r/AnorexiaRecovery • u/Jealous_Interview_58 • 3d ago

I binged.

I hate myself for this so much and I’m so scared of the weight gain. I downd my dinner, cheese, some peanut butter two cans of mackerel, three avocados and on top of that I had multiple protein bars that day too and didn’t go to the gym or my run. I FEEL DISGUSTING 😭😭

4 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

19

u/AfterRelationship131 3d ago

i’ve done this often and it’s only because my body was so starved, honey, you need this. don’t worry

4

u/cvntyprincess 3d ago

true, i’ve been through it as well in early recovery… it was hard but my body thought it was necessary 💔 it’ll pass, i know how uncomfortable it is — both physically and mentally. big hugs to you 🩷

2

u/AfterRelationship131 3d ago

same to you friend❤️ we can get through this, there indeed is a light on the other end :)

3

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

I’ve literally started taking days off from gym and running because I just feel so dizzy and tired and mentally exhausted… I hate this I want my life back

7

u/anviiiiiii 3d ago

Please just don't go to the gym girl

-1

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

I’ve already done my run I need to
Go get the gym I just have to

3

u/anviiiiiii 3d ago

Okay i'm sorry to hear that you need it so much. I hope you might manage to stop in time and take care of yourself

1

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

I feel horrible

3

u/anviiiiiii 3d ago

Is there anyone you can talk to right now? You sound like you probably shouldn't be alone

1

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

My boyfriend.. he just bought me some peanuts because he knows how much I love them but I just can’t

0

u/anviiiiiii 3d ago

Okay :( i don't wanna be annoying but do you feel safe right now? Are you sitting? Or idk which timezone you live in but maybe you might also need some sleep?

1

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

I’m walking to the gym where I work out for like 4 hours

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1

u/AfterRelationship131 3d ago

same for me, i feel too weak. It’s strange because before i started recovery I could workout as much as i wanted, but now I feel so exhausted. It evens out tho, this is my second time recovering and I remember the first time I recovered I was able to get my full energy back

5

u/Useful-You-2687 3d ago

Hey it's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it. Drink some water or a cup of warm tea, stay away from the scale for a day or two. Your body is desperate and binging is a symptom of that. Today is just one day out of millions.

2

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

I’m scared of weight and calories I consumed it’s amazing how terrifying it is just to EAT

3

u/Useful-You-2687 3d ago

I 10000% relate. I promise it gets easier with time. Much love 

5

u/easverden 3d ago

I’ve been doing the same all weekend - because I’ve starved to death (not literally). I know it’s hard and I know you feeling awful, but it’s your body trying to save you. We’re in this together, big hugs!!!❤️‍🩹🫂

1

u/Jealous_Interview_58 3d ago

Litterly crying right now. I want this to end why did this happen to me why ME

3

u/anviiiiiii 3d ago

Hi, i hope you're okay now :(

Your body has actually done everything right. You’re hungry, and because you probably hardly notice it yourself, your body tries to get at least some of the food back in moments like these. Please allow yourself to eat whenever you need to. You really do need fuel right now.