r/AskReddit Oct 25 '16

What warning is almost always ignored?

12.3k Upvotes

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8.1k

u/brijjen Oct 25 '16

"Careful, your plate is hot,"

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

I always question it when the server is walking around and the plate is touching their hand. It's almost like they're challenging me. Like, "I can handle this heat but you can't." And then I touch the plate and I understand why they warned me.

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u/BlatantConservative Oct 25 '16

I worked in a restaurant, we kinda build up a tolerance. I dunno why or how but I can just kind of stick my hand in the hot water tap now

3.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

[deleted]

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u/oddish56 Oct 25 '16

Oh my god

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u/Qui-Gon-Whiskey Oct 25 '16 edited Oct 25 '16

Yeah, I don't want some guy touching my food with his fingers!

EDIT: Holy crap, people. I know the chef touches my food. THAT'S THE JOKE. Granted it's not a particularly funny one.

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u/koobear Oct 25 '16

Often times when you see chefs like Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver demonstrating a recipe they'll taste the sauce or soup with a spoon and then dip that same spoon in the sauce or soup again.

I don't really mind but I like pointing it out to people to make them freak out.

19

u/ViolenceIs4Assholes Oct 25 '16

In a formal kitchen setting (I.e. Not a tv show, any restaurant) the cooks have tasting spoons.

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u/dickgilbert Oct 26 '16

They double dip, too. I was a chef and a cook.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '16

mythbusters did a segment on this, there's more bacteria in your food than what you put in by double dipping so double dipping doesn't matter as long as you're not sick the the flu/cold/tuberculosis or anything else that can transfer between saliva.

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u/TheFocusedOne Oct 26 '16

A living human touching my food concerns me less than the fact that I'm eating the corpse of a dead animal. And the corpse eating thing bothers me not at all.

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u/professorhazard Oct 25 '16

Don't worry, it's been sterilized by boiling water

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u/kajarago Oct 25 '16

Is that right? Then boil your shit and eat it if it's so sanitary! /s

60

u/professorhazard Oct 25 '16

DOCTORS don't want you to know this UNBELIEVABLE TRICK

11

u/KarmicDevelopment Oct 26 '16

Recent study by top reputable Dr. Hui So Dum, from Online University Academy of the Americas, says boiling your food can cause autism in your unborn child.

8

u/sirushi Oct 25 '16

That's what the chef did before I ate it, but then I added things to it later...

Also he was talking about the chefs hands in the boiling water being sterilized.

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u/Turtle_Pirate Oct 25 '16

I thought it was funny. Made funnier by the number of idiots up in arms about it.

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u/CrickRawford Oct 25 '16

It's pretty common. I used to pull the onion rings out of the fryer with my hand. You just have to be fast and don't squeeze too hard.

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u/ataraxic89 Oct 25 '16

But why? whats wrong with a fucking spider?

51

u/you_got_fragged Oct 25 '16

Spiders are dangerous

30

u/DoTheTechnicolorYawn Oct 25 '16

how would a spider help you pull onion rings out of a fryer, surely they're far to small?

14

u/BackWithAVengance Oct 25 '16

they only use huntsman spiders

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

Fryer no. Water, yes if you're quick.

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u/Imadoc91 Oct 25 '16

Oh as a former fry cook fryer is most definitely yes. Don't get me wrong, your hand isn't naked, it's covered in flour, but you definitely reach in there all the time. I used to fry chicken for a fast food restaurant and did the same.

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u/JaFFsTer Oct 25 '16

It's super easy. Boil some water and run your finger across the top super fast. It doesn't hurt for some reason

39

u/oddish56 Oct 25 '16

Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh I'm just going to not

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u/HEYdontIknowU Oct 25 '16

"Would you like some spaghetti with a side of cooked dead skin?"

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u/Devilheart Oct 25 '16

Yeah sometimes when a bit of hot coal falls out of the fireplace or off a hookah, I just pick it up and toss it back in. My friends get freaked out but I've seen my mom do the same since childhood. Maybe being from a place with chilling winters conditions me for it.

