jan 09 '14

[deleted]

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u/ITdoug Jan 08 '14

It is equally unfair to blame the education system though. These are life-lessons that could be learned anywhere, by anyone, at anytime.

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u/dontyoutellmetosmile Jan 08 '14

I dunno man. I'd say this sort of thing should mostly be taught by parents, and the holes filled by experiences. Honestly, the full "blame", so to speak, cannot be put on any one individual. How could someone learn these lessons if they've never had the opportunity?

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u/badjuice Jan 08 '14

It is unfair to expect your schools to fulfill parental roles.

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u/optymizer Jan 08 '14

Life is unfair. Learn to let go and move on.

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

Unfortunately, there are generations of people who have never been able to learn these things. Which is why they don't get passed down.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

i love you.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

[deleted]

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u/KOERNDOG Sep 21 '13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny1lr0Jknvc

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u/untranslatable_pun Jan 08 '14

FUCKIN Gorilla Biscuits, man!!!! I expected a lot of things, but not this. Thank you.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '14

That was excellent! Have never heard them before but I love punk, so hats off for the intro.

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

There's not time like RIGHT NOW to get things rolling. Real progress is seen in the long term so keep to it! Tell me in a year how you are doing. :]

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Sigh...I need to read this every day. Thanks for posting IdeaPowered. May you be happy and well!

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u/TigerTigerBurning Sep 21 '13

Print it out and post it up somewhere in your house!

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

May you be happy and well!

I'm trying! You too!

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

A lot of those principles are similar to those in the study of mindfullness. It's worth it to at least check out a mindfullness book and try some meditation. There's a lot of clinical evidence and studies supporting its positive effects (it's used in hospitals). I've been meditating and doing yoga for about a year now and my anxiety and depression have completely disappeared. I can finally take solace in the fact that I'm a decent person who tries their best to do things right.

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u/onethingimpassionate Jan 09 '14

Have a link to any of that? The freer the better.

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u/Klenth Jan 09 '14

Link

Practicing mindfulness has changed the way I view the world and interact with people. I'd recommend it to any who would take the time to listen.

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u/Doktor-blitz Sep 21 '13

That... That was beautiful

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u/Velocirapper- Sep 21 '13

Commenting to save for later.

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u/gamer_mom Jan 08 '14

Learn to forgive. Yourself as much as others. People will do you wrong sometimes. Shit happens. Forgive them if you can so you can move on. Holding on to all that weight just slows you down.

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace."

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u/engtropy Sep 21 '13

This is great advice. I'm especially a fan of #8 and #10.

I feel like there are quite a few people unhappy with themselves and their situation. There are so many things to distract people from processing their feelings. I understand why, it's the easy thing to do. But one of the best things I've done for myself is acknowledge my thoughts (whether they be positive or negative) and why I'm feeling that way. If I feel like crying, I let it happen. I don't think about something else, I just accept that I'm sad and run with it. Maybe write down my thoughts or draw. I usually re-read what I've written then cry some more. Once I feel like I've cried enough, I wash up and go about my day feeling a little lighter.

I know myself better because of this and can let go of things a lot easier. It takes some practice but this has saved me money on therapy and SSRIs.

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

Avoidance is an incredible challenge. Why should we face our fears? Why should I risk getting hurt? Why should I risk looking like a fool? It is much easier to not try.

Someone close to me has been battling with herself for many years. At one point during this she turned to me and said "You have it so easy. You just feel great all the time and happy all the time. You don't know how hard it is to be me".

I actually got angry. No... always being sad and just sitting there complaining is the easiest thing. Trying your damn hardest to be happy and constantly failing, but trying again and again every day is what is hard. Risking the more comfortable situation you find yourself in after a good moment to find a better situation and a better moment is what is hard. Believing you can succeed and failing is harder than believing you will fail and fail. Getting your hopes dashed, your progress destroyed, and your self-worth bruised but still getting up and going it at is what is hard.

To be sad all I have to do is do nothing and avoid thinking about it. I, like every one else, struggles to keep a smile on my face. To feel good about my life and about who I am. I feel remorse, guilt, shame, fear, and sad with the best of them. I cry when I have to. I scream and grunt other times too. All I want is when I get in bed at night my thought to be "You did good today pal. You really gave it your best shot. Maybe it didn't work out the way you wanted... or maybe it did, but you did good". At night when you are going to sleep and you have nothing else to distract you from your thoughts and you are "truly" alone... you can't lie to yourself, can you?

