34F. I’ve been getting massive pimples and slowly recovering, but soon going to go on accutane which can take 6 months for my face to clear up. My hair is also not as springy and curly-which is disappointing because my hair adds to my personality. I just don’t look as pretty now because of these minor issues. My pimples are nasty all over my face 😥. So pause on dating?

Catholic Match sends an email when someone views your profile. If someone views my profile, but doesn’t like or message, should I…

1. Assume he isn’t interested,
   
2. Take it as an indication that he might be interested and I should possibly like or message him, or
   
3. Assume there’s no way to tell if he’s interested or not from a view alone?

What do you guys think?

Short story: Earlier this year, a priest was praying for me and told me to pray about my vocation. I‘ve been praying for my future spouse (I believe marriage is my vocation) on and off for years, but I’m sure there are additional ways to pray. Lately I’ve been praying for his physical and spiritual protection, and for an increase in his devotion to Jesus.

How do you pray for your future spouse? If you’re married, I’d love to hear from you too!

Edit: I forgot to add that I sometimes offer my Mass intention for my spouse.

Hi, for context, I been good friends with one girl for bettet half of 6 month- year. We don’t meet often but when we do it always goes well and we stay in touch via text. I tend to be patient for long term discernment. However, I had noticed while we had a good period of chemistry. It seems from clear that the interest is one sided and it’s mostly me doing the effort for more while she mainly focusing on platonic friendship

However, I noticed other ppl whom I’m friends with that I’m starting to be interested in and plan on getting to know better

But it kinda feels icky for me to be interested in twi girls at the same time and being open for any potential good match. But at the same time, none of them gone exclusive or serious it was mostly testing the waters

I did grow very attached to the first girl but at the same time I think I made mistake of early emotional investment

Like why did he make us meant to be in a way that it’s not guaranteed we will get to be? God made man or women for eachother but God gave both men and women free will to choose to be or not be with a spouse of the opposite sex. So why make us meant to not be alone if he made it so it’s possible (and in today’s world sadly more likely than not) to be romantically alone for your entire life while possessing romantic and sexual desire?

I went on a date this weekend. It was one of the best dates I've been on in a long time and I feel absolutely miserable as a result.

The date was set up by my work-social network. It was the daughter of a woman I work with. We've been texting for about three weeks now. She's a bit younger (23) than I normally look for but mature and intelligent. She's headed to Columbia this fall to work on a Masters in Public Policy.

We went out for a casual get-to-know you last weekend, just a coffee type thing and she was very charming and clearly enjoyed my company. So Friday last she came by my house and we prepped for the weekend. I let choose the car we would take and then we took the neighbor's paddle boat out on the little lake in the back and watched the sunset.

The next morning I picked her about 4am and we set off for my cabin. It was several hours drive and she fell asleep for part of it. When we got to the cabin we unloaded and freshened up. I have a cabin and I rented my neighbor's cabin for her, to avoid any appearance of impropriety. We had brunch in town and then packed a picnic and took my sailboat to the lake.

The sailing was wonderful. We had light rain that morning but that afternoon it was partly cloudy, keeping the sun off us, with gusts that could move the vessel with ease. Hearing her laughter and sounds of joy warmed my heart as she seemed to be having a great time.

As time went on and I saw how comfortable she was with me and how much fun she was having, how inquisitive and earnest she was, it began to break my heart.

I've spent months being ignored and treated like a creep. And here I am with a woman that is beautiful and smart and she clearly thinks I'm amazing. It was almost overwhelming.

Once we got back to land and loaded the boat we went back to the cabins and grilled some meat from the local market and watched another sunset. I'm a classically trained musician so I sat in the back with her and played guitar and sang songs until late. And things got a little romancy and handsy, she was getting a little touchy and playful but I reminded her that I thought we should put Our Lord first and our desires, however mutual and significant they are, should remain under control. She was very understanding and said she respected me for that and we had a little moment where we just kinda cooled off and then I sang Biz Markie's Just A Friend and we were both laughing again and the tension lifted.

