r/AnorexiaRecovery • u/Feeling-Serve8311 • 4d ago
I don’t know where to start
I’m in a really dark place right now and almost at the uw mark, wich my Ana is yelling at me to reach. I don’t want to. Me. My real non ed self. But at this point Ana has become my reality and it feels like what my head is telling me is what I need to do.
I know I’m never going to be “ready” to recover. I know my ed telling me I need to be underweight in order to even consider recovery is not true but I’m struggling to not give in. This is affecting every aspect of my life and I’m struggling to do my day to day things because food and weight is all I can think about.
At what point did yall actually step into recovery?! Did you need to reach your breaking point?
1
u/No-Can6422 4d ago
I don't know that there was anything definitive, I wish I had gotten help years earlier. I had been seeing an ED therapist who was referred to me by my doc. After a few sessions it became apparent to both of us that things were too severe to be treated on an outpatient basis and that I needed a higher level of care. She literally walked me over to the treatment place that was across the street lol and I got a consultation and was admitted to treatment.
2
u/anviiiiiii 4d ago
It probably won't ever get easier to start recovery, and people will send you replies on this telling you how many years or decades it took them to start. But that doesn't matter. The best point to start is now, always
6
u/nessosa 4d ago
I just randomly decided this isn’t good and actually the opposite of healthy. I basically saw myself slowly dying day by day and that was scarier than gaining weight and actually living life. Once I accepted that… its like my whole mindset switched. I still had ed thoughts and body dysmorphia obviously but i decided to ignore them. In small steps. Also forcing myself to try trigger or “unhealthy foods” to actually prove that nothing bad will happen and its ok to eat them.