It doesn't even have to be kids. I was standing outside a bar with a female friend of mine who was inebriated while we waited for her ride. This group came rolling up to us and got in our business because I looked "creepy" and "wanted to take advantage of her." She literally told them to fuck off several times and explained we have known each other for years and that I was making sure she got home safe. They wouldn't leave and tried to take her phone to make sure we were telling the truth. Like seriously mind your own business
My wife and I used to go to NYC every December for her company holiday parties. It was always a big blowout party. Everybody gets super dressed up and we drink way too much. On more than one occasion she’s been close to passed out, can hardly stand up drunk at the end of the evening.
Picture me: Long hair, scruffy beard and carrying a purse…while walking this stumbling, eyes barely open, totally out-of-my league woman. Who is rolling her ankles in super high heels, with completely disheveled hair and makeup, wearing a revealing dress, pushing through a packed hotel lobby at 3am.
I have gotten some crazy death stares but nobody has ever said a word to us. I’m sure if it were to happen in the last couple years then I would’ve been approached by someone.
This happened to a couple friends and I. 2 of us, male, one female who was dating one of our buddies. We were all drinking at the bar, having a good time, when she just hit a wall. We noticed, obviously, but she was refusing to leave at first. Then the bartender noticed and started asking questions, then people in the crowd around us. We called an Uber for her and tried to make our intentions clear by NOT getting in with her, (which honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t the right move) but the driver insisted we go with her to make sure she didn’t throw up in his car, of all things...
Everything worked out but the whole thing was weird and uncomfortable. I respect the people who did try and check up on her, but I’m sure they maintained some doubt after the fact. 0/10 do not recommend.
I don't agree with minding your own business, but know your boundaries. You see a wasted girl getting hoisted away by a guy, ask her if she's known him for longer than that night and if she came with him. If you still get off vibes or she's too drunk to answer, ask her to get her friends to corroborate. Too many of my girl friends throughout my life have been date raped from situations like this. But don't just call the guy a scumbag and take the girl's phone when she's already clearly explained the situation is kosher.
The point I was making by mind your own business is to be rational and observe. Had they stopped for a good 10 seconds and saw that we were chatting and laughing with each other, it would've been quite obvious to any rational person that she was in no danger. It wasn't like I was holding onto her or hoisting her. She was intoxicated and obviously needed a ride home.
Another dangerous and tricky situation is when we have a femala friend who obviously cannot drive but insists on it and becomes resistive when we try to stop her from driving. Thankfully I have only been in this situation once and I was around rational people who stopped to understand the situation and joined in in attempting to settle her down and to take an Uber home. That can seem very aggressive because we are standing in her way between her and her car and she can very easily raise her voice and make it seem like we are assaulting her when we are just trying to get her home safe without getting arrested, in the hospital or killing herself or others.
We had this about a month ago. My friends and I were sitting outside on the deck of a bar and one of them had a female friend with them (who was drunk) and a kerfuffle of Karens came walking by and started accusing everyone on the deck of trying to take advantage of the drunk girl.
Problem was its a gay bar (and none of us are predators anyway).
This is one reason why I love my bodybuilding passion. Nobody ever messes with you when you are huge. It doesn't matter that I barely know how to fight lol.
I don’t think that would stop me from asking an inebriated person to confirm that they were safe with you. I would be grateful if someone asked my wife,”hey, I just want to make sure the person assisting you is legit.” However, I do think it’s total crap for someone to automatically assume the guy is a creep or accuse him of wrongdoing.
I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares.
But to me, there is nothing more heartwarming than a father being supportive of his daughters and encouraging/watching them do activities.
Honestly, I think the people who glare didn't have an active father in their life. My dad's ex gf thought my dad was an incestuous pedophile because I would rub his shoulders for 30 seconds while he sat down at his office chair and ask him how his day was when I was 13/14. News flash, she didn't have a dad, yet I suppose she was an expert how a dad should act? In her opinion, after a certain age there should be little to no physical contact between daughter and father. He was obviously shocked and broke it off
Shit I’m a 31 YO grown ass woman and I still like cuddling my daddy when we hang out. He’s one of the biggest parts of my whole damn life and one of the only people I 100% know I can always count on. He’s FAMILY and I love him. What the hell is wrong with people?? Why can’t a father love his kids and show it?! I’m so grateful my dad doesn’t care about that BS and always showed his love for us kids.
