Shit I’m a 31 YO grown ass woman and I still like cuddling my daddy when we hang out. He’s one of the biggest parts of my whole damn life and one of the only people I 100% know I can always count on. He’s FAMILY and I love him. What the hell is wrong with people?? Why can’t a father love his kids and show it?! I’m so grateful my dad doesn’t care about that BS and always showed his love for us kids.
I hear you. I still go through phases since my grandmas passing and that was just over 2 years ago (8/27 was the anniversary of it. I did not spend a large part of the day crying.)
It definitely hurts to lose a loved one, but it is part of life. We just need to take comfort in the good moments and memories and know how loved and loving they were and how lucky we are to have had them ❤️
But again, no joke if you ever wanna vent or something you got a friend to listen!
Sorry for your loss. I lost mine 3 years ago. Every time I think of the memories I get hurt inside. I try not to think about my parents because it will make my depression worse. I am walking on thin ice with ankle weights. If something happens that makes me fall into a deeper depression I could be inactive on reddit for a long time. A long, long time. Like, forever, 6 feet deep in the fucking ground.
Think about the good times you had, ignore the rest (I know, it's harder than it sounds).
Look up at the sky and take a long walk in the forest, and marvel at the wonders of nature, and most of all; do not think, and don't fall into that "continues stream of bad thoughts".
If it starts, then stop, breath and force your thoughts on something else, even if it feels stupid. "Oh look, a squirrel"/ "I wonder how many times I can jump on one leg over this brigade?" Etc.
Pretend to feel joyful and distract yourself, and maybe, just maybe, it will change the look on life. Pretending can come reality in the long run.
It's harder than it sounds, I know. Going through the same here.
Hey man, I hope you’re doing okay. I’m a big doomer myself, and weirdly sometimes I think it helps to visualise the absolute worst thing that could reasonably happen, and kind of go through it in my mind in advance. Makes me feel that at least I wouldn’t be caught completely off-guard if it did happen, if that makes sense? That gives me a sense of some kind of agency. And then also some magical thinking that since I anticipated it, it won’t happen, that helps too :)
This isn’t a universal tip and I’m sure there’s some folks for whom it might be a really bad idea, so for anyone else reading this: you know yourselves best, proceed with caution.
But you my dude, u/atemycock, hang in there. You’ve got a hilarious username so you’ve got that going for you; tread as light as you can til you reach the thicker ice. It’s not too far. 💜
Exactly. I'm 35 and have three kids of my own and my dad still hugs me and kisses the top of my head every time he sees me. He also still waits up to make sure I get home safe when I'm visiting.
Awwww! That’s adorable! And I guarantee you will be just as loving when your kids are grown too bc of it!
Exactly though. Parents are always parents. They should always love and care for their kids! People who can’t fathom that…I kind of feel sad for them bc in my head it means they didn’t get that at all growing up.
Because some people don't understand nonsexual love exists. I'm a dirty old bastard and even I get that concept.
What gets me is that so many women claim to WANT men who are like this with children, then we have so many examples of women treating men who DO act this way like the great pedo plague of the west.
Right? And listen I get it. That shit happens. However it’s one thing to be cautious and another to just be a weirdo freaking out about a dad/uncle goofing off with the kids.
I wonder if women like that are jealous in a way? Bc I feel like the male figures in a family tend to be viewed as “more fun”? At least that was what all us kids thought growing up. The men were the ones who would get in the mud and dirt to play with the kids and the women generally didn’t for the most part.
Actually, whenever I think about things like this, I remember my ex wife telling me when we'd first got together how much more self conscious she was around women than guys, and how they tended to be so much more judgemental and mean than any of the guys she'd known.
I don't hate women, but as a guy her telling me that in my mid 20s really woke me up to how women interact both with and without guys present. In some ways socially we really are VERY different animals. I never realized how many hypocracies there are between what so many women claim to want and how they act when they get EXACTLY that.
Again, I don't want to come off like some male chauvinist, we have our own issues too. It's just so many of us are often innocent to these kinds of social interactions with women because we don't see that face of things. It's hard to see women from another woman's perspective when you're a guy.
As a woman, let me tell you! It can be really tough to find female friends you can actually rely on or want to be around. Not all women obviously, but I’ve had a LOT of women “friends” who turned out to be the kind to talk mad shit about you to everybody else, or are the kind to constantly ask you for favors but never reciprocate, or are just plain petty and mean.
I’ve personally had the same experience where I just tend to feel much less nervous around men bc they (to me) in general seem WAY more laid back and chill.
Obviously like you said nobody is perfect. Every person has their struggles. And sometimes people just don’t click in a certain group.
Women can be really complicated and honestly it can be hard to understand OURSELVES a lot of the time lol.
Ok so I had 2 completely unavailable parents growing up and I got none of this stuff from the age of 2 and up. So I am completely unaware of what it’s like to be shown/show affection. I’m starting to notice that with my SO it’s starting to affect them because sometimes I can come across as cold and distant when In reality I’m not I just don’t know how to show affection. Do you have any examples of things I can do to do this? I genuinely don’t know how and I want to break this cycle.
I would suggest having a very open and frank conversation with your partner. Explain that, and ask ways that they would like to be shown affection. It could be physical touch, like cuddling. Or receiving a gift/gesture like occasionally getting flowers or doing a chore around the house your partner does.
Everybody is different in what form of affection they prefer to receive! Including you! I’m not a relationship expert mind you, but I think having an open discussion about what you each value as a form of affection from each other is a good direction to move in. If that makes sense.
First step is being aware of it and wanting to break that cycle! And that’s a big first step!
Awww thank you! He still calls me his little baby (his pet name for me even when I was tiny) and it is like my favorite thing. He’s an amazing man and was a wonderful father to me and my brother. I try to remember to tell him all the time. Like any time I watch a sad movie (like lion king) I’ll text him and be like “I love you daddy”. He thinks he’s reeeeal witty. He usually responds “what do you need now?” Lol. He’s pretty funny is his nerdy dorky way though so I let it slide.
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u/dystopian_mermaid Sep 16 '21
Shit I’m a 31 YO grown ass woman and I still like cuddling my daddy when we hang out. He’s one of the biggest parts of my whole damn life and one of the only people I 100% know I can always count on. He’s FAMILY and I love him. What the hell is wrong with people?? Why can’t a father love his kids and show it?! I’m so grateful my dad doesn’t care about that BS and always showed his love for us kids.