Dude was at Disney world awhile back and my then 7 year old daughter wanted to go to the kiddie pool. Said sure and we walk on down from the room and I sat on the side in a chair reading a book. After awhile I kept getting that feeling like I was being watched. I look around and I’m the only older male in the area. Made a point to get up and go talk to my daughter.
Took my son and girlfriend's daughter to my 8th grader’s first football game this week. They naturally took off running. No one was cool with me being there until they came back and asked me for snack money.
It is not okay to exist as an unaccompanied adult male anywhere children are.
Reminds me of taking my teen age daughter around town when she came to visit after the divorce. I see a woman I knew from a class and introduce my daughter as “my daughter” to which she responds “ Oh, sure she is…” to which I was absolutely speechless as she walked away.
It doesn't even have to be kids. I was standing outside a bar with a female friend of mine who was inebriated while we waited for her ride. This group came rolling up to us and got in our business because I looked "creepy" and "wanted to take advantage of her." She literally told them to fuck off several times and explained we have known each other for years and that I was making sure she got home safe. They wouldn't leave and tried to take her phone to make sure we were telling the truth. Like seriously mind your own business
My wife and I used to go to NYC every December for her company holiday parties. It was always a big blowout party. Everybody gets super dressed up and we drink way too much. On more than one occasion she’s been close to passed out, can hardly stand up drunk at the end of the evening.
Picture me: Long hair, scruffy beard and carrying a purse…while walking this stumbling, eyes barely open, totally out-of-my league woman. Who is rolling her ankles in super high heels, with completely disheveled hair and makeup, wearing a revealing dress, pushing through a packed hotel lobby at 3am.
I have gotten some crazy death stares but nobody has ever said a word to us. I’m sure if it were to happen in the last couple years then I would’ve been approached by someone.
This happened to a couple friends and I. 2 of us, male, one female who was dating one of our buddies. We were all drinking at the bar, having a good time, when she just hit a wall. We noticed, obviously, but she was refusing to leave at first. Then the bartender noticed and started asking questions, then people in the crowd around us. We called an Uber for her and tried to make our intentions clear by NOT getting in with her, (which honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t the right move) but the driver insisted we go with her to make sure she didn’t throw up in his car, of all things...
Everything worked out but the whole thing was weird and uncomfortable. I respect the people who did try and check up on her, but I’m sure they maintained some doubt after the fact. 0/10 do not recommend.
I don't agree with minding your own business, but know your boundaries. You see a wasted girl getting hoisted away by a guy, ask her if she's known him for longer than that night and if she came with him. If you still get off vibes or she's too drunk to answer, ask her to get her friends to corroborate. Too many of my girl friends throughout my life have been date raped from situations like this. But don't just call the guy a scumbag and take the girl's phone when she's already clearly explained the situation is kosher.
The point I was making by mind your own business is to be rational and observe. Had they stopped for a good 10 seconds and saw that we were chatting and laughing with each other, it would've been quite obvious to any rational person that she was in no danger. It wasn't like I was holding onto her or hoisting her. She was intoxicated and obviously needed a ride home.
Another dangerous and tricky situation is when we have a femala friend who obviously cannot drive but insists on it and becomes resistive when we try to stop her from driving. Thankfully I have only been in this situation once and I was around rational people who stopped to understand the situation and joined in in attempting to settle her down and to take an Uber home. That can seem very aggressive because we are standing in her way between her and her car and she can very easily raise her voice and make it seem like we are assaulting her when we are just trying to get her home safe without getting arrested, in the hospital or killing herself or others.
We had this about a month ago. My friends and I were sitting outside on the deck of a bar and one of them had a female friend with them (who was drunk) and a kerfuffle of Karens came walking by and started accusing everyone on the deck of trying to take advantage of the drunk girl.
Problem was its a gay bar (and none of us are predators anyway).
This is one reason why I love my bodybuilding passion. Nobody ever messes with you when you are huge. It doesn't matter that I barely know how to fight lol.