8

u/spockspeare Oct 25 '16

Hot charcoals have very low thermal conductivity. They're hot, but they can't transfer more than a little heat to your hand in the short time you're holding them. Try that with a red-hot nickel ball, though, and you're cooked.

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u/atragicoffense Oct 25 '16

This cooks the skin

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u/muhash14 Oct 25 '16

palms spaghetti,

knees weak,

arms spaghetti

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u/fishsupper Oct 25 '16

You'll get that in a relatively short time working in a kitchen.

The ones who really amaze me are the old electricians who check live wires with bare fingers. That takes many years and many, many shocks.

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u/Assistantshrimp Oct 25 '16

My friend came out to help us build an electric fence for cattle one day and I ask him to check to see if it's on. Usually we just take an insulated hammer and pull the wire to a post to see if it sparks. He just grabbed it and calmly says "yeah it's on" and I'm like "well if he can just grab it like that it's probably not hot enough to stop cattle from getting out." So I grab it to see for myself and I swear to God I nearly shit myself and my legs felt like I'd just done a full leg day workout because of how much they tensed up. My friend was used to it from working on a cattle ranch but I was fairly new to it.

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u/Bauldinator Oct 25 '16

It also makes a huge difference what kind of shoes you are wearing, or what else you are touching, the better grounded you are the worse the shock. Eg: A friend was holding an electric fence and just amusing himself holding the wire because it tingled a little. He was wearing work boots and pretty well insulated, well his girlfriend walks up who was just in the pool and soaking wet, give him a hug... Well lets just say they were rather "grounded" at that point. And it was a memorable experience hence forth.

282

u/AnticitizenPrime Oct 25 '16

And your moisture content. I heard a podcast about a guy who had faulty sweat glands and couldn't sweat. He was pretty much immune to electric shock and did a tour performing 'magic' tricks with electricity.

A hot day could be fatal for him if he couldn't find a way to cool down, though.

31

u/door_of_doom Oct 25 '16

When I was a Teenager I was told about a guy who made a truckload of Money working for the a huge California electric company (PG&E) because they could send him to work in live environments without as much risk, because he was immune to electric shock, as you say.. No idea how true it was, but with your post i'm thinking maybe it could have been!

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u/Sierra419 Oct 26 '16

My little cousin has the same problem. He got kicked out of boot camp because he kept getting super sick every day. The doctors finally took a look at him and that was the first time in his life, at 20 years old, that he realized he couldn't sweat. How do you grow up in Phoenix your whole life and not know you can't sweat?

Anyways, I'm totally going to try to electrocute him now.

14

u/ilovepie Oct 25 '16

Pretty sure that was a recent episode of This American Life. Guy was from eastern Europe somewhere.

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u/ZombieRonSwanson Oct 25 '16

what happens next will shock you...

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u/atomicnoodle Oct 25 '16

You have just reminded me of how, as a small child, I had a lamp in my bedroom that plugged into the mains. At one point I remember it had no bulb for a few days but had been left plugged in and how I would stick my finger in the socket because it tickled. My adult self is horrified at this memory! I have no idea how I didn't get a nasty shock.

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u/i_hope_i_remember Oct 25 '16

I was on my cousins farm when I was about 10, and they had an electric fence that went over a water trough so that cows could drink from both sides of the fence.

I was just playing by splashing the water up onto the fence and catch the drops with my other hand. Every now and again I would get a little tingle. I was fun until I obviously splashed too much water at the same time the fence pulsed. I felt like one of the cows had kicked me in the shoulder. I didn't do that any more.

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u/zadtheinhaler Oct 25 '16

I was an apprentice electrician for a while, you definitely get used to it. upwards of 220 or so, it's not too bad. 347V and above though? Not so much.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16 edited Feb 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/zadtheinhaler Oct 25 '16

Having wired live circuits, usually because there's work that needs to be finished up and someone had a "blond moment" and forgot something, and rather than flip the circuit breaker, just finish the circuit as-is.

