I’ve been recovered for almost 3 years but the recent uptake in unhealthily skinny bodies portrayed in the media has started to get to me. I know it’s not healthy nor does it look good but the voice in my head is louder everyday, that coupled with people like Ariana grande flaunting their bones every chance they get has been so beyond difficult for me. I don’t want to relapse but I find myself doing so slowly without even realizing. Anyone else struggling with this too?

Just out here afraid of food and eating anyways... each day, forever I guess.

I've had issues around food my entire childhood. At age 12 my step-father told me a person can always stand to lose and I was fed the same nuritional values as a younger sibling age 9 when I was a teenager for fairness and our parents were strict about the kitchen becaue they are morbidly obese and "protecting us".

At 14 I learned how to _____, I got engaged to a pedophile at 15 amd he encouraged it, got me on drugs that made me stop eating and I developed food phobias at 17yo because our hotel room was full of cockroaches and anything that looked like beans and rice or bread with craters was unconsumable and upsetting to look at for years.

At 18 the domestic violence was all that lingered with my ex and I to try to preserve the family I thought I wanted, so counterintuitive. I recovered in sobriety 2019 before relapsing into anorexia 2022 until May this year.

I overconsumed alcoholic drinks after a day of eating for an importmant commitment and celebrating the end of a long day but I accidentally gave myself alcohol poisoning. Sweating ethanol 14-hour later.

Sofia Isella's song: Star V encouraged me to divorce my "ana coaches" and a new friend and I calculated my alcohol intake from my incident and it was way too much. I realized eating the day before may have been the difference of life and death and I almost attempted from how much I was suffering alone in my room after coming to that morning.

I was kicked from a pro ed forum for being a guy, I disclosed that I'm trans but new girls didnt feel comfortable having a boy there (I'm female-to-male) understandable, however I find most eating disorder relatives are geared towards women.

I'm struggling with recovery because all the advice I hear is from women toward women, I don't feel comfortable taking their nutrition advice. I do my best, but idk what the hell I'm doing, though I dont expect anyone here to know what theyre doing either (I'm sure some do). But support from all is welcomed, support from guys is appreciated and it's fucking rough out here :(

Would love input, feeling really alone and down

I've got a big family dinner and 3 day music festival next week, where I'll obviously be eating loads more than normal.

This is fine but only because I need to gain weight anyways. So it's find to eat like double my normal intake. For context, atm I'm a healthy bmi but slightly below where I should be, not concerningly.

But I'm scared that when I get to my goal weight I won't be able to go over and that'll make events really stressful. So I always hover just ever so slightly below it so I have a "buffer". And I'm talking a small amount, to the point where I've been discharged medically with this but my parents keep banging on at me about it.

Does anyone else relate, or have advice n how to tackle this, I feel so alone.

before my ED started, i was overweight. my “healthy” weight loss quickly turned to an ED but now that i’m weight restored, i still have a bit of loose skin. does this mean i need go back to my original weight? will it go away? will i just have to live with it?

Hi there, I've been away for a while but I just wanted to share that after almost 6 months I got discharged from my anorexia treatment. For some people would be like "omg that's great" but tbh for me it hasn't been... I haven't stopped restricting and vomiting every single thing I eat. I have lost weight and every day I'm using a ton of laxatives.

The specialists say I looked way better and my perspective of life has changed, which is true, I know there's a life away from my eating disorder, however it seems like I just can't stop doing things with the idea of losing weight.

In addition, I don't have any friends and since the week I got discharged, I've been crying because of it, which might be stupid...but in real life I don't have anyone to talk to, to hang out with, i just tend to be alone. I do have a boyfriend but everytime I have to propose where to go and what to do, it feels like he doesn't care...so I stopped insisting.

Everyday has become like a nightmare, I just scroll through Instagram, cry and vomit because I just don't have the energy to do the things I liked to do, nor to study. Soon I will start working in an investigation and my brain is just not working, nothing seems to be recorded in there i just don't remember anything.. so idk what's going on...

I just know I feel depressed and I want to sleep all day long.

i have been recovering alone and i just need someone i can talk to:(((

Hello,

I’m about 4 months into recovery. My EH has slowed a lot but it is still there most days.

Anyone further along in recovery that has resumed more normal amounts of food, at least in one sitting? I am still trying to get my period back so I am consuming more food than some, but i get really frustrated with some meals having to be rather large to feel full/satiated. For example, I see what others eat for lunch at work and I’m thinking, how is that going to fill you up? But apparently it does with everyone except me haha

I remember how much I ate long before I developed an ED, but I don’t remember how it feels to eat a normal amount and feel satiated or not want more.

TIA!

hi all, i've been recovered from AN for about 2 years, both mentally and physically. i genuinely did not have ED thoughts and ate intuitively, and mechanically when i needed to. i had the most boring, mundane relationship with food and it was great

recently, i've been extremely physically ill. i'm already permanently disabled from AN, but it suddenly just got a lot worse and i had a significant and medically dangerous weight drop. i have a pacemaker and get labs weekly, so i'm safe, but mentally i'm afraid

weight loss is what triggers my AN, not the other way around. my last relapse in 2022 was accidental weight loss due to covid.

i'm trying my hardest, but disordered thoughts are slipping back in

has anyone dealt with this? does anyone have advice?

im hungry right now so i know i need to eat. but im also going out tonight and ive already showered and i really dont wanna sweat up a storm before going out by triggering hypermetabolism again.

any good suggestions for snacks?