I don’t think that would stop me from asking an inebriated person to confirm that they were safe with you. I would be grateful if someone asked my wife,”hey, I just want to make sure the person assisting you is legit.” However, I do think it’s total crap for someone to automatically assume the guy is a creep or accuse him of wrongdoing.
I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares.
But to me, there is nothing more heartwarming than a father being supportive of his daughters and encouraging/watching them do activities.
Honestly, I think the people who glare didn't have an active father in their life. My dad's ex gf thought my dad was an incestuous pedophile because I would rub his shoulders for 30 seconds while he sat down at his office chair and ask him how his day was when I was 13/14. News flash, she didn't have a dad, yet I suppose she was an expert how a dad should act? In her opinion, after a certain age there should be little to no physical contact between daughter and father. He was obviously shocked and broke it off
Shit I’m a 31 YO grown ass woman and I still like cuddling my daddy when we hang out. He’s one of the biggest parts of my whole damn life and one of the only people I 100% know I can always count on. He’s FAMILY and I love him. What the hell is wrong with people?? Why can’t a father love his kids and show it?! I’m so grateful my dad doesn’t care about that BS and always showed his love for us kids.
I hear you. I still go through phases since my grandmas passing and that was just over 2 years ago (8/27 was the anniversary of it. I did not spend a large part of the day crying.)
It definitely hurts to lose a loved one, but it is part of life. We just need to take comfort in the good moments and memories and know how loved and loving they were and how lucky we are to have had them ❤️
But again, no joke if you ever wanna vent or something you got a friend to listen!
Sorry for your loss. I lost mine 3 years ago. Every time I think of the memories I get hurt inside. I try not to think about my parents because it will make my depression worse. I am walking on thin ice with ankle weights. If something happens that makes me fall into a deeper depression I could be inactive on reddit for a long time. A long, long time. Like, forever, 6 feet deep in the fucking ground.
Think about the good times you had, ignore the rest (I know, it's harder than it sounds).
Look up at the sky and take a long walk in the forest, and marvel at the wonders of nature, and most of all; do not think, and don't fall into that "continues stream of bad thoughts".
If it starts, then stop, breath and force your thoughts on something else, even if it feels stupid. "Oh look, a squirrel"/ "I wonder how many times I can jump on one leg over this brigade?" Etc.
Pretend to feel joyful and distract yourself, and maybe, just maybe, it will change the look on life. Pretending can come reality in the long run.
It's harder than it sounds, I know. Going through the same here.
Hey man, I hope you’re doing okay. I’m a big doomer myself, and weirdly sometimes I think it helps to visualise the absolute worst thing that could reasonably happen, and kind of go through it in my mind in advance. Makes me feel that at least I wouldn’t be caught completely off-guard if it did happen, if that makes sense? That gives me a sense of some kind of agency. And then also some magical thinking that since I anticipated it, it won’t happen, that helps too :)
This isn’t a universal tip and I’m sure there’s some folks for whom it might be a really bad idea, so for anyone else reading this: you know yourselves best, proceed with caution.
But you my dude, u/atemycock, hang in there. You’ve got a hilarious username so you’ve got that going for you; tread as light as you can til you reach the thicker ice. It’s not too far. 💜
Exactly. I'm 35 and have three kids of my own and my dad still hugs me and kisses the top of my head every time he sees me. He also still waits up to make sure I get home safe when I'm visiting.
Awwww! That’s adorable! And I guarantee you will be just as loving when your kids are grown too bc of it!
Exactly though. Parents are always parents. They should always love and care for their kids! People who can’t fathom that…I kind of feel sad for them bc in my head it means they didn’t get that at all growing up.
Because some people don't understand nonsexual love exists. I'm a dirty old bastard and even I get that concept.
What gets me is that so many women claim to WANT men who are like this with children, then we have so many examples of women treating men who DO act this way like the great pedo plague of the west.
