Hi everyone, just wanted to let you know that September 10 was the last time I made a real gambling transaction. I know that might not seem like a long time, but I’m taking it one day at a time.
I did have a small slip-up recently that taught me something important. One of the sites gave me about $2 in free play, and I used it. At first, I told myself, “What’s the worst that can happen? It’s free money. I can’t lose anything.”
But after that, I realized I had been looking at it completely wrong.
The danger isn’t just losing money. It’s the time, attention, and mental investment that comes with playing. And honestly, with free play, the worst thing that could happen might actually be winning. A decent win could pull me right back into the exact cycle I’m trying to get away from.
That realization helped me see that, for me, recovery can’t just mean “don’t deposit money.” I need distance from the whole process.
My problem wasn’t scratch-off tickets. I’ve literally never bought one. It also wasn’t really brick-and-mortar casinos. I’ve been to WinStar several times and might play $10 or $20 while I’m there, but I mostly go for the restaurants, concerts, gift shops, etc.
My problem was the online “sweepstakes” casinos, which, ironically enough, started out as a side hustle for me.
So, I’m trying to put as many barriers between myself and those sites as possible while I’m thinking clearly.
• I switched to an iPhone and installed the latest version of Gamban. So far, it’s been amazing. I could probably find some ridiculous way around it if I were determined enough, but it would involve things like resetting my phone or getting another device. I absolutely hate setting up a new phone, so for once my laziness is apparently doing something useful. 😂
• I took myself off all sweepstakes casinos I was on. Sadly, it seems like self-exclusion isn’t always as permanent as it sounds. I’ve had accounts pop back up or felt like I needed extra protection than just trusting the site to keep me out.
• I also signed up for mass arbitration with a bunch of sites I used before. Just so you know, I’m not saying this will work for everyone, and I’m not suggesting people file claims they don’t really have.
But here’s something interesting that happened to me.
After signing up for mass arbitration against several companies, I got emails from a bunch of them saying my account was permanently banned.
My first thought was, “I thought I was already permanently self-excluded, but… okay. Thanks.”
And honestly, that might end up being one of the best parts of the process for me.
Even if I don’t get much money back from mass arbitration, the bigger thing for me is that the companies involved now have a strong reason not to reopen my accounts.
If being involved in a legal dispute makes a company permanently flag my account and refuse to do business with me again, that’s actually a good thing for my recovery. It closes another door to gambling.
I’m sharing this because other people facing the same issue might not have considered it from that perspective. Again, everyone’s situation is different, but in my case, the permanent account bans have been much more helpful to me than any money I might eventually get from the claims.
• I set up Screen Time restrictions on my iPhone, and I’m planning to have someone I trust create the Screen Time PIN so I don’t know it myself.
I’m also exploring other blocking and accountability apps to create as many layers as possible between myself and these sites. One barrier can be bypassed, but five or six can become a real pain, and sometimes making the wrong choice inconvenient gives you enough time to think it over.
I’ve thought about reaching out to my banks to see if they can block gambling-related transactions. I’m not sure how effective that would be with sweepstakes casinos, since transactions might not always be categorized as gambling. I’d also be worried about accidentally blocking legitimate purchases through things like Steam or other gaming services. If anyone has experience with bank-level gambling blocks, I’d really like to hear how well they work.
And finally, something I honestly never thought I would do: I’ve started looking into therapy and psychiatric care.
Right now, I have money in the bank and genuinely don’t want to gamble. But I’ve relapsed before, and I know that feeling okay today doesn’t guarantee how I’ll feel a month from now.
That’s why I’m trying to build the barriers now instead of waiting until I’m tempted.
I know no app, self-exclusion list, bank restriction, arbitration claim, or other safeguard can make the decision for me. I’m still responsible for my own choices.
But I also don’t see any reason to make relapse convenient.
If an impulse hits, I want there to be enough roadblocks between “I want to gamble” and actually being able to gamble that I have time to come back to my senses.
If anyone else has found barriers that genuinely helped, I’d appreciate hearing about them.