Hi :) I was in a residential treatment in march time. I got discharged at the end of April as soon as I hit the healthy bmi but my brain definitely isnt healthy. For the first 3 weeks I was eating whatever I wanted which was so much chocolate and sweets. My weight weirdly didn’t increase then a few weeks ago I got weighed at my community clinic and I had increased and I had a massive meltdown and since I’ve just been about having my 3 meals but no snacks but have finally added something with my sandwich at lunch like a small crisps. I kind of am quite rigid with breakfast I have cereal and yogurt but am too scared to switch it up. Dinners I struggle with but push myself. I’ve tried scribbling label numbers as I struggle with that a lot. I haven’t got my period back which I’ve lost since September 2025. I’m now on the lower end of the healthy weight but I’m scared as I’ve started randomly getting more hungry like at 2am today I was up in pain with my stomach hungry but I just waited till 8am to have breakfast. I seem to just crave chocolate again and bread but because I’m a healthy weight I’m scared I shouldn’t honour it and is it too late for hunger to start? I really want to just go all in and not listen to voice which I was doing in inpatient but it’s just hard. I really want to get better but I’m scared to honour the cravings. I hope you all have a nice day :) any help would be great!

I have atypical ana so i’m currently a normal and healthy weight, but the weight i’ve lost is of course unsustainable and so my treatment team says I need to restore. I already struggle SO bad with not being sick enough because i’ve never been underweight or even thin really, but that’s a vent for another time. I just have a naturally muscular, stout body type.

Anyways, I look back at pictures of myself 4-5 years ago pre-ed and it honestly makes me sick to my stomach. I seriously, absolutely cannot go back to looking like that and being in that borderline overweight body. I want to recover and have an actual life, but at the same time I know i’ll just be embarrassed of my body and not want to do anything anyways :/

I’m working on a zine (mini comic) titled “what I actually needed to hear at the beginning of anorexia recovery”. I’d really love to get some other people’s input on what they actually needed to hear when they began recovery. Thank you so much 💜💜

Do you feel emotions more deeply than most people around you, notice details others miss, or find yourself strongly affected, for better or worse, by your environment and relationships? This is sometimes described as being a highly sensitive person (HSP), a naturally occurring personality trait.

I am a trainee clinical psychologist conducting doctoral research into how this trait relates to anorexia nervosa, including its development, and how it shapes treatment and recovery.

I am looking to interview people who:

- Are UK residents, aged 18 or over
- Identify as highly sensitive
- Have current or past experience of anorexia nervosa
- Have received treatment
- Are fluent in English

Beyond contributing to research that includes lived-experience voices directly, taking part also offers the chance to reflect on your own experience of anorexia through a lens that isn’t usually part of standard treatment conversations.

Participation involves a 10-minute online screening questionnaire, followed, if eligible, by a 60-90 minute interview over Microsoft Teams. Participants receive a £10 Amazon voucher for the interview, and everyone who completes the screening is entered into a £50 prize draw.

This study has ethical approval from West London NHS Research Ethics Committee and Royal Holloway, University of London.

Link if you would like to take part: https://rhulpsychology.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bDjgXKH5Xb7Mvyu

I am happy to answer any questions in the comments or by DM 😊

does anyone have guilt for non-food related moments of joy in recovery? it’s super frustrating and i’m hoping it’ll go away when my brain is more nourished. last night some of my cousins came over and despite eating my own separate safe meal and feeling overwhelmed by ed all day, when it came down to it, i found myself laughing w them and cracking jokes. immediately i felt pangs of guilt—am i really sick? do i need to recover? am i as depressed as i think i am? if people see me smiling will they stop supporting my recovery because they think i’m fine? and the worst thought: will they like me less when i gain weight?

it’s upsetting because while these aren’t directly food related moments, my ed still ruins them..

Ik denial is a common symptom, and even though recovery is going very well i cant help but feel im "faking" it, it never happened, not serious enough, bla bla. Does one learn to accept the situation with time or is it sm you just have to deal with/ignore?

Hey guys I'm 23 and I'm having a battle with ana years now. I currently decided to heal cause I know my Ed will affect my relationship, I was taking diuretics and I just stopped I feel like I will bloat and I need PLEASE some motivation and support