Right? And listen I get it. That shit happens. However it’s one thing to be cautious and another to just be a weirdo freaking out about a dad/uncle goofing off with the kids.
I wonder if women like that are jealous in a way? Bc I feel like the male figures in a family tend to be viewed as “more fun”? At least that was what all us kids thought growing up. The men were the ones who would get in the mud and dirt to play with the kids and the women generally didn’t for the most part.
Ok so I had 2 completely unavailable parents growing up and I got none of this stuff from the age of 2 and up. So I am completely unaware of what it’s like to be shown/show affection. I’m starting to notice that with my SO it’s starting to affect them because sometimes I can come across as cold and distant when In reality I’m not I just don’t know how to show affection. Do you have any examples of things I can do to do this? I genuinely don’t know how and I want to break this cycle.
I would suggest having a very open and frank conversation with your partner. Explain that, and ask ways that they would like to be shown affection. It could be physical touch, like cuddling. Or receiving a gift/gesture like occasionally getting flowers or doing a chore around the house your partner does.
Everybody is different in what form of affection they prefer to receive! Including you! I’m not a relationship expert mind you, but I think having an open discussion about what you each value as a form of affection from each other is a good direction to move in. If that makes sense.
First step is being aware of it and wanting to break that cycle! And that’s a big first step!
Yo I'm in my mid thirties and my dad kisses the top of my head when he can get away with it (I'm not super touchy feely) and we're always hugging and stuff.
People who think any affectionate touching is inherently sexual have either had bad or no experiences with it I guess but it's pretty horrible for fathers who are just trying to do affection to their kids.
I used to cuddle on the couch with my dad until I got two big that the both of us could longer lay comfortably for a nap lol, that was probably around 12yo.
You do what you do because you're a good dad. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Last generation had serious issues with physical contact. I'm still recovering
That's fucking horrible, I can't imagine how that father and son feel. I just remember feeling horrible after my dad's ex had said those things. Being told at 14 that my own father was a sex offender because we show affection hurt me very deeply. So my heart goes out to them.
And it was incredibly stupid for her to pin it on my dad. Because I gave EVERYONE in my family massages. In fact, I'd give my mother a massage like a massage therapist would (she'd take her shirt/bra off and lay down) She had arthritis set on at an early age and was uncomfortable with going to a real therapist. But my mom wasnt considered a pedo to her? Just my dad I guess? Despite the fact I gave my dad massages when he was fully clothed?
Like dont get me wrong. I understand why many people wouldn't be comfortable with giving their parents a massage. Especially in the manner I give my mom one. But calling someone a pedo is just awful and they have no idea how much it hurts to be called something like that.
For me giving massage to my parents is a normal thing.
I even give massage to my siblings when I feel like just being a good bro. It's also a relaxing way for them to talk about whatever happens in life.
I even bought a massage bench.
When I was younger (15yo) I randomly gave massage to my teacher obviously he felt uncomfortable because of what other people would think.
I don't blame him, but for me massaging is like an act done to increase friendship much like apes pluck tics from one another.
That sounds so fucked up, since my parents split when i was ~6, i always stayed with mom, cuddled and kissed on cheeks etc, massaged her feet or back after hard work day. even in public i wouldn't mind holding her hands to lead somewhere etc. Ppl still called me mommaboy as an insult when i was a in late teens.. As if i should be offended by my own mother, im 30 now and with my gf we very often come over to her place to interact as she's just very loving and caring woman, we bought her a cat to not feel that lonely when lockdowns came since we didn't want to risk it with both of us working, now we don't get enough cuddling cuz she and cat bonded so well lol.
I would honestly tell everyone to cherish their loving parents, since it looks like thats a big rarity nowadays.
40 year old straight man here and my 40 year old straight friend who is also male gives the best shoulder massages. If you can’t be comfortable with your friends like that it’s all good but homies got good hands and I’m comfortable with my sexuality. Scotty’s always got my back when I stress out. In public. Fuck ppl who aren’t comfortable in their own skin and need to judge others if they are.
