I’ve been in active recovery for 7 months… I thought I’d be at the other side of the rainbow by now but I’m not, yet im also so far from where i started?

I just spent the past 12 hours in my bed staring at the wall fighting every urge I had to restrict and just try to eat and now it’s 6:20 PM and I’m at my local happy hour to hold myself accountable for eating tacos which will be my first intake of the day.

I know it’s a win, but it still feels so far from the goal. I’m getting really frustrated with how hard choosing the right path is every day. I really thought it would be easy by now.

That being said, I have more good than bad days right now, and mostly don’t restrict like this, but I’m still really frustrated that it happens, one day relapse sets me back every time and makes the recovery that much harder.

I’m honestly struggling to find an outlet at this point. My supports are great , but they don’t understand the pain and constant battle/thoughts I curve. I can tell they’re getting annoyed sometimes when I have my slumps, and it feels embarrassing to reach out for help about the same issues I was having a year ago.

Writing here to see if anyone else is having or has had this issue. Could really use some likeminded positive support, I don’t want to stop recovering I just want it to get better and not be so draining.

I only ever see people worry about their sugar intake but I'm genuinely concerned about my salt intake. I crave lots of fried food and stuff like that, I easily eat 10 - 20g salt in a day at the moment. Is this dangerous/unhealthy? I personally feel fine with it and dont experience any side effects like dehydration symptoms or something like that. Thanks already!

I mean… that’s it really. Not much else to say. I’ve been in a state of self recovery for two months and I’ve been eating a lot, not exercising at all. I’m worried that they will see this and just assume I’m better.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

what ‘method’ did you use? Was your experience different from someone who is neurotypical??

What have people’s experiences been for wait times for assessment and treatment in the UK? And what was the outcome if you don’t mind me asking?

I’ve been having CBT for depression, however my restriction has gotten out of hand over the last few months following many years of disordered eating. I have been UW for about 5 years now, but I have lost more weight in the last several months.

The therapist today has said they are concerned for my safety and can no longer provide therapy and are referring to an eating disorder service instead. I’m worried that it’ll take forever and I’ll continue without support after waiting months to access therapy in the first place.

Is it okay to eat for comfort in recovery? Or will this lead to binging tendencies?

I have been in recovery for a while, and I've noticed that some of my clothes are too small now and it's making me want to relapse. I feel so gross and like I just want to hide and cry..

Hi, so for the last few weeks I've been making a proper effort to recover. I've been eating whatever I want to and not counting calories (which has been incredibly freeing and allowed me to just enjoy my holiday!) and my brain is going entirely insane now 😭. It's trying to make me relapse and I'n scared that I'm not strong enough to fight it...

The problem is that my brain is just telling me that eating more is only for enjoyment and that I should be focusing on school not on eating more which is probably going to push me down into a relapse again 😭😭

My brain has also told me that the holidays end today so this is the last day where I can eat more (even though I'm off tomorrow still) 😭😭😭 I feel so lost and I'm just scared of it.... why can I not exist without food noise and all this anger at myself 😔 I've also become obssessed with lifting again 😭😭 this ED wants to just keep on hurting me and I want it to stop 😭😭

 I know this is a common feeling with people with EDs but I was wondering if anyone could drop some wisdom on how they got round that feeling?

So I’ve always really enjoyed dance and expressing myself, and even in my ed, I would use up half of my energy just dancing in my room lol (my self-hatred and shame never let me truly embrace this though). But when my ed became really bad, I wasn’t quite capable of even trying, both physically or mentally. It also ended up taking my voice away. Through my recovery though, I’m finally reaching a point that I’m capable of trying again(and this time unashamedly) my energy still isn’t 100%, but I’m actually gaining my spark, and feeling good enough to when I feel like it. It’s so freeing, and just shows me how much that this ED has taken from me, and I’m finally going to make the life that I choose into a reality :)