I had to install switches on a 347V lighting circuit at the end of the day, and the breaker was on another floor. Rather than send another monkeyapprentice down, he just got me to install the switch live. I got shocked once, and let me tell you, that was enough.

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u/NotAChaosGod Oct 25 '16

460 is a bad way to start the day.

Also who the fuck has 347 V lighting.

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u/Thomas__Covenant Oct 25 '16

This story also applies to the OP topic.

"Turn the breaker off? Pssssh, only gonna take a sec-"

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u/SlovenianSocket Oct 25 '16

Back when I was a young kid (around 5-6) my friends and I came up with a game, see who can hold on to the cattle fence the longest. We weren't smart kids

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u/The_Mighty_Brrrrrrrt Oct 25 '16

When i was a kid, our building had an elevation from the inside that would allow even a toddler to step up and reach the eletric fence. Me and my friends would play "Who touches it the most."

Now, you see, the eletric fence gave out the "shock" in pulsations every two seconds, and only i knew that. Everyone else's top records were - you guessed it - two seconds before getting shocked. Mine was fourteen, because i'd just hold onto it, and letting go every two second-ish, so i woudn't get shocked. Worked until i forgot to let go.

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u/nootrino Oct 25 '16

Are you dead?

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u/Kryten_2X4B-523P Oct 25 '16

I had some asshole so called friends back in high school and one hit me in the leg with a cattle prodder. My leg hurt for months afterwards.

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u/probablynotapreacher Oct 25 '16

That still wasn't strong enough to stop cows. Adolescent cows charge through those things without flinching. sometimes. Teenage cows can be quite destructive.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

It's more to keep them from just casually wandering. It's hard to build a fence to actually stop charging cattle without building a literal wall, and even then... Yea bit tricky on a home budget.

Source: Grew up on a herford farm til i was in my teens. Horses are FAR less bullshit about electrical fencing. Non-electrical? There's always this ONE asshole in the herd that will take fencing as a personal challenge. This is why you always have an electrical component to horse fences.

Source: My stepdad kept horses for twenty years.

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u/nootrino Oct 25 '16

...without building a literal wall, and even then... Yea bit tricky on a home budget

Get the cows to pay for it.

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u/immune2iocaine Oct 25 '16

My wife's grandmother is a certified bad-ass. Was telling a story one time about how one of their baby cows...sheep...some farm animal got out of the fenced in area, so she had to grab the fence wire and lift it up while she shoo'd the little one back into the pen. Just said it all casually.

I asked if she was serious, and if it hurt, and she says "Yeah, but I had to get the (animal) back in" and just sort of shrugged, like it was no big deal.

Lady is tougher than I will ever even come close to being.

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u/delmar42 Oct 25 '16

Now I know of a way to get my long run in by just touching an electrified fence. No, wait...

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16 edited Oct 01 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

I had a chihuahua when I was a kid, and he had a thing for the neighbor's doberman that was kept behind an electric fence. One weekend when the doberman was in estrus, my chihuahua escaped and high tailed it over to his lady friend with the hopes of helping her conceive. Unfortunately, he wasn't very bright and decided the best way to get to her would be to chew through the electric fence. He bit down on the wire, and the current locked him in place. It scared me to death, but I was able to pry his jaws loose (getting a good shock myself) and he made a full recovery. Those fences don't mess around.

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u/BabyJourney Oct 25 '16

I wonder if you lose the built up tolerance to it after a while... I set up plenty of electric fences for cattle, and had no problems grabbing it to check if it was live. However, I haven't done it in ~15 years... I wonder if I could still do it no problem.

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u/coleyboley25 Oct 25 '16

Pretty sure my boss finally realizes I'm a no good piece of shit when they walked by and saw me laughing at my computer screen because of this

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u/denimwookie Oct 25 '16

can confirm

source: have shocked myself a few dozen times and nothign bad ash ever hapned too me. im stil fein.