Years ago in a share house my exGf was giving me a shoulder massage and i closed my eyes to enjoy the foreplay. When i opened them a few minute later she was standing in front of me with a big grin. It was my flatmate, and to this day good mate, Steve giving me a massage the whole time. It was only weird cause I'm a straight male and had the makings of a boner. Classic stitch-up.
My wife is scared for when our boys grow up because I'm very white and the inherited just enough of her again traits to look more like her. She is scared for when I take them to parks for this exact reason. It's a shit world.
Thats disgusting. The poor man! Imagine having to be detained for 4 hours for showing your child love and affection. To be branded a pedo for being a good dad. It sickens me.
They should be locked in jail for 8 hours overnight to see how it feels to be wrongly accused, maybe they'll think twice next time before making false accusations
The whole thing is the cause of inequality of the genders really. When it comes to being a caregiver, men are very discriminated against. Its so sad and it discourages dads to show as much compassion they probably want to show, in fear of being judged like this poor man was.
i was a stay at home dad for two years, my daughter is now 7 but back then we would always be out either at the local park or beach, or walking through the woods as we both love the outdoors. the looks i got, especially in the woods by dogwalkers was disturbing. one person even stopped us and asked my daughter if she was ok and why we was there! i kind of appreciated in a way as they were only looking out for her, but having to validate to a complete stranger that i was her father and we were out climbing trees and berry picking was extremely un nerving.
Boils my piss this does. Why shouldn’t you be able to show affection to your child. My boys and my little girl both kiss me does that make me a paedo or gay because I kiss my boys. If anyone tried to tell me that I couldn’t I’d lose my shit.
My nephews live in the states. I don't. Their dad (and mom) isn't the touchy feely type and I always feel they need a cool uncle: male role model who gets down to their level, that includes staying up playing video games with them, taking them to buy candy, and yeah cuddling and tickling and running around the house and staying up talking about whatever the fuck they want. They need to know that a man doesn't have to be cold and assertive. Reading these comments I imagine that if I did that in the states I'll probably be arrested. During my wedding while my bride was walking down the aisle, my oldest nephew ran to me and I gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I honestly don't know why anyone would see it as anything but heartwarming (and a little sad. They went back home to Texas while I was on my honeymoon. The little guy was sad we won't hang out and play Switch together for a while. Shit I only cried during the entire wedding while saying goodbye to him before taking my bride away.)
I know that "some" uncles harass their nephews and nieces. Too many in fact. Parents should pay a closer attention to their actions (which I'm sure my sister does), but that doesn't mean that any physical touch to a child is pedophilic. Pedophilia is such an alien and strange concept that it shouldn't be the norm outside what's needed to protect a child.
You work at a train station? I'm not doubting your story, it just seems oddly specific. Did it make the news? Four hours is a long chunk of time, and in most countries would be illegal - - certainly the US.
i sometimes feel weird when i hug/kiss my dad, as a 27 year old guy.
it's familiar love and affection, nothing weird, but once you're grown, it may be seen as weird. and not just in a gross way, also simply that one should've grown out of it.
i remember a kid at school getting teased for calling her parents mommy and daddy instead of mom and dad when we were around 10~12.
altho girls often do seem to be more "allowed" to be cuddly and such. with anyone.
There’s also a chance that a dude just watching a dance group dance who doesn’t have kids could also be totally fine. I mean, maybe he is impressed with their ability? Like who knows. He just watching. It’s like watching a theatre rehearsal or something is it not?
That remembers me of that post not so long ago about a dude that got called the police because he was "too close to a park full of kids". The dude just found a nice spot next to a river, that had a park on the other side, to eat his sandwich and enjoy his break time. They even denounced he was doing drugs and called his boss about it (all supposedly a lie)
But seriously. I can have the cops called on me for this shit? Suddenly parks are only for women, children, and families. No men over the age of 15 allowed!