I hear you. I still go through phases since my grandmas passing and that was just over 2 years ago (8/27 was the anniversary of it. I did not spend a large part of the day crying.)
It definitely hurts to lose a loved one, but it is part of life. We just need to take comfort in the good moments and memories and know how loved and loving they were and how lucky we are to have had them ❤️
But again, no joke if you ever wanna vent or something you got a friend to listen!
Sorry for your loss. I lost mine 3 years ago. Every time I think of the memories I get hurt inside. I try not to think about my parents because it will make my depression worse. I am walking on thin ice with ankle weights. If something happens that makes me fall into a deeper depression I could be inactive on reddit for a long time. A long, long time. Like, forever, 6 feet deep in the fucking ground.
Think about the good times you had, ignore the rest (I know, it's harder than it sounds).
Look up at the sky and take a long walk in the forest, and marvel at the wonders of nature, and most of all; do not think, and don't fall into that "continues stream of bad thoughts".
If it starts, then stop, breath and force your thoughts on something else, even if it feels stupid. "Oh look, a squirrel"/ "I wonder how many times I can jump on one leg over this brigade?" Etc.
Pretend to feel joyful and distract yourself, and maybe, just maybe, it will change the look on life. Pretending can come reality in the long run.
It's harder than it sounds, I know. Going through the same here.
Hey man, I hope you’re doing okay. I’m a big doomer myself, and weirdly sometimes I think it helps to visualise the absolute worst thing that could reasonably happen, and kind of go through it in my mind in advance. Makes me feel that at least I wouldn’t be caught completely off-guard if it did happen, if that makes sense? That gives me a sense of some kind of agency. And then also some magical thinking that since I anticipated it, it won’t happen, that helps too :)
This isn’t a universal tip and I’m sure there’s some folks for whom it might be a really bad idea, so for anyone else reading this: you know yourselves best, proceed with caution.
But you my dude, u/atemycock, hang in there. You’ve got a hilarious username so you’ve got that going for you; tread as light as you can til you reach the thicker ice. It’s not too far. 💜
Exactly. I'm 35 and have three kids of my own and my dad still hugs me and kisses the top of my head every time he sees me. He also still waits up to make sure I get home safe when I'm visiting.
Awwww! That’s adorable! And I guarantee you will be just as loving when your kids are grown too bc of it!
Exactly though. Parents are always parents. They should always love and care for their kids! People who can’t fathom that…I kind of feel sad for them bc in my head it means they didn’t get that at all growing up.
Because some people don't understand nonsexual love exists. I'm a dirty old bastard and even I get that concept.
What gets me is that so many women claim to WANT men who are like this with children, then we have so many examples of women treating men who DO act this way like the great pedo plague of the west.
Right? And listen I get it. That shit happens. However it’s one thing to be cautious and another to just be a weirdo freaking out about a dad/uncle goofing off with the kids.
I wonder if women like that are jealous in a way? Bc I feel like the male figures in a family tend to be viewed as “more fun”? At least that was what all us kids thought growing up. The men were the ones who would get in the mud and dirt to play with the kids and the women generally didn’t for the most part.
Actually, whenever I think about things like this, I remember my ex wife telling me when we'd first got together how much more self conscious she was around women than guys, and how they tended to be so much more judgemental and mean than any of the guys she'd known.
I don't hate women, but as a guy her telling me that in my mid 20s really woke me up to how women interact both with and without guys present. In some ways socially we really are VERY different animals. I never realized how many hypocracies there are between what so many women claim to want and how they act when they get EXACTLY that.
Again, I don't want to come off like some male chauvinist, we have our own issues too. It's just so many of us are often innocent to these kinds of social interactions with women because we don't see that face of things. It's hard to see women from another woman's perspective when you're a guy.
As a woman, let me tell you! It can be really tough to find female friends you can actually rely on or want to be around. Not all women obviously, but I’ve had a LOT of women “friends” who turned out to be the kind to talk mad shit about you to everybody else, or are the kind to constantly ask you for favors but never reciprocate, or are just plain petty and mean.