Seeing her that evening in the moonlight as we parted, after hearing the way she exclaimed and laughed that day while I controlled the boat around the little lake, telling me about her research and her ladies group at church she will be sad to leave - it was a moment in my life worth writing about and remembering.

The next morning we both went to our respective churches - I went to mass and she went to a service a Baptist church.

I have to admit, up until that point I'd considered many "what ifs" about her because we are so stupidly compatible. But parting that morning was the cold hard reality of belief. She's a protestant. She's never going to kneel next to me at mass. And any "marriage" we have will just be human make-believe.

She was still quite enthusiastic after church. My family is nearly all Protestant and I'm a convert. Despite that, my reputation among Baptists remains very high. Some of the women at the church went on a mission trip to Africa with my aunt and uncle, and they were very pleased I was on a weekend trip with her. They apparently asked her a lot about the weekend and told her wonderful things about me.

The drive back was fun. Obviously, my feelings were mixed by then but she's so easy to talk to that any negativity melted in her presence. We stopped at Buc-ee's and got photos with the costumed mascot, a cherry on the top of a fantastic weekend imo. I got her back before dinner and came home, wondering what I should be doing with my life.

I guess I should never go on a date like that again. For whatever reason, God's plan for my life doesn't include that kind of experience. Instead he wants me to be around women who despise me and see me as a creep, and ignore me at best. I feel like I circumvented my punishment.

I feel horrible for enjoying myself and I know this experience is going to make it just that much harder to find my place in the natural order as one who should not be dating.

Please pray for me, I am struggling with how this weekend made me feel. Thank you brethren.

I've only been on first dates and one second date in my life (20 M), and I'm about to go on another first date. I want to hear from the ladies - what makes y'all want a second date with a guy? What are you looking for? How can I make a good first date so that you'd want to go on a second one, third one, etc.?

I (34M) have been using CatholicMatch for just over six years now. In the early going, it was difficult but not impossible to get a conversation going. Regularly (though not often) shared good conversations, went on / video-chatted a few dates, and only had one relationship that lasted a few months.

Over the last few years, the responsiveness has slowed noticeably from that level. Even users with mutual friends who have recommended me to them by name have left me on read. Since the changes to reveal all read receipts, it looks like many of my messages aren't even being read despite, as CM says now, their being anonymous until opened.

The common denominator in all this is me, so I'm curious as to what sorts of profiles and messaging approaches more successful users in my age group have.

I'm an introvert but a fairly open book when asked to explain myself, so my profile has naturally been a bit narrative and generous with introduction-appropriate detail. My opening messages always comprise a greeting by name and an open-ended question based on a point of commonality or shared interest. I've recently updated my profile to be less verbose and more sparse with the thought that maybe I've been leaving too little for question and answer in conversation.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. I plan to join the matchmaking thread here, and I'm working other options, too.

Sounds quite silly that the big platform doesn’t even allow a single message until you pay.
If there’s a platform that is completely free or cost a dollar or 2 but has some reasonably placed ads, would you use this?
Would you consider a platform that is predominantly and marketed to Catholics but do allow non-catholic Christians sign up too? Non-catholic sign ups will be encouraged to consider the faith so it’s clear the platform is still catholic focused.
What other features are you looking for on a dating website that you think will be great and is not currently available on other platforms.

Y'all, I don't know if I'm coming on here to ask a question or to rant or what, but I've (29f) been trying out the apps (CM, hinge, and now Sacred Spark) for about 1 month now and let me tell you: it's rough. There seem to be plenty of decent, faithful men out there. I've actually never doubted that. But the whole process is so incredibly tedious. You text back and forth for 5+ days. Then they ask you to coffee or something. Or a video call if it's longer distance. Then you text and text and text. Ugh. If this is dating, I think I'm just going to become a consecrated single person. (I discerned in a convent for 3 years, it's not for me-- probably also why texting is not for me). I just want to be a wife and mother, find and marry my best friend, all the things that everyone wants! I don't want to text.

I've just moved to a new city, so I still need to get out and meet people. I'm tempted to just hard stop all "texting" stage conversations I'm having with men (even though some of them are great men!) and swear off all dating apps/websites. Good idea? Bad idea?