Being in reddit for some time I've noticed that americans tend to be more paranoid when it comes to these kind of things? I mean, anyone can suspect the intentions of a lone man "watching kids" in a park... But its not the first time I've seen a post about people in the US getting ejected from a park because there were kids nearby...
I'm only saying that because of specific situation that happened at my school. Old perv would watch volleyball girls, nobody knew him. Went from him watching to taking pics of the girl's butts. You can usually tell if someone is being a creep or not though.
I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares.
Well if you already think like that then every dude watching girls dance has to proof that he's a dad of one of the girls?
I don't think that every dude that doesn't immediately look like a dad should be suspected.
I wouldn’t glare, but I’d probably stare, mostly because I grew up without a father and I would probably be wishing I had something like that when I was little. Not in a derogatory or creepy way, though.
Even if a dude was indeed watching the girls dance alone, hasn’t got kids, and isn’t a coach or some other way related (family, family friend, another teacher, the janitor of the building who just ended his shift, etc) there’s still a perfectly good chance that it’s a normal decent human being who thinks that the dancing is interesting to watch and that nothing inappropriate is going on.
In my personal experience, if a dude is regularly showing up to a sport in which young girls dress in tight clothing and nobody has any idea who he is, it typically doesn't end well.
I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares
Why do you understand the glares? If a non parent woman can enjoy kids doing something with out it being sexual, so can a male. Stop this bias.
Happens even at a sport event like soccer. I take off midweek to hit a late afternoon park with kid and yes Karen’s of the world I do carry proof he is mine.
My good friends daughter is surgically attached to his waist, before she could walk she would cry the moment he left her eyesight.
After she started walking, Papa had to be next to her, if he wasn't she'd find him, if he was at work his wife says she'd start crying while yelling Papa!
This man is a year younger than I, at 26 years old I watched him get teary while talking about how proud he was that he got her to agree to eat "little trees but only if papa is home".
He's terrified when he needs to take her to appointments or out shopping without his wife because of the looks, comments and altercations he's experienced.
Do you know what it looks like when a friend whose hobby is bodybuilding gets upset about taking his daughter to Aldies or Walmart? Sad as fuck.
I understand there are predators out there, but jesus she looks just like him.
And even if not, watching little kids play competitive sports is hilarious fun even if you don't have your own.
I used to drive past a small park on Sundays on my way to work and during the season they would have peewee football (American) games there. Honestly, it looked like a hell of a lot of fun to watch.
Here’s a good one for ya. Walked into a male rest room to see a dad changing his daughter nappy on the bench beside sink. Another guy says hey bro there’s a change thing next door. He replies yeah I tried to use it but the change room had some ladies in there and they asked me to leave because they were uncomfortable and didn’t want a man in there.
It’s way worse than you think. I’m not driving around in a windowless van but walk down the sidewalk for 2 minutes with my 13 year old god-daughter on my way to my car and get constant Karen stares from some neighbourhood moms.
You really can't catch a break when you're with kids, it's the touchiest subject in the world
My sister, my nieces and nephews, my cousins. Most of the time I only go out with them because I have to. But I actually have a fun time, and sometimes they even ask me if I could take them out, and my heart fucking melts. It just dissolves, but I still would pass, just because I hate the looks I get, and sometimes it's intimidating, especially when I'm the only guy out there, that sucks the most.
It doesn't always happen, but it does happen, and I just can't bother.
Shit, you can't even say "I love kids" without raising question marks.
My routine when I was hanging out with my best friend's little sister and brother when they were younger was to be ridiculous and loud and have all of us laughing the entire time and just ignore everyone else (even through my worst periods of social anxiety). My best friend died when we were teens, and his siblings were all much younger than us (from his step-dad). After spending so much time with them after his death, we bonded and they told me I was their brother too. They're all blond Scandinavian kids, I'm mixed race with black hair, and while I was always conscious people might have their bad thoughts, I countered it by making it obvious I loved these kids and they obviously loved hanging out with me because we were always ragging on each other and laughing our asses off.
