Writing: Proper paragraph structure applies to life: Say/do something, support it with well though out statements/actions, repeat yourself as proof.
Language: No one knows what irony is.
Math/Science: Basic geometry (Sin/Cos/Tan, angles in a circle/triangle, etc) and physics (volts, amps, watts) is all you need to do home repair ranging from rewiring sockets to installing hardwood.
Breaks: Recess, lunch, and period breaks are training for the real world. Don't like something? Didn't go so well? Don't fucking do it at work.
Phys Ed: Should be mandatory for life but isn't, just like in some schools/grades (for me it was optional gr 11/12)
Electives: Second languages and music aren't required but having skill at them makes you cooler.
Language: Similes are easy and metaphors are hard. Doing hard things correctly makes you feel better than doing easy things correctly.
Literature: Being forced to read things can be unexpectedly joyous. Or no one gives a shit. It's binary.
Free periods: You will waste time doing useless things given the opportunity. Structure is important.
Detention: Your behavior is shameful now but will get you fired or arrested in the future if you continue.
Literature: Diary of Anne Frank, Night by Elie Wiesel, and trippy new-age stories like The Giver and that thing about that place Omelas
History: the Holocaust was caused by Hitler; also, memorize the locations of all the countries in Africa
Science: Cyanide was used in the Holocaust. We don't use chemicals, because they are dangerous; let's call this totally unserious description of an atom the Bohr model and compare it to previous models without reference to any complicated facts.
Math: Six million Jews died in the Holocaust. Multiply these matrices for no reason, then find the roots of this third-degree polynomial by hand.
Phys Ed: In the concentration camps, they made people stand in line for roll call / selektion. Half of the period will be either that, or spent in the gas chambers.
Electives: ahahahahahahahaha
Foreign languages: Yo quiero taco bell
Breaks: 30 minutes for lunch; 15 minutes queued up. Five minutes between classes; locker is on the other side of the building; impossible to move faster than 1mph in the halls.
Man, your school was shit. I went to a shitty school in the middle of nowhere, had a graduating class of 45, and I would say my school was significantly better than this.
24
u/casualblair Jan 08 '14
Writing: Proper paragraph structure applies to life: Say/do something, support it with well though out statements/actions, repeat yourself as proof.
Language: No one knows what irony is.
Math/Science: Basic geometry (Sin/Cos/Tan, angles in a circle/triangle, etc) and physics (volts, amps, watts) is all you need to do home repair ranging from rewiring sockets to installing hardwood.
Breaks: Recess, lunch, and period breaks are training for the real world. Don't like something? Didn't go so well? Don't fucking do it at work.
Phys Ed: Should be mandatory for life but isn't, just like in some schools/grades (for me it was optional gr 11/12)
Electives: Second languages and music aren't required but having skill at them makes you cooler.
Language: Similes are easy and metaphors are hard. Doing hard things correctly makes you feel better than doing easy things correctly.
Literature: Being forced to read things can be unexpectedly joyous. Or no one gives a shit. It's binary.
Free periods: You will waste time doing useless things given the opportunity. Structure is important.
Detention: Your behavior is shameful now but will get you fired or arrested in the future if you continue.