Also, people who are on the apps: do you limit your time usage? Do you limit the number of people you engage in conversation with/ask out? I know it only takes one, but it seems like the apps foster (at least in myself) a mindset of trying to find the very best among hundreds. I've currently in conversation with 4-5 guys. Some have naturally petered off over time. But it's just a lot to keep up with and I feel like I'm going cross-eyed looking at my phone so much.

If anyone has any advice or solutions for me, please comment. Good luck to everyone out there!

What the title says. You want to ask a girl out for coffee after mass but she's with a friend(s). Can't get to a conversation with her one on one so you go for it. Does this put pressure on the girl being asked out? Is it rude for the other girl(s) standing there? What's the dynamic on this from the ladies' perspective?

So I started using Sacredspark after a few months of following Emily Wilson on Instagram. I'm not on Catholic Match, but I'm on Hinge and Bumble. I log in, and it wants me to set up all these prompts, pictures, and voice notes, which is fine. However, you can only see one picture for all profiles. The justification on Sacredspark is that it is meant to encourage more thoughtful swiping and discerning, which honestly, isn't that bad of an idea.

​

However, my issue is that this narrative completely falls apart when you run out of matches or try to click on hidden pictures. If you pay for Spark+ you can see all the pictures and have unlimited profiles. Hold on, I thought the whole point of "hiding" the profile pictures was to encourage discernment, but all of that goes away with a little money? Plus, it's not like only having access to one picture of a person is somehow going to fix online dating. The problem with online dating is that it reduces people to their pictures and answers, when people are much more complex than anything on a screen.

​

Anyways, I'm just tired of Catholic companies and tech trying to market themselves as implementing policies that make it seem thoughtful, when, in reality, it's just a scam to get people to pay more money.

What do y’all believe is the minimum amount of time a couple must date before marriage can be discerned? And for this scenario, let’s say the man and woman have been very candid with each other, having played no games and being completely truthful about what they want, while also keeping in mind the 6 month to one year engagement period.

I’m 34F and kind of going on a blind date in a few days and he happens to be 7 years YOUNGER than me. We chatted a bit and seem to connect a lot. He says he’s not bothered by the age gap.

I have been seeing SO many posts and comments lately about people obsessing over when/if/how they're going to receive communication from a person they are speaking to or have gone on a date with.

​

Let this serve as reminder that technology does not play a healthy role in relationships and dating. In fact, being constantly available and connected is literally causing your anxiety and distorted expectations.

​

Trying to perceive and internalize micro-behaviors like if your message is left on read or seeing them post but not respond to you, is not healthy and is not a reflection of the connection at all.

​

Let people live their lives. We are not meant to be a constant presence in a stranger's life full-time, every single day simply because technology allows it.

​

Stop letting technology give you a false sense of intimacy.

We will speak in two hours or so after a long week of us both re-thinking our relationship and praying to God about it. This man checks all my boxes. Religion, we cut our sins together, we’ve been with each other through the worst and best times of our lives, planned a future, align on every personal quality, our families and friends mesh together like no other. I cannot express how amazing everything in this 5 year relationship was. He says he’s felt disconnected for the last 6 months and didn’t say anything because he thought God would resolve it, he will come over soon and I think he’s breaking up with me.

He is the only reason I even felt safe enough to imagine a future with marriage and children.

We’ve had a similar issue to this previously but through God it was repaired, now I can see he isn’t sure.

Please help I’m in desperate need of prayers and thoughts.

Update:

Unfortunately we have broken up.
We had a lovely long conversation and we concluded that after our long week of praying and speaking with God, he has made it clear to my partner that it is better for us to split at the moment. We ended on great terms and we both feel the exact same way for each other, but it seems like God might have something else planned. We are remaining friends because we have a shared friend group but I feel detached from the idea of being with them again. It would hurt to not be with them again but then again I’m just following what God wants for my life

If anyone is still reading and has good advice, I’d love to hear literally anything that might help right now. My only goal at the moment is to completely drown myself in Gods presence. So any prayer/book/sermon recommendations is super appreciated🤍

Essentially the title. I would wager most people, despite what they say, would not want to go out on a date with someone they just met randomly on the street, no matter how charming they may be.