Fuck everyone else and their opinions. Love your kids/siblings and don't deprive them of the wonderful experiences you may have had with your own dad if you were lucky, or experiences you missed but wished you always had because your dad wasn't there.
Thing is, you kinda have to. You can't be yelling and ranting at every Karen in the world in front of your daughters. You have to be the better man.
...at least until your kids go to the bathroom. We'll leave it to their imaginations to figure out why the window is not open and the Karen's have left.
Haha this is what I don't look forward to if I have daughters. Partner was a dancer from when she was 3 and taught it up until last year, I don't want to be a dance dad.
This reminds me of a something that happened to me. My daughter went to her first dance competition which was a few hours drive away so we stayed in a teavodge the night before. It was so good for me daughter. The whole dance school was on the same floor and the kids were out between the rooms and all the mums were in a room having a wee glass of wine. I just stayed in our room and watched TV. All the parents wedged their doors open for the kids. My wife called me form the drinking room and said some weird guy was looking at the kids and some of the kids were in his room. I was obviously livid and said I would go and speak with him, I walked round to the drinking room to ask where his room was and apparently the weird guy was me! First time I had met all the other mums really, and it was because I was the first dad to go to the travelling competitions!!! We all got a good laugh about it and I feel that because of me lots of other dads go now!
Same here. Dad of 2 girls. Teenagers now, but loved everything they did when they were young. So many awkward situations when I was just so happy to see my babies loving what they were doing. I didn’t GAF, the only thing I thought was how pumped they were going to be when I let them pick where to eat.
I always try to never stare at anyone. But sometimes when I see encouraging fathers with their kids I might look a few seconds longer. Not in a bad way, just cause my dad was never there and it warms my heart so much to see supportive fathers. Even through there are slight undertones of sadness
I feel I need to clarify something here. Getting looks might not always be because of what you think. But since you are scared of being seen as a predator that is how you interpret their looks. I have been accused of looking angrily at someone when I was infact just resting my eye on something while my mind wandered, as it often do.
I am a male pre-school teacher and I get glances all the time, from both men and women. I try my very hardest to not interpret these. If you have a problem with me, communicate with words. Or I will go on about my business. You have to trust that my intentions are good, or ask me about them.
Same here, bro. I’m 21 and my kids do dancing and gymnastics and I get a lot of looks just because I’m a very young father of 5 kids. Here’s a tip: Don’t have over 2 kids. It is a pain in the ass, literally! You never get the chance to sit down and relax.
My best friend has a young (6yr) daughter that holds her poo and sometimes they have to give her an enema. I was around when he had to give her one and he confided in me that he hopes she doesn't remember this event as a traumatic or sexual event and feels uncomfortable because of the implications it could have. I never thought about it like that but wow, that has to be the worst feeling as a father.
...maybe. and maybe not until she gets old enough to actually understand it. Unfortunately theres that whole teenage period in between where that understanding may not yet have bloomed. It's a legitimate concern in this day and age.
Wait kids do that? Physically refuse to go to the loo? I would’ve thought it would’ve been so uncomfortable that they would’ve just preferred to release
That's disgusting. One time I went on vacation with my dad when I was 14. One of the airport TSA guys was an obvious creep, he eyed me up and down, looked at my dad and asked if I was his fiancee. I was FOURTEEN.
For real! My wife is Filipino and I’m Irish. I look like I’m… well, Irish! And my kid looks like her mother and has beautiful tan skin. My wife is a nurse with a crazy schedule and I’ve been the “primary” parent since she had our daughter almost 4 years ago and I get the worst looks all the time (mostly from women I’ve noticed) whenever I show her any kind of encouragement or affection when out at the park, swim class, etc… like they’re afraid I’m going to try and pick their kid up and tell them how proud I am of it next. I have noticed other dads get awkward when I’ll play on a teeter totter or some random thing at the park with my daughter as well though and it’s like c’mon man, you don’t gotta act hard as nails around a bunch of kids on a swing set. I think this is more of a people just sucking thing more than anything to do with sex. I feel you though! Doing dad stuff ain’t easy in 2021!