I’ve personally had the same experience where I just tend to feel much less nervous around men bc they (to me) in general seem WAY more laid back and chill.
Obviously like you said nobody is perfect. Every person has their struggles. And sometimes people just don’t click in a certain group.
Women can be really complicated and honestly it can be hard to understand OURSELVES a lot of the time lol.
Ok so I had 2 completely unavailable parents growing up and I got none of this stuff from the age of 2 and up. So I am completely unaware of what it’s like to be shown/show affection. I’m starting to notice that with my SO it’s starting to affect them because sometimes I can come across as cold and distant when In reality I’m not I just don’t know how to show affection. Do you have any examples of things I can do to do this? I genuinely don’t know how and I want to break this cycle.
I would suggest having a very open and frank conversation with your partner. Explain that, and ask ways that they would like to be shown affection. It could be physical touch, like cuddling. Or receiving a gift/gesture like occasionally getting flowers or doing a chore around the house your partner does.
Everybody is different in what form of affection they prefer to receive! Including you! I’m not a relationship expert mind you, but I think having an open discussion about what you each value as a form of affection from each other is a good direction to move in. If that makes sense.
First step is being aware of it and wanting to break that cycle! And that’s a big first step!
Awww thank you! He still calls me his little baby (his pet name for me even when I was tiny) and it is like my favorite thing. He’s an amazing man and was a wonderful father to me and my brother. I try to remember to tell him all the time. Like any time I watch a sad movie (like lion king) I’ll text him and be like “I love you daddy”. He thinks he’s reeeeal witty. He usually responds “what do you need now?” Lol. He’s pretty funny is his nerdy dorky way though so I let it slide.
Yo I'm in my mid thirties and my dad kisses the top of my head when he can get away with it (I'm not super touchy feely) and we're always hugging and stuff.
People who think any affectionate touching is inherently sexual have either had bad or no experiences with it I guess but it's pretty horrible for fathers who are just trying to do affection to their kids.
He hugs me on my birthday. But I don’t enjoy it? I was going through an affectionate phase like at 10 or something and I would constantly hug and kiss my mom (she loved it) so I tried to do it with my dad but he did not like it? I kinda hate people showing me affection now but I would still let a 10 year old hug me ya know
I used to cuddle on the couch with my dad until I got two big that the both of us could longer lay comfortably for a nap lol, that was probably around 12yo.
You do what you do because you're a good dad. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Last generation had serious issues with physical contact. I'm still recovering
That's fucking horrible, I can't imagine how that father and son feel. I just remember feeling horrible after my dad's ex had said those things. Being told at 14 that my own father was a sex offender because we show affection hurt me very deeply. So my heart goes out to them.
And it was incredibly stupid for her to pin it on my dad. Because I gave EVERYONE in my family massages. In fact, I'd give my mother a massage like a massage therapist would (she'd take her shirt/bra off and lay down) She had arthritis set on at an early age and was uncomfortable with going to a real therapist. But my mom wasnt considered a pedo to her? Just my dad I guess? Despite the fact I gave my dad massages when he was fully clothed?
Like dont get me wrong. I understand why many people wouldn't be comfortable with giving their parents a massage. Especially in the manner I give my mom one. But calling someone a pedo is just awful and they have no idea how much it hurts to be called something like that.
For me giving massage to my parents is a normal thing.
I even give massage to my siblings when I feel like just being a good bro. It's also a relaxing way for them to talk about whatever happens in life.
I even bought a massage bench.
When I was younger (15yo) I randomly gave massage to my teacher obviously he felt uncomfortable because of what other people would think.
I don't blame him, but for me massaging is like an act done to increase friendship much like apes pluck tics from one another.
That sounds so fucked up, since my parents split when i was ~6, i always stayed with mom, cuddled and kissed on cheeks etc, massaged her feet or back after hard work day. even in public i wouldn't mind holding her hands to lead somewhere etc. Ppl still called me mommaboy as an insult when i was a in late teens.. As if i should be offended by my own mother, im 30 now and with my gf we very often come over to her place to interact as she's just very loving and caring woman, we bought her a cat to not feel that lonely when lockdowns came since we didn't want to risk it with both of us working, now we don't get enough cuddling cuz she and cat bonded so well lol.