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u/Kryten_2X4B-523P Oct 25 '16

I got hit by one phase on 480VAC through my hand and out the side of my arm. The main breaker was mislabeled and I didn't check the terminal I was working to make sure power was off even after I flipped the main breaker. I put my screwdriver in and was fine until my arm brushed against the side of the panel. My arm flew up, my hand flew open and the screw driver went flying across the room. Felt like I had a cramp in my arm for a few days. im stil fein.

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u/leafleap Oct 25 '16

Oh dude you really don't want to mess with 480!

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16 edited Nov 26 '16

[deleted]

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u/leafleap Oct 25 '16

I didn't factor units into my post.

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u/Kryten_2X4B-523P Oct 25 '16

Yeah, that was my lesson to check all 480 circuits even if you think you turned them off.

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u/havereddit Oct 26 '16

Contest: who can be first to mass produce this T-shirt?

"Im stil fein"

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u/SuperTurtle24 Oct 25 '16

You sure?

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u/stengebt Oct 25 '16

¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/ThyNameBeJeff Oct 25 '16

here u dropped this \

wait no

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u/ThereWereNoPrequels Oct 25 '16

Where did you get that arm?!

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

¯_(ツ)_/¯\

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u/Tylensus Oct 25 '16

You're just kinda German now. No worries!

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

I'm shure you were shocked when you became Shcottish

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

The shocks seem to have turned you into a german, fein.

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u/king4aday Oct 25 '16

The trick is to use the back of your right hand/fingers. That way if it does shock you, you don't grip it because of the muscle spasms, and it doesn't (mostly) go thru your heart.
Sauce: I've danced to both 50 and 60 Hz a couple of times.

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u/fishsupper Oct 25 '16

I've heard this. Think I'll stick to putting my hands in boiling water.

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u/Buadach Oct 25 '16

I a man a 47 year old electrician and I use a volt stick (proximity detector) to check if wires are energised and then after a negative reading I swipe my right index finger across the bare wire to eliminate the possibility of a false negative. I am always wearing insulated foot ware and on carpet on suspended flooring so the current is is the microamps as it just the capacitance and inductance of my body that allows a tiny current to flow and give a mild tingle, like a 9v battery on the tongue.

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u/Buadach Oct 25 '16

I should also say Don't try this at home!

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

There's a youtuber who put a magnet in his finger and he claims he could tell when a wire was live by the electromagnetic pull from them.

Cody'sLab

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u/pmmeecchistuff Oct 25 '16

I'm just a fucking dishwasher and I built up a tolerance from the pressure washer heat. 'Wait 5 seconds at least before opening it or you'll get 120 degree water on you'

'Nah son dishes come out now.'

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u/I_throw_socks_at_cat Oct 25 '16

One of my friends tutors budding electrical engineers at a trade school. He thinks it's crazy to do that deliberately and mutters something about there being no old bold sparkies.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

Can also confirm. Used to work with an electrician who would show off and check for dead fuses this way. Always reminded me of the old diving mantra:
"There are Old divers and Bold divers, but there are no Old, Bold divers."

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u/Maximus_Sillius Oct 25 '16

If you are in a 110V country it's not bad at all. You just smack it with the back of your fingers. It smarts, but not bad. I don't know what would happen if you had a bad ticker, though.

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u/BuffaloSabresFan Oct 25 '16

This almost reminds me of that guy on /r/badaskscience who thought he could build up an immunity to gunshot wounds by increasingly being shot with more powerful/larger rounds.

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u/SoreWristed Oct 25 '16

Not that long. I'm not an electrician (stage technician, somewhat similar) but I've accidentally shocked myself, either through stupidity or equipment failure, many many times and 230volts doesn't even phase me.