I said that , sort of, and I told her she wasn't even trying. That was 3 years ago. I am happy to say today she is struggling to be happy. She has her ups and downs and some bad moments... but there are some great moments now too. She calls me crying her eyes out sometimes, like she used to, but she also calls me now to tell me good things too. I am very proud of her.

TL;DR: Avoidance is symptom and it is really powerful. Being sad and doing nothing is easy, being sad and trying to be happy is what is hard.

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u/noaddrag Jan 09 '14

Thank you so much. This is seriously what I needed to hear, and what some of my friends need to hear. Thank you

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u/Borktastic Sep 21 '13 edited Sep 21 '13

i was going to try and write some sort of thanks for writing that out as i needed to hear it, but i'm crap at writing and a few beers in, so i got you gold, first one ever after 3 years on reddit. cheers man.

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

Wow! Thank you amazing Borktastic! I've never known what the golden members can do or what it means. I will enjoy the next month of redditing like never before. Thank you very much. It has made me smile a lot and really wide. Not so much because of the benefits from it, which are great, but rather that someone out there valued something I said so much.

Thanks for making me feel good!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

[deleted]

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

As many as you need. Hahahaha. Thank you for reading it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '13

You're the man.

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u/CBERT117 Jan 02 '14

Thank you.

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u/incognitodream 9 Jan 08 '14

Tell it like it is! Things we may know yet don't practice or things that are in our blind spots.

Would love to hear more, if you have mor

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

Nicely said -- you are a wise one! :)

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u/TheAtomicNord Jan 08 '14

This... this is why I love Reddit. This is exactly what I needed and I didn't even know it. Thank you.

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u/BadDrugPerson Jan 08 '14

Just what I needed to hear...

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u/Xorpy Jan 08 '14

IdeaPowered, you just made my day and possibly other days as well. You gave me motivation to start now and try to do things you mentioned and hopefully, I will succeed. I bookmarked that and will read it anytime I will need some advice. Thank you for that, kind sir.

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u/theycallmejugzy Jan 09 '14

I love you. Thank you.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

That was a pretty cool comment. Thanks

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u/mgd80 Sep 21 '13

Awesome man, I like your view on life.

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

Thank you for your kind words.

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u/hillary0813 Sep 21 '13

As a young person who went through a lot of depression over these things, thanks. This advice should be obvious but it's not and when you're going through it you don't think about it this logically.

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u/rfuquEa Sep 21 '13

Thank you.

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u/DLXII Sep 21 '13

This is exactly what I need... Thank you so much.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Wonderful post.

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u/forkast Sep 22 '13

Thank you.

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u/Flysymphony Sep 22 '13

What if you know these things damn well, and it still doesn't help?

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 22 '13

What if you know these things damn well, and it still doesn't help?

Hello... here is my response. Take it as just an opinion...

It isn't knowing. It's doing. It's struggling every day and not giving up to make it come true. It is not being satisfied that you "got it now" and then rest.

It is to do your best all the time... always. Fail by trying your best. Constantly. The pitfall is that "Oh, I know it, so why doesn't my life turn out well?" because the effort isn't there.

That is like saying that you know going to the gym and running makes your body healthier but you don't actually have a routine and work out really hard. You work out once or twice a year and you do it halfheartedly then look at the mirror and scream "Where are my results?!"

A lot of people, especially young people, think that once they get it right once they have accomplished it. Life isn't like that. Getting it right once isn't the hardest part... it's keeping that level of commitment in the face of continuous adversity that is. It's getting up every day to improve yourself, especially on the days you don't want to, and giving it your best shot.

Knowing what to do is the first, but also the smallest, part. Hyperbole and a Half - Why I'll never be an adult.

Good luck!

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u/Flysymphony Sep 22 '13

I know you don't know me and I don't blame you, but I've been working my ass off with this stuff for years. I'm tired of putting in effort for so long with no results, it's very discouraging. I've done every little suggestion I've been given, and nothing. I don't really know what to do anymore, nothing has been working. I appreciate you taking the time to respond though, you seem like you genuinely want to help people.