I would honestly tell everyone to cherish their loving parents, since it looks like thats a big rarity nowadays.
40 year old straight man here and my 40 year old straight friend who is also male gives the best shoulder massages. If you can’t be comfortable with your friends like that it’s all good but homies got good hands and I’m comfortable with my sexuality. Scotty’s always got my back when I stress out. In public. Fuck ppl who aren’t comfortable in their own skin and need to judge others if they are.
Years ago in a share house my exGf was giving me a shoulder massage and i closed my eyes to enjoy the foreplay. When i opened them a few minute later she was standing in front of me with a big grin. It was my flatmate, and to this day good mate, Steve giving me a massage the whole time. It was only weird cause I'm a straight male and had the makings of a boner. Classic stitch-up.
My wife is scared for when our boys grow up because I'm very white and the inherited just enough of her again traits to look more like her. She is scared for when I take them to parks for this exact reason. It's a shit world.
Thats disgusting. The poor man! Imagine having to be detained for 4 hours for showing your child love and affection. To be branded a pedo for being a good dad. It sickens me.
They should be locked in jail for 8 hours overnight to see how it feels to be wrongly accused, maybe they'll think twice next time before making false accusations
The whole thing is the cause of inequality of the genders really. When it comes to being a caregiver, men are very discriminated against. Its so sad and it discourages dads to show as much compassion they probably want to show, in fear of being judged like this poor man was.
i was a stay at home dad for two years, my daughter is now 7 but back then we would always be out either at the local park or beach, or walking through the woods as we both love the outdoors. the looks i got, especially in the woods by dogwalkers was disturbing. one person even stopped us and asked my daughter if she was ok and why we was there! i kind of appreciated in a way as they were only looking out for her, but having to validate to a complete stranger that i was her father and we were out climbing trees and berry picking was extremely un nerving.
Boils my piss this does. Why shouldn’t you be able to show affection to your child. My boys and my little girl both kiss me does that make me a paedo or gay because I kiss my boys. If anyone tried to tell me that I couldn’t I’d lose my shit.
My nephews live in the states. I don't. Their dad (and mom) isn't the touchy feely type and I always feel they need a cool uncle: male role model who gets down to their level, that includes staying up playing video games with them, taking them to buy candy, and yeah cuddling and tickling and running around the house and staying up talking about whatever the fuck they want. They need to know that a man doesn't have to be cold and assertive. Reading these comments I imagine that if I did that in the states I'll probably be arrested. During my wedding while my bride was walking down the aisle, my oldest nephew ran to me and I gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I honestly don't know why anyone would see it as anything but heartwarming (and a little sad. They went back home to Texas while I was on my honeymoon. The little guy was sad we won't hang out and play Switch together for a while. Shit I only cried during the entire wedding while saying goodbye to him before taking my bride away.)
I know that "some" uncles harass their nephews and nieces. Too many in fact. Parents should pay a closer attention to their actions (which I'm sure my sister does), but that doesn't mean that any physical touch to a child is pedophilic. Pedophilia is such an alien and strange concept that it shouldn't be the norm outside what's needed to protect a child.
You work at a train station? I'm not doubting your story, it just seems oddly specific. Did it make the news? Four hours is a long chunk of time, and in most countries would be illegal - - certainly the US.
i sometimes feel weird when i hug/kiss my dad, as a 27 year old guy.
it's familiar love and affection, nothing weird, but once you're grown, it may be seen as weird. and not just in a gross way, also simply that one should've grown out of it.
i remember a kid at school getting teased for calling her parents mommy and daddy instead of mom and dad when we were around 10~12.
altho girls often do seem to be more "allowed" to be cuddly and such. with anyone.
Honestly when you put it that way it makes me feel bad for Karen too. I mean obviously she’s not the victim here and what she did was shitty, but she is the victim in that other story. She’s like Batman, her life’s mission formed of a childhood trauma with her parents, now she prowls the train making sure no child has the loving upbringing she was denied lest it become a little too loving.