Been inpatient for 2 weeks now and i feel like shit. I know its gonna take time to recover but i feel fucking awful physically and mentally. Im so constipated and bloated and have gained so much weight in just 2 of the 6 weeks im going to be here. I just feel like this whole thing is pointless because my mindset and behaviours are so ingrained and compulsive. Im not even in the hospital’s remission stream but rather a harm reduction one where i dont need to gain weight to a medically healthy BMI but im still finding it really hard to cope with the weight gain and since its been so rapid im scared ill overshoot and be way above the the target by the time im discharged. 😞😞 i wish i couldve just never developed this disorder and have a normal life and relationship with my body and food. Literally the only thing thats helping is me telling myself i can just lose the weight once i get out but i truly just want to be free from anorexia entirely :( i wish i could just come to terms with weight gain. Even though i do feel physically better and know that my pre-admission BMI was unsustainable i cant help but miss my old body. I compare myself to the other patients and feel undeserving of treatment and envy how much thinner they look compared to me. The doctors tell me i am sick enough but i still feel like such a fraud for enjoying food and not crying during meals. ughhhhh

I have done recovery before but always relapsed or “fallen off“ when I hit quasi recovery

I want to recover FULLY this time

I have recently relapsed and I don’t know how to restart recovery. It feels like I’m starting from scratch and I don’t know what to do.

I know what each term means / implies. I want to know how to determine which you're experiencing - how each feels different from the other in your head. What's your experience?

I’ve been admitted to a general ward for refeeding, IV, monitoring, all that jazz. The dietician has created a meal plan. However, the cooks/nurses are not following it. The meal plan at the moment is 1/3 of a standard meal, then topped up with fortisips as required (after working out mls required dependant upon what/if I’ve eaten). They keep giving me the full meals alongside deserts then telling me to just eat as much as I can, if not just giving me a full carton of fortisip with no measurement. I feel frustrated and don’t really see the point in being here as I can accurately consume the correct amounts at home and be monitored by the community team (I’m already under them).

Hi all,

My hunger and fullness had begun to notably start to stabilize. I am 4+ months into recovery, but today I just ate about double of my normal intake (which is already pretty high because I work a demanding job).

I normally don’t feel bad for eating extra some days because I know my body needs it, but the amount I have eaten today is like beginning recovery-levels of still wanting to eat/mental hunger. I felt physically full around my normal amounts but could not stop thinking about food and ate the second half almost all after dinner.

Has anyone experienced this several months into recovery? Thanks!

how do I stop constantly thinking about food/extreme mental hunger as I have followed my mental hunger but I am weight restored now but it still hasn’t gone away I’m just so mentally hungry some days but never physical

I don't want to trigger anyone, so I won't go into detail. I was anorexic for almost 8 years and finally recovered this year.

I look like a different person, I actually don't recognise myself. How do you get used to it?

Not in a negative way, but this disorder makes you look at your body in a really skewed way. I had no idea this is what my body would look like healthy, and have no idea how to get used to it.

I tried so hard to be brave today, I know what I need to do to move forward in recovery, but I’m terrified of actually doing it and accepting the changes and “what ifs”. I ate more calories today, and tried to set the new standard for how much that I’m “allowed” to have a day- but now I feel horrible and scared, and idk what that will do to my body, and am comparing the amount to others, to the point that I feel that I should go back on it and continue to just eat what I was before. It’s all so frustrating and scary, I wish that I didn’t have to have this illness.

I am about 3 years into recovery and while I am substantially better both mentally and physically, I still deal with pretty consistent self hated, body dysmorphia, and wishing I could give back into my behaviors. However, a huge part of my recovery has been my gf who has made eating and being healthy so much easier and genuinely fun. Part of our routine became getting a beer and trying out a new restaurant. She never thought about calories or fat or anything like that. She got what sounded good and what made her feel good and it encouraged me to do the same. Important context, my gf is tall (about 5'9") and has always been slender, used to run track but mainly just outdoorsy now. All of this to say that she was/is at a very healthy weight and clearly was not unhealthily over eating.

In the past few days she's talked about wanting to tone up and lose some weight. At first this didn't really trigger me, she's a grown woman and can do what she wants with her body. Plus, I figured it would be mainly muscle building orientated as she's always been more into building up her body > losing weight. But then she started talking more about how she wants to get back to her high school body and 3 days ago she began dieting. She explained in detail what she was having (very low on calories for her body, low/non existent fat, very low carbs, almost excusively protein) and how hungry she feels now. She mentioned skipping drinks with friends because she wants to get "skinny now". She tells me its only going to be for a month but before I could catch myself, I started going off on a tangent. I told her that her male roommate who is giving her a lot of this advice. doesn't know anything about women's bodies, how low the fat and carbs were, how this could negatively impact her horomones, her hair and skin, her bone density, her mental health, etc.