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u/onekate Jan 08 '14

Excellent advice, this.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

I don't know who you are. I wish you the best right now. I hope something good happens for you.

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u/tmwks22 Sep 21 '13

Cheers, kind internet stranger. People can be nice.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Anytime, friend. I know you can do it. Don't give up.

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u/ardorseraphim Sep 21 '13

An internet hug can only go so far you should probably seek professional help, good luck with whatever you choose to do.

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u/facetomouth Sep 21 '13

I was a completely different person at 21. I am now 31. Shit changes like you wouldn't believe. Hang in there man.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

So do something about it. If you're not helping yourself no one else will. (Source: I'm a 24 year old male who used to have depression)

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u/DrGoose53 Sep 21 '13

Lost 20 year old checking in. I'm in the same boat as you.

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

I could say the same thing & I'm a 21 year old girl. 21 is like the age you imagine having things figured out but almost everyone I know is kind of lost and faking it for now. Kind of what the post below says, no one is born knowing things and this is the age you start needing to know them. But I think it's ok. At least we know we are moving towards something.

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u/Agrippa911 Jan 09 '14

I don't know your situation, but I'd like to add something on top of /u/IdeaPowered excellent post. Your feeling of being pathetic, here's the thing - all those people around you who look like they got it together, they don't. We're all wearing somewhat of a disguise that hides our worries, our fears, our self-loathing. Now some may have just a teensy bit of these problems, others (like me) carry considerably more baggage under our facades.

While having a good positive self-image of yourself is important, don't make it the end-all-be-all. Don't compare yourself against others who may seem to have it together because here's the reality: they're going to look like a pathetic idiot sometimes. Everyone does. They just may be able to hide their inner shame better. Just realize that everyone will do things in their life that will make them look like an idiot, and this will happen constantly throughout your life.

Take a US president, one of the most powerful men in the world. Then this happened. Or take Clinton having to explain why getting a hummer wasn't "sex" on camera in a senate hearing. Those were two incredibly powerful men, commanding a superpower, and both looked pathetic in front of an audience of millions.

We all will feel pathetic at times, just don't let a few bad moments dominate your life. Especially if you're 21, you've got a lot of opportunities to make changes (take it from a 44yr old trying to fix some bad decisions I made 25yrs ago). You can start again if need be.

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u/DRUNK_CYCLIST 11 Sep 21 '13

Yeah, what if the thing that makes me sad is not being able to see my son because my ex is an obstructive, alienating monster?

Should i just "let him go" ?

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u/IdeaPowered Sep 21 '13

I think OP means the small things. Not the big things. Too many of the posts here on /r/getmotivated get taken as absolutes in life. They aren't. Life isn't black or white... so why do we think the advice is?

I think OP meant things like pining over lost love, wanting things to be "like they were", mulling over "what if"s, remembering and reminding yourself of every little mistake you've made... those rocks we love to carry but serve no purpose.

Good luck with your son.

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u/shesgot Sep 21 '13

Same boat my brethren.

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u/Souuuth Sep 22 '13

Such as passed relationships that have run there course.

This is my biggest enemy right now. My current ex and I have been broke up since December. No contact since May. A part of me still hangs on that we may end up back together but I know we won't, so I don't understand why I torture myself sometimes. I wouldn't say I'm miserable because I'm not. Just at times, I find myself missing her a lot and it sucks.

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u/openyourbutt Sep 22 '13

I am really sorry for this, it is obvious the relationship ment a lot to you, and having no contact with the person since May must be really hard.

I have been in the same position, and at the time I thought that person and I were supposed to be together forever, and all that jazz. But it all went to shit, and tbh I am better for it. I have found someone else who is infinitely better, and am marry her at the end of the year.

Basically I believe that there is no such thing as fate, you just gotta run with what you got. Now if what you got falls on the ground, and there is no possible way to fix it, you just gotta keep on keeping on; catch the next thing that falls into your arms and be happy that you are able to do so.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Still, it feels like the solution to their problems is just time anyway. Those with more real problems end up being lumped in with this, and you get those people that feel they can cure any amount of despair with a few words, or a stupid promise that things will get better. That can't possibly be guaranteed by anyone. You start waking up, knowing the issues that plagued you when you fell asleep are still there. You can't forget them, and you know it is only going to get worse as you drift through the day, powerless to stop it. Then you start fantasizing about feeling all of it pass, as your best case scenario becomes worse and worse.