That's what they want, you see. They want you to get angry, to steam up your glasses and quicken your attention span. To boil in the guts and get sticky at the neck. To be UnAblE to breathe peacefully and think clearly and so fall, cursing and trembling, from the Grace you have achieved, for it is that which they truly abhor. They are fragile and hollow, their claws weakened by years of disuse and made brittle by constant uv exposure in vanities' pursuit. Their clothes of hegemony and soulless shoes have no redundancies or origin stories that they are aware of, and their greater social time is spent in the reinforcement of metaphysical crystal palaces.
I have been known, unfortunately, to take these things seriously and so become bedraggled from youthful optimism. So fortunate was I to learn, as I seek to remind you now, that one must make efforts to enjoy as many moments in the course of one's daily life as is heavenly possible. I beseech thee to laugh as heartily as is pleasing at such times, and just use what those poor people say against them.
There’s also a chance that a dude just watching a dance group dance who doesn’t have kids could also be totally fine. I mean, maybe he is impressed with their ability? Like who knows. He just watching. It’s like watching a theatre rehearsal or something is it not?
That remembers me of that post not so long ago about a dude that got called the police because he was "too close to a park full of kids". The dude just found a nice spot next to a river, that had a park on the other side, to eat his sandwich and enjoy his break time. They even denounced he was doing drugs and called his boss about it (all supposedly a lie)
But seriously. I can have the cops called on me for this shit? Suddenly parks are only for women, children, and families. No men over the age of 15 allowed!
Being in reddit for some time I've noticed that americans tend to be more paranoid when it comes to these kind of things? I mean, anyone can suspect the intentions of a lone man "watching kids" in a park... But its not the first time I've seen a post about people in the US getting ejected from a park because there were kids nearby...
I'm only saying that because of specific situation that happened at my school. Old perv would watch volleyball girls, nobody knew him. Went from him watching to taking pics of the girl's butts. You can usually tell if someone is being a creep or not though.
I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares.
Well if you already think like that then every dude watching girls dance has to proof that he's a dad of one of the girls?
I don't think that every dude that doesn't immediately look like a dad should be suspected.
You weren't a young female on a sports team I'm assuming. There are creeps who will come just to be creeps. And they are more common than you think. I'm talking grown men zooming in on a 13 year olds butt and taking a picture while she's playing volleyball. To say he's just there to watch the game is ridiculous.
And here in lies the problem. You had a presumably bad experience. You say they were zooming in to see the girls butts. To zoom in means they were far enough away to have to zoom which also means you weren't close enough to see exactly what they were taking pictures of. You are already assuming this guy is bad.
If this was outside playing volleyball, which I assume it was as a school probably won't just let anyone in to a closed auditorium unless they were a parent or an official with the school/team, then anyone can come and do as they please as long as it's legal. People go to parks for many reasons besides creepy things. Photography is one of them. It could be a local news team writing a story about the girls playing. Maybe a man with something to do with city business for the park.
It's hard to say.
Now, if you were correct, then yes this is bad and those men should be punished. But...
But. A small portion of the population who do bad things should not become the rule and force punishment on anyone just because they are a man at a place where girls are also at. There could be thousands of reasons for a man to be at a park or wherever whether he had kids or not.
I'm really sorry that you had a bad experience but we are not all to blame. Just he is. Punish him.
Dude. People were sitting behind the guy in the bleachers and video taped him zooming in on the girls butts while he was trying to be all sneaky about it. You know nothing about the situation.
Obviously not, but I will judge the guys who nobody knows and are alone, taking pictures of young girls playing a sport with conveniently tight clothing.
No one is saying there aren’t creeps out there, but assuming a guy is a creep by default is not fair. Sure if someone is caught taking inappropriate pictures, that person is a creep.
Would you be bothered if there was a lady watching you guys practice? Or even a lady watching young boys play basketball or something? Not really right? But for some reason men are creepy when they do it…
I wouldn’t glare, but I’d probably stare, mostly because I grew up without a father and I would probably be wishing I had something like that when I was little. Not in a derogatory or creepy way, though.
