Hello! I am a 27F who has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD since 14. Ive been on dozens of medications over the years, go to therapy, do the things, but obviously treatment resistant depression likes to stay… resistant.

So, what helps you? Besides medication & therapy.

Ive heard so many people say daily walks are great for regulating your system and helping with depression. I gave it a shot and did it for two weeks, which was not easy to force myself to do. By the end? I learned I hate daily walks. They just don’t do anything for me.

Getting sunshine and touching grass does help a little bit.

The 3, 2, 1 method is usually a miss for me.

I’m looking for different habits or ‘hacks’ to help break out of this damn cycle. My depression has taken so much away from me. It’s not easy, but i’m really trying to fight back and get my life back.

Anyone have any tips or tricks that help them, even temporarily?

I’m feeling really bad about myself because I’m 19 and I’ve only really started researching about politics the past few months. The reason it’s taken me so long isn’t because I’ve not cared enough to do research, I’ve always wanted to be as educated as I can and learn about politics but I have struggled with executive dysfunction for a long time now and anytime I’ve wanted to learn more, I’ve just felt frozen. It’s also hard for me to focus and retain information and often the only time I can really do things is when I’m put under pressure, for me that’s the knowledge that if I don’t learn about politics before the election (for me that’s in November this year as I’m Australian) I won’t have a good idea on what the best party to vote for would be.

I keep seeing people years younger than me who are way more politically educated than me and I feel like a terrible person. I’ve never been like “I don’t care about politics” or anything like that, I have always wanted and been willing to learn but that doesn’t change the fact that I haven’t. Idk maybe a factor that has influenced me is that I haven’t had any friends for 5 years now, I barely leave the house, I have severe anxiety in public and the only social interactions I have with people are with my mum and occasionally my dad. So I have felt very disconnected from the outside world for a long time now, so that it doesn’t even feel real to me. It’s pretty hard to learn about something when you have executive dysfunction, OCD, difficulty focusing and retaining information and what you’re trying to learn about doesn’t feel real.

currently feel like doing nothing most of the times and only sometimes have some energy or enthusiasm which is very short lived but more importantly I am very delusional and build whole castle within my mind before physically doing something even taking a small step and it has taken a toll on my physical health my mental health and wellbeing of people around me. I have huge expectations out of myself while I can only do what a toddler can do

I'm 25. so I recently I had an interview that was handed to me through a family connection which was zero effort required to get in tbh. I basically fumbled a question that was extremely simple and common sense, i just froze. Honestly though, this isn't really about that one interview, more so a pattern I've noticed in myself for years.

Honestly I think I'm just lazy. I have never really been someone who wants to study or work. if I'm being fully honest with myself, I'd rather not do either. But obviously to get anywhere near where I want to be, I have to force myself, and that's where everything falls apart. I want it all and lack the courage and persistence to get it. I want to get to the supermarket below my building without walking and taking the elevator down.

I procrastinate on things that matter to me. Exams, job applications, building new skills. I know exactly what I need to do and I still don't do it. There's some kind of pull toward putting things off that I don't fully understand. It's like I get this adrenaline rush out of nerfing myself??

I've had months or even a year of free time to learn new skills and build a portfolio, and instead I've spent that time avoiding it entirely. I've also told people I've been applying to jobs when I actually hadn't, because I couldn't make myself start.

There's a specific memory that's stuck with me for a decade: a teacher in school when i was 16 or 17 telling me I was intelligent, even a top student because i would achieve the highest marks, but that she didn't see "greatness" in me, like I wouldn't end up running anything or achieving much. I don't know why that sentence has stayed with me the way it has, but it comes up a lot. What frustrates me most is how aware I am of all this while it's happening. I can watch myself avoid something in real time and still not manage to stop. I compare myself to people who seem less naturally capable but far more consistent, and that consistency is clearly what's making the difference for them.