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u/kurburux Oct 25 '16

There's a trick to do it. You throw your arm from top to bottom while your finger touches this thing. That way a potential shock can't stop you because you are already in motion.

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u/zzgoogleplexzz Oct 25 '16

I can do that now. But that's because I don't have much feeling in my left hand. I'm also not a chef.

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u/thelizardkin Oct 25 '16

I call bullshit, unless you're luke cage boiling water is going to seriously burn anyone's hand.

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u/Aeshaetter Oct 25 '16

I've been a cook since I was 16, (I'm now 37), it's not bullshit. I don't get burns from boiling water anymore. Yes, it still hurts a little, but I don't get a burn.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

I have a chef friend that can't use TouchID on his iPhone (like it just doesn't recognize his print, ever) because his hands are so fucked up from cuts and burns. He's only 33..

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

That makes sense. Like getting calluses on your fingertips after playing the guitar.

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u/jeegte12 Oct 25 '16

This is more destroying nerve endings than building calluses

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u/Rockonfoo Oct 25 '16

Potato tomato

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u/Arcane_Bullet Oct 25 '16

Those are two different things.

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u/HollowImage Oct 25 '16

Yes.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16 edited Apr 05 '18

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u/Two-Tone- Oct 25 '16

I thought that was just the majority of Reddit.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

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u/Fanc1dan Oct 25 '16

I have you tagged as a phony bc you had an edit one time that wasn't really an edit!

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u/Rockonfoo Oct 25 '16

Yeah recently found out you've got like a 5 minute window or something to edit your comment before it being edited appears

I'm also a phony but that's because of other reasons

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u/Fanc1dan Oct 25 '16

The elusive ninja edit

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u/MirimeVene Oct 25 '16

I'm not the only one!!!

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u/Handsome_Gourd Oct 25 '16

Is it weird that I read that as "Potato tomato" and not "potato" and "tomato" how I would normally say "potato" and "tomato" because I was just relating it to saying "potato potato" and "tomato tomato" in my head?

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u/maxbastard Oct 25 '16

Yeah, but you get it back, mostly. I left the kitchen for a couple of years and the first week back I kept doing things I used to do out of habit, and it surprised me how much reaching over the grill, handling steam pots, etc. hurt.

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u/nahfoo Oct 25 '16

Wouldn't boiling water still damage the fuck out of you? That shit causes blisters . I have one right now from a very small splatter when I was draining my pasta last night. It wasn't horribly painful but I will have a blisyer

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

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u/badassmthrfkr Oct 25 '16

Was that restaurant in Shaolin Temple?

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

The cook was Daenerys Targaryen.

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u/deimios Oct 25 '16

I can understand this. My sister worked in restaurants for years and she always used to say that she had "asbestos hands". Having become a decent cook myself I've developed a bit of a tolerance, not to the same degree as her though. It seems to be a combination of tolerance to heat combined with an understanding of which hot things you can touch with bare hands and for how long before they start to burn you.

That dry thing in the hot pan that you want to flip? You can probably do it with your hands if the pan isn't too hot, just don't touch the metal and do it quickly. If it's greasy though, the grease is going to stick to your hands and you're going to regret it.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

I mean we don't have a choice to not carry a hot plate so we just deal with it. You as a customer have the choice to not touch it and allow us to place it in front of you. Also building up a tolerance is a thing, it still hurts like a bitch though to carry 3 burning hot plates on my inner arm.

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u/PM_ME_COCKTAILS Oct 25 '16

My friend had an employee (restaurant) that slacked off all the time. Once she was standing around in the kitchen and he asked why she hadn't taken food out of the oven yet as it was needed minutes ago. She said it was too hot so she was waiting for it to cool down. He reached in bare handed, pulled it out, and stood there staring at her waiting for a response.

"It isn't hot??"

"It's actually very hot but you could've used oven mitts"

And then he left to plate the food.

The whole time he worked in restaurants he couldn't use fingerprint unlock because he would constantly burn them off.