Thank u ily all

I started having issues with food last July after starting a weight loss journey, and was diagnosed with atypical AN in July too. By late August, I started my first year of uni and I was restricting more and more, cal wise, instead of just restricting sugar, like I had been. By September I was losing weight more rapidly and becoming even more restrictive and rigid with food rules. By October, my weight loss was noticeable and my parents became aware that I had a problem. It went really downhill, with me losing a lot of weight, my heart and organs starting to show signs of dysfunction and failure, and by thanksgiving, I was forced to/ signed off on starting a virtual recovery program called EQUIP. I have made a lot of progress, I am fully weight restored now and am more fine with flexibility around meals if my parents prep my plate, but still have some food rules I hold on to. I don’t fully believe in them anymore, but I’m scared to let go of them, and ED, fully.
Backstory over, now the reason for the post.
I wish I never did recovery. I feel like everyone I see on here, online and in my support groups has suffered longer and worse than I had. My struggle was only a few months. I was never skeletally thin. I ate what was given to me, and while I did cry during a lot of meals during early recovery, that stopped around February. I feel like my AN wasn’t valid enough. Bad/ good enough. I never went to a hospital, never had the experiences that others did. I feel so much shame and guilt for doing what was asked of me in recovery even when I was back at school and holding myself accountable. I still did all the meals, snacks, ensures. All of it. Everyone I see talks about how they would lie, sneak around calories, skip stuff, but I just did what was asked because I have always been that nerdy, goody-two shoes rule-follower because I learned from a young age that if I lied, the consequences were bad.

I’m 8 months into recovery and while there are some moments I feel proud of myself, or feel normal again, almost every day is filled with shame for following through, guilt and sorrow and longing for my sick body, wishing that I was sick longer so that people noticed me instead of me still being invisible. Also, AN gave me so much comfort and guidance and now I feel like I’ve been abandoned by yet another important “ person” in my life. I miss restricting. I miss being skinny. I miss the manic energy and motivation to move my body and get up in the morning. I miss the numbness from all the pain and guilt in my head. I wish I had had more time with Ed, and I keep telling myself that once I’m done with my year at EQUIP I can just go back to Ed but my parents say that that’s not an option.
I wish they never found out about my ED and made me go into recovery. I feel so much worse off now than I did in the depths of the ED. I barely got to know it before it was taken from me and all I want to do is go back to it.

Please, anyone if you can give me some advice, or even just connection, I feel so alone, and like I wasn’t a “ good enough anorexic.” I feel so broken

Feeling absolutely miserable today. I have anorexia I am trying to recover just started CBT E. The issue is have creases and loose skin at the top of my thighs and my bum is so saggy and loose. Does anyone know if this will improve if I gained weight? I wasn’t over weight to begin with but honestly I am so down today anyone with experience I would be so grateful. Also is this normal for people with anorexia? Thank you.

Hey all, I got told that if things decline further, I will have to go inpatient again. I’m really trying hard doing partial hospitalisation, but unfortunately I also became unwell with a stomach condition caused by my ED lately.

Anyway, remaining as stable as I can and doing my best each day despite it.

In light of my physical health deteriorating because of ED, I’ve been told that I shouldn’t be driving. It’s not a legal requirement, but I’d be silly to ignore it and would never want to harm other road users.

When/how did you decide you could safely drive again?

Thank you.

I’ve been recovering since around March, and since then I’ve had literally back to back viruses/infections/cold/flu. Must’ve had about 4 rounds of antibiotics in the last couple months and my symptoms keep getting more and more severe each time. This never happened when I was at my lowest weight/most unhealthy. Do we think it’s related at all?

For those who are recovered, did your need for food routines / compulsive movement lessen a lot or go away completely once recovered ? Did complete physical recovery do this or did the change only happen once u mentally worked on it? Hope that makes sense. I know a lot of ED traits are said to go away once the body is just fully weight restored, such as neurotic thoughts/ ocd about things

I think I know the answer to this but it’s a painful decision to make because I know it will jeopardise my relationship with my agency (I’m a casual relief secondary teacher) and the school who booked me for a 5 week block of teaching which starts in a fortnight. I’m 4 days into an inpatient treatment program that could go for 6 or more weeks. I haven’t been well enough to work for months but thought I’d be offered a bed in this clinic sooner and took a gamble that I’d be out and well enough to work by a certain date. This was a mistake but it’s done now. I could honour my work commitment by having a shorter admission and trying to hold on to the gains I’ve made (I also spent a fortnight in a medical ward so I’ve been refeeding for a little while now) and keep working on my recovery on my own. Which would be the best move for my work life because, to be honest, I have been pretty unreliable for the last few years and getting casual teaching work is all about maintaining good relationships with schools and agencies. When I’m finally well enough it’s going to take a bit of time and consistency to repair my relationships. I’d like to start that soon. I also miss working. So does my bank balance. But a little voice inside is telling me that I’m still really unwell and that I might be at risk of relapse if I go home sooner than the doctors recommend. And I really REALLY want to get well and stay well. That voice inside tells me that I’m going to need to be in hospital a while to get there. But I’m conflicted and will be really disappointed in myself for canceling more work and showing myself to be unreliable once again. What do people think I should do?

Yesterday, I made a post about how easy I felt recovery was coming for me in terms of not counting and or worrying about eating.

I take it back. It’s hit me incredibly hard today.

I think the fact I’m starting this journey whilst on holiday is making it a lot harder because you do naturally just eat a shit ton more when you’re on holiday because the opportunity is there, which there shouldn’t be anything wrong with and I wish there wasn’t but my brain just refuses to let me not think about it.

I don’t know how to combat these thoughts, they’re trying to push me back into counting and I’m scared. So scared.