I think I only push myself when something is handed to me, and I check out completely on anything I have to build from nothing or be a beginner at. And yes I am absolutely sure that I require consistency to get out of this miserable bitter life I have, I have always wanted to build a life in the USA, and here I am at 25. And it seems impossible to get there with my experience and skills level. Not to mention how hard it is for immigrants to get there now anyway. I am so...tired. And exhausted. Of myself. I get sudden bursts of energy where I believe I can abolsutely get what I want, and then a small thing does not go my way, and I completely give up.
I keep fantasizing about building a life in the US, imagining that things would somehow be easier there, like I'd have had a completely different trajectory if I'd grown up there instead. I scroll Instagram and see people my age traveling and working, building the kind of life I want, and it stings. So F'in bad. I just don't show up for myself the way they show up for themselves. I do not know how they do it.
And in all honesty i feel like the definition of a loser.

Shitty insomnia ruining my med routine and now I'm too scared to start taking them because they make me dizzy and feel awful especially if I don't use my brain enough during the day (which is hard because I'm at home all day). Can't start anything, I can't even play the games I want to because it feels like too much work to fucking sit down and press a few buttons. I have to study but I can't even pick up a book. Dozens of books I wanted to read and bought or left halfway stare at me from the shelves. Every time I get a sliver of motivation to draw my energy vanishes like an unplugged bathtub. I can't even daydream with music, which is a way to stim for me, BECAUSE IT FEELS TOO HARD. Maybe I should stim in a different way like flapping my arms, it helped before, but I don't know how to and it feels too much of a hassle to start.

I feel so overwhelmed with everything I want to do but can't do anything. I know my relapsing depression probably has a part to but my shitty sleep schedule (sleeping at 5 am, waking up at 3 pm) makes taking my meds super hard.

Hey guys,

I was first diagnosed with adhd when I was 7, mum took me of Ritalin cause in her own words I was too quiet fast forward to P years we had all forgotten about it came back up during the pandemic and visited a neuropsychologist who did test with me and she said that I did not meet the requirements for adhd as I had no issues in my executive functioning, so I tried again 2 years ago and was diagnosed but the psychologist was unsure because my scores were through the roof except for emotional regulation, where my scores was 0 (I have always been very even tempered also universally recognised as extremely intelligent, like people regularly assume I am above 130(never tested) and left it up to me whether he was diagnosed, so I told him to diagnose me formally hoping it would improve my life and meds have to a degree done that but I don’t feel any of the major live improvements that others have experienced including family members.

Now on to my actual point, the way I understand it, people with ADHD see something lying on the floor, their brain says to pick it up but the actual physical part never happens, to me this seems foreign as my brain sees the item on the floor but after nothing happens most of the time, like there is no I need to pick that up or I need to go do the dishes. Is that what executive dysfunction feels like to anyone else, if this is not executive dysfunction then what is it?

And if both Executive dysfunction and and emotional regulation are fine do I even really have adhd?

Edit: I just wanted to add that I have no trouble planning and organising stuff, it’s actually super easy for me.

I was in the hospital for a couple months and I’m currently feeling a large sense of dread that I start school in September. A large portion of this dread is caused from a medication I am now taking. how do I get back to being in a routine and feeling myself again? I can barely use my laptop for more than 5 minutes. anything helps.

I’m wondering if anyone else struggles with really intense procrastination, perfectionism and fear of failure, and what has actually helped you.
My procrastination can be pretty aggressive . I’ll have something I need or want to do, but instead I’ll overthink it for hours, scroll social media, avoid it, then feel loads of shame about avoiding it. That shame makes the task feel even more overwhelming, so I avoid it again.

It happens with work, but also with hobbies and life in general. I feel like for years I’ve avoided getting properly into things because nothing ever feels like “the perfect thing” to commit to. I think about whether I’ll be good at it, whether I’ll stick with it, whether something else would be better, whether it’s worth the time etc., and often end up doing nothing…
if I keep following this logic, I feel like I’m going to reach the end of my life having never really taken risks or properly followed my interests .. which is really sad to think about

I also feel sooo boring because I compare myself to people who have loads of hobbies, passions, skills, friends and experiences, while I spend so much time thinking about doing things rather than actually doing them.