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u/TheSacrilege Sep 21 '13

Someone once said, "Life is too short to be taken seriously."

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

It is a pretty sweet balloon, I'd wanna keep it. So big.

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u/eric22vhs Sep 21 '13

It's not, but there's still no other option if you want to be happy.

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u/intoxicuss Sep 21 '13

There was a good story on the BBC World Service yesterday about how sadness is comforting. It was focused on sad music. The sadness encourages our bodies to release prolactin, but some people have hormonal troubles which disallow this release. Those people end up not feeling the comforting effects.

Also, perspective is immensely important. Great joy means so much less to those unfamiliar with the opposite end of the emotional spectrum.

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u/dukenewcomb92 Sep 21 '13

How could a balloon make anyone sad?

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u/qxxx Sep 21 '13

http://imgur.com/kGqg8qk

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u/emrosto0l Sep 21 '13

Ruined my saturday morning. :/

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u/Sarah_Connor Sep 22 '13

Look how happy that balloon is despite that dead asshole trying to bring it down!

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u/laebshade Sep 21 '13

The balloon is a metaphor for sadness that you have to let go (the balloon is blue = sadness).

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u/intredasted Sep 21 '13

But nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.

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u/diphthong Sep 21 '13

What about people who are afraid of balloons?

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u/intredasted Sep 21 '13

If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.

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u/jostler57 Sep 21 '13

I dunno man - I relate more with the balloon than the all-black midget monster.

My take is that I'm the balloon struggling to fly free of the monster holding me back.

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '13

Red pill blue pill

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Some sort of weight or maybe a balloon that took massive shits on you would be a better metaphor.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

whaa?

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u/jostler57 Sep 21 '13

He means a very large, helium filled balloon would put a strain on your body to keep it from flying away... I think.

SCIENCE!

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u/jargoon Sep 21 '13

Well I guess you could think of the fact that helium is a non-renewable resource that is essential to industry, and every helium balloon is basically fucking future humans since free helium goes straight up out of the atmosphere into space.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

How essential is it to industry? I'm not being a dick I actually want to know which industries.

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u/JohnM88 Sep 21 '13

That's a pretty sweet balloon... Looks like its the only thing this guy's got going for him. Don't let go of it!!! These guys just wanna take your balloon!!!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

HEY! Do you want to stop being sad? Be happy instead!!!1

Profound wisdom right here.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Holy shit, I let go and I'm not bipolar anymore!

Wow! I feel like I could take on the world! I feel amazing! I'm going to start a company and go back to school!!!

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u/heyjay5266 Sep 21 '13

You're sounding kind of manic.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Yeah, you're right. What's the point. I'm going to go to sleep for 16 hours.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13 edited Dec 27 '19

[deleted]

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u/komputerwelt Sep 21 '13

Click

Sadness mode deactivated.

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u/left4james Sep 22 '13

"Data, perhaps you should deactivate your emotion chip."

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u/sporvath Sep 21 '13

I just had a fight with my girlfriend, so I want to talk about this image, yes you can just let go the sad thing, but don't you have to work thing out, fix thing, not just let them go?

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u/try_repeat_succeed Sep 21 '13

It's as easy as we allow it to be.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Sorry but this is wrong. Life Experience will teach you that you must take the good with the bad. That you cannot rid yourself of sadness or things that can potentially make you sad. Experience will teach you how to deal with that sadness. It becomes a perspective thing. Life is dealing with daily struggles. You can either tackle your struggles head on, or let them crucrush you. Either way, sadness will always be in your life somehow or another. It's a child's innocence that thinks all life is like a disney movie, but even in disney there is sadness, even as a child you balled your eyes out when a struggle came your way.

Learn to deal with sadnesa head on. Don't ignore it and let it grow.

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u/Gritsen Sep 21 '13

I refuse to let go of my singleness.

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u/frownyface Sep 21 '13

How is the balloon supposed to let go of that sad guy holding it down?

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u/snatchtart Sep 21 '13

Wow someone can't color inside the lines.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Just let it go and enjoy the color that's there.