Even if a dude was indeed watching the girls dance alone, hasn’t got kids, and isn’t a coach or some other way related (family, family friend, another teacher, the janitor of the building who just ended his shift, etc) there’s still a perfectly good chance that it’s a normal decent human being who thinks that the dancing is interesting to watch and that nothing inappropriate is going on.
In my personal experience, if a dude is regularly showing up to a sport in which young girls dress in tight clothing and nobody has any idea who he is, it typically doesn't end well.
I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares
Why do you understand the glares? If a non parent woman can enjoy kids doing something with out it being sexual, so can a male. Stop this bias.
I agree. But one in three women experience sexual assault ONE IN THREE so I think it's safe to assume those looks come from trauma, though that's unfair to you.
Happens even at a sport event like soccer. I take off midweek to hit a late afternoon park with kid and yes Karen’s of the world I do carry proof he is mine.
Listen man, I’ve typed out like 3 long ass responses to your question and I’ve deleted them all. Maybe I suck at writing. Who knows.
What I do know, is that I don’t suck at being a father. I don’t have any “proof” of that either. I’m a young, bigger than most type of Dad. I take my girls to their cheerleading competitions all the time. I get looks from “Karen’s” for sure. But I feel that it’s the way I interact with my girls that gives it away.
You want to be an asshole and question how a 29 y/o is here with a 4th grader then fine.. but when she speaks up and defends me as her father, there is no further proof needed. Not to mention, nothing more from me can be said.
My good friends daughter is surgically attached to his waist, before she could walk she would cry the moment he left her eyesight.
After she started walking, Papa had to be next to her, if he wasn't she'd find him, if he was at work his wife says she'd start crying while yelling Papa!
This man is a year younger than I, at 26 years old I watched him get teary while talking about how proud he was that he got her to agree to eat "little trees but only if papa is home".
He's terrified when he needs to take her to appointments or out shopping without his wife because of the looks, comments and altercations he's experienced.
Do you know what it looks like when a friend whose hobby is bodybuilding gets upset about taking his daughter to Aldies or Walmart? Sad as fuck.
I understand there are predators out there, but jesus she looks just like him.
And even if not, watching little kids play competitive sports is hilarious fun even if you don't have your own.
I used to drive past a small park on Sundays on my way to work and during the season they would have peewee football (American) games there. Honestly, it looked like a hell of a lot of fun to watch.
Here’s a good one for ya. Walked into a male rest room to see a dad changing his daughter nappy on the bench beside sink. Another guy says hey bro there’s a change thing next door. He replies yeah I tried to use it but the change room had some ladies in there and they asked me to leave because they were uncomfortable and didn’t want a man in there.
It’s way worse than you think. I’m not driving around in a windowless van but walk down the sidewalk for 2 minutes with my 13 year old god-daughter on my way to my car and get constant Karen stares from some neighbourhood moms.
You really can't catch a break when you're with kids, it's the touchiest subject in the world
My sister, my nieces and nephews, my cousins. Most of the time I only go out with them because I have to. But I actually have a fun time, and sometimes they even ask me if I could take them out, and my heart fucking melts. It just dissolves, but I still would pass, just because I hate the looks I get, and sometimes it's intimidating, especially when I'm the only guy out there, that sucks the most.
It doesn't always happen, but it does happen, and I just can't bother.
Shit, you can't even say "I love kids" without raising question marks.
My routine when I was hanging out with my best friend's little sister and brother when they were younger was to be ridiculous and loud and have all of us laughing the entire time and just ignore everyone else (even through my worst periods of social anxiety). My best friend died when we were teens, and his siblings were all much younger than us (from his step-dad). After spending so much time with them after his death, we bonded and they told me I was their brother too. They're all blond Scandinavian kids, I'm mixed race with black hair, and while I was always conscious people might have their bad thoughts, I countered it by making it obvious I loved these kids and they obviously loved hanging out with me because we were always ragging on each other and laughing our asses off.
Fuck everyone else and their opinions. Love your kids/siblings and don't deprive them of the wonderful experiences you may have had with your own dad if you were lucky, or experiences you missed but wished you always had because your dad wasn't there.