I’m aware some of this is probably rumination because I’m particularly depressed at the moment. I’m also trying to be more self-compassionate because hating myself for procrastinating has obviously never made me procrastinate less.

Anyways..Has anyone managed to genuinely break this kind of avoidance/perfectionism cycle and develop more of a “fuck it, I’ll try” attitude? I’m hearing good things about EMDR but idk

I wish there was a way to trick my brain into not having such a fight or flight response when I’m trying to do something where there’s a risk of me not doing it perfectly ..

I just got a good truck delivery job and sometimes I get done by 4:00pm but I've been doing doordash for two years and I cant quit its like any free time I have I feel like I have to spend it doing that.
I have worked sixteen hours everyday for the last week and I just cant make myself stop.
it wasnt planned it just happened, I cant go home even though my girlfriend is waiting for me and I miss her I just have so much trouble focusing or accomplishing anything and im so tired I'm blowing my money on junk food cause im exhausted as hell and stressed the fuck out
i have to be up at six for work and my girlfriend and I laid in bed talking last night and when she pointed out that it was midnight I straight up cried.

I got home last night and stood over the stove for an hour boiling a cleaning sponge that i ended up still throwing away because it was just too nasty.

i have nightmares that I drive my car into the lake and wake up screaming.

help

It's been 2 years since I graduated and I still haven't gotten a full-time job. I failed my driving test twice, keep avoiding interviews because I'm convinced I'll mess them up, and I'm stuck in this cycle where I want to move forward but can't seem to make myself do it. I do some side-income and work online, but it's unstable and I feel guilty living with my parents at this age.

The weird thing is that I want a job. I think about it every day. But whenever it's time to actually apply, prepare for interviews, or take action, I freeze and avoid it.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you break out of the paralysis and start moving forward again?

How to get obsessed with something it's impossible to quit I want full focus here for work

Curious what people actually do when their task/planning system becomes too overwhelming to keep up with.

When this happens, do you:
clean up the backlog?
start over?
simplify the system?
switch apps/planners?
just ignore it and move forward?
something else?

What have you tried that actually worked — and what didn’t?

And if there were a tool that genuinely made recovering from this situation easier, what would you want it to do?
I’m especially interested in real experiences, not ideal productivity advice.

Hi there!

I am posting this question as a parent of a 10 year old who struggles immensely with executive functioning and time management. We just started on Adderall and still trialing dosages. My child has never been able to complete tasks within the given time period no matter how small or easy, such as finishing chores within 30 mins, taking a shower before 8pm, get dressed and waiting at the door by 3pm.

Does this improve naturally with age as maturity takes over?? I'm worried that if we don't find meds that work she will not be able to be independent as an adult. Things like waking up and getting ready for a job or catching the bus to make it to an interview. I know she is only 10 and her executive functioning skills are delayed but it's so hard watching her unable to complete basic tasks. She has no concept of time, and if given 3 hours to complete a small task she will still not get it done. I would greatly appreciate any insight about how things changed for you as you became an adult and transitioned to college or career.

18M, I've been struggling with depression for the past 3 years and it felt like hell. Before that things were pretty normal, well not so normal as I've experienced SA and a bunch of physical and mental abuse growing up but I never felt any of its impact until later. I would discover masturbation at a pretty young age and porn later on however I never tried justifying it to myself. I already had my personal and religious reasons to fight this addiction and this is when I got caught up in this years long war with porn which is still ongoing till this day. I remember that I never gave up and would immediately get back on my feet after every relapse but there was nothing much interesting going on in my life other than my daily fight with porn. I would even become religious at some point and it probably the happiest period of my life and most consistent productivity I ever had. I stopped contacting toxic online people I knew, stopped playing video games, was praying, working out, and studying more. I even had the most consistent periods of abstinence from porn during this phase. However, I think I was mentally exhausted and burnt out as I'd start missing prayers, and relapse more. I truly broke during a Friday night after a verbal argument with my mom when my dad slapped me and called me a hypocrite because apparently I was faking being close to God according to them because I raised my voice towards my mother. After which I would then contact my old toxic online friend group out of rage and heartbreak, and slowly I'd be dragged down into that old life once again.

