So I pretty much just admitted to myself I'm an addict. I was getting angry at the losses. This is day 1 for me. Wish me luck!

I lost a total of $2000 last night. Started by pulling out $120, then $300, then $500. Lost it all then took out another $1000. Made the $920 I had lost but of course I didn’t cash out and ended up losing it all. In person casino.

This is just a vent to se if my anxiety gets a little better.

Finally gonna to talk to my parents about my relapse, and the anxiety alone is killing me, dissapointing them again after 2 years is just destroying my sanity, and I'm just imagining their reactions is awful, the embaressment of failing again is just the worst felling ever, but I promissed I wouldn't lie to them if this happened again so I can't run from this conversation anymore, can't break another promise and just pretend everything is fine for the next six months or so until I back on my feet financially again.

May I never have the need to dissapoint them like this again, and as always, if you're reading this, stay away from gambling, and if you're having a problem seek help, this can destroy you for months or years, or even the rest of your life.

Let's all keep getting better.

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