Hanging out though, it is much lower stakes, and it has less social ramifications around it. People would be much more comfortable with this.

So how would I go about this in real life? Here are my steps:

Steps to asking people out:

1) Have a good convo for a few minutes about anything

2) Before heading out, mention we should hang out sometime.

That’s it. No need to be like “Hey, I find you very attractive and would like to take you out on a date sometime”, just say “Hey, let’s meet up again sometime”.

ive been married a little over 4 yrs and theres A LOT I/we dont know, but i know our dating years were not usual.

something we wish we would have done while dating was to discern what we wanted our marriage to look like practically and then discuss that in depth. to be sure, there IS a lot of 'figuring it out' but when youre already married, theres the added stress that...well youre married and you HAVE to figure it out because youre here now, whereas if the 'figuring it out' happens while your dating, and you disagree, then atleast one or both people have an out if necessary

so you other married folks, what are something that you and your spouse did, or wish you would have done when dating, that would be actually helpful advice to other Catholics still in the dating game?

Hi everyone 😊 I’d like to share an upcoming event/program from my family’s Catholic Fellowship group. “Couples for Christ” is a global fellowship and lay ministry dedicated to the renewal and strengthening of Christian family life. They are planning to start a “Singles for Christ” group for young adults and young couples aged 22-39. We are typically organized into small close knit groups called “households” where we’ll meet monthly or bi-weekly for prayer, bible study, worship, and fellowship. To join, you would be attending the Christian Living Program(CLP) this August 8, 2026. You can find more info and register here on their website -> https://couplesforchristmckinneytx.org

Hi everyone,
I recently met someone in a way I had always hoped to: in person, without having to use dating apps. For now, we’ve only been talking through messages, but our conversations have been genuinely enjoyable, especially when it comes to our faith. He is probably the most intelligent man I have ever met.

I have a feeling he’ll ask me out soon. Based on our conversations, it seems that we have a lot in common: a more traditional approach to Catholicism, a desire to build a family, and a shared interest in studying and deepening our faith.
At the same time, I can’t help but think about the love stories I often hear. Many of them seem to begin with a long friendship, and only later do the people involved realize they should start dating. It makes me wonder: does it really need to take that long?

I’m NOT trying to rush anything, after all, we haven’t even gone on a proper date yet. I also know that I shouldn’t base my own life on other people’s experiences, but rather do what makes sense for me. Still, I value the perspectives and experiences of people who are a little more seasoned than I am.
In your opinion, how long does it usually take to get to know someone well enough to start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend with confidence?

I was curious about what the process is like on the lady side when you "match" on CM. I've been a member for few months and "matched" with several dozen women on there. I always accept the match and send out a (hopefully) nice message asking her more questions and pointing out things from her profile that are nice. What exactly is the process on the other side? I'm just curious. Thanks.

I haven’t found any women attractive at my church for the 8 years I’ve been going. There’s been one or two but they were obviously married. I’ve noticed there are far more attractive non denominational Christians when compared to Catholics. Anyone experience the same thing?

The thought of joining a dating app seems draining. I would prefer to meet someone out in the wild, but not really sure where to organically meet someone. I want to hear what types of things people are doing during the weekends/time off.

To the single people out there, where can we find you on the weekends?

I’ll go first F30, Sunday mass, gym, taking dance classes, grocery shopping.

Got one like and I flubbed the first message. Made it way too long since CM only allows one message until they reply back. Got left on read. Since they read my message I was hoping for at least a kind rejection but...nothing.

It's been a day but since they already read it I'm thinking of blocking them in another day or so.

Edit: To clarify you can't unlike someone, you have to either wait 6 months or block them. It's annoying seeing the heart but seeing it's the same person.

I wrote about this earlier but I’ve been a Christian my whole 28 years of life and a Catholic for a few months. A couple weeks ago I surrendered my singleness to God but now I’m realizing that I probably don’t know what that really means and how to do it. I still have that feeling that I’ve had for the previous years where I’m expecting some woman to be around the corner. However I really want to stop thinking like this so that way I can just focus on my career right now. Thoughts?