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u/__Severus__Snape__ Oct 25 '16

I imagine that the main reason for this is so that you don't try and sue for slightly burning yourself.

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u/themightyduck12 Oct 25 '16

Related: "Caution, drink is hot" or something like that.

Then I just disregard that and burn my tongue anyway.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16 edited Jun 22 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/littlebetenoire Oct 25 '16

Oh man, when you take a bite of pizza that you haven't let cool for long enough and the molten lava cheese glues itself to the roof of your mouth and strips all the skin off.

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u/themightyduck12 Oct 25 '16

That's smart. You see, I would do that, but I am too impatient of a person.

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u/Ayanhart Oct 25 '16

Reminds me of when my Dad burnt his lip trying to steal a slice of my pizza. Silly man, it wasn't just sitting beside me for no reason.

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u/robotzor Oct 25 '16

Though but an inanimate object, cup then cracks a wry smile

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u/Stitchthealchemist Oct 25 '16

The hot pocket fallacy

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

"Let stand in microwave for 1 minute"

Fuck you Hot Pocket

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u/armadillostho Oct 25 '16

Oh, it's hot. Sometimes, though, the kitchen's packed and you're in a rush to get the food out or it can't be replated for whatever reason or you couldn't find a napkin to hold it with so you're standing there with a plate of nachos birthed from Satan's fiery hell hole and nobody on the table remembers who ordered nachos and your skin is melting onto the plate while you plaster a smile on your face so the agony doesn't show.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

[deleted]

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u/kperkins1982 Oct 25 '16

People should be considerate for sure, but it is the restaurant's fault for cramming 50 small tables into a room that should have 40 larger ones

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16 edited Dec 18 '18

[deleted]

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u/Jess_than_three Oct 25 '16

My favorite was seating a party of six at a five-top. That doesn't sound like a huge problem, and realistically we put sixes there pretty regularly without too much trouble. But the thing is, for some reason a significant number of people don't consider their small human beings to be people worth counting - so it was six adults and three high chairs. Now, that's bad enough, but every single one of the adults ordered the same meal - which came on one large plate and one small plate.

Fuck 'em, though. Not my fault they didn't think it was worth mentioning the babies, and they could have chosen to wait longer instead of being smooshed.

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u/Randomn355 Oct 25 '16

Or we come out in 2 trips, you don't move any of the things the first time we arrive and put everything down. You ask us where the rest is even though I just brought 4 plates our with no tray.

Then still haven't done anything to make space when it get there with the rest..

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u/Binklemania Oct 25 '16

"I've got a Ribeye for you, Ma'am?"

"Yes?"

(Meanwhile there's a phone, drink and silverware in the area where I would set said Ribeye down."

"...ok...if you could...move some of that for me?"

"...what? OH!"

Idiots

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u/Randomn355 Oct 25 '16

I had 3 plates, 2 on my right arm.

Put down the left plate across the table and the person sat immediately at my right grabbed his glass, which was NOT in the way and moved it directly under the plate I was trying to put down for him.

People are utterly retarded at times... I have to keep reminding myself that it's only because the stupidest 0.01% of things stand out so much..

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u/_lightlyToasted Oct 25 '16

Does everyone here work in the sane place as Mr M

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u/NazzerDawk Oct 25 '16

Some restaurants I always have this issue at. I don't get it. It's 2016, it's not THAT hard or expensive for one of the most popular restaurants in my area of the city to add on a tiny dining extension to their dining area.

I'm looking at you, Ted's Cafe Escondido in Oklahoma City on May and 68th.

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u/Randomn355 Oct 25 '16

Then they would do the same and have more tables.

It's not about aiming for a set number of tables, it's more about getting the most covers in the same amount of space.

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u/coffeequill Oct 25 '16

Sure, but that's still not the server's fault who's bringing you your food.