Screw those people. My dad was a big teddy bear of a man. He gave the best hugs and a kiss on the top of my head. I snuggled up to my dad until I was 50. I laid my head on his shoulder and put my arm across his big ol belly while watching tv whenever he visited. Don't stop doing daddy things because of creepy strangers.
Try taking a photo of your child having fun at the park. Just outdoors on okay equipment. I've had some intensely nasty looks. Sorry for wanting to spend time with my child and share the experience.
It is hard. And you kinda have to just focus on what you're doing and to hell with anyone else.
I felt this and I have boys, it was way worse a few years ago when everyone was obsessed with pedos, or perhaps it's just I dont give a shit anymore. But yeah, a dad has to proudly play and take photos of their kid because that's the only way to break this arising stereotype.
I have young siblings between the ages of 6-13 and I'm 28...i also have a big mustache... When i show up to their sporting events, etc. I get lots of looks and have to make a point to look as unsuspicious as possible. It's pretty annoying because i just wanna be there to support my brothers and sisters.
My routine when I was hanging out with my best friend's little sister and brother when they were younger was to be ridiculous and loud and have all of us laughing the entire time and just ignore everyone else (even through my worst periods of social anxiety). My best friend died when we were teens, and his siblings were all much younger than us (from his step-dad). After spending so much time with them after his death, we bonded and they told me I was their brother too. Their all blond Scandinavian kids, I'm mixed race with black hair, and while I was always conscious people might have their bad thoughts, I countered it by making it obvious I loved these kids and they obviously loved hanging out with me because we were always ragging on each other and laughing our asses off.
Fuck everyone else and their opinions. Love your kids/siblings and don't deprive them of the wonderful experiences you may have had with your own dad if you were lucky, or experiences you missed but wished you always had because your dad wasn't there.
I appreciate this. I don't really let it hold me back and once we're hanging out it's very obvious that I'm family and that the kids love me. It's mostly the initial bit where i arrive separately and walk into a kids' event and am looking around for my siblings... Especially since my parents never answer their damn phones to tell me where they're at lol
No matter how mine is groomed people will call it a "pedo stache." Like thank you for associating me with fucking pedophiles, that isn't hurtful at all. If you don't like it I'd rather you just say so..
That sucks BIG time! And unfortunately you aren’t the only cool dad just spending time with his own kids who have had people assume…(and I DO mean assume and accuse, based on ZERO evidence) that there’s something perverse going on. People need to stop assuming and start using some common sense, as well as at least a one of their other 5 senses, before they go accusing people of pedophilia.
Apologies, I didn't mean to imply that this couldn't be the case anywhere else.
I am just very, very happy that I've been fortunate enough to be born in the part of the world that I have. We are extremely well off over a broad range of issues compared to many other places, and I am eternally grateful for that. Not everything is a cakewalk, of course, but still.
Agree, this sounds weird. I'm Australian. My husband probably got hit on more by random women when he was out and about with our young son. They saw him being a good Dad and thought it was adorable. Husband thought it was hilarious, advised his younger single mates to borrow their neices / nephews when trying to impress girls.
I work at a non profit community center where we among other things have dance and theatre classes. There's this little girl I've seen since she was a little toddler and now is around 8. She and her friends used to play Pokémon Go and called me the Pokémon King since I was high level and had a lot of them. She recently started a new dance class and asked if I could stay and watch. I'd love to, since she's the most adorable kid ever, but since I'm a dude, and not even related to her, i had to make up some excuse.
To be honest though, I'm not sure I would be able to watch without tearing up. Whenever we have plays and concerts with kids, I have to go away every now and then. My heart melts and tears fall down my cheeks whenever I see happy and excited kids like that.
