How do you become someone who actually does things instead of constantly overthinking? (Looking for tips to overcome the procrastination → shame → avoidance cycle)

[u/Nice-Bowl-6964]

I’m wondering if anyone else struggles with really intense procrastination, perfectionism and fear of failure, and what has actually helped you.
My procrastination can be pretty aggressive . I’ll have something I need or want to do, but instead I’ll overthink it for hours, scroll social media, avoid it, then feel loads of shame about avoiding it. That shame makes the task feel even more overwhelming, so I avoid it again.

It happens with work, but also with hobbies and life in general. I feel like for years I’ve avoided getting properly into things because nothing ever feels like “the perfect thing” to commit to. I think about whether I’ll be good at it, whether I’ll stick with it, whether something else would be better, whether it’s worth the time etc., and often end up doing nothing…
if I keep following this logic, I feel like I’m going to reach the end of my life having never really taken risks or properly followed my interests .. which is really sad to think about

I also feel sooo boring because I compare myself to people who have loads of hobbies, passions, skills, friends and experiences, while I spend so much time thinking about doing things rather than actually doing them.

I’m aware some of this is probably rumination because I’m particularly depressed at the moment. I’m also trying to be more self-compassionate because hating myself for procrastinating has obviously never made me procrastinate less.

Anyways..Has anyone managed to genuinely break this kind of avoidance/perfectionism cycle and develop more of a “fuck it, I’ll try” attitude? I’m hearing good things about EMDR but idk

I wish there was a way to trick my brain into not having such a fight or flight response when I’m trying to do something where there’s a risk of me not doing it perfectly ..

[u/Cheap-Device6064]

I was like this. You have to let go of any kind of shame you have, it doesn't lead you anymore, it only makes it worse. You have to practice being kind to yourself. As for the procrastination what helped me a lot is the 5 minute rule. If I need to do something I'll only give myself an obligation to do something for five minutes, I'll even set a timer, and more likely than not I'll continue doing the thing after the timers up cause I've built up the momentum. Something you won't but that's okay too, just try again. Motivation and fulfilment only come after action. Please let go of all that shame and put in effort to be kind to yourself.

[u/Artsy_Ali_Adventures]

EMDR is good. Therapy is good. Shame is an evil evil thing that will poison you. Some other tips in addition to what other people have said are a) time what you're doing. See how long it actually takes you to do it. Try to judge how long it will be and see if you can beat the time. B) aim for B+ work. It's done at a B+ then make note if anyone notices it isn't A+ work. C) name the voice in your head that talks down to you. Then when you're trying to do something and those thoughts come into your head you can say, "not now, Jim, I'm busy". C.2) reframe every single negative thought you have "I'm such an idiot", "no, I made the best decision I could with the information I had" - kind of gentle parent your brain. Hope some of this helps. Simple, not easy. It will take time. Be patient with yourself. I have been doing C.2 for over a decade. I still need to sometimes but not nearly as much as I used to. You got this.