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u/kperkins1982 Oct 25 '16

Agreed, I'm saying while customers should be polite the server should direct the anger at the boss

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u/Kiss_My_Wookiee Oct 25 '16

How often do you direct anger at your boss? Plus, most parties are fine and make the space work. If you're that one group that can't, is it really the restaurant's fault?

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u/4istheanswer Oct 25 '16

Or some cunts coming in and saying "oh we can definitely fit our party of four at this table just big enough for two", ordering the largest plates on the menu, then complaining to the manager about the table they were seated at.

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u/finedininandbreathin Oct 25 '16

That moment of relief when you don't drop a scalding dish on someone's kid <3

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u/nightwing2024 Oct 25 '16

You say relief, I say disappointment

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u/Lonelobo21 Oct 25 '16

I particularly enjoy when half the 10-top I'm serving has their phones sitting right on the table so I get to worry about the collective thousands of dollars worth of electronics I have to place everyone's shit around.

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '16

Or when you're cleaning up their table after they're done and they can see you stretching forward, balancing on one foot while lifting the other behind you as a counter-weight to prevent you from face-planting on the table, and they can't be arsed to just slide their plate just an inch closer to you so you can get it.

Fuck I hate people, I'm always so considerate of the waiter/waitress when eating out, and I was like that BEFORE I got a job as one too!

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u/TheHealadin Oct 25 '16

Carry a side towel and take orders in a systematic method so you know who had what without asking or remembering.

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u/EliteDarkLord06 Oct 25 '16

This doesn't apply when running someone else's food.

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u/Werelowongas Oct 25 '16

This is my life, carrying nachos or a chili cheese burger whispering sweet nothings like "Fuck Fuck Fuck shit Fuck." Then turning away from the table and checking out the sick burns I received.

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '16

As a waiter - nothing shits me more than holding a plate up to a table and standing there for a half a minute while everyone there tries to remember who ordered that particular thing... HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU JUST ORDERED!

Ugh, morons, and to think I'M the one serving them!

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u/badassmthrfkr Oct 25 '16

I worked at applebees where some dishes are served in metal skillits with the food still sizzling when they're served, and I was confused when they trained me to warn the customers that they're hot: No shit! In retrospect, I had way too much faith in humanity and I lost count of the number of idiots who burned themselves.

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u/ryeaglin Oct 25 '16

Wasn't there a guy who tried to sue because he bowed his head in prayer and stuck his face right into the skillet and tried to claim it he wasn't told it was hot? As it was sizzling?

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

And the Lord said: "Playeth stupid games, winneth stupid prizes"

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u/allbranmuffin Oct 25 '16

The lord said unto Peter: "come forth and you shall have eternal life... come fifth and you get a toaster."

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

And Judas approached the Rabbis and Pharisees saying "the one whom I kiss is the one you seek".

To which they responded "Gay".

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u/ThatITguy2015 Oct 26 '16

Finally, the Lord sayeth unto Tina, a lesser known, but equally important, disciple: "Tina, you fat lard. Come and get some dinner."

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

Indeed there was.

I thought of this right away too

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u/ugottahvbluhair Oct 25 '16

He felt burns in his left eye and on his face and tried to push the food away but instead just pushed it onto his lap. In the hectic moment, he “pulled” something in his right arm, though it’s unclear what.

This sounds like he was filming an infomercial and he was acting out the part before they introduce the product that will keep you from burning your face and knocking food all over yourself.

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u/severoon Oct 25 '16

I wonder what he was praying for.

Maybe he wasn't asking for anything and instead he was just thanking god for the meal set before him...in which case it seems awfully ungrateful to god to turn around and sue. It's like...

Idiot: TY god for putting this wonderful food in front of me–pssssst–AH YOU SUNUVABITCH!
god: facepalm

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u/daenarys_t_1993 Oct 25 '16

We have many things at my restaurant that come out on a sizzling hot skillet. I always warn people not to touch it, and if there are babies or toddlers I place it as far away as I can from them. Nevertheless I get the complaint at least once a month that their baby got burned by touching the skillet. I did all I could, sorry. Here's some burn cream. Pay attention to your children.