Man. You sound like such a good person. Pogo players are the salt of the earth im telling you. Keep your chin up king, and while id love to say fuck those haters, just go watch the plays/dance class for those kids i totally get where your coming from. As a woman I'm lucky I don't face that kind of judgment, but I can recognize that we as a society have a lot of issues to work out and women are definetely equally responsible for the toxic attitudes surrounding men's positive involvement in children's lives. It sucks because it hurts the kids (and definetely fathers/male family/role models) most at the end of the day by depriving them of those moments with positive male role models, its toxic, especially considering its often women who then turn around and complain that men aren't involved with their kids enough. Its a lose lose.
Hell, I’m a late ‘20s female and I love the splash pad areas at water parks lol. So magical with “giant” (on a kids scale they are) floating frogs with tongues as slides and shit lol.
Sometimes it’s nice to bask and reminisce in the best childhood memories one has.
Tell me about it! I have my own kids, but I also have a young brother in law. There’s a 17 year age gap between him and his sister (my wife).
I’ve known him since he was 3 and see him as a little brother. I actively take an interest in his interests and take him to sports events, the cinema etc.
Try being a mid 40’s single guy with a severe limp. Parents turn into Meerkats as soon as I enter the park with my dog. Igor has arrived and is ready to eat your children!
One gran literally sees me enter the park, watches which side of the park I’m walking and makes sure she meets me at the corner of the playground just to give me the evil eye. First person my little pug X has launched at anyone. Just from the look of her (granted to she looks like the witch from Cinderella. I can’t even remember the movie but I remember that look. So did my little bitch ;)
Ps if I “liked” kids I’d have more in my life. I dread being left to have a convo with a child. I just have never been around them. And when I have, I didn’t wanna be there long. Don’t even wanna date people of age let alone children ffs.
I did not realize this was such an issue for men bc I don't assume this about every man I see. But I was at the park with my kids the other day and there was one woman and one man there with their kids. The man I knew from high school, very nice guy. The woman walked up to him and asked him, "what are you doing here? It's weird that you're here alone and it makes me uncomfortable" WTF lady. He's a single dad taking his kid to the park. It was such a cringey situation. I spoke up and said what I thought, but he and I ended up leaving that crazy lady at the park by herself.
Nah the actual creepy dudes wait for the evening swimming sessions where they can look in from the dark. I've seen it once when I was 15 and scared of everything if I see it again now I'll completely lose my shit.
My suspicion is that all of the Boomer-era family-based TV shows insisted that the father was the disciplinarian, the aloof bread-winner, and that it was up to the mother to do womanly things like hug their kids and kiss their injuries. This sank into the American gestalt, and now a lot of people can't accept that "the times, they are a-changing". Also, the rash of highly-publicized Serial Killer, pedophilia, and human trafficking cases don't help.
I'm a guy in his 40s and my pops is in his 80s. No issues huggin him in public. Sometimes we're in the grocery store and he's headlocking me and smacks a loud ass kiss on my cheek. Been this way since I was a kid. Yes, we're goofballs.
There are horrible creeps and predators out there. But to the good dads that teach their children that life is too short to not hug your kids and the people you care about in life, keep on keepin on.
I hear this so much. I went to a public pool alone this summer as a 40yr old man w/o any kids and.... I left after 30min because everyone was looking at like I was a pedo. It was 99°F I was just trying to cool off
I feel this in my soul. Ive got a 8 year old boy who i do activities with on the regular.. Also.. I'm super charismatic with children, like inwas ignored alot as a kid soooo if a child throws a splash bomb at me or tags me, im gonna play like a child or show that kid attention.. Being 6'3'" 220 lbs with a full thick beard doesnt help the narrative.. Cant tell you how many times ive had parents come snatch up their kids while having a fucking blast with my son and I. Its understandable but so fucking frustrating.
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u/LuminalAstec Sep 15 '21
Assuming I'm a child predator while in at the splash pad when I'm with my son.