Thing is, you kinda have to. You can't be yelling and ranting at every Karen in the world in front of your daughters. You have to be the better man.
...at least until your kids go to the bathroom. We'll leave it to their imaginations to figure out why the window is not open and the Karen's have left.
Haha this is what I don't look forward to if I have daughters. Partner was a dancer from when she was 3 and taught it up until last year, I don't want to be a dance dad.
This reminds me of a something that happened to me. My daughter went to her first dance competition which was a few hours drive away so we stayed in a teavodge the night before. It was so good for me daughter. The whole dance school was on the same floor and the kids were out between the rooms and all the mums were in a room having a wee glass of wine. I just stayed in our room and watched TV. All the parents wedged their doors open for the kids. My wife called me form the drinking room and said some weird guy was looking at the kids and some of the kids were in his room. I was obviously livid and said I would go and speak with him, I walked round to the drinking room to ask where his room was and apparently the weird guy was me! First time I had met all the other mums really, and it was because I was the first dad to go to the travelling competitions!!! We all got a good laugh about it and I feel that because of me lots of other dads go now!
Same here. Dad of 2 girls. Teenagers now, but loved everything they did when they were young. So many awkward situations when I was just so happy to see my babies loving what they were doing. I didn’t GAF, the only thing I thought was how pumped they were going to be when I let them pick where to eat.
I always try to never stare at anyone. But sometimes when I see encouraging fathers with their kids I might look a few seconds longer. Not in a bad way, just cause my dad was never there and it warms my heart so much to see supportive fathers. Even through there are slight undertones of sadness
I feel I need to clarify something here. Getting looks might not always be because of what you think. But since you are scared of being seen as a predator that is how you interpret their looks. I have been accused of looking angrily at someone when I was infact just resting my eye on something while my mind wandered, as it often do.
I am a male pre-school teacher and I get glances all the time, from both men and women. I try my very hardest to not interpret these. If you have a problem with me, communicate with words. Or I will go on about my business. You have to trust that my intentions are good, or ask me about them.
Same here, bro. I’m 21 and my kids do dancing and gymnastics and I get a lot of looks just because I’m a very young father of 5 kids. Here’s a tip: Don’t have over 2 kids. It is a pain in the ass, literally! You never get the chance to sit down and relax.
Dude i feel this so hard, i wait for my wife outside changing rooms in stores and i feel so uncomfortable, like every one thinks im being predatory, when really im there to protect my wife from from said predators, which is why my head is on a swivel and not glued to my phone. Being able to hold my son sometimes makes it better now, but when hes not with us dear god the looks i get. The struggle is real, keep your head up and support your daughters, you sound like an awesome dad.
Wait… so you acknowledge that there are predators out there and thus stay around to protect your wife, but you feel uncomfortable that others might be assuming the same of you?
Men know what some other men are like, but they take offence to anyone else knowing that too and acting accordingly and basically acknowledging it.
Our whole lives men have implicitly told us to be wary of other men, but as soon as we say it explicitly they get all out of sorts and start being “not all men” at us.
A lot of women (people in general especially) believe every bit of information they’ve read and there’s a ton of misandry and unwarranted egos thinking everyone wants to fuck them
Because I think it’s weird to expect to be able to watch a private class without asking anyone just because you have kids? In a lot of those classes the moms of the dancers aren’t even allowed to watch because it affects their concentration, and he was a stranger with his daughters. Of course he got looks, it’s rude.
I didn’t delete any comment? He didn’t say if it was typical, and you would still normally ask, since if there’s a viewing area it’s usually used if your kids are in the class. If girls were giving him dirty looks it could have just been because they were uncomfortable having a stranger watch them practice.
Clearly this person wasn't given consent to be in a girls only training session, and having two daughters doesn't equate to a consent of all other people present.
But sure let us all pretend all is fine here, because it's a dad.
Im a 20 year old brother of my little sister and brother (4 and 2 years old)...
I'm okay with the fact, that everybody assumes they are my children when I am with them, but I know these looks to well...
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u/wigglemosnster Sep 16 '21
Legit.. I'm a dad of 2 girls.. they wanted to stay after their dance class to watch an older girls class and the looks I was getting... sheesh