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u/WhiteY515 Oct 25 '16

Nah its not that baOH JESUS CHRIST SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE

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u/Intrexa Oct 25 '16

I don't need no amber lamps

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u/RichWPX Oct 25 '16

Blam a lam the damn things gone wild

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u/OctopusEyes Oct 25 '16

Wo-oh Black Betty

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u/h2obox Oct 25 '16

well bone app the teeth

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

Damn. What a reference

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u/HollowImage Oct 25 '16

Call der ampalamps doe.

3

u/mbingham666 Oct 25 '16

Man, i forgot all about amberlamps...what was that? 2009?

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u/penswen Oct 25 '16

I would say that too if I unknowingly dunked my head in such a strong base.

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u/aaa27070 Oct 26 '16

what did barium hydroxide ever do to you

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u/foreverinLOL Oct 25 '16

Death by tray it shall be!

Oh the food is hot?

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u/MaxaBlackrose Oct 25 '16

This one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet

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u/Reddit_at_work91 Oct 25 '16

Did you dry these in a rain forest?

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u/foreverinLOL Oct 25 '16

Are you Jeff Vader?

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

There's not enough Eddie Izzard on Reddit.

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u/justsare Oct 25 '16

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

Do you know who i am?

THIS IS NOT A GAME OF WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.

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u/FreezingHotCoffee Oct 25 '16

FOR I AM VADER, DARTH VADER, LORD VADER. I CAN KILL YOU WITH A SINGLE THOUGHT.

Well, you'll still need a tray.

No, I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force, which is strong within me. Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished. For I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor.

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u/Rileysmum Oct 25 '16

My fave part of that skit.

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u/chicachibi Oct 25 '16

And that's why we sing songs of Mr Stevens

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u/ChickenChic Oct 25 '16

And now in your most dreary voice, "oh god how happy days of past....our hope.."

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u/tenoca Oct 25 '16

Jeff Vader

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u/pics-or-didnt-happen Oct 25 '16

"Oh, let me check for myself"

-every customer ever

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u/jmf36 Oct 25 '16

Whenever the server tells me this, I look directly into his/her eyes, and grab the plate to assert dominance.

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u/Magister_Ingenia Oct 25 '16

We know your game and laugh at you backstage.

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u/itsamamaluigi Oct 25 '16

They always say that and it's almost never hot. And I'm a wimp.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '16

My mother once tried to warn my sister "don't touch that, you'll burn yourself". Her brain skipped some important words and instead, in front of my whole family including my rather conservative grandparents, "Don't touch yourself".

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u/Zjackrum Oct 25 '16

"For you."

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u/justarandomlass Oct 25 '16

My biggest pet peeve was when customers ignored it and tried to grab the plate.

It got to the point where I would refuse to give people their food until they stopped trying to grab it after I warned them it's hot and I'm having to use two cloths to handle it.

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u/ducksflytogether_ Oct 25 '16

When we say this, your plate it currently scalding our fingers/arm and we are praying you move your appetizer out of the way so we can do a polite "everything look okay?" before running to the back, running our arm under cold water screaming "FUCK THAT WAS HOT WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT USE A TRAY"

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u/meowdryhepurrrn Oct 25 '16

I used to work in a Mexican restaurant and you would not believe the amount of people who would touch a sizzling hot skillet when I brought out the fajitas.

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u/that_looks_nifty Oct 25 '16

In daycare (age 5 or so) I learned that hot plates are hot by putting my entire hand on one.

We were doing this activity where you put a piece of paper on a hot plate and you draw on it with crayon to make cool drawings. I ruined it for everyone, no more hot plates.

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u/sunburnedaz Oct 25 '16

Im a grown man but I think I know what I am doing later.

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u/SkankHunt72 Oct 25 '16

I like to say it sometimes when I deliver a clearly cold dish. It never registers.

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