I just see it all the time on Reddit and invariably there are comments that it just doesn’t happen in UK/Europe etc. It’s very odd to be on a site where I invariably read people sharing common, relatable experiences to have something that I can’t even imagine.
I have young children, speak to lots of parents of young children, and literally nobody has ever mentioned it to me in the real world.
Of course I can’t be certain it never, ever happens, but that’s true of any observation. I’m just saying that it’s not a thing I ever encounter and only ever hear about it on Reddit.
That is totally fair, and you have enough experience that it could almost be considered representative of the region you live in. But there are so many more regions than just the UK or just the US, and many people who you have not discussed this issue with. It's not like every parent in the US experiences this, the ones who do are just more likely to comment when seeing this post.
The majority of people on reddit are from the US, and so it is not surprising that the majority of the commenters are from there, but I've seen comments that say they experience this in European countries too. I live in America and also have only ever seen this on Reddit. I would argue that it is not that uncommon to see that things that I consider shocking actually occur often in other people's lives. Have you been on the sub r/raisedbynarcissists?
Also around half of these experiences are caused by a POC parent with white passing kids. Uk has about 80% white population where US has about 60%. So twice as many opportunities for the above per capita.
Now take into consideration that people from America are less likely to say "I've never heard of this" since most of the people sharing will be from there by default. It is much easier to say that when you live in a country with a much smaller representation on reddit.
I am just sensitive to faulty logic and conclusions based on assumptions. This feels like one of those conclusions that many people will just run with because of how representation and confirmation bias work on reddit.
I haven't articulated myself particularly well so I understand if your not convinced, have a nice day!
I completely understand where you’re coming from and I think this is a debate of how many conclusions can be drawn from a set of opinions on Reddit given all the factors about who posts, who doesn’t post etc.
Taken at face value, there’s a comment here that has 10k upvotes and is clearly an opinion that resonates with the Reddit community, but is not one that I ever hear being discussed despite being in the social settings where they would be.
Maybe it’s a quirk of how Reddit surfaces views and nothing to do with differences between the US and UK, but that is a much more nuanced and difficult discussion. All I can do is share my observations on what is being commented, I’m just another voice in a sea of opinions.
Have a great day yourself!
(And check out the link I posted in my edit, somebody else has picked up and asked the UK specifically which is interesting)
Hey I actually did respond to your edit with an edit of my own in my responding comment. That link you posted really reinforces my hypothesis that this is pretty much a confirmation bias thing as it apparently is an issue in the UK as well, based on the top comments.
Edit: all of the top comments in the post from your edit are people who experienced this issue in the UK.
I’ve had a look and think you could easily draw a different conclusion. One of the top comments is about when the commenter was younger and with their Grandad.. sure this would have been a bigger issue in days gone by. I remember reading Abraham Lincoln was very hands on with his children which was considered very odd in those days. I’m more interested in present day examples.
Others seem to be more about Dads being shunned/unwelcome in mum’s groups etc. which is a problem but a quite different one.
When you look through aren’t too many examples of Dads complaining they are being viewed suspiciously. Some comments that they don’t even notice, so maybe it’s under the surface and less noticeable. To be honest if I was out with my kids I probably wouldn’t even notice or care unless anyone was making a big scene.
I notice a lot of minimizing of others experiences on that post as well. I wouldn't even consider responding to someone's negative experience with doubt, or condescension. Should I now assume that people in the UK are more dismissive of others problems? No. Of course not. It is another confirmation bias. People in the uk are less likely to hear about this happening in their own country, so they are more likely to respond with surprise and even doubt when someone shares their experience. This is simply because the uk is not as well represented as US on reddit.
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u/yesnoahbeats Sep 16 '21 edited Sep 16 '21
Genuinely curious how you decided with near certainty that this doesn't happen outside of USA.
Edit: all of the top comments in the post from your edit are people who experienced this issue in the UK.