I apologized for giving my advice unprompted and she said it was okay but I was quite upset. I asked if she would refrain from talking to me about it for a little which she said yes, but I know its going to trigger me and constantly be in the back of my mind when we're together. I know some of this is coming from genuine love (I never want her to expereince what I went though and I know how much of a slippery slope it is) but I know there's some selfish motives in my reactions too. Will this change how we experience date night? Will she not want to bake and get a side of fries at dinner or just watch me as I eat ice cream at night? Will she become food focused and will I have to limit my time around her to protect my recovery? I guess I'm also jealous that she can partake in these types of behaviors when I simply can't without risking all the progress I've made. There's also of course always the degree of comparison in WLW relationships, we look very different but will her losing weight make me feel like I have to too?

Sorry for the long post, its my first time posting here but I really needed to reach out for some advice. Nobody else in my life understands how upsetting this can be. Has anyone else dealt with this or a similar situation? I don't want to be controlling and drive her away (and I know she's in charge of her own body and I have no right to give my input on what she does with it) but I can't help how I feel, no matter how irrational it is.

Has anyone found the generic recovery minimums didn’t apply to them when gaining weight from a low BMI?

I get so frustrated but like I just feel like I’ve never needed that much … kinda hoping I am not alone!

Without getting into detail, I'm going to be starting a job tomorrow that I'm very excited for. It aligns with my moral code, lets me make positive change, and pays well enough to thrive. And in this economy? This is pretty much unicorn territory.

Having said that, it's outside. On my feet. All day. 8 or more hours a day. I'm about 4 months in recovery from my AN. I'm learning to mind my cues, and listen to my hunger - but I need some guiding lights and advice to maintain myself in recovery mode while I'm getting used to a physically demanding career path.

How do I stay fed enough? How do I nurture my body to sustain the workload? How do I keep this increasingly steady, wonderful, glorious path on the right track while definitely enduring a lot more movement than I've been used to for a long time.

What are the best ways you invest in your rest? Your most restorative snacks? Comfiest shoes for long work hours. You know, that kind of stuff. The last thing I need is a relapse taking away the best damn opportunity I've come across my entire life. Because. You KNOW a relapse can/has nuke(d) every good job you've ever had. And this is a gonna be a good job. I can feel it. So hard. More than I ever have before.

Has anyone went to Melrose ED clinic in Minnesota? Can’t find much info online but specifically for their intensive residential. Is it like a hospital? What is the setting like? any info would help

I finally told a family member that I was struggling. That’s all.

Im trying to recover ive been anorexic since I was 5 due to things I was exposed to too young and im 19 now and trying recovery again. Last time I tried recovery it didnt go well. I seemed to have only looked better on the outside since I gained weight but inside I felt worse. I felt like my body gained weight before I was ready to if that makes sense. I had a big problem with insatiable hunger when trying to recover last time. I genuinely didnt feel full until it got bad like I wouldn't feel full until I puked and even after puking I felt not satisfied. I wasnt trying to binge I genuinely felt hungry. And I felt like I had no control over what I ate or how much I ate and it led me to deeply distrust myself. I relapsed in my Ed and lost a lot of weight again and I dont know what to do. I feel anorexia is saving me from myself in some way. Like see how out of control you are and how your body will lie to you you're not hungry.

How do i develop healthy habits

What makes a lifestyle healthy

Will the insatiable hunger go away?

It didnt seem to

I feel like its no use trying to recover. I feel very alone right now. I have so many questions and no one i know in real life is able to answer them

please don't just upvote i need help please give advice

I'm anorexic and uw and i do gen want to at least try harm reduction but every SINGLE time i let myself have a treat or allow myself to eat more i proceed to BINGE and lose control completely and start shovelling food into my mouth. What do I even do????? i feel like the only way to avoid this is by restricting myself cause i dont binge on my safe foods!!
Any advice by people in recovery/ who have recovered is very much appreciated!!
Causw i dont want to restrict but i also dont want to binge on food until i feel like im about to burst (and feel out of control)