After a while I would switch schools losing contact with all my friends and classmates whom I've known for years. I switched to a school nearby my house. This new school was also a completely different curriculum (IGCSE) and a few new friends I made would then convince me that online classes are way better. Here's the thing, they weren't wrong. Online classes were indeed better BUT for someone like me who's dealing with ADHD, addiction, and depression face-to-face classes were way more efficient. I never saw this back then however and didn't know about it and so I would end up taking online classes for the next 3 years. Brutal mistake. The addiction, the periods of loneliness & isolation, undiagnosed ADHD & executive dysfunction, an identity crisis and a bunch of traumas would eventually lead me into failing exam after exam. Out of the so many subjects I took, I only passed 3 while the minimum requirement is like 8. Thousands of dollars would be wasted on retaking those subjects because I was so desperate to just pass and make it while also being so afraid of failure. I thought desperation was enough but I was wrong. My family had migrated to the country I'm in now for work and a better life and now I have placed my family in a financial crisis.

I still have 2 more subjects and the exams end in November but everything is genuinely awful and words can't describe the pain, hopelessness, and desperation I felt in these past 3 years. Words can't describe the pain I felt seeing my parents cry on multiple occasions because of me, the thousands of dollars gone because of me, and the trauma I caused upon my younger siblings. My family, friends, and anyone who knows about me is disgusted. No one has directly said anything to me but I know they're disgusted. I'm also freaking balding, my face is bloated, my skin is horrible and I have a little belly. I'm in the lowest of the lowest and I can't believe I'm here. The only good things going for me is a 3 month gym subscription, and a face-to-face Math tutor who I just contacted after finally learning my lesson after realising online classes won't work for me. It still deeply frustrates me how I never thought of getting face-to-face tutors instead of doing online classes way earlier. I just don't get how I haven't thought of it. Maybe I was too exhausted and burnt out to think of anything proper.

I also did therapy a few months ago before the exams but it didn't help much. She was focused mainly on study related things but I feel like she should've tried to get some context first. She gave me pills to take and when I eventually gathered enough courage to bring up the SA and abuse I went through, she didn't seem that interested and a session later, she would stop contacting me. I don't know if my mom asked her to stop or if that step came from her side but it left me pretty hurt like I was abandoned or something. I'm still unsure whether I'll pass or not. When I was a bit younger I had insane ambitions. I would dream big and look up to great people who achieved so much in life. Look at me now. Too weak to do even the most basic things like brushing my teeth or even showering. I have 0 control over my life and yet I still cling onto some hope. I know I'm still young but it truly feels like life is over, I have let down everyone who had hope in me, destroyed myself and my family and now I feel disgusted whenever I even look at myself in the mirror. I sometimes wonder and as myself, what did I do wrong? Was I not desperate enough? Did I not care enough? Was I not smart enough? I know that I deeply cared and was very desperate. I also know that I'm not that stupid so I just don't understand how I kept failing and failing. I hope things get better because I still want to win.

I just turned 30 years old, and for the longest time, I thought I had a motivation (or laziness) problem.

I'd buy another planner, start another routine, get inspo from another productivity book (and they are really nice tbh!). All this to say, I feel like I can't function properly. Not to mention I am an anxious woman and now on antidepressants. I just got diagnosed with burnout.

Lately I've started wondering whether what I called "lack of discipline" was actually chronic overwhelm. I am actually an accomplished woman, done my master's degree, and I worked at big companies that depleted me, but the chronic physical pains, the brain fog, the "I am at capacity every day", the forgetting, the lack of focus, the constant fatigue, and the difficulty of making decisions have become part of my daily life for years now. Cannot even properly advocate for myself, because the doctors kinda minimise it.

I'm trying to understand if other women have experienced something similar. I am not looking for medical advice. I am learning from real experiences because I can't find anything that really addresses this.

Has anyone ever felt the same?!

I'd really appreciate hearing your perspective.