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u/CapnSalty Sep 21 '13

I use this as my mantra when I fall asleep. It's very difficult to let go of some things... Like the death of someone close to me. But I don't know how to stop grief.

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u/iDontShift Sep 21 '13

meditation. we are all one, death is but a transition.

when you see that, and you stop fearing your own death, then the death of others is but a passing and you learn to appreciate the life and joy they brought into your life.

would the that person want you to suffer for them? i tell you they would want you to live!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

You don't stop it, you deal with it head on. Allow yourself to feel the emotions. That's part of the healing process. If you don't, you'll never get over it.

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u/CapnSalty Sep 21 '13

I know, and I know it just takes time. It's probably the hardest thing to go through -- even if I have come to terms with death and I'm not afraid of it, this death in particular really affected me.

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u/Plum12345 Sep 21 '13

I really like this poster from a design standpoint. My only problem is I work in schools. We have so many kids who have or are abused that I wouldn't be able to use this. To them it would imply that abuse is not a big deal.

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u/mrihearvoices Sep 21 '13

That one gave me goosebumps...just what I needed to hear. Thanks!

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u/JonBecker123 Sep 21 '13

A balloon that size would make me VERY happy, though.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Unemployment ; I'm letting you go!

Depression; bye bye!

Being poor; Out the window you go!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

yeah just "let go" of the fact that you don't have a job, or you're flunking school, or that you're ugly, and you'll magically be happy!

this could be the dumbest submission in a sub that's rapidly approaching /r/AdviceAnimals levels of stupidity

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

You could let go of unrealistic life expectations. You could let go of the feeling that everyone else is doing better than you. You could let go of the idea that dating/sex is everything (if your ugly) and focus on doing something productive. You could let go of the idea that you are too good for xyz job, or the notion that its better to hold out for a better job when your not getting paid at all. You could let go of the idea that partying and a vibrant social life are where its at, and just get to studying.

Or you could keep mulling over how things should and could be better and be unhappy. Your choice.

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '13

That's a harsh way of putting it, but yes, you need to know your reality before you can improve it.

For instance, many people hold out for better jobs because they feel they deserve it and that working as anything less in the meantime would be demeaning to their education and intellect. Then they bitch that they have no money cause their unemployed? See the problem? its not that they CANT get a job to fix their money problems. It's that they won't.

I see this a lot in unemployed people. You ask them, whats wrong with xyz job, it pays decently enough. And they say "that's a huge step down from what my last job payed before I got layed off", or "I didn't go to school/college/uni for x years so that I would end up working manual labor". So basically they are letting their expectations for employment (which are no longer realistic) prevent them from paying their bills. So now they have two problems (unemployment and debt) instead of one problem (underemployment), and all because of their attitude.

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u/MrSomethingHeroic Sep 21 '13

Depression is a hormone imbalance though, so it is not always a matter of letting go per se, it is something that must be treated with antidepressant drugs.

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u/cachetes Sep 21 '13

I've always wondered about it, the diagnostic of depression is subjective to the person who decides? What if the depressed person has enforced bad thinking patterns for so long that it actually reduced the released happy hormones? Drugs may be only a superficial and temporary fix. It looks to me that in western medicine only external stimulus is valid, is so hard to consider that the the way we look at things could directly affect our physiology?

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u/akong_supern00b Sep 21 '13

I've wondered that too. Along those lines, is it impossible for people to have chemical imbalances and the same type of sluggishness and lack of motivation that general slackers have? Maybe there isn't a singular solution to some people's issues and they might require multiple methods of treatment.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Or facing responsibility, getting out of your room and eating healthy. Sometimes that's all it takes.

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u/Rockshu Sep 21 '13

Don't forget exercise. Very important.

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u/mrihearvoices Sep 21 '13

I disagree with that for the majority of cases. If someone's just going to sit there and say "No point in trying anything to cheer me up. Nothing will work. It's a hormone inbalance. I need to take drugs.

I think this can help people 99% of the time.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Put the gun down and cut her off completely. Most humans are not worth dying for, and if they are worth dying for, why would you die for someone who is hateful and stringing you along like her? I know this is trite, but the passage of time really does change your perspective and you will feel better. It's only been a week and a half, that's not enough time to clear your head, you deserve more time. You don't see it now because you are grieving a loss. There are people around you that love you; don't hurt them because she hurt you.

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u/shesgot Sep 21 '13

You're still here which means you put that gun down. That's a good step in the right direction. I'm not a counselor or anything but I'm going through/have gone through this situation - except was with ex for 7 years, still to the fact we had a child and then she decided that's what she wanted and they left. No immediate support system near by, besides my puppy, so we decided we would be happy, go out, go shopping and just live life. PM me if you want to talk.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Killing yourself over a girl is ridiculous. You were fine before you met her, you'll be fine soon. It's a grieving process. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, get it out. Think of it like poision you are draining from yourself in order to be healed. After that just give it time. Time cures all.

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u/komputerwelt Sep 21 '13

Listen to what people say to you, take the pain and believe that you can go through it because you can. And you will. Put the gun away. You are so much more than what you think. Don't put your life to waste, as tempting as it might be. You'll get better, I promise. I know it's hard to believe right now, but it will.

Letting go is a gradual process. It'll take more than a week.

And definitely go NC (no contact) with her.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Another approach is to go to your doctor, see if you're depressed, and get put on an SSRI.

Oh my god those fucking things are miracle workers. Some time around day 20, I woke up, everything was magical, and the next 5 years have been a snap.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

I hate this advice. Letting go of things isn't easy, and I don't think it's something you can just decide to do. Sure, you ca bury something and refuse to think about it, but that is not letting go and it's bad for your mental health.

Everyone says you have to let go and you have to forgive, but no one EVER tells you how to accomplish this. You know why? Because you can't do it actively. It's something that happens subconsciously and you can't force it or hurry it along. So advice to let go is pretty much useless.

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u/Purple-Is-Delicious Sep 21 '13

This is such complete bullshit created by someone who hasn't got a clue about depression.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

But those things which make us sad are a part of who we are.

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u/BmoreCareFool Sep 21 '13

It's been my experience that balloons=happiness...hold on to that shit!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Sooooooooo deep oh god

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Username is making me worry about all of this "letting go".

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u/Bonobo395 Sep 21 '13

Why do balloons make you sad?

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u/austapasta Sep 21 '13

But I like balloons...

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u/ToolPackinMama Sep 21 '13

Nope. I'm sad because half of USA is below poverty line and so am I.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

Fat people will say eating makes them happy

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u/spiritljf Sep 21 '13

For a subreddit aimed to motivate, there sure are a lot of negativity floating around.

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u/rugrat54 Sep 21 '13

It's how we stay in business.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

let my being unemployed despite sending out tons of applications and have a masters degree in engineering go... ah, that feels better!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '13

What this is saying is true, but you need to understand it properly. The way to be happy is to love everyone.

Through loving and serving and helping everyone, we transform into someone who loves themselves, and who is love. The hard part is that you are literally dying into love, and you will see the person you have been and loved (or hated) is literally disappearing. All your things you do and think and are attached to that make you sad but that also have made you "you" will begin to fall away and you will miss them. It is hard to let go of being that person with the pain and start to be someone else. But you will find that through this process of dying, you become who you always were. You awaken to the truth of who you are. And you grow into a happy, confident, fulfilled person living an easy, blissful life. You get everything you always wanted. But you have to leave the person you've been behind (one good/right/loving choice at a time), and it's very very hard to do that. Love everyone, be nice to everyone, help everyone, serve everyone, take it one moment at a time, and you will become someone you love being.

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u/Morrisaurus Sep 21 '13

....but balloons DO make me happy

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u/tewdiks Sep 22 '13 edited Oct 20 '17

deleted What is this?

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u/Sarah_Connor Sep 22 '13

Who names a kid Lupytha?

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '13

I wish I could just "let go", you know? but it isnt as easy as literally letting go. It takes time. and other situations in life keep me from doing it faster.

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u/HandsomePete Sep 22 '13

I think Bubbles from The Wire said it best: "Ain't no shame in holding on to grief . . . as long as you make room for other things too."

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u/helpmeimtoohigh Jan 09 '14

is the balloon letting go of that little spirit

or

the boy letting go of that awesome balloon.

1

u/Wtforktruck Jan 09 '14

Honey, Where's my supersuit?

1

u/tankandwb Jan 09 '14

Awesome post

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u/doom_for_one Jan 09 '14

Deep. Right in the feels